My kids go to public school [in] New York City, and they alright
Send your kids there then
That's good. It's good teach them that that's what life is like
The teachers amazed me [because] I don't know this the worst is the worst thing about this country to me
Is that there's there's no more noble profession than to be a public school teacher. It's easily
Please please don't you're not gonna like it. [you're]
[not] going to like where it's going I
Don't recommend clapping in anything
You'll regret it at the end of the thing
In a democracy, there's no more noble
Contribution you can make than to teach in a [public] school and in this country the [people] that do that. They're fucking losers
They're just rock bottom fucking loser
And everybody knows it, [but] they keep doing it
New people are teaching every day knowing. How shitty it is they show up. They tell them ahead of time
Hi, what is this job? And they say okay? Here's what we need to do
We need you to make children know
math
Wow
Do they want to know math no they don't want to know it you
[need] to make them know it against their will
While they're exploding sexually and beating the shit out of each other
Who are these children just whatever kids live near the building?
How much do I get paid about $10 every four years?
Would if I get really good at it? What happened nothing nothing happens nobody notices and you get fired and you die alone?
Okay, I'll try it for 25 years
sales in an email fight recently
You're been in an email. Fight some of you're in an email fight right now
You know the email fight that it text fight text fight is like fuck you
Fuck you here
dick yep at [Hall] fear
at the text bite
An email fight is like in june when I [told] you that I had this issue. I was very disappointed
In the [way], it didn't listen
you know those emails you just work on an all night like it's the closing argument to a murder case, so
important your fucking email
you're pounding it out like beethoven, and you're pouring water in your head and going deaf and
Still working on it
And then you send it to somebody can you read this and tell me if it's fair what I wrote
Start at the bottom
And they write back. I made a few changes. Oh, thank you that really captures my voice and yet
Then you send to somebody else. [they're] like I would take out each hit fuckface because it clouds your better points
And you're like nest fuck you. I'm going to keep it
and
Then finally you send it
home
And you're like hmM
Then you feel really good. I finally set it
Finally, and you have this fantasy that they're at home reading it right now going
I'm wrong about all of the things
And at some point [during] the day. They haven't written back yet, because and you know it's because you just bewitched them
And you decided I'm going to read my email
I'm going to read the email that I wrote
Is there any more disgusting modern human behavior?
Then reading your own already sent emails
Is there any more scratching your asshole smelling your finger than says that I?
Do it all the [time] so that's what I did. I was in an email fight and
And I looked in the sent folder where it's all that's [int]. It's in stone
You can't change that anymore, and I realized I left something in there by mistake
I left something at the top of the email, but I said
This is my latest draft. What do you think?
So now the rest of it is just shit. It's shit now
Because she knows I have a writing staff and a focus group
There should be credit at the end of this fucking email
approved by mother and sister
Like his there they wanted a dog so I got him a dog I got my dog this year which was a mistake
I shouldn't have Gotten the dog
Because we got first we rescued a dog we got [a] we adopt yes, you must write. Yes always rescue
If you're getting all get a rescue dog, don't get a puppy
From those horrible people who professionally raise dogs carefully?
No
You need to just get a mystery dog
that's been beaten and abused and
Traumatized of the streets of Puerto Rico and can't talk about it to anyone now
They never know you don't think about the dog she's afraid of pennies
So we think maybe somebody's been throwing handfuls of pennies at her face?
But otherwise now
so you take this random dog and just put it in your house with your [family] [and]
Watch their personality unfold
This dog is insane. I'll walk into the kitchen and the dogs are standing there alone like this
Like you [alright]. Are you [alright]?
