Well, my only real relationships have all been long-distance relationships,
so I guess you can consider me some sort of expert in this field.
(WARPING ELECTRONIC TUNE)
Hello and welcome back to the channel.
Today, I want to answer your questions about relationships,
more specifically, long-distance ones.
So, I went to the Community tab on my channel,
which is something I've been using a lot lately,
and I requested some questions and some of you came up with some questions.
Take a shot for every time I just said "questions".
But we're responsible and drinking water while I'm filming.
"What are some little ways you can make your partner feel loved?
"Not like huge shows of affection.
"Just small things you can do every day."
So, I like to send my boyfriend little gifs on Facebook Messenger.
My most popular ones seem to be the Sailor Venus kiss thing.
You know, that one, I can't remember what attack it was,
but, you know, it's just really cute.
Most recently, I did "Will Chu be my Valentine?"
It was a little Pikachu holding a little heart, you know, for Valentine's Day,
and I thought it was absolutely adorable.
And most recently, I've left a Facebook post on his wall
that said "Hey, you're pretty nice-looking" or whatever.
Not only that but, you know, just sending some snaps.
You know, we send little "I love you" snaps,
and, if he's working, you know, just check in every once in a while.
Just ask 'em how their day is going, you know?
"I'm kind of in a long-distance relationship.
"How can you show them you love them since you can't give them hugs or go on dates?
"I've been trying to write Open When letters or letters in general to show my affection or care.
"I guess, even though we can text, I would say it's more sentimental.
"That's why I'm putting in this effort."
I actually find that really cute
because it's something that I've been considering myself,
and I even went to Barnes & Noble and I actually saw what I'm assuming
you're using is the actual, like, product that says "Open when" or whatever.
I mean, yeah, those are really cute.
I kind of already answered this in the other question.
You know, just leaving nice little messages.
Texts are great.
My boyfriend and I, we tend to send more snaps than we do text messages.
I think it's because, with text messages,
you can't see their face, but, with snaps, you can, so it's just...
For us, we just kind of like it better that way,
although sometimes you want to keep some messages,
which you can't really do on Snapchat, unless you screenshot, which I do now,
because it's not as creepy now because we're together.
But, yeah, I think the letters is really, really nice.
I've been considering that myself.
I'm glad you brought that up,
because, when I was getting ready to leave for my trip during Halloween week,
he actually bought me a little notebook from The Container Store
because I was looking at it and I'm a sucker for notebooks and it was my favourite color,
and he just grabbed it and went off with it.
And I was like, "You don't have to do that."
But, then, just recently, I was thinking, "What if I took this book and I wrote letters in it?"
Because I think that would be something cute to read.
And, you know, I did make him a memory book for Christmas
but I think this is a little bit different than that, but I think that's a really cute idea.
Otherwise, you know, just keep sending, you know, little...maybe cute gifs,
maybe cute graphics that you've seen.
Just send really nice, reassuring messages.
Just something simple like an "I love you" is just fine.
"With online dating sites, has being deaf made it hard for you to have a partner?"
Well, I'm in a relationship right now so we don't have to worry about that,
but I actually did do a video not too long ago about...
It's called "Will I be loved despite my disability?"
Something like that, so I would say just go watch that video 'cause I don't...
Just in fear of repeating myself too much,
but, to try to shorten it as much as possible,
in the beginning, when I was first trying online dating,
yeah, I thought it was a little bit frightening and that it really wouldn't work out,
but, I guess, at the end of the day, in some ways, it did,
although it wasn't really online dating websites.
It just so happened that I met my last boyfriend and this boyfriend over the internet,
over YouTube and Twitch.
"Why do people not like that I never want to get in a relationship?"
I think, because in this day and age,
we've been conditioned to think that, if you're not graduating high school
and then going to college and then getting a job
and then going to get married and then getting kids,
that we're failures in life or whatever or we're not doing what it is expected of us,
which is annoying and I completely understand your frustrations,
but, you know, if somebody just tells you, "Why aren't you gonna get in a relationship?"
Or whatever, whether it's somebody
that wants to be in a relationship with you or is just wondering, like,
I don't know, your mom, because, you know, moms want to nag about grandchildren, right?
Just "I don't want to, end of story, done."
Some people are probably going to try to nag forever about it
but all you can do is just ignore them.
"How do you cope with a long-distance relationship?
