Another sort of five point plan
anyone can follow to get over stress and
trollman
in the last summit right well I think
first I wanna make one thing clear the
quality of your life is the quality of
where you live emotionally but we all
have a home angry people try and find a
way to get angry even if their life
doesn't they'd be angry about we can
Always find it sad people find what he
said caring people find a way to care
for other people so one thing that
identify is where are you living what's
your home what's your habit and then the
way to change it when I was homeless
literally on my own just getting started
I didn't have the internet but I decided
I had to go to a library and I had to
feed my mind I always tell people the
first stages you know weeds grow
automatically one of my teachers taught
me is that every day Stan guarded the
door of your mind and seen it something
good because if your worst enemy puts
sugar in your coffee here you're fine
your best friend by accident
trying to help you put some strychnine
you're dead so if you feed your mind
every day 30 minutes a day of reading
something hearing something second you
got to strengthen your body and the
reason Peirce is fear is physical right
so is stagnation
so it's numbness so its sadness that so
it's range and when you go in and change
your body by an intense workout or a run
and even intense walk and the Bloods
flowing through you behind the shown it
instantly changes your biochemistry and
now your mind and body you're working
together
third thing all these people didn't
comment if you watch they found a
mission bigger than themselves yeah
something that they want to aspire to
that was worth more than their pain and
then the fourth thing is you got to find
a role model you know you heard it and
with Nick almost anybody finds a role
model that makes it real I was with
Warren Buffett and with Farrah Blakeley
the youngest billionaire we did this
roundtable about the future and we
listened this woman and when women need
her they don't just love Spanx or
product that made her a billionaire they
love this woman because she's a role
model what's possible you get a role
model it becomes real to you if you get
a plan you get a goal plan and you take
massive action and the last step number
five there's always somebody all or
something you aren't there what you've
done so if you can go help somebody
worse off it puts your life in
perspective and it also reminds you
life's not about me it's about we I
always tell people the secret to a great
life the secret to living is giving and
there's you realize there's something
you still to give even if you lost your
legs even if you've been through a
horrific financial situation your life
can improve
but more importantly you'll have a
meaningful life is your life will
contribute to the people if you want to
know what it takes to be happy we have
to understand what is our current
blueprint of how our life's supposed to
be total mean by blueprint well we have
a story in our head of how life's
supposed to be some people's story is
you work hard in school you become
really great you're a nice person you're
a good person and then you grow up and
you take care of yourself and you find
the ideal man and you fall in love you
have a white picket fence and you have
to be perfect gentleman and you let
happily-ever-after
somebody else's story the old story was
you work really hard in school you excel
in college you're going to work for a
big corporation and you move up through
the ranks until you're the President or
chairman of the company and you become
successful respected throughout life
these are some old stories obviously the
stories that we hear today what people's
lives are supposed to be like are
completely diverse you no longer have
these little archetypes but when
archetype still seems to remain that
archetype is in order for you to really
feel like you're enough many people
believe they have to achieve an enormous
amount they may may do it in different
ways they may do it by building a
company and taking a public when they're
27 or 25 years old or you know they find
and create a new technology or they
become a very special doctor but we live
in a culture in the West that teaches
people that you're not enough unless you
do something really special and unique
and we define special and unique and
interesting ways a schoolteacher is not
special and unique a mother who stays
home with her children
day and night sculpting their minds
their bodies their souls and their
future is not special we live in a world
today where we treat teachers like
they're nobody and pay them accordingly
we wonder why our children seem to have
challenges of learning and growing or
being engaged in school we spend
thousands of dollars on some item like a
computer but what we look at overall we
invest in for the teacher and for that
person is the personal connection with
them is so small we live in a society
where many women look down and say well
you're just a housewife you're just a
mother see some of the pain we have in
our society is not because there's one
right or one wrong approach but because
we try to make everybody fit into some
particular protocol if-- here's what's
