Hi there I'm James I'm a grateful recovering addict and alcoholic I've
been sober for three years clean and sober and have been previously used and
drank for 20 years I post a video here about addiction and recovery every
Saturday as well as post resources in the description below you're gonna hit
that arrow if you're on your phone ways to help you or your loved ones that are
suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction if you haven't considered
consider subscribing I'll be here every Saturday we'll talk sometimes we have
fun today more on the serious tip I'm gonna talk about the time I wrapped my
Ford Explorer around a tree woke up three months later and 70 pounds lighter
from a medically induced coma having broke this entire side of my body
collapsed my lung and had been shocked my heart had been shocked back to life
so I'll start with a damn near died this was one of the many times that alcohol
and drugs have had taken me very close to death my story that night started
2007 it was August I had just gotten out of the Navy in 2006 and I was an
aviation electrician in the Navy so I decided to pursue a career in
real commercial electrical work with the IBEW the International Brotherhood of
Electrical Workers I went through the application process and was accepted and
received a job offer to study for five years ACDC theory and do on-the-job
training an excellent job with excellent benefits I was on my way I had also just
recently found out that I had paid off my first car that I ever bought it was a
two-door Ford Explorer and I had paid it off it was all mine so having a new
career path and a promising life ahead of me I decided to do what I do best
which is what I do any time any kind of emotion hits my blood stream is I
combine it with drugs and alcohol in my bloodstream so I decided to go out and I
asked my best friend at the time if you wanted to go out and have some beers and
that's what we did I remember he usually drove but I insisted on driving because
I was proud of my new car and I just washed and waxed it and I remember
drinking beforehand like I always did now this was 2007 so I was around 27 28
years old and I had been drinking since 14 and I had progressed my disease of
alcoholism had progressed to the point of pre-gaming I'm sure you're aware of
this drinking before the party or the bar I was pretty far along in my
drinking career and I would I remember having beers in the car so I picked on
my friend and we went just to a regular hometown bar drink some beers and played
some pool and and then I took him home I was little
they going to my new job the very next day for the first day I took him home
and I took away home that I've taken a thousand times before
I remember the roads were wet and it was probably midnight and I was driving too
fast and I was definitely intoxicated now a
regular person who has experienced a DUI or a car accident while intoxicated
would say all right well I guess I'll stop drinking an alcoholic when
experiencing a consequence of the vehicular nature while drinking or using
drugs we'll say all right I'll stop driving because that is the nature of
the beast we continue on drinking amusing it is a cunning baffling and
powerful disease and it will put you behind the wheel whether you want to or
not I remember coming up and around a bend on a road that I've taken a
thousand times before and I remember the back end of my Explorer coming out and
becoming the front end so I did a 180 while going probably over 30 miles per
hour and I don't know what's the last thing I remember I then woke up I do
remember waking up my dad was sitting next to my hospital bed now I've been in
hospital beds yes you were probably no stranger to a
hospital bed so I had the routine questions he said you were in a car
accident and he said some other things I was foggy I was on everything from
fentanyl to morphine medically barbiturate induced coma I was just
coming out of it had been three months I had been laying in the same spot so you
can imagine the garage enos but he said I have been on a car accident and I
asked a particularly stupid question how's my car this shows you the the
clarity of the Attic and alcoholics mind I am so used to getting hurt and beat up
that I immediately have these superficial concerns well he said it's
totaled it's gone and you have been in a coma for three months and the days went
on and he was there every day and my mother was was in and out every day and
my my sister had was there and my friends and family came and went and see
this is baffling to me because I had been there and they had been there for
three months periodically and I had been there as well but I had so I didn't
experience this coma like they hadn't experienced it my friends and family has
experienced sheer profound sadness and terror as I was on the brink of death
and I wake up and I want to know you know where's my car and then some stupid
shit like that well I had a tracheotomy I had lung chest tubes
I had a feeding tube where food would go into my system while I was in the coma
to my understanding medically induced comas are for the purpose of reducing
brain swelling and preserving vital organs
I now have neuropathy in my feet it's pins and needles tingling because the
nerves of my feet died because nutrients were concentrating on keeping me alive I
also had long surgery broken collarbone broken scapula all these ribs and some
of these were broken I was damn near dead not only this but I do remember
thinking I crashed when I was drinking and that would be my third DUI now in
the state of New York at the time at least three duis is a felony and felony
means prison time big house time I wasn't looking forward to that so not
only was I broken I could not walk I was 70 pounds lighter I was in a coma I had
almost died I had a tube going into my throat
and my lungs and my stomach to keep me alive I was on a respirator I remember
vaguely moments where doctors had to save me a team of doctors had to save me
because there was some sort of blockage in my windpipe I had a fever I had there
was dangers of getting pneumonia I couldn't drink water all they would do
is let me soak suck on a soaked like q-tip type thing
I couldn't suck the water out of it and I would have to swab my mouth and of
course me I would suck the water out of it when the nurse wasn't looking that
was a three month period I was in that hospital then I had to go to a
rehabilitation hospital now forgive me if you were here friends and family and
I'm skipping parts the summary is I couldn't walk when you're in a in a bed
for three months at a time your body forgets how to walk your muscles
deteriorate and your and your and your mind you just forget how to walk well
the rehabilitation hospital I remember they got me a bed in beds at
this place are reserved for just critical patients
stroke patients people that have lost motion in the use of their body I
remember when I was exiting one Hospital to go to the rehabilitation hospital on
my way out I had to sign some papers involving finances and the the lady that
was taking care of my case in the financial office was like thanks you
wanted me a bet and I was like how's that she goes well I have the most
expensive case in the hospital at the time your your case cost a million
dollars 1 million dollars because I was intoxicated while I crashed my car the
insurance was not going to pay for my injuries and things of this nature so I
had to find a way to pay a million dollar medical bill so I was facing a
felony DUI charge whether or not you're going to live I remember writing down to
the doctor will I ever talk again because you can't talk I didn't know
this until it happened to me unless air passes over your pipe voice box
vibrates some things I don't know how it works but I couldn't talk so I had to
write with a shaky hand will I ever talk and the doctor said I can't answer that
right now I didn't know whether I was gonna walk talk live I didn't know what
was up with my job I didn't know if I was going to prison which also reminds
me I had dropped my friend Jesse off it's a
good thing I dropped him off because as you can see the entire passenger side up
the car was crushed he would have absolutely 100% been crushed with it so
it's no wonder while it's no wonder why he along with multiple other very good
lifelong friends no longer associated with me I damn near killed him I've been
mayor cool myself in front of them multiple times is this is the
devastation that addiction and alcoholism can wreak on your life
luckily my family stood by me and watched me recover slowly I went to a
specialized rehabilitation hospital and I remember I had to learn how to lift
this whole side was crushed I I couldn't lift my arm the side I had to learn
I had to learn how to walk how to get in and out of a car occupational therapy
physical therapy I had to I remember when I was in that hospital I was
sitting there and it was mostly 80 90 year old stroke victims where half their
body was paralyzed so severely that their face would droop down and I
remember thinking man I am really close to death this solidified it and
illustrated it for me these people I remember looking across for me and there
was a 90 year old woman sitting in a wheelchair and she looked so frail and I
remember she pulled something out from her side and it was a visor and she put
the visor on and it said get Punk'd and I remember that being a inspiration
to me long story short I had to learn how to get mobile again through a walker
through the parallel bars I graduated to just being able to move with a cane and
that was a sign that I was ready to recover at home I went to my mother's
house and she made a room for me and I remember she got rid of her her best
friend in the world with a macaw parrot named Boyd and the doctors had told her
that the the down the the dander from from this animals feathers or something
about it could harm my lungs I had had lung surgery a collapsed lung
and she had to get rid of her her good friend bullied for me as I moved into
her house and recovered and then spent two months recovering and it involved
percocets pain pills I remember having all kinds of
prescriptions for fentanyl which is synthetic heroin this also reminds me uh
there was a time in the hospital where I had the worst pain of my life still to
this day in my ab area I didn't know what it was I thought it was I didn't
know what it was I told him to cut it out of me
the doctor said I can do something he was an Indian doctor and you know if I
can give you something and I said there's nothing you can give me I have
morphine fentanyl on all everything there's nothing that
can take this pain away please just cut it out I mean he goes I give you
something don't worry and he did about 15 minutes later a nurse came in and
gave me a shot and not only did the worst pain of my life disappear but I
also got higher than I've ever been and it was a double whammy of pleasure
and relief and that is when I got addicted to dilaudid intravenously and I
said god help me I remember I got a dose every four hours
and I remember if I'd be asleep my body would wake me up because it'd be time
for my deadline so I no longer take pain medication because while I was
recovering in my mother's house I ate percocets like they were candy and
whereas my mother loved this because it made me chatty we would have our coffee
and I would be eating three or four percocets which she didn't know about
but we hide it well I wasn't getting addicted to percocets as well and then
it started to mix that as I was recovering I could could barely walk
could barely even make it to the bathroom but that wasn't very far away I
spent a couple months in that bedroom just a skinny skeleton of a man the hole
in my throat had closed up I had become depressed because now I had
this scar I did a video on the following decade after this tracheotomy scar I
mean I didn't go to the beach or or swim in a pool I didn't any reason to take my
shirt off I didn't take my shirt off because I had this tracheotomy scar this
made me very depressed I had to get on antidepressants --mess accident had
changed my life dramatically long story short after laying in bed
smoking weed percocets when it was time to walk
again I decided to take care of this knee surgery that I had broken my ACL
two years prior while drinking at a party and I decided to inform my work
that I'm gonna get that surgery as well to get more percocets and lay in the bed
where I was happy as a clan because I was eating percocet smoking weed and
playing Arkham City I was also slipping deeper and deeper into the depths of
addiction because as soon as I was able to walk I mean I was barely able to walk
I walked to a local bar that is the nature of this disease is it will be
your deciding factor it will be you if you don't address it as soon as I
could barely walk I mean barely I was walking to a bar and I was still just in
no shape whatsoever to even be outside and I was then they used to come
I would pick up alcohol again and and drugs again and I would continue using
and believe it or not I even it even took me behind the wheel of a car time
and time again after that this condition addiction and alcoholism is nothing to
mess around with if you even wonder if you were an alcoholic or an addict you
have to do something very serious about it it will progress and you and it will
take you down or even worse to hellish hellish places on earth
so that was 2007 into 2008 I the electrical Union had sent me a card to
get well and they didn't know nobody the cops never came by the way there was
different stories one was they saw my condition when they pulled me out of the
car or the paramedics and and said he has had enough punishment another was I
had a cousin who had some connections nobody really knows about that one
either way my felony charge did not drop I had retained a lawyer for five grand I
I had just been waiting for thee the f-bomb to drop it never did and this is
one of the many miraculous things that came to question around the time how did
I live how did I not get arrested charged with a felony DUI how did I not
kill my friend in that car accident why did all of this
happen this will this will bring some spiritual questions to any man or
woman's mind there is the suggestion in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous and in
the rooms of recovery that God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves now I
am a I'm not here to preach religion or spirituality but an experience like this
does bring up the question was God there doing for me what I could not do for
myself other members of my family also think
that he kept me for a reason and this channel what I'm doing right now maybe
that very reason and I'd like to think that I have appreciated your feedback
and those of you who have reached out to thank me for anything from my words to
the resources it it makes me feel something more than words can describe
so I thank you for your feedback if I'm forgetting anything about this story the
gist of it is alcohol and drugs took me to the brink of death and when I was
well enough to walk again I went right back to them now I'm not a stupid man
I'm not a weak man you'll encounter in recovery all kinds of people and there
are amazing profoundly strong individuals that you will meet in
recovery and it will convince you and it has convinced me that alcohol and drugs
and the addiction is one of the most powerful cunning baffling forces to
mankind and the steps of recovery and coming together and listening to another
alcoholic or addict rising above an addiction or recovery is tremendously
difficult on many levels unfortunately a small fraction of people that are
plagued by addiction actually recover to live healthy lives I like to address
my own demons one of my demons is I say f that I'm not being a statistic I'm
gonna show them I'm gonna show the statistics I'm gonna be in that
percentile and I use that to feel me I urge you to use the same anything that
you can use against this thing against this demon of addiction you use you do
not mess around it will be your end statistically according to the National
Survey of drug use and health 21.5 million American adults ages 12 and
older battled a substance use disorder last year I happen to know opiates are a
huge plague right now alcohol I have no doubt is one of the most dangerous drugs
known to mankind do not take it lightly if you are of the alcoholic type reach
out to me or the links below there is I will link up the AAA hotline the NA
hotline these programs have become worldwide because the this is such an
emic epidemic to mankind that you can reach out you can get help if you find
yourself gaining experience strength and hope from these videos come back I'm
here every Saturday if you'd like I'd appreciate your your stories down in the
comments if you're on your phone you have to scroll all the way to the bottom
leave me a comment finally before I lose all the light to that I have here and
this evening I'd like to reach out to my friends and family that were with me
there in that accident 2007 you were by my bedside my sister and my dad my
mother my cousins my aunt and uncle's my friends thank you and I'm sorry I know
it was an extremely hard time and I wasn't there I'm sorry and I'm here now
to make amends if you'll let me
for the rest of you I hope to see you back here next Saturday and keep it
clean keep it real keep doing this damn thing you're on the right track
I'll see you
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