"I imagine it wouldn't feel as strong as if you were together often."
I would say that our relationship is pretty strong.
At times, it can feel a little bit lonely,
to which my response really is try to set up, like, online dates.
So, like, I used to use Rabbit a lot
and you could watch Netflix or Crunchyroll or anything else,
or you could just sit there and talk.
It was essentially the same thing as Facetime or Skype
but you got to do a little bit more with it because you could have movie dates, right?
Communication is a must.
There are some days when, you know, it's the actually saying goodbye part that is hard
and then, when you get back into your, like, 'separate lives', it sucks, it feels lonely
but it's not as horrible, it's not as heart-wrenching
as when you're saying goodbye.
I mean, I feel like it might be difficult to explain this
because I don't want to say that being apart isn't sad, because it is, but, you know, just...
If you're in a long-distance relationship, you probably get what I'm trying to say here,
but, yeah, when you're just feeling really lonely,
you get a Facetime date, a Rabbit date,
just some sort of online date, it'll help a lot
because, if you're not seeing each other,
even if it's, like, in text messages or Snapchat, whatever...
There have been times when I've text my boyfriend
getting really upset about the fact
that, when there were times that we really couldn't talk as much
because he would be really, really busy or I would be really, really busy, you know,
and it just really, really sucked.
Communicate your feelings and get it out - it'll help a lot.
Another thing that I've been doing is,
because my boyfriend and I really started getting together because of Twitch,
he visits my streams often and we play video games together on there - that's always fun.
"How do you balance your own life and spending time with your partner?"
Finding your own hobbies, I think, for one.
You don't really have to spend every single day with your partner.
Now, for me, because I am in a long-distance relationship,
when we're together, I want to be together all the time.
I mean, there are some times, yes, I may want an hour to myself,
but, really, for the most part, I just...I want to hold on to him
and I'm like, "No, you're not going anywhere," which doesn't always work
because my boyfriend has a 'mainstream job' so I can't always keep him to myself,
but, yeah, get your own hobbies and you can set your own schedule that way.
You can say a Friday night, you all can hang out together
or this many nights you hang out together,
and then this many nights you do your own thing.
I think it's really just all about communication,
finding out both of your schedules and just coming up with a plan together.
And this one isn't so much a question as it is a statement
but it's something that I agree with and I kinda want to talk about.
"I'll say a relationship is all about trust
"and you have to be honest with one another and I'll say, for me, that I'm still learning."
And I agree with that.
There are definitely some things I've learned in the past year.
I've learned to be a lot more open about communication and honest about my feelings
because one of the bad traits about myself is that I am terrible at expressing my feelings,
so what ends up happening is I let things build up,
which only ends up getting worse, so I end up getting resentment for my partner
and also resentment for myself because I'm letting it happen and grow and it gets toxic.
So, I've been finally learning to open up about things
and, yeah, sometimes, it may be a conversation that you don't want to have
and it may kind of go badly for a little bit,
but what matters is you get your feelings out there and you be honest.
Relationships aren't puppies and kittens and rainbows and glitter and sparkles 24/7,
as great as that would be, so you just...
You gotta kinda work through it, you know?
But not just being honest
about if you have some sort of problem that's going on with a relationship,
but also just, like, if I'm feeling, like, really...
If I'm having a really bad depression episode,
I used to not ever want to talk about it because of potential backlash,
which has occurred in the past,
but now I'm, you know, being much more open, or attempting to be much more open.
Doesn't always work, but, if I'm asking for help,
even if the help cannot be given because it might be out of someone's control,
it's been a life-changer.
But, yeah, in any relationship, honesty and communication is very, very important.
If you don't have that, it's kind of basically a recipe for disaster.
Alright, so, those are all the questions and comments that I received
in the Community tab.
Thank you for your questions.
I hope I helped you out with something.
Admittedly, I don't know much about relationships where you live in the same spot
and you see each other often, but, hopefully, I helped out with the long-distance ones.
If you have any other questions, I guess, you know, feel free to leave them down below.
I'll try my best to get to you
or maybe somebody else might see a comment and reply.
Everybody's welcome to, you know, help each other out with stuff.
As always, I very much appreciate you watching,
and, if you want to consider translating this video into other languages,
I'll have a translation link down below, and thank you if you do.
Again, thank you very much for watching and I will see you later. Bye.
(DYNAMIC POP TUNE)
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét