Be advised this video is loosely scripted and features strong language.
Hey what's up guys It's TomInbound and today LET ME GIVE YOU THE MOTIVE FOR TODAYS
RANT. On a cold winter morning tom's arse was plastered to a chilling toilet seat, tom
heaved and heaved and let a nice shit out, relieved to have this burden removed tom reached
for the kitchen roll. YES FUCKING KITCHEN ROLL. I HAD TO WIPE MY ARSE WITH KITCHEN ROLL.
TOOK ME RIGHT BACK TO THAT SHITTY TOILET ROLL IN SECONDARY SCHOOL BUT THIS WASN'T JUST
LIKE THAT SANDPAPER BS IN SCHOOL. THIS WAS LIKE TINY SHARDS OF GLASS WIPING AGAINST MY
RAW ARSECHEEKS. You want some context well I'll see you after
the intro. I present to you Toilet Wars: Rogue One edition.
Toilet wars happened for the second time. Toilet wars is a game we have to play with
our good for nothing flatmate. It's my first year in a shared household for uni and motherfucker
don't contribute for shit. We like to think that we take it in turns buying communal products
like toilet roll and washing up liquid. The first time toilet wars happen I had a secret
stash of toilet roll set aside for my wanking purposes so it was fine, but the second time
I had to resort to using kitchen roll. Now I live with two guys, one is my best friend
and one is THE MAN[squirrel head turn + shock music]. I will get into THE MAN [squirrel
head turn] shortly. But yes those times my friend decided his best possible action while
we waited for THE MAN to purchase some toilet roll was to only poop when he needed a shower.
If I knew I'd be living in these conditions I'd have asked for donations in advance,
but no all jokes aside the moment that dry sore arse inducting kitchen roll touched my
arse my eyes lit up and I clicked. It's time ladies and gentleman today despite the
fact I've not finished Uni and still live with them. It's time for the flatmate rant!
[fire effect transitions? Monks passing a book?]
I'm going to be talking about my first two years of uni first and then I'll save THE
MAN for the end so make sure to stick around. Year 1 wasn't so bad when I look back at
it, it's only with future events and flatmates that I can say that I'd have given it a
better yelp review. Year 1, tom was a little naïve baby fresher at University he didn't
know the utter amount of shit that could come in future years. Now I lived with 3 people
in first year at the start of the year I'd have said all 3 were pretty awesome people.
Later on that year one became my best mate, one was still pretty cool (il let her off
for the one time she got pissed at us) but one of them changed. One of them became sloppy,
lazy and untidy. One of them burn the fuck out of my pan never washed it which totally
fucked it (if you didn't know if someone uses my shit I expect them to wash it and
will attempt to wait out until they do seems fair). This one person would stack up weeks
of washing and put it in the fucking sink so you'd have to empty it every time you
wanted to wash. She'd leave… oh given away the gender oh deary me. She'd leave
clothing all over the main room, would be incredibly loud, would blast out music, would
have snotty tissues everywhere, laying on the couch all fucking day not attending uni,
and did some of the most random things now my memories a little fuzzy on all the stuff
she did but I remember me and my friend being incredibly annoyed most of the time. For example
leaving a cake in the middle of the corridor me being me moved it slightly closer to the
main door so the cunt trod in it, obviously she demanded a new cake she DIDN'T FUCKING
GET ONE LOL. Don't leave fucking cake in the fucking hallway on the floor who the fuck
does that. Side Note: Here's something that pissed me off she got dozens and dozens of
cash from low income (fair enough), giant bursarys for good results in BTECS, FUCKING
BTECS, another loan for dyslexia, additional loans for other shite and even a job. Now
because I mentioned dyslexia I'm going to sound like a cunt but the point is she was
rolling in cash meanwhile I was budgeting like a mother fucker, she was constantly in
the red even after she'd told me she gets several thousand pounds a month or so compared
to my about £150-200. Yet she was constantly in overdraft buying expensive clothes and
constantly going out. Now I'm not a doctor but I didn't think dyslexia meant the need
to constantly have the latest fashionable clothes and get sloshed. Anyway none of this
truly annoyed me it was the constant harbouring of fugitives now I'm joking but our tenancy
Is we're allowed someone over two nights per week. She had 2 people permanently living
there on separate occasions, not to mention countless men she'd slept with, those were
comfortable breakfast meet and greets for me. One of the people that permanently stayed
that was a girl that had a falling out with her boyfriend fair enough I will give you
that, funny thing is she has a lot in common with this girl both got fucking pregnant in
first year didn't they. Any who fuck me the second one; second one was such a fucking
arsehole. Second guy was an ex-bouncer at a night club who got fired for being too violent,
yeah too violent. He was living within my fucking flat dating my flatmate. First time
I met him I was told his name beforehand and I was like hey I'm tom your (lets say bob).
