Thứ Bảy, 13 tháng 5, 2017

Youtube daily May 14 2017

KILLIAN: What would you regard as the defining moment of your life?

Well, uh, I think that would be the day I decided not to let my injury beat me.

(TYPING)

KILLIAN: Will you please state your name for the camera?

Ellen Brandt.

Okay. So, the injections are administered periodically.

Addiction will not be tolerated.

And those who cannot regulate will be cut from the programme.

(TYPING)

Once misfits, cripples...

You are the next iteration of human evolution.

Everybody, before we start...

I promise you, looking back at your life, there will be nothing as bitter

as the memory of that glorious risk you prudently elected to forego.

Today is your glory.

Let's begin.

(GROANING)

(BRANDT SCREAMS)

(SCREAMING)

We gotta get out of here! We gotta get out of here!

Get her out! Get them out of here!

(GROWLING)

(ROARING)

A bomb is not a bomb when it's a misfire.

The stuff doesn't always work. Right, pal?

It's faulty, but you found a buyer, didn't you?

Sold it to the Mandarin.

Got you, pal.

MAYA: What happened?

MAYA: Fun fact.

Before he built rockets for the Nazis,

the idealistic Wernher von Braun

dreamed of space travel.

He stargazed. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Do you know what he said when the first V-2 hit London?

"The rocket performed perfectly."

"It just landed on the wrong planet."

See, we all begin wide-eyed. Pure science.

And then the ego steps in, the obsession.

And you look up,

you're a long way from shore.

You can't be too hard on yourself, Maya.

I mean, you gave your research to a think tank.

Yeah, but Killian built that think tank on military contracts.

That's exactly what we used to do.

So, don't judge yourself.

Thank you, Pepper.

I really appreciate that.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(DOOR OPENS)

- Hi, good evening. Come on in. WAITER: - Good evening.

(GASPS) (GRUNTS)

Maya, run!

(WHIMPERS)

Hi, Pepper.

So, you want to tell me why you were at Stark's mansion last night?

I'm trying to fix this thing.

I didn't know you and the master were gonna blow the place up.

Oh, I see. So, you were trying to save Stark when he threatened us?

I've told you, Killian, we can use him.

(GROANS)

Pepper. Pepper. Pepper.

Look, if we want to launch product next year, I need Stark.

He just lacked a decent incentive. Now, he has one.

MAN: (ON RADIO)

Copy.

(REPULSOR FIRING) (PEOPLE SHRIEKING)

Nobody move.

(WOMEN EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

Oh. Support Blue-Zero,

unless the Mandarin's next attack on the U.S.

involves cheaply-made sportswear,

I think you messed up again.

Yes, you're free, uh, if you weren't before.

It's... Of course.

Yes, ma'am.

Iron Patriot on the job.

Happy to help.

No need to thank me, ma'am.

It's my pleasure. (GRUNTING)

(GASPING)

Savin? I've acquired the Patriot armour.

RHODEY: If you want this suit,

you're going to have to pry my cold dead body out of it.

That's the plan, Colonel.(Thanks for Watching,CoolestClips4K)

For more infomation >> Iron Man 3 | Iron Patriot On The Job | 'Project Extremis' Scene | (2013) Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:29.

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Iron Man 3 | 'Aldrich Killian-(Mandarin) Kills Maya Hansen' Scene | (2013) Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:28.

But I'm close.

EXTREMIS is practically stabilised.

I'm telling you it isn't. I'm on the street.

People are going bang. They're painting the walls.

Maya, you're kidding yourself.

Then help me fix it.

Did I do that?

Yes.

I remember the night, not the morning.

Is this what you've been chasing around?

- You don't remember? - I can't help you.

You used to have a moral psychology.

You used to have ideals.

You wanted to help people.

Now look at you.

I get to wake up every morning with someone who

still has their soul.

Get me out of here.

Come on.

KILLIAN: You know what my old man used to say to me?

One of his favourite of many sayings...

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

You're not still pissed off about the Switzerland thing, are you?

How can I be pissed at you, Tony?

I'm here to thank you.

You gave me the greatest gift that anybody's ever given me.

Desperation.

If you think back to Switzerland,

you said you'd meet me on the rooftop, right?

Well, for the first 20 minutes,

I actually thought you'd show up.

And the next hour...

I considered taking that one-step shortcut to the lobby.

If you know what I mean.

Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out what happened to the first mouse.

But as I looked out over that city,

nobody knew I was there, nobody could see me,

no one was even looking.

I had a thought that would guide me for years to come.

Anonymity, Tony.

Thanks to you, it's been my mantra ever since.

Right?

You simply rule from behind the scenes.

Because the second you give evil a face,

a bin Laden, a Gaddafi, a Mandarin,

you hand the people a target.

You're something else.

You have met him, I assume?

Yes. Sir Laurence Oblivier.

I know he's a little over the top sometimes.

It's not entirely my fault. He has a tenden...

He's a stage actor.

They say his Lear was the toast of Croydon, wherever that is.

Anyway, the point is,

ever since that big dude with the hammer fell out of the sky,

subtlety has kind of had its day.

What's next for you in your world?

Well, I wanted to repay you the selfsame gift

that you so graciously imparted to me.

(ORBS HUMMING)

Desperation.

Now, this is live.

I'm not sure if you can tell, but at this moment

the body is trying to decide whether to accept EXTREMIS

or just give up.

And if it gives up,

I have to say, the detonation is quite spectacular.

But until that point, it's really just a lot of pain.

(CLICKS) (HUMMING CEASES)

We haven't even talked salary yet.

What kind of perk package are you thinking of?

MAYA: Let him go.

Hold on, hold on.

Maya...

I said, let him go.

What are you doing?

1200 CCs. A dose half of this size, I'm dead.

It's times like this my temper is tested somewhat.

Maya, give me the injector.

If I die, Killian,

what happens to your soldiers? What happens to your product?

We're not doing this, okay?

What happens to you? What happens if you go too hot?

(BREATHING DEEPLY)

KILLIAN: The good news is,

a high-level position has just been vacated.

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

You are a maniac.

No, I'm a visionary.

But I do own a maniac.

And he takes the stage tonight.(Thanks for Watching,CoolestClips4K)

For more infomation >> Iron Man 3 | 'Aldrich Killian-(Mandarin) Kills Maya Hansen' Scene | (2013) Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:28.

