When people go on to really nasty things like
"Tera baap", "Tu moti bhais saali, tujhe bajaunga"
I think there has to be a rule like don't write anything
that I can't say to your face.
Guys! I'm saying this once and for all!
I'm not just crazy for dogs but I really wanted to do
something for them.
I'm Malini and welcome back to another episode of
#TheGirlTribe.
More power to all the girls out there who're a part of
MissMalini's Girl Tribe!
I'm so excited! Mallika Dua is here and I've been dying
to do this show! So, thank you so much for being here
with me.
First, let me just tell you that Mallika Dua who's
absolutely looking so cute, I love the polka dots!
And you have been looking more and more fashionable
I have to say.
Just, you know, when you're a diva, no? You can't
hide it too much. Aise woh nikal aata hai.
It just bursts out of you.
And I just everyone to know three things about her
which I think is really cute.
You wanted to be an astronaut
when you were little, which is adorable!
You are shy and both of us are wearing extensions
today, as you do.
Okay, so one of the things that I really wanted to talk
about, because I live on the internet, okay?
So, it's kind of my home and just like you have this
'Swachch Bharat' campaign, I'm like, "Can we do a
'Swachch Internet' campaign"?
Because people are so mean, you know?
And I've seen it. They troll me all the time, they say
mean things. I just put up a post where someone said,
"You have a big nose." And now you know what I do?
I compare my nose to all other noses in pictures.
Yeah, that's what they want. Yeah.
In every photo and I'm like whoever did this to me,
that was so mean.
And you've obviously been on the receiving end
as a comedian.
Ya.
Not a female comedian!
But as a comedian, you have to face this a lot.
First of all, tell me what is this whole
female comedian thing?
So this term is bullshit, first of all!
Because there is no female banker, right?
There's no female real estate agent.
There is no female comedian.
Humour is humour.
And we've just made this division
because it's easy for us to justify our prejudice, I think.
And secondly you know, it's not a compliment
when someone says, "You're my favourite
female comedian."
I'm like "Okay then, among five people, you like me best".
"Great!"
Like, isme kya hai?
So, umm...
No, I get that there has to be more
representation in comedy from females.
But then, saying female comedian, just
dilutes everything.
Completely.
Because humour, unlike other things,
is not gender-based.
Ya, you may be at an authority to crack
certain jokes because you've experienced
them first-hand
by virtue of your gender.
But you're not a female comedian
or a male comedian and so I think
we need to get rid of that term.
We need to focus more on including people
and not discriminating against them because
they're females.
But, let's not identify ourselves as that.
There's all these stereotypes about comedians
who are women.
I mean it's more like, "Be a little more lady like."
Most of the time it comes from men
or something, if they don't know what,
like being a girl includes a lot of things, right?
We have all kinds of moments
and because we choose to only put out the best
stuff online, a lot of people start dehumanising us
in the process.
If we even expose a little humane side,
it's looked at as "oh, chee", I don't want to see that.
So there's a lot of that and then there is trolling.
You know I used to think that only I get trolled
because I'm chubby, or something or the other.
But it just turns out that every girl is trolled.
Somebody put a comment up saying,
on one of my pictures saying,
"Malini, you're looking older".
And my mom, who's 75 by the way,
replied saying, " So what? Are you getting younger
everyday? Then you'll turn into a baby and then what?"
I was like, "Smackdown from my mother!"
This ageism is such a thing with women in particular.
And it's so, so harmful because
we feel so much better as we grow older.
We're so much more successful.
You just see a few lines here and there
and you think, "accha, hogaya!"
It's so foolish, I don't get it.
It's more in our country at this point
that we need to open up to the idea of
not chasing youth.
Or just this idea of youth.
Because even abroad,
there are women doing huge things.
Nobody cares how old they are!
Oprah is one huge example, right?
It doesn't matter.
Yahan par hi hai, ki umar ho rahi hai.
Har cheez ke liye
hamari umar hi horahi hoti hai hamesha.
Like, once you hit an age
you can't be an actress anymore—
Actress nahi ban sakte, you can't do anything!
And it's just bizarre.
And that's the problem
I think that's one of the reasons that the internet
needs to get kinder and nicer.
That's why like, I hope you join #TheGirlTribe,
It's Malini's Girl Tribe on Facebook
and Mallika's in it too!