Hey I'm Tom you're bob right? Arsehole Bob gives me a menacing look. His girlfriend
interjects "His names Bob but he hates it he likes to be called Nugget Cunt (okay that
wasn't the actual nickname)". Alright Nugget Cunt so you're telling me this adult
who is probably twice as old as me and her despises his name so much that he doesn't
get it changed he's fucking old enough it's not that hard Nugget Cunt. Anyway that pissed
me off, he was pretty much silent with me ever since. He was such an arse to the point
that I'd sometimes avoid him to cook if he was in the lounge some nights me and my
friend cooked at 11pm because of how much of a violent twat he was. We'd hurt him
threaten to beat down his girlfriend and I think he did hit her a few times, he'd constantly
be shouting at her. One time we even heard them having a nice bit of anal sex on the
side with lovely spanking. Anal sex presumably from the noise of her dropping a deuce right
before they had sex every time. So we've got a sloppy, lazy, messy girl that takes
it up the arse from her violent, nugget cunt boyfriend who presumably hits her (at least
threatens to). Yeah they broke up ever so often got back together, he got her pregnant,
she dropped out of university, and now they're engaged. I hope child services take that kid
away god damn. On to the next thrilling year of university.
Year 2 Year 2 fuck me was there some drama at the
end, I'd already got myself into so much shit that year for starters I almost got fucking
killed but that's a story you'll have to ask for in the comments if you want it.
Brand new flat, still got my friend with me but two new guys with us. As per usual both
seemed pretty cool at first. Quick note on the flat, it was the same apartment block
as first year which the quality was great; however they got bought out after we'd already
signed on for next year. The new company fucking ran this place into the ground our new flat
had holes in the carpets, ripped up couches, windows that didn't open and more. Back
to the topic. One of the guys had been in the army and was pretty cool ended up going
to his wedding. He was a little messy at the start and used some of my stuff without asking
but in the end just by asking him about it he stopped and we were cool and he's still
pretty cool today. The other guy let's call him bleached arse he was really something.
This guy was just so fucking I don't even know… I guess we will just talk about the
stuff he's done. Similar to the girl in first year he was always complaining about
money despite having a job, going out all the time, getting pissed and even going on
holiday. Oh and of course he and the girl last year also spent shit tons on cigarettes.
Also similar to the girl last year he constantly brought guys home one of my flatmates described
one morning that he was walking through the corridor and bleached arses door was open
and he saw some naked dude covering his bits and apparently before the door quickly closed
he looked like golem. Anyway the reason I bring that up is because god damn that room
was fucked. You thought that I said the girl last year was untidy, well not compared to
bleached arse. Let's take a look at a photo of his room and you will truly start to understand.