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'Snatched' Movie Review - Duration: 1:56.

Hello, my name is Carlos Steven Carty and this is my movie review for Snatched directed

by Jonathan Levine and written by Katie Dippold.

The stars of this movie include Amy Schumer, Goldie Hawn, Wanda Sykes, and others.

In the action comedy Snatched, a mother and her daughter Emily get kidnapped during their

vacation in Ecuador.

Amy Schumer performing her usual party girl shtick is one of the few reasons to watch

this far fetched story and that's because screenwriter Katie Dippold doesn't give us

an interesting story.

Instead, the audience is treated with a formulaic abduction story where white people get into

some trouble in a developing country.

It also doesn't help when dirty violent Colombians are used as a stereotype.

Fortunately, Dippold gives us hilarious supporting characters like a fake adventurous safari

guide, a lazy Mama's boy, and a frustrated state department official.

The secondary characters are enjoyable to watch, which could almost be the exact opposite

for Amy Shumer and her co-star Goldie Hawn.

That's because despite all the comical dialogue and witty remarks, the female duo lack some

enthusiasm in their acting.

Whenever Schumer and Hawn work together alone, the comedy is taken to a low level, but whenever

Schumer speaks with other cast members the story becomes funny once again.

Forgetting to watch Snatched in the movie theater wouldn't be troubling at all.

Remember that you can always give me your thoughts on the film by writing them down

in the comments section below.

If you want, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel and share this video with others.

My name is Carlos Steven Carty and thanks for watching.

Bye!

For more infomation >> 'Snatched' Movie Review - Duration: 1:56.

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Credence Barebone Death | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:52.

I've met someone just like you, Credence.

A girl.

A young girl

who'd been imprisoned.

She had been locked away, and she'd been punished for her magic.

Credence.

Can I come over to you?

Can I come over?

That thing killed my son.

I want justice.

I'll expose you for who you are and what you've done.

Look! Take photos.

Credence...

Credence, no!

Don't do this.

Please.

Keep talking, Tina.

Keep talking to him. He'll listen to you.

He's listening.

I know what that woman did to you.

I know that you've suffered.

You need to stop this now.

Newt and I will protect you.

This man,

he's using you.

Don't listen to her, Credence.

I want you to be free.

It's all right.

That's it.

Shh!

Don't!

- You'll frighten him! - Wands down!

Anyone harms him, they answer to me.

- Credence. - Credence.

No!

No!

For more infomation >> Credence Barebone Death | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:52.

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Opening Scene | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 3:32.

Dougal, settle down now, please.

It won't be long.

Next.

- British, huh? - Yes.

- First trip to New York? - Yes.

Anything edible in there?

No.

Livestock?

Must get that fixed. Um... No.

Let me take a look.

Welcome to New York.

Thank you.

Next.

For more infomation >> Opening Scene | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 3:32.

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Newt & Tina Escape Scene | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:54.

Don't do this, Bernadette. Please.

It don't hurt.

Tina.

Momma?

Tina.

Come on, pumpkin. Time for bed.

Are you ready?

Don't that look good?

You wanna get in, huh?

Hey, Sam.

- Hey, Queenie. - They need you downstairs.

I'll Obliviate this guy.

You ain't qualified.

Hey, Sam.

Does Cecily know you been seeing Ruby?

- How did you... - Let me Obliviate this guy,

and she'll never hear about it from me.

What are you doing?

Hush. Teen's in trouble. I'm trying to listen.

Jacob, where's Newt's case?

I think that guy Graves took it.

Okay. Come on.

What, you're not gonna Obliviate me?

Of course not. You're one of us now.

Tina.

It's okay.

Alohomora.

Aberto.

He would know some fancy spell to lock his office.

Okay, let's get the good stuff outta you.

Witch!

Mr. Scamander!

Don't panic.

What do you suggest I do instead?

Jump.

Are you crazy?

Jump on him.

Tina, listen to me.

I'll catch you.

Tina.

I'll catch you.

I've got you, Tina.

- Go!

Come on.

Leave his brains. Come on. Come on!

What is that thing?

Swooping Evil.

Well, I love it.

Get in.

For more infomation >> Newt & Tina Escape Scene | Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) | Movie Clip 4K - Duration: 4:54.

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Gov. proclaims Children of Fallen Patriots Day - Duration: 0:45.

THE EVENT WRAPS UP TONIGHT.

FAMILIES WHO LOST A LOVED ONE IN

THE LINE OF DUTY GATHERING AT

THE STATE HOUSE YESTERDA

GOVERNOR SUNUNU PROCLAIMED MAY

12 CHILDREN OF FALLEN PATRIOTS

DAY.

THAT FOUNDATION PROVIDES

SCHOLARSHIPS TO CHILDREN WHO

LOST A PARENT IN ACTIVE SERVICE.

GOLD STAR MOTHER NATALIE HEALY,

WHOSE SON, NAVY SEAL DAN HEALY,

WAS KILLED IN ACTION IN

AFGHANISTAN IN 2005, SAYS HER

GRANDCHILDREN BENEFITED GREATLY

FROM THE PROGRAM.

>> THIS IS JUST SO WONDERFUL AND

SUCH A GIFT TO US.

AND IT TAKES A LOT OF STRAIN OFF

THE MOTHER'S SHOULDERS, YOU

KNOW?

AND WORRYING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING

TO HAPPEN TO THE KIDS.

AMY: THE FOUNDATION IS NOW

For more infomation >> Gov. proclaims Children of Fallen Patriots Day - Duration: 0:45.

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Trevor Noah Stand Up ~ Trevor Noah Full Show HD - Duration: 55:18.

Thank you very much

Yeah

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much and see you. Thank you

Thank you welcome

Washington DC

Oh, you guys feeling good. Yeah?

