- Hello and welcome to another episode of you guessed it,
The Shirtless Painter.
Anyone can paint, and anyone can paint anything,
including my very special guest who I'm joined by today,
a good friend of mine and fellow artist, Louie Anderson.
Louie thanks so much for being here.
- Thank you Shirtless.
- Louie is gonna be painting along with me,
which I encourage all of you to take of your shirts and do
at home.
And if you want to follow along we'll be flashing
some of the materials we're gonna be using on your screen.
And today in honor of my friend Louie being here
I thought that since I have a friend I do know
we can each paint a friend we'd like to know.
So Louie and I are each going to painting our idea
of a fun new friend that we'd like to meet.
So without further ado lets start flashing those colors
and get right into it.
- Yes, I love a big brush.
Just so you know.
I don't know what kind of brush,
need a little water there.
I love acrylics, don't you?
- I certainly do, I like to use acrylics.
- Oh my god I got, oh Jesus.
- Well you know what we say on this show,
there are no goof ups only pleasant whoopsies.
So that's just what we consider a pleasant whoopsie.
- Pleasant whoopsie.
- So I'm gonna get right into it with some orange.
- I am not going to use orange.
- And you don't have to.
- I know I don't have to do what you do right?
- You don't have to do anything anyone does.
- Hey if you are noticing what's dangling from my wrist,
guess what these are?
Tell 'em.
- Best friends, best friends bracelets, so.
- 99 cents.
- Very good deal, I encourage you all at home
to find a friend to paint with
and maybe you could get your own set of jewelry.
- So how long have you been painting Shirtless?
- I've been painting since I was about six years old.
- Oh my god.
So in a diaper.
- I was in a diaper and nothing more.
And I like to believe I would've started to paint sooner
had I had access to paints.
But I first started painting with apple sauce
and different baby foods and gradually moved on to acrylics
and here I am today.
- And when it was a dark scene you got the peas.
- Exactly, the peas or plums.
Just any old color of baby food.
- Now you know sometimes a canvas is too big.
You ever notice that?
- [Shirtless] I have.
- Like I'm just feeling like I've attempted something
that I think is going to end up haunting me.
Does that ever whoopsie?
- Pleasant whoopsie.
- Pleasant whoopsie.
Now you can put water into an acrylic am I right?
- Yes absolutely.
- Otherwise I am.
- Water is the ingredient that activates the paint,
I like to say.
The paint is like ramen noodles and water is,
well in this situation like water, boiling water.
- [Louie] I love ramen.
- I do too.
- Getting the plastic off ramen sometimes
can really ruin the whole deal.
Have you ever had that happen?
- Yeah.
- I end up biting it sometimes.
- Sometimes you have to.
- Yeah, just to get to.
So in case you're wondering what I'm doing?
I was attempting.
Well maybe I'll just wait to tell you.
Do you explain anything to people?
- Please, let us know how you're doing,
how you're feeling.
- I'm trying to get a sky that I've already feel
like I failed, do you see?
- I think it looks beautiful.
- You do?
- I do, I truly do, I think.
- I love that.
- You think it's a unique sky and I think it's nice.
- Oh it's exhausting, the painting.
- Painting can be tiring.
- So just relax Louie.
That's what I like to say to myself
when I'm stressing about how my sky's gonna look.
- Yeah just relax.
- Who cares.
- Who cares, exactly that's my motto.
My motto is anybody can paint, and anyone can paint anything
but my other motto is who cares.
- Yes.
That's one of my motto's that I'm glad you're using,
who cares.
- Who cares.
So I'm sort of getting things started
with my new friend here and right off the bat,
I think my new friend, he or she, is not exactly human.
It's sort of odd shaped.
And I'm putting a little hat on it right now
because I like to think my new friend wears a hat.
- Who doesn't love a hat on a friend?
- I love a good hat.
Jesus I wish I could get.
I'm so impatient sometimes.
I might start a series called the impatient painter.
- And that would be okay and we would support it.
And I think our friends at home would watch that at home
as well.
- Would you?
- I personally think that most TV shows
should be about painting.
That's just my opinion.
- I agree, even if they're about economics,
paint the numbers.
- Right.
- Paint the arrows.
- Give us something beautiful to look at
while you talk about money.
I think my new friend--
- You're getting ahead of me.
I mean I know it's not a competition.
- It's not a race.
- It does feel like one.
- Speaking of race, my friend so far
has orange skin and I think I'm going to go ahead and--
- [Louie] So republican then.
- He just may be.
- Kidding, that was a joke.
- And that's okay.
I think I might make him a pumplican which is--
- A repumplican.
- [Shirtless] Which is a pumpkin person.
- A repumplican.
- A person who votes for pumpkins and is one.
And is one.
Mines got a pumpkin head.
(hums)
Alright so I've got my main pumpkin shape here.
I'm just gonna fill it in here.
But then I'm gonna move into the features,
I'm gonna carve out the features.
- Carving out the features.
What do you do with your brush now?
Where do you put it, right in the water?
- I dip it in the water.
- But when I'm done with my basic sky.
Feel free to sed it down on the shirtless painter
brand rags that we have here.
- [Louie] Oh those are nice.
- They're not for sale, I just give them away to friends,
so you will be able to take that home.
- [Louie] Thank you.
- You're very welcome.
- I'm trying to
to make something
work here but ive kind of lost my way.
- That's okay.
- But I'm going to continue.
I'm not gonna give up, don't think that.
- [Shirtless] Soldier on.
- [Louie] Soldier on.
- Just embrace the whoopsies.
- The whoopsies, that's one of my favorite things,
the whoopsies.
- It's just a case of thew whoopsies,
you've heard of the case of the Mondays?
Well you do the math, a case of the whoopsies.
Alright so I've got my sort of main pumpkin head
sketched out here and I'm gonna make this sort of a
tilted down pumpkin so that the stem is the pumpkin's nose.
- Wow, I am working on
a certain kind of friend that is probably a little different
than you probably had in mind.
- [Shirtless] That's okay.
- But I'm gonna go with that?
- Friends come in all shapes, all sizes, all colors,
all species.
- I was gonna be the shirtless comic also,
like he's a shirtless painter so I was gonna
be like a shirtless comic painting.
But it's so cold in here.
- It is.
- I couldn't do it.
- We keep it very cold.
- It's ice cold, in fact there's ice back here
just sitting out.
What was your inspiration you think
to be the shirtless painter?
Was it just one day where you were sitting that and went
oh this shirt is so heavy, or?
- You know I tried wearing,
this is the first time I ever delved into this but.
- Is it?
- It is yes.
- I mean I don't want to intrude.
- No, I'm glad you brought it up because
I as I said, you know as we all were,
I was born shirtless, I mean.
Sound off if you were born with a shirt on,
I'd like to meet you and shake your hand.
But I was born shirtless and one day I tried a shirt on,
it was for Easter and my mother insisted, I please try
a shirt, but when I put it on
I just laid facedown on the floor and just wouldn't move.
So they decided let him not wear the shirt,
and I've been painting ever since.
So that's kind of my story.
- Thank you for sharing that.
- Thank you it feels good to get it out.
- Traumatic, it's good to get some of that stuff out.
- Like a shirt, it felt good to get it off my chest.
That's a little joke I tell.
- I love that.
- That's my joke, I know you're a comedian,
but that's my little joke.
- Oh I'm a painter today.
- Today.
- I'm a painter.
- We're all painters.
- I'm a painter.
Do you ever just do that,
do you sit there and go, I'm a painter.
- That's how I fall asleep actually, most nights.
- When I fall asleep I go, I'm a baker, I'm a baker.
I love to bake.
- That I bet is a good way to bring on dreams about baking.
- Yeah, and then you get too excited
and you go bake stuff and then you can't get to sleep.
- You're gonna find yourself sleep baking.
- [Louie] Sleep baking.
- It's a fun but dangerous problem.
- Only on ambien.
- ' Cause the good news is you wake up with fresh cookies.
The bad news is you're playing with knives and ovens
while your asleep which is very dangerous.
- Now listen, I am looking for a different kind of color
that I don't have here, and it looks like you have it.
- You're missing some colors?
- Let's see, I have an idea.
I'll be right back.
- Feel free to look around for any colors you might need.
- I'm looking for a different kind of,
wow you have a lot of good stuff in there.
- You don't mind if I use a little mustard.
- Not at all, please.
- Looking for a little yellow.
And I'm looking for a certain yellow.
See look at that yellow.
And then you look at this.
(splurts)
Excuse me.
And then you look at that yellow, look.
- That's a beautiful yellow.
That's a yellow you can't get with paint.
- I'm so happy.
Oh watch that is gonna make.
- Oh that's quite lovely.
- It's not bad right?
- And it smells good too.
- Yeah it smells delicious.
- I've always been a bigger fan of mustard
than I am of ketchup.
I know it's a controversial opinion.
- Ketchup that makes me think that could be a red I could
use in here.
- I think we may have some in the studio.
We try to keep it stocked with every type of material
you could potentially want to paint with.
- Yeah, let me try this red first thought
'cause I don't want to just discount the colors
you've given me.
- I would not be insulted.
- No you don't seem like the type of person that could
even be insulted.