Yep sorry fred if you're watching everyone has a photo of when inspection came over when
you weren't in. Yeah unsurprisingly he failed room inspection but he also later got caught
for having a hamster in his room, why not spend more money on a fucking animal when
animals are banned in student accommodation, what's the harm it's just a fucking annoying
hamster that he tried to pass on responsibility to us when he was out. One time he went out
(sorry again fred if you're listening and also RSPCA for that matter) he dumped the
hamster in its ball in my room and the holes in the ball were big enough to let the hamsters
shit fall out so as me and my friend are gaming this hamster is shitting all over my room
so I lock my door, pick up the hamster ball, put it in a clothes basket and slide it under
my bed until I hear him return home. Yeah not great but it's better than me stepping
in shit. Fred was also quite impulsive for example buying a hamster, going out a lot,
drinking way too much for example he had thrown up in a bucket and left it in his room for
around 2 weeks, dirty cretin. Another time a few days before we had another inspection
we wanted the communal room tidy and all the stolen cones gone (yeah hes that kind of impulsive)
so we were going to get rid of his prized quote on quote baby cone, he was fucking fuming,
he loved his cones for some reason he told us that if it wasn't there when he came
back he'd be really mad, I had a heated argument with him but I usually think to myself
I don't take bluffs so we binned his prized baby cone, out to the abortion bins it went.
We did a stealth mission by covering the cones in bin bags and avoiding the cctv in our apartment
block was epic. Anyway he came back that night and was screaming at the top of his lungs
about how the baby cone was gone. Oh and we did give him the option to keep it in his
room which is already full of shit just not in our communal room. So yeah he was screaming
at like 3am I was texting my mate about it and we were both so mad the adrenaline was
going. But that's the problem with us we often just get mad and then cool down sometimes
I feel like action has to be taken. Anyway I will show you a picture or clip of the communal
area. Pretty fucking messy now bear in mind there was also a cupboard under the sink that
was full of dirty pots that was there for like 3 months because as he says he's just
too busy that being hardly attending uni and oh I'm ill, fucking grow a pair your coughs
are about as loud as a girl farts. Generally he was just fucking lazy how can you be busy
for 3 months so busy that you can't wash your pots, throw a puke bucket out or move
a fucking cone. Oh god I just remembered going along with the dirtiness of said person, he
used to wear this disgustingly brown shirt (it was originally white). I say shirt but
it was the thinnest v neck I've ever seen it was like a g string for your torso. You
could see his nipples 90% of the time. Along with the laziness is never taking bins out
and being too lazy to put a tea towel anywhere but on the floor, the amount of times I picked
up tea clothes from the floor covered in shit was insane. I say covered in shit because
fred constantly had parties and never cleared up after them. Yeah this guy had fucking loud
parties he always used to sing and fucking hell was it bad, one night before an exam
he kept me up till 5, needless to say it's my worse grade ever getting a solid 50ish
percent after around 3 hours of sleep. That night caused some drama because I was messaging
my ex who I thought I was friends with at the time (yeah friends never works with ex's)
saying about how pissed off I was that he was partying knowing I had an exam and that
he had the speakers against my wall. Well she started standing up for this piece of
shit stain which got me more mad especially since I had an exam and didn't want an argument
at this time. Therefore I gave it a pretty solid close off saying that I would not give
a shit if he wasn't still breathing and that he was a waste of oxygen. Pretty harsh
words I think I even said more than that. Well it got screenshotted and sent to the
cunt. That's what ex's do, in the end I gave a half assed apology to stop the awkwardness
in which I said to fred that It was just the heat of the moment etc it was mainly because
I needed him to drive me somewhere. Anyway that's fred. I'd like to end Year 2 of
uni flatmates with talking about his own perception. Fred thought he was the mum of the flat, now
I don't know how something you scrape off the bottom of your shoe can be a functional
mother to the flat but at the beginning he started to attempt to mother us and talk down
to us to try and put himself on a pedestal. If you want to be on a pedestal mate build
it yourself oh wait yeah you're a lazy cunt. I will never understand this guy I thought
I'd get more mad but I'm just generally telling the stories but fuck. Right on to
year 3/ my current year that I'm half way through.
Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls. Year 3 is here and it's all about the man. The
man that was the reason for me wiping my arse with toilet roll and starting this rant in
the first place. The man that gave me the strong decision to talk about people that
I still know and may watch this video. Literally you just type in my real name and my channel
comes up fuck knows why it kinda sucks. Anyway the man is from Nigeria and is therefore an
international student meaning he's here until January unless he gets a work visa in
the UK. The man despite supposedly having a normal social life and staying with others
for 3 other years at Uni is very dysfunctional. (3 years because he's finished his masters).
Anyway now you have the background of his character let's get into it. So I'm looking
for houses for the first ever year instead of student accommodation, I'm looking around
this house and I'm introduced to the man he says hello to my mother and her friend
and ignores me despite me saying hey. Noticeably even know I can say he definitely prefers
talking to girls and mostly ignores any males. I leave the house thinking it seems like a
good place and hey maybe I'll get myself a black best friend, yeah sorry one of my
mates who might watch you're Bangladeshi it doesn't count buddy. (rap battle clip).
Summer arrives (majoras mask dawn of the next day). Tom does not know of the mental retardation
that's going to hit him. Casually having a chat with my landlord he drops the bomb
that the man is indeed very religious and I believe is Christian. Yeah so the man listens
to choir boys every fucking day, he's also had hour long meetings with jehovas witnesses
in my lounge (yeah I thought we were meant to hide when they knocked at the door hmm
must just be me) and worst of all. Worst of fucking all this guy believes he heres the
voice of god or some shit. It's either that or he's possessed by the devil. This fucking
man constantly talks to himself, manically laughs at himself in the mirror, sings some
fucking stuff I don't understand it sort of sounds like Ouija board sounds crossed
with opera. He also constantly makes sounds that I guess would be associated with an injury
soundboard app which literally just sound like oooh, aghhh , ughhhh. The scaries bit
is that when he is in the bathroom by himself he will angrily shout and scream, then he
will walk out of that fucking bathroom as if nothing has happened. Props to the guy
for not being embarrassed but in my opinion it means something is probably lodged in his
brain maybe rolf harris and a fucking Ouija board. That'd drive me insane to the point
of screaming as well. Talking of the bathroom he doesn't understand what the fuck a shower
guard is for as he moves it away from the shower in order to submerge our whole bathroom
nothing worse than standing in cold murky water in your socks. So as I mentioned at
the very start of the video we had toilet wars fucking dreadful we often find little
poo blobs in the shower when he screams so potentially he's just shoving his hand up
his ass and pulling out mr hanky all by himself. Taking DIY to the next level. I suppose it's
easier for me to list his weird crazy shit going room by room. So I wanna say we're
done in the bathroom let's move on to every fucked up thing he's done in the kitchen.
Kitchen man likes his rice to the point where one of my friends secretly calls him rice
man. Rice man will constantly cook giant vats of rice and leave them cooking for several
hours, often he ends up burning it to shit. Recently he fell asleep and left it on to
burn overnight. Do you know what he fucking did to clean it. Oh the thing your supposed
to he took my pizza cutter and decided HMM to me this looks like some fucking pan scraper.
Used that. Broke it. Oh I see I'll put it back together broken and pretend it must have
broke some other way. Well I pick it up and it falls into about 4 pieces and I know exactly
who has done it. However good on him for eventually telling me and admitting it although he said
he was cleaning my pizza cutter not his burnt pan and that it apparently broke while he
was washing it. So let me get this straight he was washing my pizza cutter. My washing,
but…why? He shouldn't be using my stuff so why have the need to wash it and how the
fuck does a sponge break a study cutter in 4. If this guy stinks constantly as well how
can I believe he can use a sponge. So as I said he'd used my stuff but that's not
all he'd used remember our little jehovas friends. Well yeah he gave them all my cups
to have to drink. Not his own, mine. He uses my cutlery constantly and I have to wash it
up. He never got permission and seeing his slobber on my stuff is pretty off putting.
