whatever people do they all he has to
always have a reason they may not be
aware of the reason consciously but
there's always a reason if someone tries
to commit suicide there's a reason if
someone tries to hurt someone else
there's a reason if someone is willing
to work 18-hour days there's a reason if
someone doesn't want to work there's a
reason here's the good news
having dealt with literally tens of
millions of people from hundreds of
countries or more than a hundred
countries to be accurate
I could be an idiot this point I have to
see there are patterns there are
patterns that will make you angry and
patterns it'll make you sad there
patterns will excite you that patterns
will make you grateful the patterns will
make you completely worried all the time
they're padding's that will make you
feel so absolutely certain you can run
through an effing wall once you know
what the patterns are you can get rid of
the ones that don't work and adopt some
ones that do more often and that's good
part of what we're gonna do the next few
day is to give you perspective but the
most important I don't understand is why
people do what they do so as I told you
I've had a unique gift I've had the
chance to travel the world at this stage
of life where literally the world is
available all of us in a few hours but
what I want you understand is everybody
has a reason for what they do but the
good news is there's only six reasons
there are lots of different stories but
I can tell you by experiencing around
the world there's only six reasons and
those six reasons are called the six
human needs and I'm going to walk you
through these and I need you to manage
your state for the next few minutes
because we're going to go a little
deeper on content but we're going to do
it only so in the future for the next
three days and somebody stands up you're
going to look at them you're going to go
what's driving them and I'm going to ask
you which of these needs are driving
them because once you know what drives
somebody you know how to meet their
needs or you can predict their behavior
and see whether or not they're the right
corporate match personal match intimate
match because you have to understand so
what are these six needs they are not
goals they are not desires if you travel
with me around the world you'll see
every culture of different goals
everybody has different desires but we
all the same needs
what are they number one is the need for
certainty certainty now what the hell is
certainty certainty is a survival need
we all need to feel certain that we can
avoid paying and that ideally we can
have some comfort
why because continuous pain would mean
continuous damage continuous damage
eventually means death so the need for
certainty is built into every human
being and I'm going to show you now in
the next few minutes if you stay with me
and I really need to do so make sure you
stay sit up in your chair and focus on
this area because after this we're going
to kick in gear again but right now
you've got to take this in it'll be so
valuable not just for this weekend
before your life all human beings have
the same six needs so why do we behave
differently because the only thing
different in people is two things we all
have the same six needs but we don't
value them equally
some people certainty is the number one
thing they value if they're certainly
driven and you try to change anything
they freak out they get fearful or they
can angry or they get pissed off because
what matters most of them is keeping
things the same way where they feel like
they're in control
raise your hand if you fall that's an
example some people they value love much
more than certainty some people value
certainty more than love so even though
they love you if they don't feel certain
they won't open completely just as one
example so the difference in people
we'll all the same six needs the
difference is which of the top two you
value most out of these six because
these top two determine your direction
in life and direction and you keep
moving in direction it leads you to an
ultimate destination or destiny so we
want to understand what your top two
needs are and same thing with other
people this weekend when somebody stands
up often I'll say what's driving in
right now and I want you to see within a
very short time eight thousand people
from 44 countries will all be saying the
same thing it'll be that obvious to you
you'll be a practical psychologist that
time we're done here so now if we know
what these needs are and person values
and differently we also have to find out
two people could have the same need but
they have a different belief about what
it takes to be loved or a different need
about what it takes to be certain some
people to assert need $10,000,000,000
something there's a certain just need to
pray to God somebody a certain need to
feel
like f3c the perfect children and
they're there every day some people that
feel certain feel certain because I've
always figured it out I don't know
what's going to happen but I know I'll
figure it out because I always have you
can get certainly from your past you get
certainty from God you get certainty by
working out intensely you get certainty
by eating food too much food especially
will put comfort in your body if you
overeat all the blood goes in your
stomach you start breathing again so we
all need certainty the only question is
it number one two three four or five or
six on your list and the second question
is what does your brain say has to
happen to be certain
some people have certainly it's
impossible to meet the young lady over
here who was sitting in the chair before
we intervened how to blueprint that's
never going to be met
it's literally would make her unhappy
regularly so we got to know what needs
you're after and what's your blueprint
how many got a ceiling at least when I'm
explaining you right now it make some
sense to you say I can awesome
so the first need is certainty how can
we meet our need for certainty we can do
it ways there positive neutral or
negative I can get certainty in a
heartbeat if all I want to do is get
really pissed off and freaked out about
something when you get angry do you get
certain yes or no you better believe it
so some people get angry all the time
because it's their way to get certainty
in a life that's uncertain it is all
kinds of negative side effects but it
works in the moment so listen to me now
most people meet their needs in a way
that works in the moment but not
long-term so they feel good for a short
time like a sugar high and then they
drop emotional and they got to do it
again whether its food or smoking or
drinking or whatever it is so you can
meet your needs in positive ways
neutralize your negative ways so if I
came along here and I said which
enhancer case case I want to make a deal
with you how much do you weigh 246 we're
going to weigh you in five minutes
he says he weighs 246 if you're within
that range I'm fine here's my deal I
will give you I'm going to put 50
million dollars u.s. cash tonight into
an escrow account for you they're going
to weigh you if you lose 50 pounds
tomorrow morning by 8:30
M you will receive that 50 million
otherwise they get it back can you do it
yes or no no sure you can take off a leg
take it on we can get you out there
there's no question chase is the goal
obtainable yes or no is it achievable is
it attainable yes or no but it's not
sustainable and that's how most people
meet their needs they use a drug or
alcohol or food or cigarettes or
something to get comfortable to get
certainty back but the problem is that
side effects long-term works in the
short-term doesn't go long-term you know
if you follow say I so you could get
certainty by overeating or smoking or
drinking what happens you smoke a
cigarette take a deep breath in you blow
it out nice and long and slow full
exhale when most of you are stressed how
many of noticed that you either stop
breathing or you breathe really shallow
how many of noticed this in the past so
you smoke a cigarette and the moment it
meets your need for comfort and
certainties killing you but it works
short-term that's how most people live
their life you can get certainty by
working out if you go on a run really
intensely or you go lift weights and you
push yourself and all that blood starts
pulsing through you do you feel certain
yes or no and what's the downside zero
so there are ways to meet your needs
that are empowering neutral or
disempowering the parts of our life we
don't like our problems why would we
keep a problem we're all capable of
solving it why would we keep a problem
the only reason you have a problem
that's stuck around is because it meets
some of your needs not all of them or
you would want to get rid of it but
enough of them that makes it hard to
give up it's kind of like who's ever
been in a relationship way too long let
me see your hats and how many knew what
was wrong while you were there let me
see your hands
so why the F did you stay there because
of the uncertainty because well you know
I you know I'm not thoroughly happy I'm
kind of unhappy but I might be worse if
I was totally alone what if this is the
best one I'm ever going to get and I
screwed it up but what happened was most
of you have that feeling talk to
yourself back down into the relationship
multiple times until one
dare you in a threshold we are brain
when it was painful in the past and
people in the profit give me people to
pitch right out of here who's done this
before say I so there is a threshold
that we can find and if we find that
threshold we can break through it pretty
damn easily we can shift we can get to
where we really want to go so what I
want you to get is of these six needs we
all find a way to meet them
the only difference again is which are
your top two out of the six and I've
told you certainty so far and what are
your beliefs or rules or what's your
blueprint on how to get that her
blueprint was make please everybody
which is impossible so won't work rate
you have to follow okay so let's take a
look what's the second unit well first
of all you can get certainly in so many
ways
you get certainty by praying to God you
can get certainty by doing a ritual the
same way every time you can get
certainty by lowering your expectations
saying nothing ever works nothing ever
will everybody screws things up you'll
lose your dream but you'll gain your
need
by the way jot this down people will
give up their goals and dreams to meet
their needs people will give up their
goals and dreams they'll even give up
