[Applause]
where did all this begin for you I mean
how did Tony Robbins become what was the
evolution for you to do and be what you
are I'm not quite sure what I am i
picked that's under construction I love
her on the way to becoming yeah you know
become a lot from where I was I love
people I always have them the kind of
person that I remember when I was very
young my mom told me a story and she
still today everybody now since then
that you know I'd be fighters all they'd
go to the liquor store to get bread and
milk and I come back and she say where's
the bread and milk and I said there was
a poor man there and again the money she
said World War I just I just love people
and so it was a natural outcropping of
some frustrations in my own life and
wanting to solve them figure things out
I looked for solutions and I looked to
books because I didn't have any role
models per se and and then as I made
changes myself I shared out with my
friends and then I saw them make changes
and get excited and I got a kind of
addicted to the process I got a lot of
love from helping people and I do now
enormous Lee but now it's millions of
people and I'm addicted to that process
and I think it's a positive addiction I
I want to learn I love to go I love to
share if I was in high school I was
mistress solution everybody called me
you had a problem I had a solution
especially if you're a girl but what
were you drill driving to be what did
you think was the route when you were in
high school well it's a nice call still
hoping to be a professional athlete you
know so that that wasn't working out too
well because I was very small I was 5-1
and I started very late on a six seven
now I tell people the difference is
personal growth honestly my personal
exhibit one for personal growth yeah
exactly I didn't know I just when I was
in high school I early on about 16 years
old I had someone become president I'm
States cuz I how can I contribute that
most of society and I went to a seminar
by a man named Jim Rohn he still seminar
speaker and I took a week span as
working forty dollars a week as a
janitor and it was thirty-five dollars
to the evening seminar so his big
decision and I listened to him speak I
came out so inspired most of they said I
already believed
I was an authority figure saying you
really could be this way and and so I
said I'll become president States to do
that be practical you got to be a
senator do that even Carson do that be
either state assemblyman I worked all
way back to what kind of you tomorrow
which is run for student body president
that wasn't a popular kid so I ran like
a real campaign I went to all the groups
and said what do you really want I won't
lie to you I wasn't found out whether we
thought it could be done or not I said
this won't get done I think this can and
and I want and I started to believe that
if you're totally sincere and you care
about people and you're real and you
work your tail off you can reach anybody
and so I started to doubt I started
speaking and and then it just kind of
grew you know grew into a business for
me eventually I went to work for Jim
Rohn designer and then I started my own
company and I brokered other speakers
and then gradually I became better than
most of the people are his brokerage and
then I came across tools where I could
that other people who developed where I
could take some of the lifetime phobia
and instead of taking the traditional
four or five six years to the famous
story about something up at that Namba
it was if somebody had some kind of
phobia seven years and you did it in 15
minutes yeah and but what made my career
was that I was attacked by the
psychiatrist on the radio saying you're
a liar you're a charlatan people like
you should not be allowed on the radio
you can't do this and so I was a real
rebel frankly I was like in his face
saying gray are you a scientist if you
are then test your hypothesis
give me your patient I'll be at the
Holiday Inn tomorrow night so it was
like this shootout and it was like a
movie he brought her I wiped it out I
wrap the snake around her a phobia is an
uncontrollable physical response to some
stimulus you know it's not just fear
it's shaking spitting and at the end you
still he finally worked on it for seven
years so that became my signature was to
challenge and then gradually I grew
because I was really just trying to
prove to everybody and myself as well
that I was worthy rather than you know
maturing a little bit and just knowing
that there are skill sets that are
valuable for everybody I mean there's a
common denominator stops most people
because what I'm not trying to simplify
you work and it's very helpful to do it
I'd say there's two things everybody on
earth because I've been with more than
two million people in the individual
committed sessions from you know write
the kid to the president you know and
all countries all the worlds I mean if
I've been tries it could be yet to be an
idiot not to see that there are patterns
while everybody may want different
things you know you may have grown up
whining life to be a certain wire
a different way we have the same needs
world like for humans we all need
certainty and we don't have what we
freaked out what a certain do you mean
certainty is if you were out of time
your library uncertain about your
relationship or your health or your
career or your finances that you freak
out
it is a survival instinct to be certain
how you get it it's totally individual
some people get up as smoking a
cigarette and they relax and they feel
certain that they're okay and they're
comfortable some people by eating
somebody by doing drugs some people do
it by developing a skill set that's so
strong so you'll do it by you know
knowing they can tear other people down
sure know so everybody needs the need
the only question is do you do in a way
that is positive neutral or negative to
your life long turn them into other
people's lives so we need certainty but
if we get total certainty we freaked out
because we get bored so God has a sense
of humor we have a need for uncertainty
we have a need for variety for surprise
for challenge right and most people go
back and forth between these that's why
they've always got a problem because
they're they're trying to resolve it
rather than finding that this paradox is
a part of life and there's a way to
experience both when you go watch a
movie and you rent a video that you've
already seen it's because you're certain
it's good and you're hoping it forgot
enough that there's right and you get to
meet both needs there's a way to do it
we have a need for significance we have
a need to know that our life is unique
and special so some people do it by
putting a gun to someone's head because
it takes no education or background
instantly I'm significant yeah because I
killed somebody or someone even you
don't have to respond him you don't have
to kill you
some people do it by loving more than
others some people do a bit evolving
skills if somebody's doing 22 earrings
you know everybody I do it primarily by
my sense that honestly it sounds
horrible but to be honest is I feel like
I care more than almost anybody else
that I will just do anything for those I
love which includes the guy I meet on
the street frankly you know the people I
meet the seminars the people I don't
mean as that's my nature I love that so
I get that sense of significance to me
in other words Tony says to himself I am
unique because I care more what you and
which is what I know as well alright but
I care so buddy said there it was so
explain that to me if you know it's both
but it is the guiding principle for you
because it makes it you define your
neatness because well because no you say
yourself as I can and I'll act more on
my caring yeah and those they will
produce the result for people so where's
the book that they're other the other
people it carries it more
I know that's in the moment we all
bought ourselves in the moment I taught
myself that but I always come back to
reality go no I don't care mark but I
care enough to be a really unique person
and I also really have some unique skill
sets and empowering people and part of
life is the balance between your book
and the truth I'm the great poet from
south games Dickey the great put who
wrote a lot of interesting things and he
once said to me that in the middle of
the night his wife he woke up and his
what she's and his wife said what's
wrong I said I don't I don't know and
she said you've got to be yourself and
he says I know I know but what self
[Laughter]
you're not a multiple you can't survive
in the society you one-dimensional
person you can't I don't say maybe when
last needs I'll just mentioned is
connection and love because if you go
for significance a lot of people that we
both deal with rightly there's a lot of
those people their whole life is about
getting significance but we all really
want is love but love is a complex thing
you know it can be taken away very
easily you can someone love you one
moment and pretend they don't the next
much easier to make a lot of money
easier to interview somebody much easier
to do something else that you feel more
control over because you had to do what
then to love well you're vulnerable to
what somebody else may think or feel
that's how most people feel not all so
if you're totally unique you feel
separate and you miss the feeling of
love if you're totally webbing graft and
people go I'm so loving but we're one
now where's my identity and you can get
that love by having a problem is the
most common way in our society so if you
said to me Tony how's it going and I
said oh my god like coming with public
and I mean forty million dollars in a
day and my daughter's on a new TV show
and my son is doing so well and I'm
totally in love and got it out of fruit
and you go screw you yeah baby how's it
gonna go I'm going through a divorce
right now
it's the hardest decision of my life my
wife in hurt she's a good woman to feel
her hurt kills me it's hard on my
daughter right
you know I'm exhausted I had two hours
sleep yesterday and you go hey I
understand
so we live in a society will reward
people for having problems that's why
more people commiserate about problems
and they fight over whose problem is
bigger because if people do really well
very often what people do is they go oh
they're into themselves or what they're
really saying is that person is being
what's significant in their mind
therefore I'm less significant I want to
bring him back to level tell me what you
think you need the most
you well it's a good question because I
think knowing which need you prioritize
shapes the direction of your life
exactly that's why I so the top two of
the sexes usually you've thought about
this isn't that day of course cuz when I
will deal with someone to help them I've
got to know which ones are yeah alright
tell you for me love is number one in
contributions number two the last two
needs or you must grow and you must
contribute beyond yourself if you don't
grow I don't it's success doesn't make
you happy progress stuff if you don't
feel like you're growing you feel like
you're dying and everything universe
grows or dies and everything contributes
or evolution eliminates it and so we
don't feel fulfilled
you can meet those first four needs by
doing terrible things and join a gang
and you're a Crip your significant baby
you have variety somebody shoot you at
any moment
you have certainty people gonna respond
to you you know you got connection with
the brothers but you don't really have
growth and contribution so you won't be
fulfilled but you'll have your basic
needs to be met very few people get
fulfilled for me those are two but if
you meet somebody and their need is
let's say Donald Trump's guy that I know
very well I like a lot I don't like
Donald cuz Donald is significance driven
and so when he just got to get that
significant issue down from overly
simplistic when he's gonna be he's such
a loving guy it's amazing he's a love of
God but at the same time I mean he
drives you nuts because he's got to put
his name on everything that's true I
mean the GM building was a terrific
building until he had to plat the truck
and you could argue about Donald that he
does that because because he'll say my
name on it and enhances the value of the
building or he will say putting my name
on it as garish as it is makes the
building it promotes my name and
anything that is my name enhances my
business and my business therefore these
are all appropriate motives and I don't
and finally he would say in the end and
there's something love there's something
interesting about this and I guess now
I'm transporting all these things that I
think he thinks not what he thinks and
nobody really knows I don't know exactly
he might say also
then I'm so secure that I'd do it
because I want to do it and in the end I
don't care what you think
so gracious that that's absolutely true
he feels you significant enough to do
that exactly but if you spend any time
with the Holland in Donaldson's you're
not a person I take advantage of he is
one of the most generous people you ever
meet he's a guy he wants to be cared for
like everybody but most men Charlie and
written about as a a typical man yeah
most men that what's the longest you
know greatest story in history of this
story the hero as you well know and it's
always almost always and most cultures
been a male who had a sacrifice
everything so be significant enough that
he'd be loved so you got these boys who
go kill everybody in you know the school
so all of us so whatever we want to be
heroes
no not everybody have significance is
their number one need those boys those
boys in in Colorado who did they kill
all the people made him feel
insignificant they killed the
cheerleaders of jocks they said that
going in they said going in that that
you made me feel awful and we weren't
accepted by you so they're all those
people they killed other people once
they got instead and woman who that they
asked what you still believe in Jesus
you say yes but what do they give them a
sense of power than that I mean that but
that's why people join games because it
gives us a point but not everybody's
driven by that some people are more
driven by love some of them were driven
by certain are you saying to me you're
more driven by love than significance I
would I bet you think so I knows how do
you prove it to me I don't need to okay
but I want you to I'll tell you why why
the reason I can walk in the room I just
did so can graph exert op 30 executive I
I unbelievably skeptical let's say just
as a way because these are smart guys
are made ton of money and they're saying
what it can Robbins possibly positive we
don't know how to use one more gas
company exactly he's one more tall guy
coming in here telling us the secret to
life and we've already heard it but not
only that we've practiced it or I go to
a department Boston I'll have 15,000
people so in that group you're gonna
have everyone the people you can think
of people that think I'm an idiot
because they heard they came to see this
reminds me of my favorite Donald Trump
story which is that he you evidently was
from
the fact in somebody was doing a profile
of him that he had drawn 15,000 people
to a meeting in Miami I think it was it
wasn't 15,000 people come to Zidane from
you they came to see because they
thought they'd get some secret to life I
think they came to see Donald to put the
point is totally oh come on but the
boiler matters if you look at you know
what you know what pushes somebody's
buttons it's not what pushes the button
is when people around so push the
buttons when no one's around and so the
way you could do it is to talk to people
who know me at work when we've been with
me 15 years there's no question SG is
but for your children love for the new
woman in your life love for what love
for people and life love to see people
all want way back to the kid thing that
you were talking about interview gives
no money away when you went to the
liquor store
that hasn't changed and these guys that
went in there I have the strength to be
able to go ahead toe-to-toe with anybody
but I'm not stupid I go til they told
you or you can just fight me so if I
need to show you that I think you're
gonna come in strong I'd be strong for a
second so we built some rapport and then
I could say I walk all the answers I
don't think if you try to get up as a
speaker there was a man I used to work
with and in one of these venues that we
did and he used to put common sheets in
he used to get ranked the lowest guy in
the group they'd say tear this guy off
the stage his problem was everything was
about himself proving how significant he
was to everybody so I went and I said
you keep demanding significance and you
just go out and try to serve real
leaders sir yes I do sir I'm a surgeon
yet if you just go out there and share
and being care about these people and
try to serve these people set a position
with these people they will odorous like
my here's my experience if you love
people they will make you significant
because so few people are willing to
unconditionally love so very few people
want to do that again you know
everything about this man nothing
having said that every great trial
lawyer I've ever met yes will tell you
the best way the only way or the best
way not always the only way is to say to
that jury help me give yourself to the
jury say to that jury juror Smith says
this is brilliant I am giving you every
ounce of my brain and my energy in my
body because and here it is I've done
everything I can to you know and
therefore that goes part of the way in
having the jury identify with you rather
than you're the smartest toughest
meanest ya got all that these people say
you think you're so significant take it
outside you know but I'll tell you
something else though honestly for me
I've only realized this honestly last
nine months I I've made a lot of changes
in my life and I lost nine months or so
I've made some distinctions like what
like that I've lived most of my life you
know certainly driven by wealth but that
my way of doing it has been through
sacrifice
the hero's model that I'll sacrifice
everything so people know I really love
them you know and I realized how insane
that is
and yeah part of me wouldn't separate so
I've made the decision I will sacrifice
for those I love but I don't have to
every single minute because I realize
that consciously I was always looking
for ways now with an audience I do that
I wouldn't be over because I will be on
stage with twelve or fourteen hours they
don't think that I said for now they're
the department of life because I turn
into a rock and roll concert and
basically with my intensity human but
everything I can
I I give every ounce of my body my mind
my spirit if I'm in pain it's gone it's
totally about them and they feel it I'm
working on it they only go well maybe I
could do something here you know maybe I
could stand up and really do this thing
that he's talking about it's like I want
a leader does you go first so I won't
give that up in that context but there's
a balance where it becomes being a
martyr and that is something I'm not
last nine months ago but I have been a
martyr is the truth
you know without admitting it but me
seeing that that's not who I am so he
stopped it I think when you can see how
you're being and how you're being is not
who you are you'll change in an instant
when you have an awareness of that but
it's hard to change something they're
not aware of it and so now I feel like
I'm I just turned 40 and somebody said
oh you're doing this and you're doing
that
you know and who a beard and stuff you
know people are freaking out with my
stupid little thing and I'm come on so
I'm having a midlife celebration what is
with the beard just decided you liked it
it was sort of nice interesting change
actually GQ magazine dear article on me
and they talked about is the most
clean-cut
why then Dyke rather than a for whatever
what's the but what's happening so many
people said either look good or you got
so freaked out about is I'm like this
icon for some people be a certain way
that's not the real me said get a wife
do you believe that I've interviewed
lots of very accomplished men and women
yes number of them say I could start
over tomorrow and do this yes do you
believe that you have through a life
process accumulated enough for the lack
of a better word success skills that
whatever you did you could be very good
at it it's not win lose here be very
good it's like an egotist Lancer but are
you really asking me is do I have
absolute certainty within myself and the
answer is yes not because I'm so bright
but because I have so much life
experience but you've been with millions
of people and I've been I've been on
stage with Diane Sawyer's shooting the
camera with a business group as many
years ago and it was really important
media piece I thought for my career
because it was all these corporate
executives and I wanted people to see
that I wasn't some rah-rah guy motor I
hate the word motivation by the way
because it's not what I really do I
really see myself as a strategist and
that's what I do but because I use
energy also and that's easier for the
camera to capture that's really what it
becomes and people know where else to
put it so it's a motivational thing so
while they're filming this top CEO who's
like you know very very celebrated their
wow this is great positioning this woman
in the room who had a hundred and fifty
two personalities multiple personality
