-You guys, today is the start of Fleet Week,
when members of the Armed Forces visit New York City.
That's right!
[ Cheers and applause ]
For one week, New York basically becomes Tinder minus the app.
It's fantastic. [ Laughter ]
But, guys, we got a great show tonight.
Andy Cohen is here!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Andy Cohen.
He hosts the show "Watch What Happens Live,"
which is also a good title for any speech
given by Donald Trump.
'Cause we have no idea -- [ Laughter ]
We have no idea what's gonna happen.
Speaking of the president, Trump spent the morning
tweeting conspiracy theories about the Russian investigation.
Trump was like, "This one goes all the way to the top."
[ Laughter ]
And people were like, "You are the top."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"All the way to me. I'm gonna find --
When I find out about this..." Wow.
[ Laughter ]
Earlier this morning, Trump tweeted that the FBI
spied on his campaign
and called it one of the biggest scandals in history.
Then, Mike Pence fed him a warm bottle of Diet Coke,
burped him, and rubbed his back until he fell back to sleep.
[ Laughter and applause ]
"It's gonna be okay, Mr. President."
"Tweet."
That's right, Trump's claiming the FBI spied on his campaign
and said it could be one of the biggest
political scandals in history.
Then, Hillary was like, "Um, I can think of a bigger one."
[ Laughter and applause ]
But Trump's been busy.
Last night he gave a speech in Washington,
and at one point, he thanked a congressman in the crowd.
Take a look at when he said afterward.
-Andy Biggs, Congressman.
Andy Biggs. Where's Andy?
Thank you, Andy.
Now I don't have to call you and thank you.
[ Laughter ]
-It works out for everybody. Yeah.
-Yeah, there you go.
-Then he was like, "And happy anniversary, Melania.
Now I don't need to send you a card."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"And happy birthday, too."
Guys, it looks like Trump's meeting with Kim Jong-un
might not happen. [ Audience "Oohs" ]
Apparently, Kim is worried
there'll be a coup in North Korea if he leaves.
Kim tried telling Trump, but every time he said "a coup,"
Trump would yell, "Na matata."
[ Laughter ]
"A coup." "Na matata."
[ Laughter ]
"It means no worries."
That's right, Kim Jong-un's worried there will be a coup
in North Korea while he's gone.
Meanwhile, the moment Trump's plane takes off,
everyone here will yell, "Quick! Let's have an election!"
[ Laughter and applause ]
Guys, it is -- it is graduation season,
which means a lot of big stars
are giving commencement speeches,
and I noticed all of these speakers
seem to have one thing in common --
they all totally disagree with President Trump.
Here, take a look.
-Don't just accept the status quo.
-We continue to support the status quo.
-We have to do it together -- all together.
-And you do it separately. [ Laughter ]
You do it separately.
-Speak up. Make your voice heard.
-I'm not saying anything. [ Laughter ]
I don't -- I don't talk.
-There are so many roles out there waiting for you.
-Jobs are gone. There are no jobs.
-Stop comparing yourself to other people.
-I am better than those people.
-"I'm better than those people."
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Oh, man. -Ah.
-You guys hear about this?
President Obama and Michelle Obama
signed a big deal to produce films and shows for Netflix.
So here now to talk about the deal,
via satellite, is President Obama.
Thank you for being here, Mr. President.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Thanks for having me, Jimmy.
Thanks for having me. It's great to be back.
-We haven't seen you in a while. What have you been up to?
-Well, what do you think?
I've been sitting around, watching Netflix.
[ Laughter ]
Michelle, she keeps trying to get me off the couch,
and I'm like, "Hey, I got a new initiative.
It's called 'Let's not move.'"
[ Laughter ]
-What do you watch on Netflix?
-Well, have you ever watched "Chef's Table"
when you're really, really baked?
[ Laughter ]
I mean, like, stoned, man. I never knew --
Look, I never knew food could look so good.
I'm all like, "Obama-nom-nom-nom-a."
[ Laughter ]
-Obama-nom-nom-nom-a?
-Obama-nom-nom-nom-a. -That's right.
What kind of shows will you be producing for Netflix?
-Well, we're doing everything, Jimmy.
We're doing comedies. We're doing Obama-dramas.
[ Laughter ]
Got a couple of Baracumentaries.
And don't forget about the reboots, all right?
It's all about '90s reboots now.
Now, you liked "Fuller House."
-Yeah, I like it.