Yeah, whoo whoo whoo you and that as well, and that as well

Lovely [I] love the sounds people make it so much fun

Yeah, we'll just we just thrown language out of the window. I like that. I feel like we've devolved against human beings [now]

Because that was the thing [that] separated us from the apes wasn't it the fact that we chose speech

Monkeys used to run around and scream

We were like no

English

But now we started to go back to that started to embrace our roots people get excited. Are you happy? I'm real happy how happy

[well], oh

That's one of my favorite sounds it sounds like someone having so much fun. They hurt themselves like you can plan ahead of power

so much fun

That's a weird thought I love and you know it's crazy that we all know what that sound means

We don't agree on anything in this world [race] religion politics, but that sounds that whoohoo

Has united us all

You can make that sound anyway people accept it as long as alcohol present

this that sound

It has to be alcohol. You can't make that's not anywhere else you can't make that sound in the office. It's unacceptable

If you [faust] won't allow as you come in x final email sent whoa

I'm sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sorry

Coming that sound in church, and that is why jesus died for our sins, whoa?

Sorry [my] go to happen

You can't do it, but everyone knows it everyone knows what who means it means happiness?

the happiness of the people

Strange - no one asked me to vote on it. I

Didn't get to choose

If I was to choose, I I don't know that I would pick woo who is the sound of happiness?

Strangely enough, I think it may be more after the sound of sadness

And I could see it at a funeral

Family Gathered around the concerts

He is streaming down their face posture reading the eulogy

It will

always remember Mary

as a loving mother a

caring friend

Foodie blogger

and wonderful sister

before we lay her to rest would you please join me now as we observe a moment of

[woohoo]

[about] standing there

There will be one big lady in the corner

Thank you very much sister

such a fun sound

Sound of happiness the sound of white happiness in particular in I've tracked it

I've searched for the source of [whoo-whoo], and I found it originated with white people

white white woman in particular

Answer a comes from that is the sound of a white woman's turn up. That is the sound

from her getting into the game [cami]

And that's when you know, it's odd

Because everyone else learned it from white woman. That's where it came from [you] know it spread through Society like a virus

It's not the natural sound anybody else makes why we'll make that sounding stink to me, but they weren't officer Knit like white

Men were the first ones to learn it because for them is sort of like a making coal

they know what it means they have to reciprocate like

But everyone else that you learn is the natural sound for them, but for nobody else like black people, [woohoo]

But it's not the natural sound black people make for fun

You know black [people] can [whoo-hoo] black people often do [whoohoo], but it's not instinctively a black sound of happiness

And I think it's because black people aren't comfortable with the [woohoo]

Deep down inside. There's a certain moment in [woohoo] when every black person stops enjoying it

It's just there's just a moment

When and maybe this is [just] my personal experiences, but I feel it sounds eerily similar to a police siren this just a moment

first fucking partner

just

Put your hands in the air

And keep them there

Not the sound of happiness in my [life]. That's not hope I guess that's why why people do it?

There's why people love calling the police, [so] they party like oh

My God the cops are here

Never make ahead

My believe why do you have a very different relationship with the police? I was trying explain this to my friend Dave

You know when we hang out and I do. What is it with black people in please

I'm like it's not black [people] don't like the police or hate the police

It's just that just the general we have a tumultuous history with the police one day we were driving

We're driving on the highway and the police car pulled up behind us and [I] got [tense]

I just got really tense and he's like dude. What's going on. I said the police [are] behind us

It was like yeah, and did you do anything wrong? [so] [that's] not the point

Because it really isn't

For white people that is the point

The police will send you to jail if you do something wrong as a black person you have a different relationship

the police may send you to jail just because

The I know that I was I was a driver

I got pulled over by the police for the first time in my life in America

And already I'm not very comfortable in driving in the United States

You know not because of the other side of the road, but because the outside of the car. I'm not used to that

you know

like I

always given to the calm the wrong

So I'll be shopping and I'll come back to my car confidently. I'll jump inside and put the things down and I'm like ah

And instead of getting out exit. [there] is just [it] there you can always think somebody is watching me, so I just say

And I act like I planned it all the way

Where is my driver?

Now is my job. [it] should have been you by now where allah. [oh] well again. He'll drive myself

Don't know why I do that

I'm not comfortable

You have [to] drive in Los Angeles, so I had a little rental car

I'm driving on the freeway and this police car pulls up behind me

He drives me irony for a little bit and they flashed his lights and I like oh he probably wants to go past and so

I moved over to the middle lane, and then he came with me

He flashed his lights again long as I go come on just go blows me man. He's good

[all] right back to the fire. He came back with me, and he does the crash like this

I was like what what was a year ago?

[Blondie's] [oh] [God], [I] think he was stopping me

I thought it was basically the vehicular equivalent of that moment on the sidewalk when you both don't know which way to go I

[thought] we were doing that without cause I got out

I thought that was happening

I thought that was happening actually he thought that I was evading him in the most polite Manner ever because he is irritating

He's like [allosaurus] our

Virus our Mantra. I can know the hell you were saying

[as] part of the problem, I don't think it's fair that police have speakers on their cars, and we don't I

Think this is a recipe for disaster. That's the first step in mending relationships as communication people

I don't know what the hell they tell us things, but I couldn't tell him he was like Glorify raw carrot [Raja], [huh]?

I have to speak I wouldn't have the ability to be like sir. I cannot see what you're saying in McQs, please

Enunciate yo, and speak clearly

No, no your words [buddy] usual

Talk to me talk to me. What do you need however all over be like okay? I will be pulling over right now

Thank you very much. It would be more effective, but I just know something like a lot of thought. Oh, brother

I don't know what the hell you would

Like what do you always like all over all over?

Authentic and so I stopped I pulled over right there where I was on the freeway which apparently is not supposed to do I didn't

Know this and who knows cuz I [just] know that [Brittney]. Tell me to do something

I do it free to pull over and then I stopped and he was like don't pull over another because you can be more specific

pull over because it's a pillow and

There's more appropriate you can't just come telling either get back into the road like this [dad] does not know what you want

Take the next exit, and [no] [weed] [Ronnie] and now he's guiding me along. It's like

I had a really angry GPS or get a [signal]

The way he's driving me like make a right take a right at the line nicorette

It's like I chose angry cop on my way

That's what it felt like when I turn turn laughs don't know I can laugh turn Leno recalculating

And so forth and so finally finally we stop we stop

I [blow] on the South Road he pulls over behind me and he gets out of the car

And he gets out. He goes keep your hands where I can see them. I?

Don't know what you can see or not see I don't know the very same instructions

I don't know what you can so now I'm landing this I

Don't know what you can speak or not. I'm strict right don't get me wrong

I try I just [know] the thing is I just want [to] die. That's all

I don't I just I just don't want to die so I know I don't look like but I'm not the diet type

I really I'm not like I'm a chill out guy who likes living

I don't want to die and the worst thing is I don't know how not to die

That's a thing. I don't know how not that. I could every day I turn on the TV

It seems like another black person is being shot. So I just want to know how not to get [shots]

You know I I try and learn

I really do I try and learn you know it only is all started in the [in] the lower the lower echelons of of enforcement

Community Watch Frozen women shop, Trayvon, The Young boy

And the story started off with man shoots boy everyone was like yeah, this is horrible

This is disgusting but in the news some strange eating the next day is forget and then they start asking other question

I was he wearing a hoodie. What was he doing? And why was he wearing a hoodie? I was like

Oh is that so that's so don't wear hoodie. That's what it is the hoodie

Very frightening you don't know what's going on on the day. Yeah most in Star wars. It's the creepiest thing ever

Hmm. It's the dark side

And so's like also if [I] were a good evening. I'm safe now

I was going to shoot me if I don't wear [woody]

But then if you cut forward and then the next thing you notice is Mike Brown in Ferguson

When he gets shocked by the police unarmed it's shot

I know like a man was unarmed, and he got shot [and] I was like [God]

This is disgusting they say but also he approached the police officer apparently and he may or may not have scuffled with it

We don't know, but he approached him. I was like

Oh, okay, okay? [so] that don't worry hoody and don't approach the police don't go towards the police you see police

You are the other way it goes all the way from okay cool. I've got it. So nobody know approaching the police

This is it. I'm learning

I'm learning but then but then the next guy comes on the news Eric garner in [in] [New] York City

And there he is he's standing and the police they apprehend him and they start talking him anyone go towards them

He doesn't go he's standing to his answer

He just choked to death by six policemen

And then they come on the news next and I go well you got to understand for these police

I mean, this was a this was a pretty big guy. He was a pretty big guy. He was scary

He was a really scary big black guy, and I'm like okay cool

So don't be a big black guy and then you should be fine

Don't be a big black guy, and then I said every day. I look in the mirror, and I'm like good job

Nowwhere, Hoodie boy already and don't approach the Policeman don't be a big black man

I think I think I've got it all down

I think and then I turn on the TV and then I see walter scott a 50-something year-old man running away

From a policeman hitting shots in the back running away

from the Policeman and again the media for some strange reason

Just seems to forget what the main purposes of the discussion is because um they want to go unarmed man shot in the back

They - they like who was Walter Scott

Let's find out about it. Apparently he had a charge of assault against him in

1987 so

[he] get suffered

How hard did he punch the guy that he gets suffered in 2015?

then [loose] again to the future and then he came back to get him and then what happened [I]

Mean was 18 everyone by somebody in the [eighties]. I don't understand. What is the big deal it was seeing the craziest things

They're like Walter scott. I mean this is everybody talking [about] the police Aubert. Let's talk about him. Why did he run?

Why did he want?

Good you didn't want to go to jail?

Are we really going to live in a world where police no [longer] want to chase criminals that what we say?

[it] always [they] police no longer

Wanted Chase crews that best of all points of the game isn't it we say there's kids cops and robbers

Yes, you've seen the movies. That's what makes this fun freeze you can't catch me copper, and then you run

As it makes environment?

now police no longer [oil-change]

[schools] we going to live in a world where police can you imagine what that's going to do to the movie industry is going to

Be horrible, [we] will be watching bad boys five Martin Lawrence and will Smith free, okay?

end of movie Done the Worst movie ever

This is the strangest thing of they are so weird quiz questions that have nothing to do with [a] man being [shot]

Who's unarmed [they] [come] and go also also a note it is a walter scott. Oh sixteen thousand dollars in child support

to the cop

not black

That would be a different [story]. That would be like if [that] was the mother of his children that shot him

Then you know what I may. I may actually be on her side you never know

I might have been there like you know [once] you. Shoot him in the back girl. That's right

You shoot him think [he] [d] angled pay after he play you stood him in the back thinking he can run away [from] his

responsibilities, shoot him dead

But this is nothing to do with it [a] policeman shoots an unarmed man

He's running away, and they have the nerve [ever] nerve that crazy enough to say this is this officer feared for his life

He was afraid afraid of what the man's running away

There's nothing less frightening than somebody running away [from] you. That is the definition of fear

He's running away. The only thing he could have done to be less [threatening]. It's a cluck like a chicken

There's nothing less frightening with a man running away from look like what are you afraid of you can't say he was running [over] I?

Was afraid I'm afraid of what he's running away from you that makes no sense you seen him from behind no one's threatening from behind

They're running away. There's no one who's frightened like maybe Kim Kardashian, but nobody else

Is running away from you? You shoot him in the back?

[another] guy, I was afraid afraid of what we have abandonment issue. Why would you shoot him?

My Dad left when I was five

It's no sense

So I don't know how not [to] die

Yeah, I am in my car on the side [of] the road the random streets in Los Angeles

The whole time instead. I want to die. [I] lied I heard that and the policeman gets out of his car. [he]

starts walking

Towards me

And his hands is by his side that's doing this

and I've watched Westerns I

Know what this means

This is never good this never turns into friendship

So I'm starting [to] [stress], and I'm looking at him in the side mirror of my car

And I'm panicking because objects in the mirror are closer than they appear

So [usually] I can say at any moment, and I don't know why I don't know

I did this like as soon as [you] go. I panic. I completely panicked and I launched myself out the window

I took my body, and I threw it out the window, and I fell onto the side of the cartridge like

And onto the settlor basically went back to nature. I thought of a predator don't make eye contact and you play dead

That's all I did. [I] just tell this head of [the] stop jay which freaked him out. He was completely

He was just like what the heck hey. Hey what what's going on? I said, I'm sorry. I'm uh

I'm sorry like [sir]. What are you sorry for whatever it is that's going to make you should be I'm sorry

I'm sorry officer. He's a circuit back in the car get back in the car, [sir] no

Not on a diet, please. I'm not falling for that trick please up as well. Hey

Sir, you know. I'm not going to kill you [just] get back on the clock of it

I mean shake this guy was just as freaked out as I was I'm not going to lie [cuz] I mean when I put myself

in his shoes

What does he do imagine that you're standing on the salad or a guy jumps out of his own car didn't even call for backup?

What does he say ten-four? I need backup any what do you need? [I] got [a] black eye kid killed himself

Ten-four you gotta make something up better than that will back you up. Don't worry. Let's be fun. What do you say? It's like?

[oh] kid the times freaking out. I was freaking out and

I'm lying there and the approaches slowly

He pushes he finally gets to get into my arms, and he's like get back in the car

So we go back to magazine stops me back at my window compact about dollars please

ah

Sure, sir calm down calm down

Oh good. It was a desire. He's like sir. Have you been drinking?

[Missin] Homesman I'm been drinking so okay calm down

Do you know why I pulled you over sir?

Is because I'm black

Now I wasn't being an ass nor was

I joe can I just been informed that as a black person in America if you drive a really nice car

There's a good chance you're going to get pulled over by the police yeah, so in my world

He was doing his job as I had been told

Yeah, I wasn't judging him in fact. I was a I was a little flattered. I was like well. Thank you very much, [Mr.]. Officer

Who noticing this bad boy around here? That's right 2015 baby. I

was really excited he was more freaked out though because I thank you too much because I'm black and

Then he did this thing that I've come [to] learn is the reaction of white people in America

Who when they hear [information] they can't process fast enough?

Have this this thing with a smile on the outside, but on the inside

It's also if they short circuiting

Like and he he looks at me. He goes. I'm sorry what I said because I'm black

That's why you pull me over. He goes no. No. No here. We are no. That's that is not

Okay

No, no, that is not

also [bad] for him [I]

Think we both learned a lot that day the two of us grew from [that] experience I

Was speeding that's why he pulled me over

But he let me go

Yeah

I'm having a great time. I really am

Not getting speeding fines during my time out here some of you may or may not know I got a job. This is fantastic

That's and that's that's how my grandmother put it funny enough

I phoned my grandmother to tell her that I'll be working on the daily show and she was really excited to the

Coachella

I'm so happy for you

When's Dad [you] got [that] job?

I said no, no granny already had a job which like no you did you?

Did you have her office, but notes like that it wasn't [their] job?

Of course she gave the [rock]

My mom was a bit better

Cause her to tell her the news and to give you a bit of a [backstory]

I've got two younger brothers [all] right, so one brother is nine years younger than me

And then the youngest is 20 years younger than me right [and] so the youngest

just became

One of the student Council members in E school right so he gone to the student council

So I phoned my mom to tell her my good news and on the phone and I'm [like] [oh] mom

I don't know if you heard when the other danish when she's like oh my baby

I'm so excited all pretty this is wonderful. Well done, baby

I'm so happy for you, and did you hear what happened to your brother?

I'm like no other oh, he's on the student Council [at] in school

Oh, I'm so excited both my boys are doing big things in the world

Yeah, some things are bigger than others

[no], it's all the same and like you say that but I mean you know

How are you know ha ha ha?

That'll keep fine. Fine you and never student council. So [that's] [to] really like what?

the Wonderful experience

Changed my life completely coming to the u.s.. Like people are smiling at me more. I just be my imagination

Clay noses at the airports

I mean flying in probably a combination of of my job and the fact that the ebola crisis is now passed

Down probably the worst of the worst time ever is flying into America as an African

During the ebola crisis it was the craziest thing. I've ever seen in an airport

You'd walk in the b tension

[it's] [a] sure everybody into a special quarantine area ask you questions

Questions that they don't [normally] ask the number one question they always ask for sir. Have you been in contact with ebola?

They're always on stirrer. Have you been in contact with Ebola [I]?

Love I love the sincerity of the question like there was a chance my answer could be yes

And next up didn't do it

like what kind of person do you think I am that I'll still be embarking on a journey having knowingly been in contact with the

Most deadly disease on a plan like who do you think I have there are b? [dela]? [I] don't care

[who] can comment zero refund policy?

I'm going to tell you what even if it kills me Mickey mouse and everybody else I'm going

Have you been in contact with ebola?

And the reason is like a boulder is like a distant relative

I love the phrasing have you been in contact with a boat yeah? I spoke to him last week is doing well

Thank you very much for asking

Ebola makes flying a nightmare

We're the worst flight. I was coming from Johannesburg South Africa going to San Francisco

Flew and then because the distance of the flight [jets] you stopped over in Washington, and they change over your flight

So you've gone to another plane and an airplane section, San Francisco

And when we were changing planes when we're switching over the air hole station the second plane tells the passengers

That Africans are coming on board

And so because of this they're going to be spraying the cabin with the life pesticide

[now] I understand like when people are [afraid] they do stupid things I get it

But what I didn't understand was

Why she told them this as we were boarding the plane?

Have the decency to speak behind our backs

Could you're walking onto the aircraft [and] she takes a little microphone. She goes ladies and gentlemen please note

We have some passengers joining us in the south

Africans like they're coming from Africa everybody [completes] in their seats as these passengers find the old place

we're going to be spraying the capital with a life pesticide due to the ebola crisis and

Feel free to cover your nose eyes ears and mouth the pesticide shouldn't be harmful

But it may be so if everybody would just cover up, and we'll be coming down shortly as everybody take their place

Thank you very much. She says this as we bought the plane. This is our introduction ebola tries and really like

You know how hard it is to find a [stitch] in a plane with people that think you're bringing them dead

Do you know about it?

but you're sitting there and everyone you go it almost felt like that scene from Forrest gump like I'm working on the plane feel like

I know Spain was walking down trying to find your Jenny

finally everyone seated and takeoff

Clan heads out to San Francisco and it was by far

most tents lights I

Have ever been on I

coughed once

the [plane] [Shop]

Wasn't even a bad cop. It's like a little kid gloves, but that's what the guy opposite me like

You do calm down man calm down. It's just a you say

Okay

The one was so stressed the plate was [temp] no one wanted food nor snacks

We finally land at the airports the plane is texting to the gate and everyone everyone was waiting for that seatbelt sign to go

Everyone was just like it was more than normal because already I didn't understand why people are in a hurry on claim to get out

Of their seat like you [can't] go anyway

Forever plane lands everyone's sister come on. Come on. Come on. You. Can't go, and you're gonna go there

That's where you individually go there is it come on come on food?

Yeah, I

Don't understand why people lie to hurry

So you know who's even worse?

But people at the window you have no right to be in a hurry you see me like come on. Come on

Come on boom yeah

Yeah, yeah, talking my logic trusted me now right now

Yeah, and I'm glad I didn't sit now for two more minutes is much more comfortable

stadiums people's wait

Ebola made it 100 times worse because [not] everyone wants to get out of the plane

coughing sneezing you can feel the tension and as we about to leave a

Hostess comes back on the [pho] ladies and gentlemen back in your seats everybody back in your seat

Unfortunately right now. We have a health and safety official and needs to come on board just to make sure that everything is [alk]

Duty Ebola we're just going to make sure that everything is fine

So please stay in your seats ladies and gentlemen again apologies for the delay

she says this and then

This man comes on a health and safety official right and he has with him and list of all the African passengers and a thermometer

right A

digital laser thermometer

And he comes on in his job is to see an old African passengers and get their temperature

And I think the way, it works is like if you're very hot then you've got ebola right?

And you've got to live it works on scans the passages and guess the thing walks down ticks their names up to liscus

Temperature gets the names temperature names finally gets to where I'm seated and does the way this thing and the passenger opposite me

moves to my aisle

Looks at me looks at my name

Looks back at me, [and] then he just shrugs and walks away

Almost as if I wasn't African enough

I've never felt so conflicted in my life

Don't get me wrong like I never want anyone to [think] I have ebola

But I also don't want anyone to assume that I can't have [you] bola

You don't know me. You don't know what I'm capable after all they born in the world

Let's go cheer myself up chin up trevor. You can have ebola [chin] up kid. Come on. Come on. Come on

You can have a bola

He walks to the back of the plane

Scans the rest of the passengers [gets] the tail, and he realizes he's now missing a name

So he looks back through the plane can't figure. What's going on. I know it's me

I know, it's me, but I'm not going to help

He had his chance he had a good ebola man, and he let him go

And so I was hispanic and as he panics the air hostess comes back down the plane. She'll see what's going on

I need to get the people [out]. He goes yeah, no

I got a problem ebola list I can't figure out where they where the passenger is and she's like yeah

I gotta get the people out here like look

I know this is killing me as well, but I just [gotta] figure out yeah. Yeah, I don't get them out. I'm dead

I'm dead I gotta get the people going okay. I don't just calm down

Just give me a second and now I can feel the tension building in the plane people start whispering

There's rumors going around

Because some people are hearing pieces of the conversations like broken telephone as it goes down the [plane] [all] [day] hearing is yeah

Air Ebola Ebola killing miracle

Yes yet yet everybody out [of] here dad let him feel the tension

People start looking at each other a guy opposite me didn't even hide. He was like it's you. Yo

You follow you was like you I was not happy for something that something like a cue cameras you really coughing

I think [it'll] shut up. Oh come on you. Oh come on you now

[wow], kill you now, I'll kill you first

Everyone in the play starts [leaving] the people are going crazy

Everyone is stressed people [want] to leave in the middle of the Chaos in the midst of all of us

I'll never forget

Middle Eastern man, maybe four rows behind me [I] dressed in very traditional Garb

stands up he

[sticks] his head into the conversation being had

Between the Air hostess and [a] safety official he goes excuse me both of me. Sorry to interrupt

Not to see what you are talking. I just want to say maybe you want to check

I know this gentleman over there is cozy little bit the man

Survived the identical wearing hood something about him. I don't know something

Simply will be uncomfortable. [is] that maybe you want to check there? I said you know you know what I see something say something else

My gravy at to augment

How the wheel has turned my friends?

You quickly [forget] there was a time when muslims with a black people of the sky?

And yet now you have deserted me

As I thought he'd be on my side, I thought if I need anyone understood, what would be like we stigmatized with that man

So we shared from the average look over and be like don't worry brother. I go to the back

Steady sold me down the river throw me under the bus like it's your turn now

I'm free bitches

And he was I don't blame you [once]

[coz] Ebola was one of the craziest things I've ever seen in terms of

the human condition, how quickly with Total panic

One minute, I'll be flying. I'll see people of middle Eastern descent getting cold you know random selections

Peeping through the machine and then ebola happened [a] lot of a sudden the focus shifted

Focus shifted now as Africans in pulled aside Africans waiting middle easterners were cruising through security

and

Then almost as quickly as [it] started it flipped back overnights, and [I'll] never forget when it happened

right after the Charlie hebdo attack in Paris

That attack happened and almost the next day ebola wasn't a thing anymore

Middle Easterners were back in the spotlights normal service had been resumed

Because after Charlie hebdo [I] would walk through airports and no one gave a damn. They didn't care about me where I was from

all the bananas in my bag

I just I just cruised them security

Charlie Hebdo

Terrorist attack in France everyone did with Cnn breaking news terrorists have attacked Charlie Hebdo headquarters a

News unconfirmed reports are saying 12 people have been killed by terrorists

But everyone said they were terrorists it was written because we didn't know that they were terrorists. We just knew that their middle eastern

but immediately we're into terrorists because if you're middle Eastern

That's a terrorist. That's the world. We live in now. Yeah, if you middle Eastern terrorism is your trademark

It's so crazy

How easy it is to get people to hate the group of people because that's what happened?

Charlie hebdo, and then everyone started saying things about muslims these damn muslims. Do you down we gotta Stop islam?

That's what we got to do. We got to stop these islamists these Muslims now. I'm not saying all muslims are terrorists

[but] all terrorists are Muslims

It sounds really smart doesn't it sounds really [smart], but it's not it's stupid in the tape speech. That's what we

Terrorism is not a [racist] and acts

As involved over time yes right now. We're dealing with

extremism

islamic terror in some parts of the world

But if you go to other possible [lost] [emotive] terrorists as though for your different face

You'll england

20 years ago, [and] you said was a terrorist they show you a drunk Irishman, [I]

Don't need to say drunk. I could've just an Irishman

Was a time when nelson mandela was labeled a terrorist like terrorism is an act. It's not a face

People say these people these muslims you gotta admit to an awful. Lot of them

Awful lot [of] them doing the same thing

Yeah, but you know who's not [terrorist]

Most Muslims

Most Muslims are not terrorists

I'm not even Muslim, but it gets to me because I'm like most wasn't people [like] yours

I know how you know [this] because we still around

They've had ample opportunity to take us out people. There's a billion muslim people on the planet

They met every chance they could have killed us using those falafels they sell us off to midnight when we come another car

It could have wipes us all out

But they kill acrobats

They've had the mean

It's so weird to see our prejudices the way people are labeled in [the] media and society

[it's] not just muslim people you see with black people as well

People saying these things like you know I remember when [there] when the riots were happening in Baltimore

People quickly jump these thugs these are a bunch of thugs running around these thugs you know I'm starting to think black people like crime

That's what I'm starting to think that the only way they can deal with a black people like [crime]

No, no that people don't like crime

Because you know who's not a criminal?

most black people most black people are not singer

Mac people hate crime

Just like everybody else so like black people are cheering crime on or something they watching a black eye. Do some like yeah

[yeah], when black people see a black person doing a crime they also looking at the [prison] like dude. It's nothing crazy

I'm gonna fight the act love that face not a face that you put [cities] [up]

That's not the same thing and everybody has it you know

[you're] [middle-eastern] and you do something to spear a black person

That person [gets] [shot] [in] a bad neighborhood the first story though

His need was always lead with the same thing and today in Compton a man was shot in what is suspected to be gang-related violence?

So he's got her in violence, but ever since anything else there was just two guys gang-related probably gang-related

Why do you say that well because you know in this area? There's a

Pop

Where's Integrity boys guys doesn't matter who it is

[it] could be two kids someone got shot the three year old was shot today by a four year old [and] what is

suspected to be gang-related violence

[the] kids yeah they recruit very young

Wasn't a mistake. No. It's not a mistake

It's never a mistake

But if it's in a rich neighborhood the story changes because you'll never hear them reporting the same thing about the [Hampson's]

And today in the ham since a man was shot in what is suspected to be gang-related violence?

The [burberry] Gang has been known to operate around these parts

They never [sale] in fact you more like you see the police commissioner going up a lot of we just conduct an investigation

we

found out that a

Firearm was discharged earlier today and a bullet left the

weapon

penetrating a victim and

We're going to investigate whether whether it was misfired, or I'm sorry to say this did someone shoot the gun well

we're not we're not ruling anything out right now, but uh

We're checking to see if there was a mechanism failure or what about the person well?

We don't think that this was intentional. We don't so wait

We live in a world where you investigate a gun before you initiate a rich white man

Is that what you say no no, no, that's that's not what we're saying, but the gun is black

But that's not the point the point in

So weird how our prejudices have given everyone their late?

Middle East is there's something there a terrorist black person does something?

Their Gang relates, [Era] thug [but] the white guy walks into a church killing nine people dead

what do they lead with on the news and today in an

Isolated incident [a] lone gunman walked into a church opening fire and killing nine people. It's always a lone gunman

Yeah, a lone gunman with no ties to society whatsoever. They were separated as quickly as possible. I love how they do that

He kept to [himself] and was notoriously

unfRiendly had no friends whatsoever

No friends really no, no friends not even one

No

Not even on Facebook

Everyone is friends on Facebook come are you telling the guy had no friends like as the shooting happens. It was like

What dylan I'm trying? I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying

I'm trying

the weirdest thing ever and

[the] first thing they [always] go to is

Mental instability as they go to the first thing [never] go with Terrorism

What happened are we always saying this was tears well?

We're not going to jump to [that] conclusion of this was a young man. Who was rarely mentally? He was unstable

He was a troubled young man, but he was a terrorist

Committed Terrorist Act walked into a building

Shot a bunch of people to try and spread a message of hatred [right] he was trying to pass something

He was trying to do something

as an act of terror

Well look no, not necessarily. He was a troubled young man. Yes and a terrorist

He [was] mentally [unstable] just like yours

That's exactly what a tariff is there's no known reason to blow [yourself] up. That is ridiculous

pretty

butchers [fema] [terrorists]

It's we it's almost like without realizing it what they saying on

The news is you know this young white man is clearly struggling struggling with something. I mean uh because uh

Why would you forgo all that privilege? Why would you I?

Mean he was a young and white man. Why would you throw that all away?

By darn anything with the minority I get it that sucks, but I mean I would you throated he must be crazy?

This is madness. I refuse to be potables. I refuse to live in the world who will deny white people the moniker of terrorists?

That's racism people. That's what that is

If a white man through hard work and determination commits an act of terror he loves to be called a terrorist

[he] worked for a damage. You don't deprive them of [that] because of the color of his skin

To give it to him and you put him up there bin walid and Charlie

Will will have our prisoners don't get me wrong. Oh my God I?

Try to be better. [I] really do I

Realized every now and again. I do things that I'm not particularly proud of

And for instance whenever I fly into America I've been out of the country and flying back into America

I wish tried to fly on Middle Eastern Airlines

specifically

Fly on emirates or qatar. It's yet one of those and the reason I do this is

because I feel

There's less chance that

somebody

oh

That someone and this may sound a little bit [racist] [give] every right to be offended

[I] feel like the less chance that somebody will attack one of those planes

For a few reasons number one because they're not proving a point

Planes already Muslim on Muslim run. They're not converting anybody and secondly and more importantly on my side

I I think there's a small chance somebody could defuse the situation

Someone could talk them down. Just because they speak the same language

That's that's awful terror for me the fact [that] you don't understand what the person says they're speaking a rabid arabic

puts fear in the Hearts of all men I

love

You you never think good things when you hear arabic

Now watch we watch too many movies and TV shows like you whenever you hear arabic then some bad happens

They immediately that's always going to happen

[look]

[there's] never something cool or sexiest ever a hole in the wall of the [book] [so] [colonel] one way

Never that

So it makes you think it makes you think a certain way. I know I know I'm not any difference

I was on a flight my first Middle Eastern flights

flying on an emirates plane and this man

Emerged from the Galley had a long beard. He was carrying a box and he just went off. He's like ha

ha

ah

chicken clean

chicken

sorry, I

I get really excited with chicken. I'm sorry for that. Sorry

my friend excited usual [rectified] satire of the Flavor

Wow, I'm thinking I love chicken so much the rule. Is that there is the black thing?