disorder right MPD starts under 50 to
150 to she was one of the first MPD's in
the country now she starts splitting and
she starts talking like this
little boy little girl and I'm like oh
my god you know but I got a achieves a
manager was she I know this is a few
hundred but she was home for the general
population obtained the program
fortunately had read her forms and it
took me 45 minutes and I did you know
sometimes just get in state and I did
some of those magic work I've ever done
and I integrated her for the first time
she's been in a psychiatric ward for 15
years she's been studied by everybody in
therapy for all these years and Diane
Sawyer's people saw it so it was magic
as they captured it they didn't do the
story for a year they followed her for a
year exists there's no way this can
stick painter said got year later should
totally find she's feel totally fine
that was such a defining moment you have
events like that it's such a defining
moment that your levels certain either
you can handle anything goes to the roof
thousands of experiences like that I've
had you know president excites calls me
up the night of the inaugural or the of
the inauguration which is the
inauguration the night of the
impeachment well you know got to deliver
what are you gonna do you know I've had
sports figure melting down so what's the
conversation he calls you up the night
of the about the impeachment in other
words they're gonna vote tomorrow that's
right and says what I'm not gonna say it
to try and mysterious or something like
that I don't talk about what up someone
says unless they talk about so athletes
are you know Quincy Jones and mr. chair
it's not my share but the reason people
call me is cuz I don't call you he
called because he's getting coaching
from a lot of different people to me
being only one of them about you know
he's reaching out the question is what
what do you know other question the
question in essence is what do you do
right you know how do you deal something
you've got choice point sand how do you
evaluate what's your advice in a
circumstance like this specific I share
with the president my point of view as a
citizen in that case with as much
passion as I can about that's right
that's the attitude what did you say and
that's what the president said I'm
saying what did you say because when I
say would be reflective of what is
private between he and I in that
conversation I'm not trying to be
evasive I'm just being respectful okay I
hear you and I
like that now but but just what's at the
point is well yeah point was not that
that issue the point is I've had
situation so many from the psychiatric
situation to you know deliver I've been
in situations I look are gonna be
bankrupt in a situation and I got it so
my point is what do you say in other
words I think this is a very important
point here it is you're facing some huge
it doesn't get any huger than well it
does but I mean it have can do with the
loss of family that's that's as tough as
it gets
someone says someone told me a
conversation today and they were talking
about the loss of a young son yes and
they said these were this this is a very
public popular well-known person said
the agony is unbelievable you cannot
ever whatever I have whatever paint up
up in my life this is a hundred times
yet I just did approves a child I just
did a program in Palm Springs I do a
program called my University burger my
people in 75 countries coming six
languages are translated simultaneously
so it's the most diverse environment you
can imagine it's a seminar and
discovering what are the beliefs and
values that control every decision you
make every moment you're alive because
you don't make decisions in a random
vacuum they come from your system of
evaluation you try the same needs but
you have a different system evaluation
than I do that's why we make different
decisions motors don't know why and now
one of things I do is a very powerful
demonstration because I look for someone
who's suicidal and in a group that large
there's always a couple and I usually do
about twenty pages of homework about the
most significant events their life
decisions they've made so I read that in
advance it's very intensive individual
similar this last one I had a woman
who's lost her daughter exact same thing
and I tried many things the editor
through it but eventually I had to
become her I'd like reverse roles have
her become me and become her you know to
get her out of that stage that it's it's
you know we're always going to hypnosis
you and I people watching you know and
they're gonna notice watch somebody
gonna elevator they push the button they
look at the ceiling at Stan and most
people driving it knows this hypnosis
means you focus internally instead of
outside and when you focus internally
you tend to evaluate things very
differently so all I do is I ask some
questions and we have something
and they go inside and we'll ask those
questions I then start acting like she's
acting and then I said you're me now
that's always your me and then I don't
let her be herself but in doing it I
took on her physiology have you got to
believe that she was breathing but the
look on my face she's happy now when you
adopt someone's physiology you literally
begin to feel what they feel
actually and one of my Sounders teach
people to do this is it the way building
rapport and you throw the people see
what that person seeing somebody I've
never met the guy you're on a boat and
there's a childhood blond hair and
they're wearing something red and the
name is Charles and the person freaks
out this that was about a third of the
time no exaggeration so in a most the
time to get the same feeling I felt when
she started spontaneously was crying
hysterically which was kind of a freak
out because I was trying to help her I
eventually was able to help her but I
was I couldn't I have done this for 24
years of my life and I do a suicide
every time there and turn around show
why the person says you can spot them oh
it's not difficult one guy in the same
visit all demeanor they saw the way they
no no it's a whole demeanor sometimes we
have a great external demeanor but I've
read their forums and I know what's
going on right and then sometimes they
just volunteer I'd say who's suicidal
here you know and so it's hysterically
and they'll raise their hand because
it's their last chance so I was told you
know there was one man in the same room
who was gonna commit suicide and kill
his children because he couldn't leave
him there alone so I had to go after him
oh god these are people tenure seminars
or most of you lavona peak performance
Toula achievers achievers is there do
you do this in front of everybody else
in other words you got 15,000 people
there and you're 15 so wait come on
a thousand dismal thing you do that is
the most intimate environment I'm into
this stage yeah so really why is that
because so many days of my life and I
want to reach as many people as I can
and more than if I started with a
hundred and thought I couldn't do more
than heard I got 4,000 and to be able to
support people about individual level
it's hard to go beyond I'm sure I could
but then you don't know one-on-one
counseling for people I do I do coaching
I was with a guy today who's a financial
trader I made five hundred million
dollars in a day and then lost money for
many years so I turned them around and
he's done extremely well so you turned
him around yeah he made money from the
very six years I helped him to identify
when he was at his very best how he made
decisions and that was affected by two
things his cognitive processes the way
he evaluated right and his state meaning
we all have times in our life I'm sure
even you have done this here say
something we've done something after you
do I can't believe I said that stupid
but you've also had times something you
were like that was me I'm impressed so
it's not ability it's the state you're
in so I helped him figure out what he
was doing when I was at his peak
performance I did that by watching
videos of him by interviewing people
around him I found out what he was doing
with his body when he when you're in a
certain state when you're in a
passionate state you move differently
you breathe with him you talk
differently then when you're really it's
like visualization in part no no no it's
every emotion you have you'll experience
by your body if I said there's a
depressed person behind camera number
one yeah tell me what their posture is
like without looking I bet you're now
okay
down okay now how do you know that
because to create depression you have to
drop your shoulders you have to drop
your bra it just just that people not
sort of like this that's right and if
you take somebody's depress and you just
change your physiology is overly
simplistic is that on that instant I you
will change their state completely yeah
now you can't just change the physiology
you didn't have to change their beliefs
a lot of actors will look at a walk to
get into the character that's correct
cuz they'll start to actually feel it
yeah but so why not look at the walk you
want the life you want and emulate that
physiology because then sounds so easy I
know no one wants the easy answer even
when it's real okay well is it real it's
absolutely real that you just adopt the
walk that you wanted I mean here's the
interesting example about this underwear
the tuna but I use it frequently the
notion of George Patton George Patton
visualize assumes thought about what a
great general ought to be yeah he
adopted certain external manifestations
in terms of the clothes in terms of the
pearl and a revolver in terms of all
that stuff but he in a sense became what
he had imagined well here's what I tell
people is that true or not true if I
said to you Charlie
no one should imagine an 82 year old man
imagine what he's like Cary Grant then
I'll bring on a man is 80 - I know who
bench presses 410 pounds yeah and is
looks like he's 50 and I say is this
what you pictured when most people
picture somebody all right brunch Tovar
and wrinkled it's run like that is the
archetype you're moving towards yeah we
all see eye physiology it's it's not
only physiology but in this case this
man you got to change his physiology to
get his state back so this mine starts
working and so that's a combination of
biochemistry and movement then you got
to take those mental strategies that
worked and that's why I got to make
money and so I've been with him for six
years you can work with this guy for six
year it didn't take early no dude he
pays me a million dollars a year plus a
percentage of his increase because the
plaster I said to look so if he went is
this 10% 20% what is though sighs it's
do you have I've had seven I paired them
down because I couldn't honestly service
that right I'm saying this is amazing
that because here's my point
yeah it's gotta be worth it to him last
year I told him I said look how we're
like best friends I say I do this for
free be it at the amount of time I spend
it costs me this is worthless to me at
the stage of my life why don't you just
do it yourself because I know what you
do when you do because he journals every
day
he says me are you insane just knowing
you're gonna call he's here my insurance
policy he said I know I gotta do it as
he said it's just it's a it's an
insurance policy it's a measurement
isn't weak human be true though not even
your call know that he needs to maximize
his potential is something to measure -
that's what we put this guy out on his
own he absolutely can but he
the level most people never dream of so
he let me ask you a question if I'm
gonna go out there and I'm gonna be the
best here in the world oh come on I need
you every time he goes out doesn't eat
me either way every time he goes out I'm
not there goes a says hey just said to
you I wait for the phone call no it's a
with focal knowing I'm in the branches
makes him maximize please you write a
Michael don't have a coach why you
Michael Jordan say well the reason we
didn't tell him how to shoot didn't tell
money should play you know the coach
told him absolutely what he needed to do
in situations where we saw little things
are off target Michael Jordan was it
goes at Barry's weather's better example
there's a profile of Harmon in today's
paper
who who is Tiger Woods coach rain he's
over there and they're you know I'm not
I am Senate but you're doing is you're
making it as a tendency rather than
coaching but when I say to him is here's
the real truth though also everybody in
his performance
you know the 250 here 2 versus 333 the
250 is the 333 it's one more year to be
12 at-bats the 250 eater makes a half
million dollars a year a lot of money
been on a baseball 333 makes seven
here's the question one more here it
makes a difference here's the question
yeah is it that you can take people who
have the natural potential yes and who
were because of all kinds of things
they're not realizing the natural
potential and they've got all kinds of
barriers have gotten in the way all
kinds of atrophy and everything else and
you can strip that away and give them or
transfer to them or whatever the term of
you okay that's my point but they gotta
order to have it you can't take somebody
who is born who will never be better
than a 2:52 because that's the max of
his athletic ability and make him into a
320 hitter and you know so you're only
taking people who have not maxed out of
their potential by a wide margin that is
99 percent of the world
so but here's the truth all right most
of us have undersold ourselves yeah I
had a very deep level whether it be how
much passion we really could have in our
life whether it be how vitally I thought
I could be angry and so what's happening
is everyone has that including me so I
look to those coach I believe who you
are is who you spend time with that the
quality of our time who you spend time
with us who you become
because whoever you spend time with
affects your beliefs and your values and
your need for their love their attention
their significance will affect if I'm
gonna play tennis and I play something
worse than I am on a regular basis I am
NOT gonna get better right yeah terrible
your skill sets are gonna grow
significantly because of your desire to
connect and to play at that level so I
think I personally believe mentoring is
the biggest thing this thing from our
society about a huge part of what I do
in terms of my foundations work is
mentoring for kids because you know
people say well we should do something
about the values of the family well
that's a nice discussion but the thing
you can do is a relationship with a
child where you just care about it you
don't think of a skilled person you have
to be perfect are you gonna be scare and
be honest transforms a child's life and
most children today have more choices
than any time in human history and the
least amount of guidance has ever
existed and that's why we have a crisis
where we have kids picking up guns and
shooting people
give me the Robyn's solution I agree
with you a hundred percent so tell me
what it is that America should be doing
for his children and if it's mentoring
how do you go about it what's the
mechanism what's the process there's
lots of them I mean you could use as an
individual you can go out have a lunch
buddy you can take somebody and say for
the next six months I'm going to take
this child out twice a month for lunch
and just talk and maybe do a field trip
of fun my solutions I like to look at
systems I look at and say mentoring will
never pervade the culture and left the
team mentoring because you can't get
enough mentors there's lots of kids that
want them and they can't get them so
team mentoring will take it to scale on
the model I look for models there's a
model in LA that worked during the riots
that uses a school teacher so it's
already a location exists someone who
knows the kids is a college students of
somebody young enough to relate to and
it uses a businessman but then they have
a group of six or ten or twelve or
fifteen kids and so each mentor is
coaching three or four that helps the
mentor succeed sometimes the kid doesn't
respond you got three or four you got a
chance ones gonna respond so the mentor
stay
reinforced in the game there are other
people with them entering so they're not
alone there's not the feeling loneliness
so it means some of the needs were
talking about connection and certainty
and so forth and my view of it is to
create a syllabus which we are currently
working on and when you get to ten
percent of a school's population and
I've got a breakdown as our foundation
is doing this for the whole United
States can you look at the junior high
school student which I believe is the
every times critical time but probably
the most critical time when kids are
going from peer group at home usually to
a new peer group when they're going
through the first change in the hormones
that's the place that if you can
intercede I believe you have the largest
amount of leverage and so if you can
teach these kids to become young leaders
that is by having Michael Jordan on
video share with a story of his life and
they start finding out Michael did not
make the varsity basketball team his
sophomore year and he starts telling the
story about that for a long time and you
see and they see that and then there's a
syllabus of what they do that's fun and
they have somebody who's interested in
them and they have other students when
you do 10% of a population say a school
of a thousand kids you have a hundred
kids doing this ten groups of ten you
begin to affect a critical mass of the
mindset because when the mentor leaves
these kids know each other and they
start setting new standards to how
they're going to live their life and
they're reinforced for it so my you know
I said when I was very young my family
was very poor we had Thanksgiving no
money no food we're going to start
working at a feast we're gonna have any
food somebody fed my family I answered
the door it triggered me last year my
foundation we worked at people we've had
a million people last year start with me
feeling feeding 3 families so I believe
that little ideas can be grown into
institutions and my life is a reflection
of that I built you know a portion of an
industry that didn't exist in the way
that I do it so I believe that in
mentoring this can be done so I have
right now hundred partners that are all
putting up together a million dollars to
fund the syllabus of this and we're
working with teachers the priority in
about 1,200 school systems with
different programs to get a uniform
syllabus that can create this Leadership
Program it's not the whole answer but
it's one but we need mentors and people
that come to my seminars and so forth
the same people that feed people are the
kinds of people I think that can be
great mentors but anyone can do it is
one approach there are so many they're
going on and thanks to like America's
Promise as a part of helping to create
the hello quantile by
and it has stimulated that massively and
you know I think we I think we're making
huge progress we've got a couple million
mentors that we didn't have a few years
ago what did you do for Nelson Mandela I
didn't do anything what else in adult I
had a conversation Nelson Mandela and I
think I got more on Nelson Mandela and
he did meet someone else put me with
Nelson Mandela to see if I couldn't
assist him and the evaluation of how he
was gonna integrate some members of his
council and truthfully I left with a lot
more Gorbachev was somebody that I
helped deal with the transition
afterwards of what how to deal with the
situation that he went through when he
was ousted because all of a sudden he
was the devil in his own country the
very people out Jim but when Nelson had
died I don't feel like I really did
anything I learned from Nelson Mandela I
had experienced you did yeah what did
you learn I learned what human being is
capable of was greater than they even
thought you know to have someone take a
quarter of a century of your life and
not come out with your hatred and be
able to say to win like we were talking
to go around the air and win over your
guards as your friends to honor them as
you inaugurate is the president the
country to say I don't care what you did
to me let's and that's a personal
connection to man their respect in which
they they gave it but here's the
interesting thing about him for the
first half of his time he was and he was
angry rebellious and finally I think he
shifted to prepare and shifted to
something else feel the sense so you
said preparation to you and he said to
me you know he's just said at some point
I realized that it was not productive
well you know what that's true of all
human beings I don't care what a human
being does if they have enough time
don't say she ate that emotion if the
emotion is anger they'll get a point
where tired of being angry and then look
at that there's that all the time
they'll want to get pissed off just to
get out of that state human beings left
alone will eventually gravitate to
something else unless they get
reinforced like by being angry I respond
you all the time then you learn to get
angry doesn't always react to you or
being sad all the time I give you love
or pretty soon you get sad not even a
why because you want love but he is an
amazing man he is more than the product
of satiation he is a man who made
conscious choices to
above hatred and anger and to really
serve and I think there are very few
people that have lived their life the
way he lived his life in exile some of
that comes from just wisdom and in the
capacity to learn from experience true
and it comes from his childhood because
his childhood he was unique even then in
the way he was treated the way he was
raised he was raised to be a leader to
some extent if you have some interesting
opinions on known genes versus
environment nature nurture I think they
both play a role I think they say either
one is alone is absurd you know when
people try to say everything is genetics
it's a joke
they Wayans are destined to you say
forget it but you know I'm here I'm six
foot seven I was Tywin in high school
5-1 when you were senior high school so
forth yeah I grew 10 inches in a year
but I had a brain tumor I never even
knew about pituitary tumor which
stimulated this growth that made 10
inches a year I mean I really I know
what growing pains aren't something
physical and my brother is still like
five four I believe and so what you
group because you had a pituitary tumor
which I didn't know until what did he
tell you it stimulated the pituitary
glands t-midi massive growth hormone
release to my body and I exploded in
size and and I but I didn't then I
didn't know anything about it and
because I'm a pilot
you know I every two years you go get a
physical and that this time a doctor
looked at me and he kind of likes warts
Negar he said your cheekbone everything
Allison yeah I didn't know he's talking
about so he thought I had this challenge
and so without telling me he took a
blood test and he said I want to do an
operation on you he said you know you
have this massive excess growth hormone
and you have a tutor a tumor I said well
I came down I was nothing wrong with me
now you wanted an operation wait so
fortunately I'm fairly strong well then
I was about nine people I don't think
I'm exaggerating probly six different
doctors and it turned out I did have a
pituitary tumor at one time but it
infarct ated
it swallowed itself up there's enough of
it there that I have about you know
three or four hundred dollars a day with
the extra growth hormone if I had to buy
on the street as a bodybuilder but but
you did then or you do now I don't know
but I don't know what do you do if I
don't grow I don't know why does it go
I'm it's me young your God snake
[Laughter]
now okay but what is this it's a great
example the first doctor wanted to surge
around me just to be safe my heart
valves are any bigger there's nothing
changed everything's fine just a
screw-up anymore ghost does always say I
went I can't numbers nay but I came here
to Boston to the kind of the father of
endocrinology can't believe again to
hear his name but I was his the last
Davis career is one of his last patients
not the last patient more lessons he saw
me because he was a fan of my work and
he's a Tony everything's great I said
let me I got you these doctors they want
even drug me or they wanted Cuddy he
said well I think maybe you're afraid
that if we cut that out that you're like
Superman and or yeah that's your
kryptonite or maybe it's like you're a
hair for Hercules and you have to tease
me a little bit I said you know what he
said the only side effect they've taken
a drug would be you'd have lowered
energy I said you damn right that would
make me unhappy yeah but I said look why
is it we do this he said honestly Tony
if I'm a butcher I need to cut every
surgeon therefore I ought to be
suspected every surgeon but but that's
what you're trained to do what you do
and your own life is about the surgeon
you're doing you want to help somebody
see you that's what you know how to do
you don't know the other part so in the
end he recommend I take a drug that
would I go take a shot in Switzerland
from I said frankly I think I'm gonna
pass he goes but then you could just be
certain I said no you could be certain
so three months later as a doctor Steve
Hoffman in a lies a great man and he's a
facial surgeons a great bit and so
surgery don't get this I'll be there
Sunday he shows me that same drug the
FDA just says create cancer
so then deepak chopra jaideep october is
a friend of mine and Deepak I saw him
celebrity has it value yeah I talked to
the bakken and he said Tony you did I
said but I would never drug somebody I
would never
you know Kyle hey so there's nothing
wrong but I know I decided not to do
anything so do I have certainty here's
what I'm certain the other I don't wanna
cross you tomorrow get my car I have no
reason to see there's anything changed
in my body so why would I cut something
out or drug myself I think that cutting
our drug you would do something you
telling me that the bottom line this
story is that you left it alone correct
and what my certainty comes from is I
decide to be certain I decide not to
question right so if something happens
you'll say well that's a chance I took I
decided to leave it alone and did you go
back to the first doctor and say to him
look I've we've we had a spirited
conversation thank God you said I didn't
let you cut me he want to cut me before
we even had done a scan you couldn't
explain the test he's very complex I
said well I'm not that stupid explain it
to me but listen I'm on the arcs case
all of them Oh was it me honestly all of
them were trying to do what they
believed would save my life yeah so
everybody had your welfare and their
best interest and they were doing it
through their model of the world yeah
and they were trying to be certain and
what's the moral of this story ten years
later and my body hasn't changed in any
way I'm totally healthy unfortunate and
I didn't alter everything totally fine
so all I seem to have is so tell me this
easier maybe is there anything missing
for you that's a great question I am
right now the happiest I've been in my
life and the piece that was missing
what's missing I'm sure there'll be
something else because part of growth is
you know finding something mister I'm
sure but the thing that was missing was
allowing myself to fully enjoy when I
was giving others and I can tell you I
was in - I thought I was enjoying it but
it's like telling somebody what a rose
smells like whose never smelled the rose
or what you know favorite food tastes
like has never tasted it it's like by
the standards I had then I was enjoying
it so for a long time you were deluding
yourself correct because it is a matter
of measure I wasn't the teacher wasn't
perfect was he going to be better I'm
not perfect now I'll tell you
I'm happy cause you learn to enjoy the
energy I'm sacrificing just as well you
oh well you okay let me help there
understand this because I think it's
important you learn no longer to be a
martyr part what you said earlier
okay and you second you learned to enjoy
the fact that you were giving and that
there was joy to begin is that it I make
you try to make sure I wanna be the
greatest gift of my life is I walked
down this street in New York today I'll
be stopped half dozen times minimum or a
dozen times and people oh my god I love
you it's the greatest better than any
amount of money you gonna burn any
little trophy you could get or anything
else it's the greatest gift of my life
because I've helped millions of people
and they've helped themselves and I've
been a catalyst right so I've always
loved that but I've always felt like I
have to give more do more and now what's
happening is I'm kind of play Civ I get
to give more and do more and I let
myself have those moments where I just
go wow like I tomorrow I'll be on stage
and sure will happen and there's a point
when the room will be you know 20,000
feet up to the top of the rafters and
they will be in such a passionate
playful powerful state and I know I'll
pop out of my body and look at it and go
oh this is my life how cool how amazing
how bless you we'll do that oh yeah did
you not do that two years ago no I'll be
focused on who's the one person I miss
him you know is there anybody there it's
not know make sure you know and even if
they all are okay there must be some
hasn't convinced well it's not so much
convinced as anybody's really not happy
my thing is gonna make everybody happy
and so now I also know and this I'm
still working on frankly that I care
about everybody but I'm not responsible
for everybody because sometimes frankly
like I did this thing with a suicide it
took two people there good good suicide
I've done this every year and we follow
them up they know commits was either
chained transform and I was actually sad
because I thought about especially the
guy that was gonna kill his kids because
he didn't want them to have to go
through not having anyone there for them
in this bizarre psychology and he's a
good man he's a really good man but I
started thinking about all the people
who I will never reach and knowing that
I can help and
I'm not I got myself sadder than now I
was stupid as can be and so what that
comes from is the ego saying I care so
much nobody else does I'm the only I can
do which is complete so I have to
balance that it comes from a good place
of really just wanting to make that
difference but it needs to be in balance
with also taking care of yourself and
right now I'm doing that and I'm loving
and I don't think I know I'm able to
help my friends without the gentleman I
was telling about coaching a
conversation today and he had a lost 50
million dollars it's such a day a little
bit and I was reminding him of what life
he has and that his life has nothing to
do with his training and realizing he
has too much in her life he has because
he has a loving this man is a huge
contribution to society there's some
people that are busy it's great joy from
things and because it gives you such a
giver you know so but you can't tell
somebody that
and in fact them unless you're
experiencing it it's like you know
there's an old star you probably know
where this woman takes her son to see
Gandhi it's true story and she travels I
guess for three days I forgot the
exactly problem she took trains it's
forever to get there she gets before the
Mahatma she's hot my son because he's a
diabetic
can he keep sitting sugar and he loves
you or respect you so much if you would
just look him in the eyes and say stop
eating sugar he'll stop he'll save his
life and not the Gandhi's reportedly
said come back in three weeks before
whatever the real number was and the
woman said no you understand we live so
far away he said very harshly come back
in three weeks and pushed her away made
rough so she's very angry but she loved
her son so the Phoenix later she goes to
the same trip to travels forever right
she gets before I'm no she's before the
mop man he's never mean because yes they
deal he looks at the points just stop
eating sugar he looks right in the boys
eyes with such intense and the boys eyes
get off this big he bounced this mother
yes ma'am the woman can barely hold it
back she is best
she carries Gandhi you know she's a mom
it's just why didn't you do that three
weeks ago and he said because three
weeks ago ma'am I was eating sugar so
you can talk a good game but the power
in life you're about in life if you've
experienced all kinds of things
and that allows you to connect with all
kinds of people you're a diverse person
that's stroking you you know who you are
my power life is the same I've been with
millions of people in every walk of life
and so and I live my own life and I
don't build it myself that's not true
it's up every now and then I catch
myself and when I do whatever experience
I go through I learn from it and so I
can talk something about it with
authority because I really have
experienced it and I can talk about
without judgment because I've been the
idiot that did it so I don't have a
judgment for something I go look there's
what I did here's what I did to change
it you can reach most people then what's
the difference in the people who get it
and it sticks yes and those who get it
but it doesn't stick they can't keep the
program standards so many difference
people's lives what is a must for you
and what does it should for you is the
difference in your life
everybody gets their bus if it's a must
for you to spend time with your children
I don't care busy where are you well
let's assured you'll want to do it you
did sometimes but you feel guilty about
it most of the time people earn what
they must earn not a dime more
I don't care over there and when people
change their lifestyle and certain
things they're now must they always have
the money for because it's almost people
if a person's not in a relationship then
the intimate relationship it's it's a
must not to be hurt if they're in a
relationship and they're friends and
there's no passion it's good some us to
be friends but not a must for passion if
their relationship their love their
passions and that's of us we get our
muss and the difference in the muss is I
believe people's lives are a direct
reflection of the expectations of their
peer group finally tell me what dream
life.com is dream life is a place where
you can enter the universe and how to
improve anything in your life from the
best teachers around the world 24 hours
a day and the cost it's ridiculous
because it's free for most of it there's
classes you can take as well but you're
able to meet people from around the
world you haven't learn everything from
how to strip for your lover to learn
another language to how to how to be
able to you know trade financially
online it's a diverse world where you
can enter the world of improving
yourself and meet all kinds of people
and have a community that you can be a
part of if you choose to and it's public
company so it's a it's an investor's
vehicle as well for people
it's something that I'm passionate about
because to me you know the online world
is in its infancy the second wave of the
internet the media internet and when we
have you know full motion video the
Quillen of that with everybody not
having a load a player and so forth then
the Internet becomes really the most
extraordinary thing in human history
already is one of them but I think it's
we're about to see a quantum leap in
that in the next two three or four years
and so I'm really honestly creating the
space where the best teachers can teach
and people can teach each other and have
built a community that's constantly
improving Tony Robbins thank you for
joining us see you next time
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