going to make you happy or make you
unhappy in life it's real simple let's
do a quick test if you're in a situation
right now where you look at your life I
know there's an area of your life that
you probably feel pretty darn good about
even if you're not happy with your
finances I bet you feel damn good close
to your kids or if you're not close to
your kids and you don't have any kids
maybe you feel really good about your
career if you're doing not so good in
your career maybe you've got a really
great body that you've trimmed down or
strengthened up or you know you really
shaped yourself the way you want
muscularly or in the way you look or if
that's not happening maybe you feel
really special connection with God or
really close to your mother or father
your family whatever almost everybody
has an area of their life they feel
really good about if they're honest if
they're fair to themselves what's the
mean of your life you really feel happy
about how much you think about it for a
moment truthfully what's an area in your
life today but if you wanted to be happy
about it you really could feel proud
about it you could feel like scenario
you're doing darn well in and if you're
really hard on yourself there's still an
area what's an area I want you think of
it right now
so once you think of that area whether
it's your body or your finances or your
career or your intimate relationship or
your relationship with your kids your
relationship with your Creator whatever
it is once you think about why are you
happy with that air of your life right
now today why are you happy with that
area of your life right now today really
think about if you're in a seminar with
God have you write this down if you
can't you can put me on hold here for a
second because I'd like to reveal to you
what the formula is for happiness and if
I say there's a formula for happiness
and here's what it is you're going to go
yeah yeah sure that's what he says but
if you put down the answer and we can
see the formulas real without me telling
you what it is you get to look at your
own life and say it matches you're going
to know this is right so you could stop
this right now if you want put me on
hold and just write down what's an area
of your life you're really really happy
about you're really pleased with or you
could be if you wanted to focus on it
and why are you happy with that part of
your life right now even if you're not
happy with everything what's the air
you're happy with and why put me on hold
right now or you're not going to do that
just think for a moment why specifically
be real why now when I asked
this if you turn me back on now if I ask
this of an audience I'll have people
write this down for a few minutes and
I'll call on people I'll say share with
a person next to you first what are you
happy about and why are you happy in
that area and be specific after they
share how people stand up I'll call in a
variety people and I say yeah I'm
telling me what are you happy about
she'll say well honestly I'm really
happy with my body because I never
thought I'd say that
but I used to be so unhappy with it and
you know I finally I did some things I
push myself through and now I exercise
regularly and eat I'm not perfect but I
feel fit I feel strong I feel energetic
and that's really I don't know it just
feels good to me now I say everybody I'm
now going to show you what the formula
for happiness is and it's real simple I
want to reveal it to you so you don't
ever forget it
whenever you're happy with the area of
your life it's because right now your
current life experience I call your LC
your life conditions the conditions of
your life your life conditions in that
area match or equal to your blueprint
your story your belief about how life
should be in that area so this woman
says to me I'm really happy to my body
because it's not perfect her blueprint
is I don't need to be perfect but it's
so much better than it was I'm fit and
I'm strong and I have this energy her
mental blueprint says I should be fit
strong and have energy I don't need to
be perfect but I should be that way or
my life my body matches how I think it
should be I feel good about my life
allow somebody else
I'll say you know tell me there you're
happy with someone else to say well I'm
really happy with my career why well I'm
doing better than I even thought I would
be I mean I'm ahead of the schedule of
where I hoped I'd be at this stage I'm
working at this level in this company
and I have these skills and this ability
and it's even better than I thought well
once again listen this person is happy
with this area their life because their
current life conditions in the area
called their career are even better than
they expected they would be better than
their blueprint better than their belief
about how it should be it was really
better you tend to be over the moon one
woman would say you know uh I gotta tell
you I said I'm happy has ever been in my
whole life how come she goes because I
have this man in my life and I'm in love
with him and he loves me and I can be
myself
with him and he we have this incredible
intimacy and this passion and we want to
be with each other all the time and I
never get bored with him
