-Welcome back! -Thank you very much!
-I'm so happy to have you here. -I'm happy to be here.
-This is -- It's sort of bittersweet,
the last six episodes. -I know.
They start streaming tomorrow, and I feel very sad.
I've been now a cast member of two shows that have ended.
I was on "The Office." -Yes.
-And I felt, like, very sad when "The Office" ended
even though I entered, like, halfway through,
the end of the fifth season.
Like, the whole month, the final month of shooting,
I was, like, sobbing and crying.
And I think everyone was like, "You're new."
Like, "Why are you so sad about?"
But this feels different because I was there from the beginning.
-Right. -You know, we had four seasons.
It was awesome. But it's of course bittersweet.
It's the end of an era. -Also, at the same time,
you, of course, finished probably this summer, right?
-Yeah. -Yeah. So you have probably
had time to emotionally prepare for it.
It will be very sad for us as we watch these episodes.
-Thank you. I'm not happy you'll be sad,
but thank you for being sad. -Okay.
I understood where -- your perspective on that.
You mentioned "The Office," and when you arrived
on set the first time,
you learned a Hollywood lesson right away.
-Oh, my gosh. Okay, so, yes.
Vartan, who is the name of the head of craft services,
which is, like, the head of the snacks and refreshments
on a set, was looking -- this big burly man was looking at me.
I was selecting a bagel to eat. Okay?
And there weren't any tongs.
So I selected the bagel I wanted to eat.
I took it with my hands, and I put it on a plate.
And out of nowhere, he says,
"You can't touch the bagels with your hands!
Only Steve Carell can touch the bagels with his hands!"
[ Laughter ]
And I was like -- Now I never doubted --
Like, Steve Carell is a very clean man.
-Sure. -But I realized, like,
even hygiene is a status thing in Hollywood.
So only number one gets to touch the bagels.
-Now, you were, of course, number one on the call sheet
on "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt." Did you get to touch the bagels?
-All over it. -Okay, gotcha.
[ Laughter ] Licking the bagels!
-You just ran your hand -- "No, that's not for me."
-"That's not it. I can do it."
Surprisingly, there were never any tongs actually on our set.
I think that's, like, New York.
-Yeah, in New York, everybody just touches the bagels.
-Exactly. [ Laughter ]
-By the time you get a bagel, you just assume
like 12 other New Yorkers have touched it.
-That's exactly right. We're a community.
-We are a community.
You also auditioned for "SNL,"
and I was in the meeting where you met Lorne,
which is a very intimidating meeting.
-Well, yes, it was. And you don't know this,
but you were a lifesaver, because I was very worked up.
I'm meeting Lorne Michaels. Like, he's, you know, an idol.
And I went in, and I -- He is making small talk,
and thank goodness you were there because you were very --
you were smiling and very pleasant.
At one point, Lorne Michaels asked me
what era of the show I grew up on.
And the only name that was in my head at the time
was Gilda Radner, which at the time of this interview,
I was like 27 years old.
So if I'd grown up watching Gilda Radner,
I would've been like 47 years old.
But I was so nervous,
that was the only person I could think of.
and I was all set to be like,
"Well, I grew up with Gilda Radner."
And you intervened, and you said,
"Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, maybe it was 'Wayne's World.'"
And I said, "Yes! 'Wayne's World.'"
[ Laughter ]
Lifesaver, this man. -Thank you.
-Thank you, thank you. -Very kind of you to say.
-Having said that, I did not get a part on the show.
-Now, your husband, Michael, is now writing for "SNL."
-He writes for "SNL," yes.
-And I'm a huge fan of your husband's.
He's a wonderful guy. But I have talked to him
about the fact that we have --
Your child is almost the same age as ours.
-Yeah. -And I can't imagine
still working at that job having a kid.
So how is it affecting Michael as a parent?
-Okay. So we talk about this a lot,
because I think that writing at that show is tough
because the hours are kind of crazy,
and you're up all night. -Yes.
-So I mentioned this before that Michael was working
such late hours that when he was home, he was often sleeping.
And so our son, whenever he was not around Michael,
he would say, "Oh, daddy's sleeping."
Like, even if Michael was, like, running an errand or at work,
he'd be like, "Daddy's asleep." [ Laughter ]
So I was like, "Oh, that's a great role model."
And then, the other night at dinner --
[ Laughter ]
We were going around and we were mentioning our superpowers.
I said, "James, your superpower is you make everybody happy."
Because I'm obnoxious and make my son think
that he's the most important person on Earth, which he is.
And so then I said, "James, my superpower is
I can get up really early." Because I can.
No biggie. I'm good at getting up early.
-Yeah. -And so -- some superpower.
And then I said, "What's dad's superpower?"
Michael's sitting right there.
And James says, "Daddy eats so much."
[ Laughter ]
So, James' father is, like, a sleeping man who overeats.
[ Laughter ]
That's like, "We got it.
You have a tough act to follow, James."
No, I'm kidding. We love Michael.
He doesn't eat too much.
-And your son, James, a Lady Gaga fan?
-Yes, loves Lady Gaga.
-What part of her canon have you introduced him to?
-"Joanne." The entire album "Joanne."
He loves "Come to Mama." He's, like, got rhythm.
James is very good.
And then, of course, when "A Star is Born" --
"A Star is Born" came out -- best movie,
we've been playing that on a loop.
And one morning, I was playing, of course, "Shallow,"
the best hit of 2018. -Yes. Yep, yep!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yes! We love "Shallow"!
And then right after "Shallow" on the soundtrack
comes this dialogue, where Lady Gaga says,
"You know, I don't feel this way about everybody."
And Bradley Cooper says, "Well, good."
You know, his voice is very gravelly in the show.
And James bursts out laughing. Just that voice.
So now I make him do that
when we go to someone's house for dinner.
I say to James, "James, you know,
I don't feel this way about everybody,"
and he says, "Well, good." [ Laughter ]
I'm like -- I promise, I'm not a stage mom.
But that's funny. [ Laughter ]
-You are a SoulCycle mom. -Yeah.
-You're obsessed. -I love it.
-You own how obsessed you are.
The level of obsessed is, you actually put your --
you got your trainer's -- Is that what you would call it?
-Instructor. -Instructor's.
-Doesn't do SoulCycle. -No.
He -- You put his face on your pants?
-It's so gross. -Yeah.
-That's his face, you guys. [ Laughter ]
That is -- That's me looking very tired.
And that is Rique on my thigh. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
I'm new to Instagram. I'm still, like,
you know, learning. -You're doing a great job.
-That's kind of you. [ Laughter ]
Oh, maybe he just -- I -- Definitely I am not sure
people knew what to make of that.
-What did Rique make of it when he first saw it?
-I think Rique was okay with it. -Okay, that's good.
-Rique loves the pants.
It's a number of us who have these pants.
And then, I think he liked the post.
We can go to, like, the documents
to see if he actually liked it. -Okay.
-But I mean, this is not -- -I think that's good.
-It takes a minute to figure out what's --
-I think you're all right. I think you're all right.
And as long as you're still in the class,
I think that's a good sign. -Yeah, yeah.
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