their own values to meet their needs
I'll give you an example how many of you
in this room can see yourself to be an
honest person very honest person raise
your hand if you consider yourself to be
very honest raise your hand nice and
high
okay drop your hand raise your hand if
you lie I'm just your chance if you'll I
can explain it to me later here's how it
works see in your mind you know who you
are
why would someone lie who values honesty
no one told you to be honest you want to
be honest because if you think being
honest is going to cost you one of your
needs like love or certainty you lie you
call it a white lie which a lot you know
is going to talk about now there's some
people that never lie because they value
certainty of always telling the truth so
much I have to do with their rules of
their belief structures this make sense
so tell me something you can meet the
need for certainty so many ways right so
here's the question you can go ahead
here's the question what if you were
certain every moment of your life what
was going to happen before it happened
what if you knew what people are going
to say before they're going to say what
if you could feel what they're going to
feel what if you could what if you knew
every moment before it happened what
people are going to say and do in the
beginning that would feel really
exciting but after a while if you know
what's going to happen when it's gonna
happen how it's going to happen tell me
what you're going to feel after a while
what do you start to be able to tell me
what bored out of your mind that's why
God in her infinite wisdom gave us a
second human need and that second human
need is uncertainty we have a need for
uncertainty we have a need for surprise
we have a need for variety in fact
what's the phrase variety is the word of
life spice of life now how many of you
in this room raise your hand how many of
you in this room love surprises ratio if
you love them say I both you love the
surprises you want the surprises you
don't want you don't want you call them
problems don't you so don't tell me you
like surprise if you like the surprise
as you want here's my point
can you meet more than one need with the
same action or emotion or belief system
yes or no write this down any time any
time your mind any time your mind
perceives that doing something anytime
your mind perceives that doing something
believing something or feeling something
meets at least three of your needs so
any time your mind perceives that doing
something feeling something or believing
something needs at least three of your
needs then you'll become addicted to
that thought that feeling that emotion
or that action you can be positively
addicted or negatively addicted but
you're going to be addicted any time
your brain perceives that something you
believe do or feel meets three of your
needs you'll get addicted to it now I'm
going to show you why this is important
let's look at two needs for a second is
it possible to meet your need for
certainty and uncertainty simultaneously
even though they're opposite needs yes
or no I give an example who here has
ever rented a movie that you've already
seen let me see your hands get a life
now I've done it - why would read a
movie we've already seen we ran it why
because we've seen it before so we're
certain it's good and we're hoping it's
been so long we forgot enough it'll be
variety we watch it again who knows what
I'm talking about here say I so you can
meet both me but if you meet three needs
you'll become addicted to that behavior
whether it's a good behavior a bad
behavior doesn't matter it'll be a
positive Internet addiction but you'll
be addicted so let me give you how do
you get variety you get variety in
positive ways negative waves your
neutral ways you get variety by learning
growing taking on a new goal a new
challenge you give riding through a
conversation with a friend
you get variety by praying to God
there's so many ways to get variety
aren't there but you can also get
variety and negative ways you can smoke
a joint and maybe that's not a negative
way but it sure will change your state
but inside effects right during that
time you're not going to function maybe
at the same peak or understanding or
some people use other things cigarettes
alcohol anything there's so many ways to
get variety the question is are your
ways positive neutral negative or
empowering how many follow because we
all have ways of getting that variety
that uncertainty so here's what I want
to do
third human need is significance the
need to feel unique the need to feel
special yes I hope that picture makes
you feel special okay you need to feel
unique special important who has the
need to be needed to feel special unique
important who do you think has that need
who has it tell me you what about people
say I don't want to be special do they
still want to be special yes or no you
bet your ass they do house protest too
much now they don't want to be so
special that you attack them they might
want to stay undercover so to speak but
they still want to feel special they
want to feel unique they want to feel
needed they want to feel important so
there are lots of ways to feel special
you can do it by working your ass off
taking huge risks and achieving
something to feel special or you can
tear down everybody else that's trying
to build something because there's two
ways to have the tallest building in
town one is work your ass off take risks
build the tallest building the other one
is blow up everybody else's building and
by the way which one's faster which
one's easier which takes less
intelligence and less money tearing shit
down happens faster so that's why we've
always had violence and we always will
unless there's a consciousness change if
I live in a tough part of the community
I'm in the hood and you can walk through
my community and you don't notice me and
I feel insignificant I might take things
into my own hands to feel significant if
all of a sudden I put a gun to your head
tell me on a 0 to 10 scale how certain
am i you're going to respond to me now
when I put that gun to your head 0 to 10
10 is absolute zero is not at all where
would you put it quick you know a
hundred it's a true but also when I put
my gun to your head how significant am I
to you in your life even if you didn't
know me a minute ago if I got a gun in
your head how significant on my zero to
ten hundred I'm the most significant
thing in your life in a moment ago you
didn't know existed and I don't need any
intelligence on any background the
education all I needs a gun and the will
to do it oh by the way just in case
there's not enough there to be an
addiction when I put that gun to your
head every time that happens it's going
to be a different game I know you're
going to respond to me I know I'm
significant but what you're going to say
and do is different so I get variety so
you made three needs but violence
doesn't end then because the force you
need is connection and love and most
people are too afraid to love because
they've loved and been disappointed or
they've loved and then lost the love it
was so painful that now they settle for
the crumbs of connection because that's
safer so it's a form of the need but a
low level to me but it's still part of
the need we got a meeting so if you're
going for connection and love if I cup
my gun to his head on a zero to ten I'm
a ten of certainty
I'm a 10 of significant to him I'm gonna
have a ton of variety but are we also
connected in a sick way but deeply
connected in this moment yes enough
on a zero to 10 how much connection is
there between our lives at this moment
with the gun there 100 how many
followers say I so violence meets for
the human needs and that's why we've
always had it that's why Isis exists
that's why people do the stupid things
they do as they do it to try to meet
their needs the biggest cause of
violence so if you'll notice is 95% of
time when it's a terrorist it's a male
why is that because in the human nervous
system if you're masculine testosterone
is probably large in you with your man
or woman if you're more masculine you
got a lot of testosterone testosterone
is about dominance it's about
significance it's about domination and
the higher that is the more they want if
they look at their life and they're not
dominating and they get really
frustrated they'll do a final act men
will die for significance women will die
for love now some men will die for love
too so you know but biochemically a
female is wired to be able to nurture
and to support human beings we wouldn't
exist if it wasn't for everyone in this
room because we all came through one and
we wouldn't exist there's no man that
can make this happen but the women have
and the reason is because they have that
connecting power as their strength now
can any man become more love driven yes
can any woman be more significant driven
yes but our biochemistry leads us that
way which is why a terrorist will come
up and do what they're doing and kill
someone because all they get it about is
domination is that I'm significant and
they want certainty in a world where
they feel uncertain and they want
variety in life that is incredibly
boring in the middle of a desert where
there's nothing and no one's working
where you got 30 percent of population
unemployed what I'm going to do work at
McDonald's or go kill people kill people
feels more exciting right now how many
follow what I'm talking about here say I
now can you get significance in positive
ways of course you can be significantly
more generous than anyone else and that
generosity gives you a sense of
significance because you know you're
really a giver you're not trading you're
not exchanging you really are giving and
it makes you feel full it makes you feel
significant as you know the truth no
matter what you tell people verbally you
no it's your inside and no one can mess
with that you can get significance by
the way you dress you can have
significance by having more tattoos and
earrings and more locations than any of
us want to know but the bottom line is
there's a mint you can know more about
box scores and sports to be significant
everyone finds a way to be significant
most people find a way to be significant
by having a significant problem why
because if I'm really successful you
might like me for a while but after a
while most people get annoyed with
someone who's always happy and
successful easy for you who knows what
I'm talking about here is your head
right but if you got big-ass problems
who's going to be upset with you you're