what's her blueprint you want to be with
somebody that you can have total
intimacy with somebody who you love and
loves you those are part of her rules
her beliefs of how it should be
she said it you know it's needs to be I
never want to be with anybody else I
want to be with him every moment her
blueprint about how life should be in
the way she lives her relationships even
better than she hoped when it's better
than you hope you're going to be totally
excited so think about this then what's
an area you're not happy with let's see
we can find the formula for unhappiness
if the formula for happiness is to be
able to meet your expectations or exceed
them that we really makes you excited
but to be happy at least Mita does not
be perfect but if you general your
meaning what you expect you want from
your life in that area feel good right
conditions match blueprint feel good so
what makes you feel bad or creates pain
stress frustration real easy way to
figure it out answer this question
what's an area your life you're not
happy with let me be honest with
yourself and even if your life is great
all kinds of ways I'm sure there's an
area you'd like to improve anybody who's
honest if they're doing great in their
career very often they'll take care of
their body so much if they're really
focused on their body you know very
often they find themselves in the
position where they're not spending
enough time with their kids or their
spend of time with their kids their
intimate relationships not doing so well
because it's the nature of human beings
to focus on areas they feel comfortable
with and strong in and give those time
and area they don't feel so strong and
they go I don't have time for it what
you really say is I don't feel very
confident that area so what's an area of
your life that you are not as happy with
I mean it's healthy honestly to look at
areas and say I don't like it I want
more this whole concept of a
breakthrough is about how do I close the
gap between where I am right now and
where I want to be that's what we're
here to do is like here's what I want to
be here's where I am it's healthy to see
there's a gap that makes me have this
hunger this drive to grow to feel alive
to expand as a human being so what's an
area you're not pleased with is it your
body is it your finances is it your
career is it
spiritual life or lack thereof in terms
of feeling connected in that area is it
your kids what's the area what's the
area that's not where you want it to be
and then answer for a moment why aren't
you happy with that area of your life
right now why specifically today are you
not happy with that area of your life at
this stage of your time of your life
again you can stop this and write it
down might be useful for you or if
you're going to keep it running stop it
and you'll turn it right back on I'll
kick into it do that now or if you kept
it running then just I'll give you what
happens I have people write this down
and they don't like this exercise so
much oh I don't like my body or I don't
like my finances I don't like my career
I don't like the person I'm in a
relationship with I don't like myself
the way I'm in relationships why they
write it all down how people share back
and forth I call on people and the
lessons pretty clear I tell people in
advance here's the formula for
unhappiness
I'll show you before you do anything
else when your life conditions when your
life conditions the way you're living
life today does not match it doesn't
equal your blueprint your story of how
it's supposed to be then you're going to
have disappointment frustration or pain
if your life is way different than the
way you think it's supposed to be you
can have enormous pain if it's a little
different you might feel stressed make
sense so people stand up and I said tell
me you know what's here you're not happy
with you person says well you know I'm
really not happy with my finances and I
go why and they say because I'm doing
worse now than I was five years ago I
made mistakes in the market and at this
stage of my life I should have this much
money and I don't have it and I don't
know how to change it and it's making me
crazy and why are they crazy said well
because they don't have their economic
needs met no you cannot have your
economic needs met and you can still be
okay but when you have an idea this is
what my need is and I did the wrong
thing my life doesn't match how I'm
supposed to be that's when people get a
little crazy so you think about if you
grew up taking care of folding your own
clothes making your own meals going to
the store doing the grocery shopping
cleaning the bedroom
house vacuuming taking out the trash and
you did that your whole life then if you
have to do that later on you don't feel
like you have economic pain because
you'll have a maid but if you grew up an
environment where everything was done
for you you never have to work and now
suddenly you have to work incredibly
hard to just pay enough money to pay
your bills and all of a sudden food is
building up and house is dirty and your
clothes are folded and nothing matches
you might find yourself really angry and
frustrated because you have a different
story about how life's supposed to be