And we have some amazing conversations
and people in it.
And you know, one of the things
I've realised is that,
people don't treat the internet like a human place—
They don't treat it like the real world.
You know, they'll say...
Kuch bhi kehte hain.
Ya, it's their dustbin.
Exactly! So,
I think there has to be a rule.
Like our rule on the blog is, "We won't write anything that
I can't say to your face."
What is it about people that makes them be so...mean?
Anonymity.
Haan?
Anonymity.
Like the minute you realise that you are not
identified for saying or doing whatever you want—
You're free.
You're free to do anything, right?
Like, anything at all!
And nobody will know that you did it.
It's kinda like heckling, right?
Heckling still requires guts, you know.
Heckling is like, you're doing it at the risk of being hated
by hundred other people there.
Or at the risk of being told to get out of there.
You know that is still something that's gutsy.
It's annoying, but it's not such an act of cowardice
as trolling is because trolling is the ultimate worst,
you know?
Putting out your opinion is fine.
Like, you say "Mallika, I don't think you're funny."
Fair.
I will not delete that comment or
I will not block you for it or whatever it is.
But when people go on to really nasty things like,
"Tera baap ye, tu moti bhais sali, thuje bajaounga",
and you know, things like that.
And then you're like...
Matlab, you don't have the guts to say this to my face.
Like, if you saw me in person, you'd probably not have
the guts to come up and speak to me.
You'd probably take a selfie.
Exactly!
And here you are, doing this.
So, why must I allow your trash in my garden?
When I was just starting out, I'd retaliate,
because the volume wasn't so big, right?
When you're niche, more people love you.
It's a fact!
And Ekta Kapoor told me this, in fact.
"When you're niche everybody will love you! The minute
you start getting hate, it means you're reaching
more people."
What you guys can do, and a lot of us don't know this
is that a lot of social networks have certain filters.
Like, Facebook has a profanity filter
where you can set a certain number of keywords
and not have those kind of
comments on your pictures or posts.
So there are a lot of things you can do,
but above all, I think the most important thing is,
we shouldn't focus so much on the trolling—
We should focus on what it does to us and not let
it stop us from doing the things that we have to do.
Like, if you want to wear something, you want to wear it.
You want to do something? You should do it.
Okay, so I actually got a bunch of questions for you
and lots of love on #TheGirlTribe.
So we're going to answer some of these.
So, Sunaina Holey wants to know have you faced
any issues being single?
Is that something that becomes a thing for you?
Hi Sunaina!
I haven't faced that issue apart for when you go to
search for a house.
A lot of people don't want single people.
It's bizarre!
Because families can be as fucked up as single people.
What do they think you're going to do?
Bachelors!
Okay, this one is so cute!
Naheda says, "Hey Mallika, my Duas are with you."
Is that the first time you've heard that?
No, lots!
Oh sorry. I thought she'd be...
"Dua mei yaad rakhna", everybody says.
I love that.
So she says, "Huge fan".
Shwet Gandre says "Kudos for standing
up against the establishment."
So you actually faced something
which is next level trolling, right?
Trolling by a celebrity.
Ya.
By a celebrity's fans.
Celebrity's fans?
So is that different than regular trolling?
Ya. It's very scary because, when there is an army
of people, and this happens to a lot of women online.
Like, I've not been the first, right?
It's just this culture and the only way to deal with it
is to not be bullied.
Because you may disagree with what I'm saying,
you may have a problem with me bringing it up a
month later.
You may have a problem with me saying anything, but
but the fact is, firstly we are well within our rights
to bring it up. We're even well within our rights to
press charges, if we so desire, but we don't.
And thirdly, you cannot bully someone to the extent
that speaking out becomes a problem.
And that is what we need to ensure.
Like, no matter how scared you are, girls, no matter how
whatever you are, don't ever not speak!
I love Swara (Bhasker) for not shutting up when people
try and make sure that she does.
And they try every rule in the book, to do that.
I'm glad that we have this culture now,
where we don't stop.
Cause troll armies are very, very scary.
They're really scary and they just won't stop, right?
And they'll go to all mediums.
For example, if the whole thing blew up on Twitter,
And you're Instagram is a happy space,
like my Instagram is a happy space.
So suddenly you'll see that they come to your
Insta, in your comments and they start writing
and sending you rape threats. Like, just DMing you
nonsense and I'm like, "Kyun?"
That star that you're defending, doesn't even know
you exist.
Doesn't give a rat's ass about you.
And here you are, wasting your precious time
and energy on bullying someone.
Bullying someone, yeah.
There's a friend of mine and she's an actress
and people just...Like, she will put up maybe a
sexy photoshoot and then this guy will be like,
"Where's your bra from?"
Someone told me, "Darling or sweety, whatever,
you don't wear a bra? Why don't you wear a bra?"
Like in my Instagram story.
I'm in bed dude. Why will I wear a bra?
I'm at home!
It's one of those days, you know?
The best days where you don't have to...
If I'm at home and in bed, why would I wear a bra?
Okay, so there's one more thing I'm going to
make you do!
I've decided to make a pledge board, okay?
So, I've printed out this super sexy photo of you.
The #GirlBoss and I want you to make a pledge,
as a girl, to the #GirlTribe;
something that you are going to do!
Okay.
It is your pledge!
I pledge to eradicate the term "female comedian"
Yes!
from our collective dictionary.
I'm writing "scyauz me" at the end
because that is how...
I love how you spell "Scyauz me"!
Guys! I'm saying this once and for all, for the public
Someone spells it as 'squays', someone says, 'squaz'.
It is 'scyauz' and this is my pledge!
To remove this term 'female comedian' from the online
dictionary.
Because actually it's very discriminating, this term!
I just want to say.
I love it! I love it!
Okay!
I just moved your couch only.
Aapke liye ek pin madame.
Ji! Aur meri photo kidhar jayegi?
Dono saath mein!
Accha!
Done hai, phir toh!
Here?
Yes!
Yeah!
Thank you so much!
You are the best!
Thank you! You are the best and I love you!
Alright! So there, it's happened.
I still feel like it's a little bit surreal, but Mallika Dua
was here and she was amazing!
And in case you want to see her slambook,
it's going to be up on Malini's Girl Tribe on Facebook
and I shall see you, right after this!
There are so many super #BossLadies on
#TheGirlTribe and beyond.
And of course on this show, I want to show you off!
I want to showcase you fearless entrepreneurs
and your talent, your passion, your businesses
and inspire little girls out there,
to go and do their own thing.
So check out
how this one very cool #GirlBoss
is living the "Pawfect" life!
Hi! My name is Niharika and I am
the Founder of Pawfect life.
Pawfect life is our crazy pet house!
We love having dog lovers! They can come over
and pet our dogs.
So it's more of a dog therapy and if people are going
out on vacations or probably busy at work,
then they can come and drop their dogs off with us!
We are here to take care of the fur kids!
When I was a kid, I used to actually pick up these
little stray dogs and get them home.
My parents used to be super mad at me but then
yes, my dad was like "Okay, alright, just feed them."
So I used to feed them, I used to treat them,
I did as much as I could for these little stray puppies.
And after my graduation, people were like, "Oh Niharika,
so, what do you want to do? Do you want to do an MBA
Or what are you going to do in life now?"
And I was like, "Guess what? I would like to
learn about animals!"
I'm an animal behaviourist.
I just thought that this is so much better than you know,
going into engineering, or being a doctor, or an MBA.
I'm not just crazy for dogs,
but I really wanted to do something for them.
And that's exactly the reason why I started Pawfect Life.
I am Niharika and I'm proud to be a part of #GirlTribe!
Oh my god Niharika!
You are living the 'pawfect' life!
Look how cute these guys are!
By the way, I'm definitely going to come and visit.
And the girls in the tribe can sign up!
Just go to Malini's Facebook page!
You are a #GirlBoss, which is why you're going
on my #GirlTribe wall of fame!
And that's a warp on this episode of
#TheGirlTribe! Thank you guys so much for tuning in.
And by the way, if you missed any of the last few
episodes, you can go and watch them now.
There are links below. And also, you know, I want to ask
you a question that's kind of been on my mind.
Since I never explored online dating, I really want to
understand it.
I know so many women who are happy with it
and so many who really cringe.
So my question is this,
How tricky is online dating really
and what would you change about it, if you could?
Join the conversation thread on Malini's Girl Tribe on
Facebook and make sure you share your views
with me! See you next week.
Good vibes only!
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