- I propose a contract with the American voter.
It's a set of promises for what I'll do
in my first 100 days.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] The account's first cover photo
was actually a shot from President Obama's
inauguration in 2009. (ding)
- [News Anchor] The president is in a white rage about
suggestions that the crowds for him
weren't as big as they were for Barack Obama.
(ding)
- Look how far this is.
This goes all the way down here, all the way down.
(ding)
But when you look at this tremendous sea of love,
(ding) I call it a sea of love.
- It was the largest audience to ever witness
an inauguration, period. (ding)
- [Announcer] Multi-platinum recording artist
Three Doors Down. (ding)
- We have put together a team, I think,
the likes of which has never been assembled before.
- He has nearly 2000 jobs in his administration
that he has yet to fill. (ding)
- [News Anchor] Michael Flynn in a firestorm of criticism.
(ding) - Ben Carson
got stuck in an elevator. (ding)
- She is the least qualified nominee
in a historically unqualified cabinet.
(ding)
- I would imagine that there's probably
a gun in the school to protect from potential grizzlies.
(ding) (bear roars)
- Ms. DeVos didn't know the difference
between two basic theories of testing.
(ding)
- [Speaker] Where if the growth they're making is in growth,
the proficiency is an arbitrary standard.
- If they've reached a level,
the proficiency is if they've
reached a like, third grade level for reading,
et cetera.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] President Trump's top advisors
are said to be at odds. (ding)
- [News Anchor] Donald Trumps cabinet is mostly male
and white, the least diverse cabinet since Ronald Reagan.
(ding)
- No, I would, I tell you what,
you wanna set up the meeting?
Do you wanna set up the meeting?
- No, no, no,
I'm just a reporter. - Are they friends of yours?
No, go ahead, set up the meeting.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] Sarah Palin and rockers,
Ted Nugent and Kid Rock posed in front of the portrait
of former First Lady Hillary Clinton.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] Pence's rule of never eating alone
with a woman who is not his wife,
good idea? (ding)
- [News Anchor] "I'm not firing Sean Spicer,
"the guy gets great ratings, everyone tunes in."
(ding)
- And the goal for the United States
is twofold, as I have stated,
it's one, to make sure that we destabilize Syria.
(ding) Hitler,
who didn't even sink to the,
to using chemical weapons. (ding)
John Roberts always helping me with the fashion tips.
- [Reporter] It's still upside down.
(ding)
He had no conflicts.
By law, he can't have conflicts.
(ding)
- So, buy Ivanka's stuff, is what I would tell you.
(both talking at once)
I'm gonna go get some for myself today.
(ding)
- I see on their website
got a lot of attentiot today for plugging the president's
Mar-a-Lago resort. (ding)
- [News Anchor] Trump is famous for his long-lasting,
very firm handshake. (ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding)
- What'd I miss?
- Please.
(ding)
(ding)
- Thank you, everybody. (ding)
(ding)
- I'm not ranting or anything, I'm just telling you,
you know, you're dishonest people.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] Steve Bannon labels the media,
"the opposition party," (ding)
saying the press "should keep its mouth shut."
(ding)
(ding)
- At some point,
the facts are what they are. (ding)
- Sean Spicer, our press secretary,
gave alternative facts. (ding)
- [News Anchor] The Bowling Green massacre
that Conway mentioned
never happened. (ding)
- [Drump] I'm reminded of that proverb,
I've heard it for many, many years
and I love it. (ding)
You look at what's happening last night in Sweden.
(ding)
Sweden. (ding)
Who would believe this?
Sweden! (ding)
I guess it was the biggest electoral college win
since Ronald Reagan. (ding)
- President Obama got 365 in 2008.
- Well, I'm talking about Republican.
(ding)
- And George H. W. Bush, 426.
So, why should Americans trust you
when you're just misrepresenting information?
(ding)
- [News Anchor] His own daughter, Tiffany Trump,
is registered
in two states. (ding)
(ding)
- Wire tapping, I guess, by, you know,
this past administration,
at least we have something in common, perhaps.
(ding)
(audience laughs) (ding)
Trust me,
I'm like a smart person. (ding)
You know what uranium is, right?
It's a thing called nuclear weapons and other things like,
lots of things are done with uranium,
including some bad things. (ding)
Our first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln.
Most people don't even know he was a Republican, right?
Does anyone know? (ding)
But we just can't make mistakes, right?
So we don't make mistakes.
Go ahead, Ken.
- Chuck Canterbury,
the national president for... (ding)
- We've just launched 59
missiles
heading to Iraq.
- (stammering) Headed to Syria.
- Yes, heading toward Syria. (ding)
My thanks go to speaker Ryan.
I said, "Ron," (ding)
"make sure these countries start paying their bills
"a little bit more, you know?
"They're way, way behind, Ron."
(ding) We have to do,
I'm gonna talk to you about that, Ron.
(ding)
But Paul, you're over with NATO,
get 'em to pay their bills, I think that.
And Ron, (ding)
you have to work on that too.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] Trump tweeted from his private account
that he was "honered" to serve as president.
The word "honored" was misspelled.
(ding)
- [News Anchor] "To" as in T-O instead of the adverb
spelled T-O-O. (ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding)
(ding) (ding)
(ding)
- [News Anchor] The camera's captured her
nudging President Trump during the national anthem,
the moment prompting a lot of response--
(ding)
- [News Anchor] President Trump lambasted
the leader of Australia
before asserting this was the worst call by far
and abruptly hanging up the phone.
(ding)
- Mean-spirited
and un-American.
- Chuck Schumer, yesterday, with fake tears.
I'm gonna ask him who is his acting coach.
(ding)
And they hired a big, big movie star,
Arnold Schwarzenegger, to take my place.
The ratings went right down the tubes
and I want to just pray for Arnold, if we can,
for those ratings, okay? (ding)
- Trump's weekends at Mar-a-Lago
costing taxpayers millions while Camp David
sits deserted. (ding)
- Because I'm gonna be working for you,
I'm not gonna have time to go play golf and,
believe me.
- [Announcer] President Trump for the birdie.
(dings)
- [News Anchor] O'Reilly and Fox News have paid out
$13 million to settle claims of sexual harassment.
Trump just told the New York Times,
"I don't think Bill did anything wrong."
(ding)
- Putin's a killer.
- A lot of killers,
you get a lot of killers. (ding)
(honking) (dings)
- President Trump made a lot of big promises
for his first 100 days but--
- [News Anchor] The GOP's healthcare bill,
dead on arrival. (ding)
- Nobody knew that healthcare could be so complicated.
(ding)
The officer's cold voice,
victims of immigration, crime, engagement.
(ding)
- I think it's probably one of the most compassionate
things we can do to actually...
- Cut programs that help the elderly and kids?
- You're only-- (ding)
- [News Anchor] The key provisions of this
have been essentially put on hold.
This makes it as if the order
was never signed. (ding)
(dings)
- [Drump] This is more work than in my previous life.
I thought it would be easier. (ding)
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