-Two words -- "Fullest House."
[ Laughter ]
That's right! We're rebooting the reboot.
That's never been done.
-That's never been done. -Reboot the boot.
-Is that right?
It sounds very interesting there.
-It's great, you know.
Everything from the '90s is getting a reboot.
"Frasier"? Reboot.
[ Laughter ]
"Dawson's Creek"? Reboot.
[ Laughter ]
Kool-Aid Kool Bursts? Rebooty-de-boot-boot.
[ Laughter ]
-That last one isn't even a TV show.
-That doesn't even matter, Jimmy, okay?
Reboo-ooh-ooh-ooh-oot. Reboot.
All right? Now, speaking of reboots, check this out.
We should get Michelle back, and you get her
in the White House in 2020,
and I'm talking about an Obama reboot.
-There you go. [ Cheers and applause ]
President Obama, everybody, right there!
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
"Reboot!" -Reboot-de-boot-boot.
Are you still there, Mr. President?
-I don't want to leave. I got nothing to do these days.
[ Laughter ]
-That's a beautiful house, by the way.
It looks really nice.
-You like what I got going on back here?
I can't see it, but I can -- [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. -I can't see it exactly,
but if I could, I'd swing from the chandelier!
-Yeah, okay, yeah.
-♪ The chandelier ♪
-All right, good. -All right.
We've had -- We've had our fun. -What's that, now?
-I said we've had our fun.
You know, I did mention weed a little earlier,
But I just want to tell you -- -What?
-The DEA, man, they used to get the best weed for me.
[ Laughter ]
-Mr. Obama, please, stop talking.
We're good. -Okay. Are we good now?
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
We've been good, man. -Can I go?
-What's that? -Can I stay?
[ Laughter ]
-You can't go. It's your house!
You live there!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Where's he gonna go? He's lives --
That's via satellite to someone's home.
I don't know where the heck he is.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hey, guys, this made me laugh.
A local news station in Los Angeles was covering
a high-speed car chase,
but they accidentally started following the wrong car.
This is real. Watch this.
-It looks like he's pulling into a driveway here.
Don't know what business that is,
but it looks like it might be a gas station of some sort.
-He is getting out. -Wow. Look at that.
Okay. Look at this guy.
My goodness. Okay, well, there's the I.D.
He's into the minimart.
-Do we have the right car, Mark?
[ Laughter ]
-Well, we certainly thought so here.
-All right, so there is a possibility
that we may have gotten confused
and not following the correct car.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-"Can you believe -- Can you believe this guy?
Can you believe the gall?
No respect for justice, this guy.
He's walking right in.
He's gonna buy a frozen burrito.
He's going home. He's tucking his kids into bed.
-"An animal!" -"This guy's an animal!"
-"Guy's combing his hair! Oh, my God!"
-"He's brushing his teeth."
-"He's getting up the next day. Now he's going to wor--"
"He's tucking his child in!"
-Actually, the moment they took the camera off him,
he robbed the minimart. -Really?
-Yeah. It's sad. [ Laughter and applause ]
And, finally, you guys, I heard that there is a way
for Alexa to tell you if your outfit is stylish.
The way it works is, if you have to ask Alexa
if your outfit is stylish, it isn't.
You guys, we have a great show. [ Cheers and applause ]
Give it up for The Roots right there!





For more infomation >> Nach alter Art der Mongolen: Reiternomade besucht WM-Städte hoch zu Pferd - Duration: 2:33. 
For more infomation >> Nỗi Lòng Của Em - Cẩm Như (Đêm Nhạc Lê Đình Phương) - Duration: 5:56.
For more infomation >> 《結愛》中田欣滿懷愧疚地搶走皮皮的男友,如今過得不像自己 - Duration: 4:01. 
For more infomation >> Lần đầu chơi Game: Birdy Escape - Game bắt con gà cực kì hay - Duration: 4:44.
For more infomation >> Cu Thóc cùng Giang hồ Phú Lê cuộc hành trình Tình Nghĩa Giang Hồ |Chia sẻ tình thương| - Duration: 8:23. 
For more infomation >> 배우 정은숙,나한일 정은숙 결혼 그리고 나한일부인 유혜영과 나한일 사기 무엇? - Duration: 5:36. 
For more infomation >> ПОИСК МОНЕТ. РАЗВЕДКА НОВЫХ МЕСТ. Одна монета окупила весь выезд - Duration: 9:28. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét