omedian Rita Rudner once said,
"Large breasts don't render a woman stupid!
All the contrary. It makes men stupid."
Hello and welcome to<i> Case Closed</i> .
Let's welcome our first case of the day.
Please bring out the litigants.
She's a tease!
She caused an accident on the road
by showing off her melons!
Just terrible.
I can do whatever I want in my car.
They all stare at me because they're a bunch of pervs.
Good afternoon and welcome.
-Good afternoon, ma'am. -Good afternoon.
Marcos, you're suing Misty.
Tell me why you're suing her
and what you demand to settle this case.
Sure thing.
I'm here to sue this woman for $50,000.
Due to my accident, I lost my job,
which was the most important thing to me.
I lost my semi and the shipment I was transporting,
and now I'm being faced with serious economic hardship.
The worst part is, I can't get back to work
because the accident caused a lumbar hernia.
Okay.
Let's see what the accident was all about.
Alright.
Here's my story.
I'm a family man. I have five children.
I've always respected my wife. I love her dearly.
I work as a truck driver. I drive semis.
That's what I've done all my life.
It's all I know.
As a truck driver, I travel very long distances,
so I practically live inside of my semi.
Right.
That also causes certain... tension.
Of course.
I'm used to long hours driving at the wheel,
so I was surprised one day as I was driving down the freeway
and looked over at the car next to me.
There was a woman driving at the wheel.
Now, I was going at a reasonable speed.
I noticed this woman started showing me her cleavage.
The more I stared, the more she would undo her blouse.
It got to the point where she took off her blouse completely.
I was driving at the speed limit,
but I was also trying to be mindful of the cars
in front and behind me.
It kept getting harder and harder to drive.
The truck would slow down, but not my heart rate.
As if taking off her shirt wasn't enough,
she started giving me looks.
That obviously got my blood flowing.
I got a bit red-faced
and had to turn on the A/C because I started feeling hot.
As they say, things started getting really heated
and my veins were throbbing.
As if that weren't enough, she started fondling her breasts.
Mind you, she has huge breasts!
Then she took off her panties and showed them to me!
I kept driving, but things got harder and harder...
Driving got hard?
I kept trying to stay in control, but...
Then what happened?
She took off her skirt
and showed me her entire naked body!
Then what happened?
At that moment... bam!
You crashed.
I crashed, the semi spun out of control,
and I got thrashed around inside the cabin.
Then the police arrived and wrote me a ticket.
I had to pay for that
on top of all the other damages she caused!
That's why I'm so upset, ma'am.
Okay.
Was she given a ticket?
No! She kept going!
Of course I kept going.
So she kept going.
Did you tell the police what had happened?
Down to the very last detail.
Yet he still wrote you a ticket.
He didn't believe a word I said.
-Oh, he didn't believe you. -Not in the least!
I was practically catatonic by then.
I was in shock after seeing this woman in the nude.
Okay. How do you respond?
Let me tell you a bit about myself.
I'm a nudist.
Okay.
I love being naked.
I'm always naked at home because it's my house.
I like being naked in my car because it's my car.
I can do whatever I want. It's my property.
Have you ever been pulled over for being naked?
Nope. Never.
Okay.
My friend was pulled over, though.
One of my friends got pulled over for being naked.
She was arrested and had to take her case to court.
Okay.
We don't think it's right.
We think men and women should have the same rights.
We have equal rights in this country.
Well, men can drive shirtless.
No one would think twice about it.
No one would even glance over,
unless they had a nicely built chest.
You can't be showing yourself on the road!
Women can't do the same.
What my friends and I don't understand is,
how come men never get called out for being shirtless?
I don't get it.
They leave the gym shirtless, go to the beach shirtless...
the cops never say anything.
Women are sexual objects! Can't you see?
You're a pervert, miss!
You can't go around showing off your body!
Do you remember the incident?
Yes, I do.
You were provoking him, weren't you?
Look, the thing is, I was just driving at first.
Here in Miami, it's extremely hot and humid.
Unfortunately, my car A/C wasn't working that day,
so I rolled the windows down.
I was sweaty and hot, so I took off my shirt.
Yes, I was topless at that point.
Then this man came along and I noticed he was next to me.
I figured,
"Whatever. Let him look at me."
Then I realized that whenever I'd brake, he'd brake.
He was watching me.
He failed to mention one thing.
He was touching himself
the whole time he was staring at me.
Surely you understand, ma'am!
There's nothing to understand here.
He kept doing that,
so I figured I'd give him the full package.
I took off my pants and let him have it.
You figured you'd hit the nail in the head.
Exactly.
I didn't cause that accident.
He was busy staring at me. It was your fault!
Why should I have to pay the price for your exhibitionism?
Of course you do!
Why were you staring at me in the first place?
I was in my car minding my own business.
You're supposed to pay attention while driving.
If you get distracted, it's going to cause problems.
You were actively trying to distract me!
Sure...
You're crazy! You can't do that!
On this particular occasion,
you first got naked because you were hot.
Yes.
Then what happened?
He kept staring at me,
so I figured I'd let him have it so he'd go his merry way.
Exactly.
You wanted him to get the full package.
Understood.
Then the accident took place.
After the accident happened,
there was no point in me sticking around.
So, I kept going.
There was no point in being there.
Why stop traffic?
I wouldn't have stayed around, either.
Would anyone have stopped if they were in that situation?
Anyone?
No one would've stopped.
Then I tried locating her
to get her to pay for what she did!
When you get naked, do you take selfies and stuff?
Of course.
You do?
-I have a social media account. -What?
My friend and I run a social media page
where we challenge women.
-Oh! -You're not alone!
Of course not!
What's the page? I want to see it!
Oh, please! You follow me.
He's one of my followers.
I'm sure you've already seen her web page.
Did you bring evidence of one of your videos?
Yes, I did.
Alright!
Let's take a quick break.
Hey, girls! Alright!
I'm doing this video to inspire you to drive topless.
We have the same rights guys do!
Your wife isn't going to be very happy
once she sees this case.
You're bound to run into trouble.
That is, if you haven't already.
I'm breaking out a sweat because of this woman!
She's caused enough damage as it is
because of her exhibitionism.
She's sick! She's crazy.
Me? Look who's talking!
Some people like to live in their bubble
of hypocrisy and Puritanism.
What a hypocrite.
Bring out the defendant's witness.
Men can, but women can't.
That's definitely hypocritical of us.
Good afternoon. What's your name, sir?
My name's Jake.
I'm here to defend my wife Misty.
So you're Misty's husband! That's great.
I'm here to defend her from this pervert,
who's trying to suing her now after attacking us
in our home, beating on our doors and windows.
I'm here to support her.
Things aren't the way they seem.
We're doing this for women's rights.
In this country, like many others,
there's no gender equality.
Right.
We want to drive that home.
NO HAY IGUALDAD. - CLARO. - Y QUEREMOS APOYAR ESE PUNTO.
We want people to realize that everyone's equal,
but perverts like him ruin the movement.
So if you were to see a woman driving topless,
would you glance over normally?
I would.
But you wouldn't take your eyes off the road, right?
Go do that someplace else!
That's not even allowed at the beach!
This woman is nothing but trouble!
Bring out the plaintiff's witness.
We want to legalize this.
She's showing herself completely!
You're just a pervert.
Why not? Why not?
Because it's a distraction!
That's your problem.
You're the distracted one.
Good afternoon. What's your name?
Gustavo.
Gustavo, you're here in support of the plaintiff.
What's your statement?
Nice to meet you.
Likewise.
I don't really know this woman personally...
but I do know her a little bit.
I see her every day on my commute back home.
One day, I saw her driving naked.
A few days afterward, I saw her driving naked again...
but this time, I was right next to her car.
I turned around and made eye contact and she waved at me.
She even blew me a kiss.
She kept giving me the eye and stuff,
and then she pulled up onto the curb.
I decided I wanted to see what was up.
I pulled up onto the curb as well...
and got out of the car.
Then I went up to her car and grabbed the door handle.
I tried opening it.
She was naked.
This is practically pornographic.
Ma'am! Please!
-I was on top of the car and... -And then what happened?
She got scared.
Who wouldn't?
But she waved at me.
Doesn't that mean she wants me?
Why should a wave be interpreted as anything else?
Because he's a pervert just like him!
Why do you...?
Why'd you interpret that as anything other than a greeting?
She was naked!
Bring out Detective Peñate and Attorney Angel Leal, please.
Ma'am, I was terrified in that moment.
I was about to call the cops.
It's complicated.
Men interpret things rather loosely.
Whenever you go around waving to people,
make sure you don't blow any kisses.
There are some real savages out there.
Yeah, I know.
Let's talk, Attorney.
Is there a law that states it's illegal to drive shirtless?
Technically, no.
Now, people driving shirtless
can be charged with exhibitionism.
Now, exhibitionism is the act
of publicly exhibiting sexual organs in a lascivious manner.
The key component here is lascivious behavior.
Full nudity in public
would also be considered exhibitionism,
and therefore applicable under that statute.
So what are you saying?
Men can drive shirtless all they want.
No one will ever call them out on it.
That's right.
Isn't that right, Detective?
I'm sure if a woman did that...
Hey!
What's this fool doing?
What's with him?
See that, ma'am? He's a pervert!
Get this madman out of here!
What's wrong with you? Sicko.
That's why the movement keeps failing!
Talk about lascivious.
There are multiple states where it is legal
for women to be topless,
like Texas, North Carolina, Hawaii, Ohio...
It's permitted.
Women don't really do it, but it's allowed.
It's way colder in those states.
Exactly.
It isn't allowed in Florida,
but in Key West during Fantasy Fest, everyone's topless.
Yes, but that's in a Key West festival setting.
It may be a festival setting,
but it still takes place in public.
If you were to see a woman driving topless in Miami,
you'd arrest her.
-She might run into trouble. -But a man wouldn't.
Statutes specify sexual organs in addition to nudity.
This could be considered nudity.
There's a statute specific to breastfeeding...
In what situation
would a shirtless man on the road be arrested?
There aren't any laws against it, ma'am.
What do you mean? It's nudity all the same!
It's not considered nudity, though.
That's so hypocritical, though!
You're interpreting the law to suit yourselves!
Blame the politicians!
That's not what I meant!
Don't take it personally!
Good Lord!
I'm referring to patrol officers that pull people over.
This is a fairly conservative state.
Conservative?
Conservative my foot!
Perhaps not down here in Miami, but in north Florida, it is.
I'll tell you guys this much, though.
You're all men.
I hate driving in my car
and having some random guy staring at me
throughout my entire commute... staring, staring, staring...
You honestly get to a breaking point.
After sitting through that in traffic for long enough,
you end up showing them something for shock value.
"There you have it! Now, get lost!"
We're only human!
My ruling.
Your claim is denied.
It's final. Case closed!
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