Oh you think that's it? Nope rice man also uses my frying pan. Therefore we bought a
new one and I said yeah mate you can use the old one. It lasts about 4 days and then he
decides lets use the new one other people paid for. Dumb fuck scrapes off half the non
stick eating directly from the frying pan with a metal spoon in his room. He also leaves
it overnight meaning my mate can't cook with it that night. Oh you think that's
it NOOOOOPE. On top of this riceman has ate all my yoghurts, used my red onions, stole
my tomatoes, drank directly from my milk jug. He also fills up my fridge shelves which we
all have one of, with his fucking 10 tubs of rice, chicken, his canned tomatoes, his
bottled water, his bananas, and a few other things. Mr Riceman canned tomatoes and bananas
shouldn't go in the fridge. Bananas go black in the fridge, canned tomatoes only need to
be in there if it's open. Oh yeah I forgot you were a dysfunctional arsehole. Fucking
hell this is quite the list, as you can tell by his items in the fridge he has tomato,
rice and chicken for all four in the day for him these meals take place at 5am, 3pm and
about 6pm and also midnight. Great Great times to eat. For a long time when cooking these
meals he would steam up the entire room because obviously he hadn't heard of extractor fans
or windows he had to be explicitly told several times. Look I don't like you eating my shit,
using my shit and almost setting the house on fire. I constantly see you looking through
my cupboards and a my shit in the fridge and if someone walks in you quickly close them
and pretend you're doing something else. I'm not fucking stupid mate, you are. You
cook your fucking food at 150 degrees with only the bottom oven selected, you let your
food heat up, then turn off the oven to go cold for an hour then eat cold food. Why not
cook it later and have it hot at your convenience. What's the 150 degrees about mate that only
enough to warm your fucking hands not cook chicken. Oh yeah and you fucking leave your
clothes in the washing machine when it's done for up to two days. Can you just not
realise in that tiny peanut brain that everything you fucking do is annoying, retarded or at
least extremely questionable. You know he walks through the house in just his boxers,
even his chest hair looks retarded it looks like cake crumbs not hair it's fucking weird.
Let's move on to the final room we will talk about the lounge. One of the many rooms
he does his chanting and talking to himself which is at the bottom of the stairs, my room
is upstairs I have to go passed the mentally unstable guy that shouts to himself everytime
I want a drink, a shit, or to go out the house. He's always in the fucking house. I had
a big group of friends that came over and we all went upstairs because mr crazy was
sat in the lounge. He sits in there watching day time tv and the news, he constantly leaves
the room for hours with the fucking tv playing. Yeah he blasts that motherfucker super loud
right below my room. When evaluating this rant/story I sort of
aimed for it to be angrier but I've enjoyed telling the story. For anyone going to university,
make your friends and make sure you have enough to fill up a house don't keep taking one
friend and getting new people each time like I have. Yeah you meet new people but half
of them are fucking screbby, mentally retarded psychopaths. Don't let it put you off uni
it's just one day you might have mr riceman come into your room with a machete while playing
choir boy music and switching between giggling and shouting at himself. I think I'd say
whilst my current anger is with riceman I'd say 2nd year of uni was the worst because
it escalated so far. If you're still watching this video congratulations your sane and haven't
gone "but I do that stuff Tom mentioned" and "fuck this shit he's insulting me".
Anyway let's wrap this up so I hope you enjoyed this video, I did have more videos
planned but I don't think I'm going to get a chance
to record before Uni if you're lucky I may get another one out. I will be back in may
time if that's the case. Anyway you don't want to miss videos when they do come out
so make sure to like, share, subscribe and click that notification bell so you're notified
of every video
I put up. Youtube hates us all and wants us all to fail unless we're a kids toy channel.
Adios Amigos!
For more infomation >> Nerf War: GUN BABY CHRISTMAS! - Duration: 7:41. 
For more infomation >> Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Frank Sinatra Piano Cover | Lara Luu (lyrics) - Duration: 4:10. 
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