So that's racist

There's a little thing [that] makes me think there's a chance that someone understands the language

They may be able to talk the guy down

They could be it could be a terrorist on the plane [now] with a suicide vest [we] flying

40,000 feet in the sky man jumps off losing his head. There you ha

Ha and just maybe maybe some guy will be opposite of like hi

What are you doing?

I'm going to block this plan to show everybody that a live [grade]

Yeah, but do we know this

reporting [Element] [is]

So what are you doing? [I] wanted to show love you the power. What are you saying? I should learn and you know

Are you saying a lot of muslims? Is that what you're saying ah?

[are] you saying we do not know the power of a light? Oh, you're saying you're saying [about] muslims. What are you saying?

No, my friend things. I was not trying to thank you

I was just trying to kill you listen to whatever that. I wanted to show you. What are you showing me? Huh?

Are you saying at a little place?

That's what you're saying

You're better looking than me [you] think I'm not supposed in just because I'm watching cody with a chance of meatballs. That's what you think

What I'm not saying I wanted to what are you showing you so nothing? You make us look bad? Why don't you preach?

Why don't you talk to people up? This is not Islam. What are you doing with your stupid dress [bla] [Bla] [Bla]?

You make us all look bad

No, no, [I] was looking like you're not trying nothing. No even good your best backwards. You don't even know what you're doing here

[so] this is my first time I've never done this before yeah, yeah, story story, sit down, shut up

It's something I dunno if I can load [so] hard you can eat. It don't worry you can do it. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah?

[I'll] do anything that makes my flying experience a little [bit] [more] comfortable

It has [a] fun where you really are thank you very much for coming out. Thank you. I appreciate

if you see

even oil to me

Marineland literally it means the world to me stand-up. Comedy changed my life forever

[I] don't think I would have ever had the opportunity to travel grew up in Soweto in South Africa

Thank you. Thank you. [I] didn't choose it for thinking

And I don't [satan] like in like a sob story way, you know because everyone was poor in so it's room. Which was cool

You know like when everyone's put together it's cool. It's fun. Yeah, you'll feel. It's as much

So not like anyone can't easily ah you are poor

Yeah, so are you?

This sucks

But I probably never would have traveled the world word not for stand-up. Comedy, you know

I'm the first person in my family to the board an airplane

first person in my family to ever get kicked off an airplane I

Would have never I would have never learned about America would have never come out places like Washington DC

Would never learn to drive another side of the road I would have never learned about charming racism

Had I not come to this beautiful country

Probably something [that] changed my [life] forever charming racism

classic American Charming Race I

Never knew there was such a thing growing up, and I thought I knew all about racism

I always you know coming from the home of some of the best racism in the world I am

No, I don't mean to brag but South Africa is by far like we've got with a top quality rating for them out there like

it's

Handcrafted you get rid something like that anymore like I've seen racism all over the world to be honest the standards have dropped

It's not what it used to be like I'm I'm talking about quality racism. You know now

It's cheap and mass-produced probably made in China now. I'm talking about

real racism

And America showed me show me a wonderful new type. I you know I've always considered myself a racism connoisseur

I appreciate the finer Racism's in life. I not all reasons. Don't get me wrong

I have my favorites have my [not-so] favorites. You know like blatant racism. I love I love blatant racist

You know exactly where you stand with the person it's often old people that exhibit blatant racism

They tell you exactly how they feel this is what I think about you you like yeah, and you're gonna die soon

You share?

[theirs] Racism is I don't particularly care for

Like Subtle racism. [I] don't like really don't like suck. You know what people don't tell you they're racist is leave a series of clues

Hope you'll figure it out for yourself. [I] hate that you'll say things like we don't need your people around here

who

your people

tall people

No, damn it your people

Friendly Viru

No, I'm talking about your I'm not gonna help you say it

Did you believe it so much say and have the [balls] stand behind your convictions say it's only the series of clues

And I'm working this out for what is raising Sodoku are you serious?

to say it the cloud

but on justified

Rather embrace it be Blatant all the American and be charming I

discovered charming Racism in a place called, Lexington, Kentucky

And if you've ever been, but you really need to go

It's a beautiful place old school charming racism with a smile and the tip of a hat

Everyone in Ableton [Heather's] vibe. We smile a charm [that] draw all the southern draw. I love it so much

They were they would speak out there the grammars horrible, but it's still beautiful

So the sentences don't really make sense to be like y'all. I never done gaussian um them out and like [that's] test

There's not English your autocorrect is broken. I don't know what that but it's for

It's beautiful in fact when they speak really fast sometimes it sounds like someone sing a banjo inside their mouth that

Until it sounds like [gee] I asked two men for directions, and they started arguing was most beautiful sound I've ever heard in my life

But I was like where you going boy, and I'm going to the theater Kedar

He said all y'all getting on the waianae Road

Maybe I don't see non that our way the print was like now laying low and Obama really long get on site

[they] [leave] all gone. Don't mean only been on the getting [old] me finally going man on the game. Don't be

It sounded like someone started a mumford & Sons concert in their mouth

One minute they were talking and then they got into in the guy was like nail all get on why no sighs I've [failed] [again]

don't make [Finn] alone now get on the

[game's] life, I'll get a long way [coming] around me everything all day

Ya know like I don't even know what they get all the warning

They were gonna say now [I] [can] leave oh fine, and then all the game, [okay] killed again that way

[nager]

The reason I'll never forget, Lexington though

Because I made a woman out there

The gorgeous gorgeous, I'll never forget [-] until the day I die

she walks into the Lobby of the theater we are standing with some friends and

she was absolutely stunning [a]

classic Southern Belle she had long big [blond] hair

Giant boobs

She stretched herself into the Lobby pushing people out the way

She made her way straight for me straight from cancer

He points me in the face that you're like excuse me, baby excuse me honey. May I catch you from owen please

Yes, of course hi. Hi. How are you? How are you Madison, honey? [I] just want to let you [know] that you're by [far]

very funniest and

handsomest nigger I done ever seen

and I would like

I was so shocked [cuz] [I] [lit] most handsome. Not handsomest

The grammar is just crazy man [you]

[guys] have been too much fun. Thank you so much for coming out tonight

Okay, [barbecue]. Thank you very much

you

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