than how it is someone else will say
well I'll tell you why because I'm in a
situation now where you know I'm 30
pounds everything I should be should be
the key word there are people there are
people in all cultures who love being
big there are people that walk around
and someone else might think they're
massively overweight but they're gone
I own this honey and they really truly
they match their blueprint big is
beautiful because their ideas big is
beautiful I'm big
that's beautiful matches my blueprint
rock and roll I'm happy as can be
somebody else can look like a twig and
be stressed out saying I hate my body
because their blueprint says I should be
the skinniest thing on earth and I'm not
skinny enough am I making sense when
your life conditions don't match your
blueprint you're gonna have pain but
here's when you suffer I'll ask people
who here has been through the dark night
of the soul who's been here in a
situation where you feel like like like
life life isn't worth living or we feel
like a pain that just will never go away
and I'll be polite down those
experiences like Joaquin so you begin to
understand what the issue is I'm talking
about what Keane if you recall was in a
situation where this man felt like there
was no reason to live he couldn't work
couldn't do anything his life was
worthless why did he think that because
he had a blueprint his blueprint said I
need be an NBA basketball player at
least a professional basketball player I
need to be able to make money and have
this great lifestyle because that's what
makes me worthwhile as a human being
that's what makes my family respect me
my mother my uncle's my aunts I'm the
successful one in the family and I make
the money I support everybody he's a
good man he didn't come just to be
successful he took care of his mother
his families you try to be an
inspiration for people walking Hawkins
as a man it was always going out on his
free time and training kids and showing
them the pathway to freedom how they
could play basketball and get free like
he did and get out of the inner city
this man is not a selfish man but he
knew this is the way to be worthwhile
this is the way to be able to give to
people this is the way to take care of
your family and all of a sudden one
night what happened that way was taken
from him he has a stroke and another
night his life conditions make it
impossible to be who he has to be or he
feels like he's worthless to get it we
have an identity we have a story of how
we're supposed to be and if life somehow
gets in the way of that story we feel
pain but if we feel we have no control
that's when we go into suffering see
it's one thing to say my life doesn't
match my blueprint I got to lose weight
that might stress you out or my life
doesn't match my blueprint I'm not in a
relationship I got to get in one that
might motivate you even you might not
like it but you're going to find a way
to get away or my career doesn't matter
I should be you could change it but when
you start believing that your life
doesn't match your blueprint and you
have no control to change it you're
helpless that's when people suffer and
so this week for your breakthrough it's
a chance for you to start to take a look
at your blueprint anywhere you're really
having pain yeah look if you're doing
great in some area of your life
celebrate of course and I'm sure there
are many areas you are but life is
really a series of growth spurts I mean
two things in life make you feel alive
growing and giving and what's really
wonderful about this man Joaquin is he
was constantly growing trying to get
better trying to be a better team made a
better basketball player think about it
when he didn't make the team's and he'd
make the NBA he didn't give up he worked
even harder the guy was always striving
striving to become something and he
became
and he achieved it and then life took it
from him
isn't that the common denominator with
so many of the people and the stories of
this six-part series that you saw these
six specials I mean thank and Kristen
had a blueprint of what life was
supposed to be about we're supposed to
get married to have children and we're
gonna have our own business and all of a
sudden life doesn't match the blueprint
and suddenly there's depression because
in their case they said there's nothing
we could do but they were wrong they
were wrong because they discovered and
Frank discovered I can make a difference
my wife the chair even though I didn't
create this and didn't ask for this
chair does not define me I can become
more than I was before I can have the
impact of my wife I can have children we
had to change his blueprint because we
couldn't change all the conditions of
his life does that make sense I couldn't
get him to physically walk again maybe
someday he will but we can't count on
that but we got to count on is that he
can be fulfilled by seeing he isn't
helpless that I did that to a series of
experiences that violated what he
thought he couldn't do the same thing
was true with almost every one of the
people we worked with at some level and
in Joaquin's example it was also true
our King said well I can't ever have
this quality of life again because I'm
not a professional basketball player and