- I've been told it's almost impossible to insult me.
I just don't take it to heart.
- This is definitely a 70's interpretations of a person here
that I knew a celebrity
but I just don't want to divulge that.
But this is definitely someone I knew.
- I'm gonna use my imagination and picture it
as one celebrity.
I'm picturing it as Tim Allen, but I don't imagine.
- It's not Tim Allen.
Although I like Tim, he's nice.
- I like the show Home Improvement.
- That guy though, he took my job at the Feud away from me.
That Richard Cairns.
- Oh of course.
- I don't really.
- We don't love Richard Cairns.
- I mean I don't hate Richard Cairns for it,
I hate you know.
- The system that created Richard Cairns.
- Yeah the whole fence and stuff that was going on there.
I'm just you know, I'm looking for a little redness.
- Please, feel free to look around.
- Thank you.
You're so giving.
- Take anything you need Louie, and feel free
to take home any paints, take home my painting.
- I love ketchup.
Don't you?
I'm looking for a ketchup, oh that is a good bottle, huh?
- That is a rich red.
- Jesus, rich red, rich red.
Remember that?
- From the Shining, this could be the Shining.
- Honey I'm home.
- Honey I'm home and I want a hot dog.
Hungry for hot dogs.
- [Louie] Honey I'm home and I want a hot dog.
You're funny.
- Thank you so much.
- I love that, now look at.
I want to show you the ketchup, oh it's not working.
I mean you can sort of, I was just looking for
the morning red under the eyes.
Oh look at me, do you ever get stuff on you?
Look at that.
- I do.
- I'm so messy.
- I save a lot of money on tide sticks and laundry detergent
though, I just sort of wait for the layer of dead skin
to come off.
(laughs)
- Layer of dead skin.
- Alright so I'm working on my friend over here,
I just gave him or her,
I haven't decided the gender yet and maybe I never will,
I just gave my friend a shirt.
And I think this friend is sort of a fun friend
so I'm gonna give my friend a sort of fun Hawaiian style
shirt with designs on it and things.
So I think I'm gonna give my friend a shirt
with little palm trees on it.
Because maybe this friend likes to go to the beach.
- My friend is on acid.
- Oh.
- Or something like that, some life is beautiful deal.
Have you ever heard of the life is beautiful concert
in Vegas where they have a billion people and bands.
- And they do acid?
- Well, I don't know what they do.
- It's none of our business if they do.
- Yeah, if you're gonna experiment, don't.
Know what you're taking, don't be silly.
If someone goes open your mouth go wait a minute.
- It's not an experiment, make it deliberate.
- I've got a series of different birds flying around mine.
They're not the greatest birds but they're off
in the distance you can't even tell they're birds.
Also this could be thoughts that the person's having.
- Sometimes I think that birds are thoughts,
sort of personified.
It makes a certain amount of sense,
so many thoughts floating around the world,
so many birds up in the sky.
- Do you ever get photos from people
where they're painting without their shirt?
- I do, and I can always use more.
- Oh that's fun, send it.
- I could always use more.
And I'll forward it to Louie.
- Yes, please do, very good.
- Send us your shirtless photos.
- Yes.
- Alright so I painted a few palm trees on here.
I think that's.
- It's exhausting work.
- It really is, painting is exhausting.
- I'm just gonna let mine settle for a second.
- Please, one key part of paint is letting it dry.
So definitely don't skip that step.
In the meantime, I'm going to go ahead and,
so far my friend has a head and a shirt,
but we're gonna go ahead and give this friend some limbs.
So that he may paint himself, or she, like I said.
We don't know the gender yet.
- Limps are hard too, maybe I'll do a limb.
Yeah mine is more of expressionism.
- I'm a big fan of expressionism, and expression.
- I love to make expressions.
- That's a good example of expressionism.
And then abstract.
- I'm gonna get one more thing if you don't mind.
Saw something over here that I thought you might enjoy.
I hope you.
- I'm just giving my friend some testicles here.
(chews)
- Mm, ah, mm.
Look I made you something.
- Oh thank you so much.
- I thought you looked hungry.
- I could probably use a sandwich.
- How about a, you know, how about a bite.
- Absolutely you don't have to ask me twice.
I love painting and I love sandwiches.
- Hey don't be afraid to eat
in the middle of your masterpiece.
- You need energy to paint.
- Oh!
Sorry, I love food.
Am I right, how about chips.
- This is a good sandwich.
- [Louie] This is a good sandwich isn't it?
- Very good.
- You know I might've invented something here today.
Painting with food.
- You heard it here first folks, painting with food.
- Painting with food.
- It's a new medium invented by my friend, Louie Anderson.