not competing with them so if you'd
probably go I understand but if you're
doing really well it's like easy for you
so most of us unconsciously learn to
create big problems as a way to connect
because it's the safest way to connect
and not be rejected some of you do it
like she does by trying to please
everybody all the time
thinking if I pleased you enough then
you'll come to me you'll give me what
I'm really wanting to which is what she
wants but it doesn't work that way it
works sometimes but not all the time and
not even the majority of the time tell
me follow your say I so we have what
needs so far number one is nice and loud
number one is certainty certainly you
can be comfortable you can avoid pain
you can survive you can be comfortable
second you may use the need for
uncertainty also need for variety or
surprise what's the third human need the
need for to feel unique to feel special
to feel important who has that need who
has that need everyone and the fourth
need is need for connection and most
people settle for connection because
love is too scary because they love it
was so wonderful and it went away and
they don't want that pain anymore so
they want love but they settle for
connection so if you can't get love or
connection anywhere else buy a dog don't
get a cat there and dependent get a dog
is it true
you could be the dumbass owner you
cannot even feed them you can leave for
five hours usually for five minutes and
it's like you've been gone for six
months
so excited right so anyone can feel
connection in love you can do with your
prayers you can do it too good gifts you
can do it by dressing special you can do
it by having big problems the only
question in life is not whether you're
going to meet your needs the only
question is how and is it attainable or
sustainable is it empowering neutral or
negative and if you want to change your
life will power never laughs but when
something needs more of your needs it's
effortless if you want to know what the
biggest addiction is in our culture it's
not alcohol it's not some prescription
drug it's not an illicit drug it's
problems because problems allow us to
try to deal with our deepest fear that
we're not enough and we won't be loved
by saying it's not me it's this problem
it's just I have ADHD it's just that
I've been through this it's just so most
people meet their needs through problems
unfortunately they don't meet their
deepest needs because up until now we
describe the first four needs which are
the basic needs of your personality but
what both of everyone by the way finds a
way to meet these first four needs even
if to lie to yourself if you got to work
20 hour days you will find a way to meet
your need for certainty uncertainty
significance even assists you have birth
problems anybody else connection to
yourself you will find a way
but the final two needs are the needs
that create fulfilment and they are the
spiritual needs not religious but
spiritual the fifth human need is growth
you've already said it we grow all we
want there is no way around it if your
business isn't growing it's dying if
your relationship isn't growing it's
dying there are no plateaus in this life
whose whipping your say I so growth is
life and if you want a one-word key to
happiness I'll give it to you right now
because it's real obvious having worked
with millions of evil progress equals
happiness if you're not even where you
want to be you're still overweight
you're still financially struggling
you're still not where you want to be in
your career but you start working out
you mean wants the weight yet but you
start feeling better you start making
progress or
you start to change that business still
not there yet but you're making progress
or change that relationship or change
your body or change your health anytime
you start making progress your happiness
will go through the roof anytime you
achieve things and you don't set up
something new to go for quickly you'll
lose momentum and in a short time you
won't be so happy because the loss
familiarity will come in and this thing
that once with this big dream will now
just be something that you're used to so
the purpose of a goal is not to get the
goal the purpose of a goal is who we
become to achieve it what you get will
never make you happy who you become will
make you very happy or very sad to think
upon how you approach it and what you do
with your life so our approach here is
we want to grow and then the six human
need is the need for contribution the
need to step out of ourselves see how
many of you in this room when something
great happens how many of you can help
yourself you immediately want to share
that with somebody you love how many
immediately that's your first thought
say aye why because you can only feel so
much yourself I don't care if it's sex
drugs rock and roll whatever it is
there's only so much pleasure you can
encourage that concert with someone you
want to share that experience with
someone because by sharing it becomes
more it's more than just you growth and
contribution our fifth and six needs
they are spiritual needs they are the
needs to fulfill us everybody finds a
way to feel somewhat certain some
variety some significance you have to go
tear people down some connection but
very few people grow continuously and
contribute continuously which is where
all the joy is how many follow here say
I so we're going to make a couple
distinctions but first of all can you
meet somebody in a few minutes start to
pick up which needs might be driving the
most yes or no yes or no of course you
can
in fact I'll give an example I was
flying I don't notice five six seven
years ago I was flying the small plane
across the country and I was being the
pilot and I landed it in Kansas City and
I landed Ken's excuse me I'm in Kansas
and I'm in this little Airport in Kansas
and I get out of the plane and this
young man comes running out and he's
like sewn through
meowstic and so just such a sweet good
soul you know you just meet guy great
hit off this kid and he says what can I
do for you I told him I'm just flying
through it's need to refuel because how
much do you need I said just fill her up
because no problem I leave as I leave
him come around the plane to walk up the
steps to go into the FBO the fix base
operation where I'm stopping for the
moment I'm gonna go up using the
facilities and there's a young girl
sitting on the stairs here and she looks
really intense
she's gothic you know that goth makeup
she's got I don't know the exact number
but like 15 earrings on one here one
through the nose really intense looking
little character so I noticed her on the
way in and as I walk up the steps I walk
but you know by her go inside and when I
came back out the steps are really wide
so I sat on the step just beside her
she's like one person away and she looks
at me goes what do you want I said were
you on she's nothing I said nothing and
we just sat there she's like you know in
her space
and I said actually there is something
I'd like to know I said you don't have
to tell me but I'm gonna leave here in a
few minutes you're never gonna meet me
again sent your boyfriend out there she
goes Wolfe sorta like she wants him to
be right it's not nice I said he seems
like a really really nice kid he's not
nice he's strong she tells me I see okay
well I think he's strong in nice yeah
well maybe he is I said you know I'm
gonna leave in a couple minutes but I'm
just curious I said how old are you
she goes what does it matter I said it
doesn't I'm about to leave so want to
tell me she said I'm 13 and I about fell
over I'm in this girl
I mean 17 be the youngest I put her
totally made me a makeup made up in
every detail right so I'm like wow she
goes are you surprised and said yeah I'm
really surprised she goes did you think
I was older I said yeah I said and that
kind of saddened me a little bit to you
she said what I don't know I said I'm
curious I'm gonna leave here a few
minutes because you're curious about a
lot of things so I am I said how come
and I'm making up the number of made in
13 but it was more than twelve how many
outcomes 13 or 15 earrings and she says
to me because everybody else has 5 now
if I don't tell you anything else about
this young lady what would you say is
the number-one need to striving her at
this stage of her life right now nice
and loud go
which one nice allowed how many said
significance raise your hand absolutely
right you can see it easily but people
are driven by more than one thing and as
I'm watching her in this really tough
house approach and thinking about how
she's adapted to be unique insignificant
I looked down and I see she has a
keychain and it's a teacher keychain you
know Tigger the Disney character we need
the two Tigger and I go cool keychain
and she goes yeah and also nice all
little girl there for a second and I
said Tigger I said where'd you get that
she goes well my dad got it for me and
she all of a sudden there's a 13 year
old girl there it's totally amazing and
I said really she goes yeah I really
love taker I even have kicker curtains
and I have a Tigger sheets I'm it's
embarrassing but I love Tigger so tell
me something this moment's need she
needs her need for significance by doing
what being gothic being different than
everybody else
15 earrings tough-ass makeup but you
still a little girl is just another need
called certainty and comfort and where's
you get that Tigger and her dad and you
can see it right there in front of it
after this weekend you will never see
the world the same way if you stay awake
instead of seeing people's behaviors
you're going to see their attempts to
meet their needs and when people do
stupid things
you're just starving to meet their needs
and they're finding something that isn't
very effective or it's effective
short-term but hurt some long-term and
because you've done this you can have
compassion how many of you have
something on the list more than one
where you're doing dumbass things to
meet some of your needs and even though
it doesn't meet all your needs and meet
some of them and so you keep doing it
let me see your hands here say I so we
want to shift that
the Tony Robbins podcast is directed by
Tony Robbins and hosted by a New York
Kerry song is our executive producer
Tanner Culbertson is our associate
producer Jamie Carvajal and Adriel
dealer today are digital editors special
thanks to Diane Adcock and Mary Buchheit
for their creative review copyright
Robins research international
you
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