There's nothing that you could have done.
-You okay? -Yeah.
Bee, if you hate me, I understand.
I messed up. I'm sorry.
Young fella, you are the person I care about most in my life.
If there's anything you need, I won't be far away.
He's dead because of me. He came here to protect me and he's dead.
There's some things you just can't change.
So, his sacrifice for us would not have been in vain. Hallelujah!
I'm gonna make it right. I'm going to turn myself in.
We… We've got to stick together.
-You're not going to do that. -Yes, I am.
Everything we worked for will be wiped out in one day!
-You two… -Huh?
Hey, you know the glyphs?
These? The symbols that have been rattling around in my head?
That's old school, yo. That's, like… That's Cybertronian.
That's some serious stuff, right there.
They gotta mean something, like a message or like a map.
Like a map to an Energon source!
-Can you read this? -Read?
No. We don't really do much reading. Not so much.
If you can't read it, we gotta find somebody who can.
Look who came sashaying back!
Hair growing like a Chia Pet. Look at him.
I had a bit of a mild panic attack earlier, right?
That's 'cause you're a pussy.
I think I'm allowed that, considering what I've been through.
I heard you have a problem.
-I think I know someone who can help. -Who?
Robo-Warrior.
This guy, Robo-Warrior,
everything about anything alien, he's supposed to know.
One time we revenge-hacked his site
and maybe I saw some of your alien drawings or whatever.
This is it. Yep.
Deli. Good front!
All right, wait here. I'll give you the go/no go. All right?
Number 42, we got your kishka, knish,
kasha-varnishka and kreplach combo right here.
Cash only. Who's next?
I told you to cure the lox in the brine and then smoke it.
Ma, you want me to cut my hand off, or what?
You… You ruined a beautiful piece offish, you retard!
I'm like a ninja with a blade. It's an art form.
Give me your money. Get out of here!
Hey, Sal! Watch your reach, huh? Take a number, young man.
Robo-Warrior.
-Know him? -I never heard of him.
You never heard of TheRealEffingDeal. com?
You must be talking about that amateur-hour blog operation
-with Game Boy-level security. -Robo-Warrior.
It's him! It's him! That's the guy right there! That's him!
No.
-You got to be kidding me. -All right, meat store's closed!
-Everybody out! Out, right now! -When he says to go,
-you go. -That means you, lady, right now.
-Wait a minute. You know this guy? -We're old friends.
Old friends? You're the case that shut down Sector Seven,
got the kibosh, disbanded.
No more security clearance, no retirement, no nothing.
All 'cause of you and your little criminal girlfriend.
-Look at her now, so mature. -Moron! Where's the whitefish?
Hey! Don't touch me with the pig.
-Yakov! -What?
You don't get Christmas bonuses standing around!
You want those new teeth you saw on SkyMall?
-It's my dream. -Help her out.
You live with your mama?
No, my mama lives with me. It's a big difference.
They got your face all over the news, alien boy.
-Yeah, I know. -And NBE One's still kicking, huh?
How did that happen? Don't answer.
I don't know what you're hiding, but I don't want anything to do with it.
So, good-bye. You never saw me. I got bagels to schmear. Vanish.
Can you give me five seconds? Look, hold on, I need your help.
Really? You need my help?
I need… Look, I am slowly losing my mind.
Okay, I had a little crab-bot,
plunged a device deep into the soft tissues of my brain
and started projecting little alien symbols like a freaking home movie!
And on top of that, I'm a wanted fugitive. So, you think you got it rough?
You said it projected images off your brain?
-Right. -Meat locker, now!
Dead pigs.
What you're about to see is top secret.
Do not tell my mother.
-Swine flu. Not good. -Now you know.
Next time you eat a goat or a pig, there's a story behind it.
Sad little story.
An entire city flat. How do you explain that?
Are you saying you believe in aliens now?
Okay, files, files. We're talking about symbols.
Hey, still radioactive. Hands off.
Okay, Cube-brain.
Any of these look like the symbols you saw?
Where'd you get these?
Before I got fired, I poached S-7's crown jewel,
over 75 years of alien research, which points to one inescapable fact.
The Transformers, they've been here a long, long time.
How do I know?
Archeologists found these unexplained markings
in ancient ruins all over the world.
China. Egypt. Greece.
Shot in 1932.
These the symbols you're seeing in your head?
-Yeah. -Same ones over here, right?
So, tell me, how did they end up all drawing the same things?
Aliens. And I think some of them stayed.
Check this out. Project Black Knife.
Robots in disguise, hiding here all along.
We detected radioactive signatures all across the country.
I pleaded on my knees with S-7 to investigate it,
but they said the readings were infinitesimal,
that I was obsessed.
Me. Can you imagine that?
Yeah. Megatron said that there was another Energon source here.
-On Earth. Another source? -On Earth.
Okay? And that these symbols, maps in my head, would lead him there.
You talk to your Autobot friends about this?
No, no, no, the source is before them.
Whatever the Energon source is, it predates them.
It's before them.
-So, it comes before them. -Correct.
Well, then we're porked, unless we can talk to a Decepticon.
I mean, I'm not on speaking terms with them.
Actually, I am.
Let me out!
-This is going to be a little bit sad. -Open it.
I will have so many Decepticons on your butt!
Hey, behave!
-What is it, a Decepticon? -Yeah.
-And you're training him? -I'm trying to.
I spent my whole adult life combing the planet for aliens,
and you're carrying around one in your purse like a little Chihuahua.
Do you want a throwdown, you pubic 'fro-head?
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your eye, you know,
but, if you're a good boy, then I'm not gonna torch your other eye.
Okay? I'm not gonna torch it.
Just tell me what these symbols are, please.
All right.
I know that. That's the language of the Primes.
I don't read it, but these guys…
Where the frick did you find photos of these guys?
-Is this they? -Yeah. Seekers, pal. Oldest of the old.
They've been here thousands of years, looking for something. I don't know what.
Nobody tells me nothing, but they'll translate those symbols for you.
-And I know where to find them. -Show us.
Yeah.
The closest one's in Washington.(Cliptonite-CoolestClips4K)
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