he was locked into that mindset and all
of us get locked at times but to his
credit to assist them steps we were able
to break him out of that we would get
him to see that he isn't helpless
because here's your choice watch this
now if you're suffering if you're in
pain your life doesn't match how you
think it should be and you think you're
helpless to change it now you have only
three choices choice one blame something
and that's what what Keane did if you
recall he blamed his coach he blamed
what happened to him and of course these
things were outside his control but he
blamed his coach a big part of the
healing if you watch this session was
bringing his coach in and getting him to
see hey you know when all that anger all
that resentment inside of you are keen a
it's not based on the truth and be like
Nelson Mandela said you know having
resentment in your soul is like drinking
poison and hoping that your enemy
we'll die then work that way and when
Joaquin was able to break out his
breakthrough was a change in perception
to realize this coach wasn't stopping me
I just felt like I lost everything and
so I don't know how to change it so I'm
looking for something to be mad about
someone to blame so so I don't have to
blame myself or I don't have to feel so
helpless because when you're angry you
don't feel so helpless you feel strong
for the moment even though it's a fake
strength when he was able to make that
breakthrough he could stop blaming cuz
these are three choices when life
doesn't match how you think it should be
blame something an event someone else or
yourself as we talked about earlier in
the series blame games just destroy you
there's no progress in you playing for
the moment you feel okay but nothing
changes what are your real choices you
only have two choices in life if life
doesn't match your blueprint you either
have to change your life that is you
kind of say you know what my body isn't
there I'm gonna go work out my
relationship is in there I'm gonna
change it you know I'm not making what I
gotta make I'm gonna retool I'm gonna
get a new skill I'm gonna go back to
school I'm going to start a business I'm
gonna do something you have to do
something to change your life or in
order for you to be happy if you can't
change your life you're going to have to
change your blueprint usually in life it
requires a little bit of each does that
make sense and if you change your
picture life and change your blueprint
you can have an extraordinary life and
what you witness this man do was once he
let go of his anger and his denial once
he started to look at things he began to
find by spending time with his family
that he was worthwhile being loved while
he played basketball or not of course
he'd love to play basketball but
professional basketball is no longer
part of it and we got to get Joaquin to
shift that and Joaquin is a metaphor for
all of us because all of us are going to
have times in our life when what we want
or think life should be like isn't going
to match how life really is those
moments if we blame our life goes into
pain if we change we can change our life
and match our blueprint but we have to
also know when it's not within our
control and that's how we're able to
make a shift and change what our story
is for our life what our expectations
are not by lowering them but by changing
what that model
Lia's helping this make sense to you
I'll give you a great example
years ago I do a lot of work with
business people celebrities people of
all kinds of walks of life and I was
dealing with a group of people and they
knew a very very powerful celebrity and
without to give that person privacy I
won't tell you too many details we can't
figure exactly who it is but it would be
a person who was very successful as a
woman who was extremely attractive by
cultural standards a woman who's had a
lot of dear friends a lot of deep
respect so great skill great ability
extremely talented quite attractive
quite wealthy in financial terms and
lots of great friends this would be for
most people's idea the ultimate
blueprint if your life matches that
description you must have an incredible
life but ironically this particular
individuals famous as they were was
depressed all the time they had
seemingly everything and yet the person
was depressed how do you get depressed
when you're smart and you're strong and
you're beautiful and you got great
friends and you're rich and you're
famous well it's real simple
people said it I don't know what it is
everyone's tried to help her she's been
on the through counseling she's got all
these different drugs nothing's working
she's taking antidepressants and she's
still depressed which is not uncommon by
the way because if you change the way
you feel physically but you still see
your life doesn't match how you think it
should be at some level and you feel
like you're helpless to change it you're
going to be depressed so I said bring
her to me I said I can help her I know
that sounds like hyperbole but I
absolutely can help her well how do you
know that Tony because I already know
what the problem is I know someone's
depressed it's because they feel
helpless because their life doesn't
matter they think it should be I just
didn't know what a blueprint is but
we'll find out what it is and we'll
either help her change your life or mop
or change your blueprint or both long
story short and very quickly I'll tell
you the core of it she came to me and
she said maybe the first half an hour
telling me apologizing saying I know I
should be happier I know it's silly for
me to be depressed I don't know why I'm
so depressed I I know I should be
grateful for what I have and I am
grateful it was all these reasons why
she knows she
feel good but still didn't I try to
finally explain to her listen I don't
care about that I care about you the
fact that you're not happy has nothing
to do with what you have or don't have
the fact that you're not happy is that
your life doesn't match the way you
think it should be and you have some
idea of how you think it should be and
worse if you're this depressed after all
this time you feel like you can't do
anything you have no power to change it
you feel helpless and she looked at me a
certain way and I said so what is that
what did you want your life to be like
she goes well it sounds stupid I didn't
like that stupid to me she said well I
don't know I just always sounds a little
girl dreamed that I would be married and
I have three basically perfect children
and they would love me totally and I
love my husband he loved me and I said
okay so how's that working for you so
far and she said well I think you know
this pretty famous person she said I'm
divorced twice I have no children and
now X age and to give you a clue that
age would be an age where having a child
your own natural child at least barring
a medical miracle is not going to happen
so I said to her well why don't you just
adopt because no no no no no that's not
it so what I had to dig under is never
we talked at one of the earlier sessions
about there's the surface problem and
then there's the deeper desire or need
so I said to our sin of all what if you
couldn't have the husband but you could
have the kids and she smiled she said I
take that I said well why not adopt it
kid she goes no it has to be my own
blood children I kept digging to find
out what was behind her blueprint
because your blueprint is just a
projection of what you think you need to
be happy
but as human beings were notoriously
ineffective at knowing that's going to
make us out so much we think we're going
to make us happily to get there we go is
this all there is so many things that we
think are going to make us miserable we
can never deal with we go through it we
can handle it
we're not good at projecting these
things oh god the studies showed us so I
said to her well what what are you
hoping to get from these three children
why do they have to be your blood
children and she finally said well if
they're my blood children I know they'll
always love me they'll never leave me
what was she looking for unconditional
love she had this big blueprint that
said white house picket fence three
children perfect husband you know all
these different things but what was
behind that was a need and need to feel
like she could have loved that would be
certain and wouldn't go away so I can
help her meet that need so I said to her
I said well maybe one reason you don't
have a husband is because every time you
look at one you're trying to figure out
if he's going to get you those three
kids and time and how that's gonna
happen it may be he feels a little
stressed when you're looking at in this
way because he can feel what's going on
behind your bed even if he doesn't know
what the words are and she started
laughs because I guess I've probably
been that way a good portion my life and
she goes people wonder you know why I'm
so uptight
I say you're uptight because you were
felt like you're running out of time
trying to meet some picture but I said
all you really want is love don't you
have a lot of love enjoy life tell me
about your friends and gradually I got
her to start seeing this love that she
was trying to get was already here it
didn't match the picture maybe maybe we
could paint a new picture of what life
could really be like and make sure that
picture met her deepest needs basically
we did Joaquin Joaquin wanted to be
professional basketball particles he
loved basketball yes but also because he
wanted to be that man who was a leader
he wanted to be a man who was the good
man he want to be the one who brought
energy to people he want to be the man
people would look up to he want to be
the man who could take care of his
family and style all of a SAN Li not
just his daughters and his wife but
other people as well underneath it all
he wanted to know that he mattered and
through the process that you saw in this
show he began to find out that he didn't
need to be angry at the world
yes his blueprint was taken from him but
his soul and his ability to be a special
human being that could touch other
people was not taken from him that may
be his real gift was his ability to
inspire young kids his ability to get
himself to do whatever it took how to
become a professional basketball player
unbelievable discipline unbelievable
Drive he started bringing that to
picking up trash and the game started
change he started a primary could go
home and take care of his kids and pay
his bills that doesn't solve everything
but it gives him a way to suddenly
regain himself when he sat around with
all of his family you saw part of those
scenes and if you watch little areas of
browsing this week you'll see some more
scenes from his family where you see him
begin you realize they love me whether
I'm rich or poor they love me
when in professional basketball player
or not they love me that's what he was
really after and he got that it allowed
him to let go and say I can do other
things that doesn't mean he won't have
challenges we're all gonna have
challenges in our life it make doesn't
mean that at times he won't what she's
doing more but he's no longer stuck he's
broken through because he now knows I
have control I can change my life or I
can change my blueprint and what I do I
can fulfill it I can start to fill that
aliveness now here's the trap what do
you think happens once you fulfill your
blueprint regularly why don't you figure
out how to do what you always dreamed of
you always dream to live a certain way
and now you're living that way living
that way living that way everyday well
the human nervous system human spirit
needs to grow so pretty soon you'll get
bored with that and you'll come up with
a new blueprint that's part of the part
of life that's exciting see if you and I
are from this day forward are going to
be happy just remember we've said it
takes two things grow and give a
meaningful life comes from growing that
sense of progress and it comes from
having life not just be about me but
about we doing something that makes me
feel connected to other people besides
myself that growth that sense of
contribution fills a deep spiritual need
that we all have if you are unhappy in
your life you got three choices really
to blame that's not a choice not going
to work don't blame someone else don't
blame you that don't blame yourself just
figure out what you're going to do to
change your life that's my specialty if
you like my coaching or my team's
come visit with us come to an event come
get a coach come to a program will guide
you through it more than just a few
minutes like this and we'll do it
directly an environment that will shift
you or change your blueprint you're
going to have to rewire what's going on
inside and that's what we focus on as
well so I hope this journey has been an
interesting one for you I hope that's
opened up your eyes to what it takes to
go from where you are to where you want
to be it takes changing your emotional
pattern it change bringing presence to
your life it takes realizing you have no
problems compared to somebody else and
putting your life in perspective it
takes the ability to deal with those
extreme stresses that happen in your
life by questioning your limiting
beliefs and again if we'd love to coach
you and show you how to change those in
a permanent way where it happens
automatically just like lifting weights
so often till the muscle is always there
and you find yourself able to follow
through it takes for you to be able to
figure out how to deal with crisis and
how to turn it around
it takes facing your fear it takes
pushing yourself through what used to
stop you
it takes putting yourself in a position
where you connect to what's more
important than just yourself what you
value than just yourself and it takes I
think in this case also the ability to
realize that no matter what happens to
you you're more than that moment you're
more than the story you think you're
supposed to be and that even when you're
not matching what you think you need to
be maybe there's a reason for that maybe
you're having to find a different part
of yourself that's going to fulfill you
at a much deeper level sometimes failing
to get your goal gives you your destiny
I can't tell you how many people I've
known of the years who had an idea of
what they thought their life was
supposed to be like and they didn't
achieve it they felt miserable and upset
and frustrated and one day an opening
happened and they went oh my god
thank God that didn't happen I think
it's Garth Brooks had a great song and a
song about when he was in high school
and he was in love with this girl
infatuated with her and she didn't even
know that he existed and he prayed to
God every day that she would notice him
that she would fall in love with him and
then sure enough she never did he was so
disappointed his blueprint didn't match
his life didn't match it cuz she didn't
even know he existed and he felt this
suffering
nothing to turn it around well 15 years
later he became a guy named Garth Brooks
somebody everybody knew and he could
rock you know stadiums with his energy
and his song his music and he goes back
to be this high school reunit it was his
15 year even if I remember correctly I
don't never the exact year but all I
remember is he said he saw that woman
that he was so obsessed by looking
forward to seeing her and now I'm just
Garth Brooks and he met her and after he
met her in spend some time with her he
wrote a song called thank God for
unanswered prayers sometimes not getting
your blueprints the best thing that ever
happen because the disappointment drives
you to find something more important
inside of you or not getting it makes
you look for another aspect of your life
a spiritual aspect of a family aspect a
physical aspect if you can just trust
that life doesn't happen to you it
happens for you then you can find in any
situation a benefit that can take your
life to the next level I don't care if
you're Frank and Kristen I don't care if
you're you know Mandy and Scott I don't
care if you're Joaquin and Kim every one
of us in our life is going to feed faced
situations where it feels like we have
total trauma something that's been taken
from us the real question is what are
you going to do with it
some people just live in their story of
what they don't have and they have the
right to do that if Frank and Kristen
lived in pain and felt bad we'd all say
they have the right to do it it's a
difference in what you have the right to
do and what you deserve to give yourself
and others we have the ability to
transcend whatever happens to us there's
something called post-traumatic growth
very few people know about it two people
go through the same stress ones
destroyed the other grows what's the
difference the people that grow will not
give up they don't have any excuses they
find the way to break through whatever
it takes and when they do three things
happen number one they realize who they
really are and what they're capable of
they realize are so much stronger than
they thought they were and number two
they deepen all their relationships
you want to know who really cares about
to who you love and it loves you
go through some tragedy go through some
hard times all your Facebook friends go
away your real friends your real family
shows up for you and you show up for
them it deepens your relationships and
the third thing happens if you could
push yourself through and break through
whatever challenges life gives you and
each time you have a breakthrough you
get stronger it almost like builds a
psychological immunity in you or
suddenly all of a sudden it's like stuff
happens you know stuffs going to happen
and you're not scared of it anymore
because after you've been through a
stroke after you've been through you
know losing the use of some of your body
or senses after you lose a family member
and you break through to that you get to
the other side it's like give me your
best shot life it's almost like there's
this psychological immunity that says
I'm ready forever life will give me I
don't want challenges but if they're
here I know I can handle them that
strength of spirit is what creates a
sense of freedom and joy in life and
that strength of spirit basically comes
from living a life where you are
constantly a never ending feeling a way
to improve yourself and to help others
that's my mission and if we can serve
you again in the future I hope you'll
check us out there's three ways you can
continue to participate with us you can
come to an event come have an experience
with us live in a weekend and unleash
the power within or our date with
destinies I think you'll find it's very
different than just sitting here talking
to you quietly sitting in front of your
computer screen it's a rock'n'roll
environment it's like going to the
ballpark and having one person sitting
there talking to you versus being in the
ballpark or the rock and roll concert
you know with 50,000 there's an energy
and a power that comes from it second is
there's immersion here we talked for an
hour there's distractions emails there
it's total focus and we go for immersion
where literally what we did here over
six weeks few little conversations all
that happens over and over again
multiple times a day you get that shift
so comes into that or call up and get a
coach we have people that you can work
with and have a free coaching session to
make sure it's really valuable for you
but these are people that can check in
with you to help make sure you break
through you make the changes you want to
make in your career your finances your
body your emotions or whatever area
matters to you and finally lastly and
probably most importantly
every day you got to feed your mind
because every day most of us are turning
on you know some form of news it shows
up in our pocket and our blackberries or
I you know iPods or iPhones I should say
it shows up you know on your computer
constantly it chases us in it rarely
does a good idea interrupt you really
what you have to do is pursue the ideas
pursue the experiences they're going to
change your life and we have a way to do
it called net time no extra time I know
I've gone long in this session but I
really want you to think about how can I
get my life the way I want it to be the
way I do it is I figure out what my
blueprint is and I update it for what
life is I changed my life match my
blueprint and suddenly my life feels
full and a life thank you for the time
that we spent together here I've really
enjoyed our time and I hope that this
breakthrough series remind you to never
settle for less than you can be never
settle for less than you can give or you
can share Live Strong live with passion
and god bless
For more infomation >> What Is Narcissism? - Duration: 4:48. 
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