My kids are terrified of the dog
My daughter goes to pet a dog dog goes like this
She's like should I you pet her I don't think you should [ever] pet her dog, honey
So I took her to the vet [I] took the dog to the vet to ask her what to do and the vet said listen
I think there's something you should seriously consider I
Was like please be saying to kill this dog. Please be a doctor that says the dog dies now
She didn't she said she said I think [you] should consider prozac
For the dog. I was like really
She said yeah, it works calms the dog right down, but it's a big decision and you should think about it
I said put four in her asshole right now
Why do I have to see step out? I'm gonna shit what she's experiencing fucking fix it
Give her heroin shoot her up
Come on puppy
It's why your dog is really chill. Yeah, well [they] [cost] $4 a day [to] keep her like that I
Didn't always feel this way I used to I used to love animals [I] used to worry about animals just animals
When I was like 20 are all the doggies okay, everywhere, I?
certainly hope so
But I'm 49 and I got two kids now that you don't have your circle of concern
tightens [I]
Have four nephews. I don't love any of them
fuck a dog
You know those ads like [the] pSA on television about abused animals they show your dog with like an empty socket, and he's like oh
They're always wet very they hose them down before they film them. [oh]
And the voice comes out look at these dogs these dogs are beaten every day
Please send us money. So that this can stop
Are you beating up the dogs?
How's my money fixing that?
my daughter is learning about Greek Mythology [and]
She's asking me questions about it. She was like Daddy. Who's achilles his mother. I said, I'm fucking [Nolan] ask me that shit [I]
Don't know who achilles his mothers. Don't yell it out if you know it, please it can't be [empathise]. Nobody cares what you know?
She had a question about achilles, and it was an interesting question and I'll tell it to you
But first the story of achilles real quick achilles was a baby. It was a greek
baby, and
He didn't stay that way, but when he was a greek baby his mother who was a goddess
[took] him into the river styx
which is at hades the land of the dead and she dipped him in the water of the river styx because there was a
Magical quality to that water that you it would make you impervious of any harm
You couldn't be hurt like a shield right, so she dipped him in that water to protect him
But [she] held [him] by the heel
That's the important detail held him by the heel, which is an awkward way to hold a baby
By the he'll try holding a baby by the heel and dipping it in a river
You will never see that baby again
That's how to get rid of a baby I
Lose the baby in the water. I was trying [to] watch him in e felony the river
Time its achilles. I love your baby. You tell me a lot about a hill he sleep
The kill Eases mothers in Mexican Nanny some lesser-known character in Iliad anyway
His mother she was able to hold on of course because she was a goddess
she [was] the goddess of grip or whatever I don't know and
she held on and
Then he was protected except on his heel his heel [was] not protected and so that's what we call your achilles heel your one
Vulnerable place everybody's got their achilles heel
Achilles is achilles heel was
His heel
like literally
Anyway, so if my daughter here was her question she said how come his mother didn't just give him again
She could have just dipped him one more time
With the other leg in there
Which is she just like it you're right there
Those are like a sinuses one dipper goddess
Is ever color an easter egg? It's not that complicated you dip it and then you hold it differently and dip it again
Smart kid I was proud of her, but at the same time. I thought would have fuck are you to judge this woman?
It bothered me
Because here's what the story of achilles teaches me. Is that if you're a parent? It's never enough what you do for these motherfuckers
It's just never enough
[it's] still going to be your fault
Much more do you want from a mother she dipped her kid in Magic water and protected?
99% of his body is any of it up to him
He could have just wore a big shoe and be careful
But he goes out in sandal fucking [flip-flops]
Run achilles my love didn't give my seal she's so stupid. She ruined did
Fuck you achilles. You Greek Dick. [I]?
hate the way people talk about their mothers [I]
Was watching a football game one time and his guys scored a bunch of shit, whatever and they were excited
So they asked him about it afterwards and [a] football [player] said my mom died last year
But I know she was watching my game from Heaven tonight
And I wanted to be there to say leave your mother alone
[how] dare you she's dead?
[I] mean, when are you done with your fucking kids?
When are you finished with [your] fucking hip?
Even after you're dead you still have to go to their fucking games and shit
Leave your mother alone. She did her [job]. She raised you and it killed her [I]
Mean let her enjoy heaven don't you want your mother to enjoy heaven?
Isn't [that] what you want your mom to be just in heaven [away]?
This poor woman the angels like we're having an angel party you want to come [with] I?
Can't I gotta [watch] my son's game I?
was very upset
Okay, good. You can't fucking hear me. What am I doing us I?
Just say what people die
It means they did their jobs, and you should forget them
That's what I think because it's unfair what we put on dead people. Are you watching over me?
Yes, I'm watching all of it
You know like at all when you see an old couple and they've been married for like 60 years
You know that kind of story everybody always loves that the kind of people are always get applause based on the [mass] of their lives
How long you been married 6000?
Isn't that automatically wonderful?
and you know
you just know how long it's been [for]
60 years every morning he tells me. I'm a piece of shit
But let's just say this is the happy couple okay?
They love each other they've been married for 60 years
That's longer than most people really want to be alive, and they've been together
that long and now they're just an old couple and they just walk together you know and you see two people and
It's kind of lovely. They don't need anybody else. It's just two of them. This is both of them. They just walk, right
[back]
And then one day usually he dies first, they're walking and he goes
And he dies
So now it's just her
Just Rose
and
She's alone
Now she just stands in their house
once in a while somebody goes to get Rose because there's a wedding come on Rose [-]
Nadine is getting married you [maybe] that matters is fucking come on
Come on fucker. Come on. Fuck just want to push her from book
she lies stealing ten more years ten years after Richard dies and
And then ten years later now. She's laying in a bed. She's dying
Somebody's there with her on their phone
and
So Rosa's dying and she says well
At least now I get to be with my rigid
forever
Well, where'd she get that idea?
What if where'd that come from?
I've looked it up
No religion teaches that when you die you get to ruin heaven for your dead spouse
Why is that fair who kissed?
Bridgers been dead for ten years. He's been in heaven for ten years and somebody comes up to him. Hey your wife is coming
What?
Excuse me. What did you just walk up and say to me? Just [now]?
Yeah, Rose has died. She'll be here in about 20 minutes
They just got a hose her down and tape the wings on and then you're gonna be together forever
Wait a minute
You said this was heaven. [why] is this I?
Have a girlfriend here now. I don't want to fucking
She's love of your life. She's not the love of my death motherfucker
That's marriage marriage is a big deal. There's a big deal. [I] went to a wedding the other day
I went to a gay wedding I've been to a lot of gay weddings. Which is not true
Not true at all, but I did go [to] one
But uh I don't go to weddings generally because I don't like them. I hate it. Don't invite me really
I think it's rude [to] invite people to your wedding. I really do
Nobody's happy to get that shit
You make it all pretty and they're like. Oh wow
This is Gonna suck
Here's a helpful list of places to [celebrate] I get to live in a look quinta
in Reading, Pennsylvania
for three days
Because you want to get married for a [couple] of years?
Nobody wants to watch you start your shitty thing nobody wants to see it
Everybody's an issue. Anything is with it. That's what it is to be with somebody
you're either alone, or you're in a shitty thing that covers [a] hundred percent of human beings I
Know that I can see [these] young [couples] here, and you're like no, we're in a good one
It's really good. Yeah, fuck you who you think you are?
It just didn't get shitty yet
So arrogant yeah, I think we figured it out [nun]. Yeah, you're the first one
Of course is going to get shitty that's part of it
Like well, it's like oh no horror movie and in the first minute. You're like. I think they're all going to be fine
No, they're all going to die
And you're going to hate the person you love right now the way it works
Plus time - distance equals hate that's just the way to go
I'm not saying don't do it. You should do it
It's the best thing it's the best part of life. Love is but don't be greedy and expect it to last
Don't be amazed that a butterfly died because you shot it in the face
Just fall in love make a [fucking] mess
It goes shitty you don't realize until too late then you cry a lot move on it's the best part of life
It is I've always loved love. I've always loved as well as been my favorite part of life is meeting somebody and going oh
shit that
Person that's the best feel that why the fuck with [that] just oh yeah for years for our whole lives [all]
Yeah
[that's] insane to expect that
It's a little thing you get to catch and then dropped and died. It's just the way it goes
it's like if you see a person in the park making bubbles with a big wand you know with Soap and
Sometimes they make a really big one goes oh hey. Hey shit, okay? That's all
You don't stand a liar you don't get mad it's a soap stain
It gets so shitty man it does oh
I
Like life though, I do you know how much I like life. I have never killed myself
That's how much I like it. That's exactly how much I like it with a razor thin Margin I
like it precisely enough to
Not kill myself. It's an option though. It's totally an option
I'm out 49. I have two kids. I flip through the brochure a few times
[I've] [got] to kill myself just to win an argument
You're not supposed to talk about suicide even to your shrink here
We go to a shrink and they're like have you had thoughts of suicide, and you're like no because if I say yes
You'll press the button and folks will run it in [to] homie call them down
But you should be able to talk about it
It's the whole that's what if the whole world is just made of people who didn't kill themselves today
That's who's here is all of us that went out of town. [you] could keep doing it
it's
Because it's been it's an interesting thing about life life can get very difficult very sad very upsetting but you don't have to do it
You really [don't] have to do it. You don't have to do anything
You never have to do anything because you can kill yourself
If they send you a letter from motor vehicles you have to come in and no, I don't kill myself
You can do that. You can do it once but you can do it
And it's interesting because even when life gets bad people generally choose it
Over nothing even the worst versions of life even a shitty shitty life is worth living
apparently
[If] folks are living the fuck out of them
You're seeing somebody you're like. How he's a kill [sell]. [why] didn't [I] that dude?
You're been driving, and you look at the next car, and you're like. Oh shit, I?
Wish I hadn't looked in that car that [was] difficult to glance at let alone being it
just a guy [in]
the tan car
nobody chooses [tan]
Nobody picks tan for their car. They give you can
That mind yacht [here's] [a] fucking loser made [its] [han]
[it] shouldn't even make hand cars. It's mean to make them
You look over you see a guy in a tank car with his dents all over in a garbage bag for a window
What is holding up his suicide?
What?
Is delaying it?
What is keeping him from stopping being that?
and
What would it take? What would it take? What would it take?
Both Windows or garbage bags is that?
Seriously, you know how much misery is involved in a garbage bag for windows. You know how many separate moments of shit misery
They cancel my insurance broke my window duct tape
Here's the truth running away will not solve your problems. That's totally true
But killing yourself to halt all your problems. It actually does it even solves world's problems
for you
And what about isis Kill yourself?
Then they'll never get you
Seriously you everybody who's afraid of isis kills themselves right now, then isis loses
Because they live in a world of people that don't give a shit
We're gonna cut his head off. Okay. [it's]
Not fun now
I think the worst part of being beheaded if
The worst thing about being beheaded is that you look really dumb right after that's the worst part take [go] like that you
Dig yeah [yeah] just that's [fucking] Dopey [I]
Don't think they likely heading bald people because they can't do this thing. That's the best part they got to go like this
It's not as cool. So just shame the top of your head, and you won't have to worry about it
You're supposed to teach your kids right from wrong. I know it's confusing
You [know] some people raise their kids religiously, and that kind of covers it they kind of go all this
do that
I'm not raising my kids religiously because I don't feel like it
Get up on a Sunday fuck that
Fuck that let your soul. Rot kids. I don't care. I'm not getting daddy. Who's Jesus none of your business go back to bed
But my kids you know, they're living in the world, and there's a lot of religion in the world
So you do have to teach your kids if you're not raising them religiously you have to teach them about religion
You [know] I always tell my kids the same thing
I tell them that there are many religions in the world, and they're all equal, but the Christians are is the main one
That's what I tell them the Christians one
They're the winners
so act accordingly
Congratulate Christians when you meet them
Because they won the world
And it's true. It's true
[we'd] love to tell each other our selves, but every religion [is] exactly no no, they're not
the Christians won everything a
Long time ago, if you don't believe me let me ask you a question. What year is it?
I mean come on
What year is it?
according to the entire Human Race and
Why?
What year is it anybody sir just yell out the year. Thank you 20 2016 notes
22 it's right
it's
2017 what is that that's a number. It's not just any number it must be a very important number because we're counting to it in
unison as a species for
Thousands of Years we've been going wine
till
[3] about everybody for now come on Africa 5
there
We are counting the days since Jesus together
Which makes sense if you're Christian for what the fuck are the rest of us doing?
Here Jesus. What's here? Jesus was here everybody scientists historian. She's done
She's done
[Jesus] Plus 2 Jesus plus 3 Jesus Plus 4
Jesus Plus
2017 years four months and three days is when your license [expires]
How is that not a win for the Christians? How that is how is that not a complete win?
That's not a Monday off in October that
There was no time
Before Jesus and the whole world way, okay?
sure
And then somebody was like what [about] the years before him
There were billions. [I] mean infinity
Those go backwards you
[want] us to measure most of history backwards?
to accommodate one religion uh-huh
All right, we'll do it fine. We'll do it
The whole world ever watched New Year's eve around the world. They always show you like how every country celebrates
It's kind of cool. The first is one little island. It's the first place
That's actually the place that the year it's a little island in the pacific
I forget what it's [called], but the people they do a little ceremony for New Year's Eve every year
And they just they just [work] [rats] because that's they don't even have sticks yet. These are these there is a [grat] age
If no quacks, but they do dance
Yah
Yah
2017
And it goes around the world. Oh, that would have [a] given year
Those are low
Kundalini
That's what [Christians] in
2017 the
[Jews] are quietly keeping track 25 thousands of [learning] [sick] sick, but that's for us. We're just that's okay
Where's keep a track [for] when you snap out of it? It's all right. [oh]
I'll write yours on my check. I don't want a problem
What about Chinese new year? Yeah? What about Chinese New Year?
All right next time you're doing your taxes
Just right monkey where the year ago
what monkey
See what happens to your fun?
now it's
2017 year of our Lord, Jesus he o'clock on the nose
and
They made it up
That's the weirdest part they got to rename years that had already taken place because you know that's not what those years were
You know that right that the year 3?
Wasn't the year 3?
during the Years 3
Nobody was walk around back. Then hey. What year is it? It's 3?
Yeah, but I'm 28
How can I be 28?
There's only been three I
Will see you were born in BC 24 and there's [this] [hero] remember went backwards shit that was stressful. I hated those years
What was that like what years at 10? Well? Here's it now 9
Fuck is Gonna happen
you
my kids, and I were having breakfast the other day and
We're listening to NPR. We always listen to NPR because we're better than you and
So we're listening to NPR at breakfast the other morning
And there's this one story where they kept using this phrase they kept saying 9/11 deniers. They kept saying that
9/11 Deniers
My daughter was like was that
And I said well, it's a group of people who think september 11th was a conspiracy [and] she said oh, I thought they were saying
9/11 Deniers
Yeah, she thought they meant nine people who just ain't buying this 11 bullshit
Say a small fringe group really going nine of them
But they still got an nPR they got on the radio because they're dedicated they protest every day
They're the 9/11 deniers
They're outside of the white house we go 10 12 [13]
Me and my [eighth] [friend] know it. We are the 9/11 deniers
We know that 11 is a bullshit number propagated on the people by the man
Why do we have 11 when we have 13?
14 15
16 17
[MotherFuckin] 18 and 19, but we do not have a one team
What happened one team?
The government took one team and replaced it with some bullshit [call] deliver
We are the nine, but did not add shit
Mr.. President give us Back one Team I
don't mean to offend any Chinese people with the stereotype, but
That's right. I'm chinese motherfuckers
probation [I]
live in a Shanghai
I'm Chinese or than a motherfucker, but Chopstick. Why not ah?
I'm sorry
here's the thing
Stereotypes are harmful
That's truth, but the voices are funny
And I I don't know how to reconcile those two facts I
Enjoy doing the voices but there are pencils I do them at home
Ice to him for my kids when they're little they liked them. They know it was a race thing
They just enjoy daddy through the friendly man you all need [to] be the friend of man little girl
We left a friendly man. He loves little white [girls] - let's have some scrambled eggs
And then they grew up, and I was like don't talk about the friendly Manners
Maybe don't talk to your teachers about them
you
I've always pursued love my whole life. You know even when I was a kid
I loved girls and love them
And it was all I was 12 [I] discovered the girls of the greatest thing and I would ask him out
[that's] [why] [I] just walked up and asked him out. I had no fear I go to any girl
I like hey you want to go out with me. She's like now
Because it was you're supposed to do that. You weren't supposed to just ask her out. There was a system
My daughter's told me it still works this way in Middle school. There's a thing where the boy
asked [his] friend to
Ask her friend
To ask her what she would say
If he asked her out, how did children just know this?
elizabethan Parlor thing
[twelve-Year-Old] boy please inquire after her maiden friend
Why to request her presence what might be a Muslim?
Indeed my lady would enjoy the our company, sir. [why] [are] you to make it as eyes?
[mmm] that as well
May I finger, huh?
You are [bold] and think of how you may
And finger I shall
you
Like I guess I have a weird relationship with this movie that's on cable sometimes. It's called Magic Mike ever seen this movie
Magic Mike [but]
[are] you watching this on video many years from now?
Magic Mike was a movie about male strippers
starring Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum
And it was a very different country when it was made for [people], whatever you're watching but anyway
We had a whole other thing going on this [building's] not here anymore
but
you're watching it on a dusty thing and it's all rubble, and you're watching this I know why you're watching this out of everything, but
[when] things were real easy
We made movies like Magic Mike is just a nice movie about men whose strip
and
Every time I'm flipping around and it comes on. I always stop and
I play a little game of chicken with this movie I
Thought because it's a good movies well made
directed by Steven Soderbergh good director
And so [I'd] get into it again to the story and then they start stripping and I start having all these feelings
Yes, my face gets a little hot at first. I just get hostile for no reason I guess
Fuckin A
but then there's one part of the movie that I like I have a favorite part of
Magic Mike
So I we stick around for [that] part. It's the part where Matthew McConaughey's he's wearing leather pants
No shirt because the law says you cannot touch
But I think I see had a lot of lawbreakers out there I
get that
like perfect
squeeze rolls out of Medica see a lot of lawbreakers out there I
Just really like that. I
like it
And when it movie comes, I'm always like I get to where he says that and then he said that I'm like fucking good
It's really good I
Like it a lot
Here's how much I like it
I don't really do impressions, and I kind of nailed that [one] because I think about it all the [time]
I'm walking around my house. Where law says you can't teach
Law says you can't
They go up to my dog, but I think I see a lot of lawbreakers right here
like that part
And then after he says it all these strippers come on that [makani] he all these strippers channing tatum comes out looking
And then I going fuck and then I could stop because I'm starting to get a feeling
I'm starting to get like [a] feeling. It's not a boner
Not a boner
But I could feel my sick starting to turn over a little bit just started
You know when you can feel your dick kind of unfold
Like it's like a cool toy. That's been blowing up for a while. The wrinkles are starting to come out. It's taking shape
Just that early my dicks just waking up
What are you guys doing here?
Anyway, I will never watch the whole movie. I've never seen Magic Mike and its entirety
Because I don't want to see it. I don't want to see the end of Magic Mike
I know what the magic Mike is I'm pretty sure
That the end of Magic Mike is that I'm gay
Pretty sure that's how it is I
Don't want to see the ending I
Want to stay like this?
You know why cuz I'm 49 years old. [I] don't want to enter the gay community now
This is not the first of me. That's gonna have an [awesome] time as the new gay guy
So fuck that and that's my right right away, because that's about me
That is my life. [I] would never discriminate against another person for being gay. I wouldn't dream of it, but I have every right to
Oppress and
Discriminate against my own possible budding homosexuality, that's mine
to just violently push down like
[it] - dude I'm trying to make blow me, right
And you know I haven't become like
Generally attracted to men. I'm not sexually attracted to men just Matthew McConaughey and
Channing Tatum
Those two guys fuck fuck
seriously
Matthew it is like leathery skin either. Yeah, just ah
fucking sexy and
Chanting kind of dumb [pleased] [with] [you] [my] gosh, [dick]. Oh
Fuck I like it
But men in general, I'm not into [it]. It's just these you know what I think it is. I'm only game for the best
I'm top Shelf gay
Then that retail gay, I don't I mean I'm not off the rack gay
I'm not going to go to JC. Penney's and it's like a bunch of dicks
I'm gonna go to Neiman Marcus and get the signature collection
platinum dick
the bad the Best dick
I really hate penises that's really my problem with being gay. That's why I'm not gay men are fine
I'd like to have a boyfriend. That would be night I
Would every time I hear somebody think my boyfriend. I'm always like I want a boyfriend
Why can't I have a boyfriend? [I] have a big tall boyfriend
That's my boyfriend. I'm mad at my boyfriend I
Guess where his jacket it's all big on me. [I] like my boyfriend jacket I
Feel safe. [I] know I would like it. I would like to have a big dude in my life
Comes up behind me like this. I'm like hi
Like I know that would be nice
But in order to get all those parts you have to have a fucking cock [choke] up your asshole like a hard dick
Ramming in your ass ah oh
fuck oh
I just wanted to wear your jacket
They always said no girls said no to me
Till Rachel it shows the first girl. Who said yes, [she] [I] asked her to the dance [in] eighth grade and she said yes
Happiest [moment] of my life
even to now I
Never Beat it
Anyway, Rachel said yes? I'll go to the dance with [you], so he went to the dance was 13
It's my first time with a girl and about [5] minutes into the dance she comes out to me
she says - mind if I dance with Jeff I
was like
ok
Because one of the moves did I have at 13. What [was] he going to say do you mind if I dance with Jeff?
Yeah, I do. I mind very much
What the fuck do you think this is Rachel?
You don't get your shit. We're leaving right now get your shit. Shut the fuck up Rachel. I [swear] to God I
Didn't have any of those tools
so it said okay, [and] she danced with Jeff and
Made out with Jeff and left with Jeff that [was] that was it and I learned
By the way, they got jeff this true story that guy jeff. He's a woman now
That's what happened. It's true. I
was looking up on Facebook people from my past and he's a woman and
She has a whole blog on Facebook about becoming a woman. [I] was up all night. Really. I was crying it was amazing
I was like this is incredible
and there's the end there's a picture of her with hair and
She says I didn't change I knew what I was all along
I knew I was the girl since I was [6] years old
And [I] read that and I thought once you take my fucking date then
You knew you piece of shit fuck you Jeff
Fuck you in your journey. I don't give a shit now
Hooray for a transgender, but fuck you because you're just an asshole
Who became a cunt? That's what happened?
I
Envy Transgender people though I do I know it's a tough road, [but] I envy them on this level that they figured out
What's going on with them, and they fix it what an amazing gift to know what the fuck is wrong with you?
Who else gets to have that it's just a mushi? I don't fucking have any idea I
Would give a million dollars to just wake up oh, I'm an owl that's what the thing is I
Just got a blink [slow] and eat a mouse
you
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