- Imagine spaghetti thrown into a canvas.
- I'm listening.
- I mean some of it, you want to keep some of it.
- Right, throw a handful, keep a handful.
That's my new motto based on your inspiration.
- Another chip?
- Thank you so much.
- I'm gonna put my sandwich back do you want to keep yours?
- I'll hang on to it.
- I'll hang onto mine then.
I'm trying to follow your lead.
Alright I'm gonna go back to, mm!
- Okay, so I've added some tentacles to my friend.
- I'm gonna put mine down.
- Set mine down right there.
You've gotta be careful not to drink the paint water,
but if you do, whoops, that's okay.
- Is acrylic, I suppose it would be terrible
to drink the paint water.
- I've done it before.
- [Louie] Have you?
- Couple times on accident, and I'll confess,
once or twice on purpose.
It's sort of like when you smell a dog biscuit
and you wonder, 'cause they smell good,
and don't even try to tell me they don't.
You wonder what it would taste like.
And you take a little bite, it doesn't taste so good, so.
We all make mistakes.
But there are no mistakes.
So no we don't, we all make pleasant whoopsies.
- I just don't know if I want to do any more to this.
I don't know, do I have it, or?
- If you feel that it's complete?
- In some ways i feel like it's perfect.
In other ways I feel like I could never finish it.
It's like a Scorsese film.
- That's a problem I run into.
- You just slowly abandon it.
- My friend just seems like kind of a cool, fun,
party type so I think this friend might ride a skateboard,
so I'm gonna give him a skateboard.
- I'm really anxious that you are lapping me as a painter.
But you do have more experience so.
- Like I said I do this-- - Not gonna get competitive.
- Yeah it's not a, I don't believe in competition.
I just believe in-- - How many guests
have you had as a painter?
- Well as far as I'm concerned you're my first guest.
- Well that sounds either real
or you're just making me feel good.
- It might be just a little bit of both.
- Which is not bad!
- No. - Is it?
- I think it's okay.
- You know, I think we think too much,
I don't think we paint enough.
Write that down on a shirt.
- Please put it on a t-shirt, I won't be wearing it, but.
(laughs) You all should.
- You kill me, I won't be wearing it.
- [Shirtless] You kill me Louie.
- I don't want to kill you.
- Please don't murder me, but you do kill me.
In a fun way.
- In a fun way.
I kill you in a fun way, mustard in my ketchup.
Mustard in my ketchup.
Get some mustard in my ketchup.
Get some mustard in my ketchup.
- Get some.
- Get some mustard in my ketchup.
(laughs)
- Get some today.
- Hot dog on the grill.
- Get some. - Get some.
Mustard in my ketchup.
- Hot dog on the grill.
I'm with the shirtless painter
and we didn't even take a pill.
- We didn't.
- [Louie] We didn't.
- We're having this much fun without taking a pill,
can you even believe it?
- Mustard in my ketchup.
Relish on my shirt.
- Well.
- No I don't have relish on my shirt.
You know, oh my god I got ketchup, I've been shot!
I've been shot!
- Someone get it here!
Put pressure on it.
- Where's your thing.
- Here, the pallet knife.
- Yeah, give me the pallet knife.
- This is a job for the pallet knife.
- Yes I know my tools.
Here's what I'm going to do.
I hope you don't mind.
- Perfect.
- Look at that.
- There you go.
- Sometimes you just got throw the paint.
- Look at that.
That's like a divine intervention.
- Check this out.
- Oh yeah, oh nice.
Oh my God well I'm not gonna copy you, forget that.
But I do love it.
You outdid yourself.
- I was inspired by you.
- Yeah well, I was inspired by a spill.
Which is weird isn't it?
- Now I just want to fling paint.
- Yeah, well that's okay, feel free to do that.
- Oh my God, this is combination of green and ketchup.
- There was the period where Heinz I believe it was,
introduced green ketchup to try to make it more
appealing to the kids, but.
- It was, is that true, I think that might be a true story.
- This is a true story.
- Heinz tried the green ketchup.
Kids went I don't think so.
Here uh, oh god, that was close.
I'm gonna put my pallet down before I hurt somebody.
- Please Louie, don't hurt anyone.
You've herd of the MC Hammer album,
please Hammer don't hurt 'em.
Well this is please Louie--
- [Louie] Please Louie don't hammer me.
- Don't hammer me.
- That sounds bad doesn't it?
- Sounds a little naughty but that's okay.
- [Louie] Does it thought, I love it.
- Sometimes you have to be a little naughty.
Alright so now I'm just sort of.
- Let me see yours, can I?
- Yes please.
- Oh my God you're fantastic.
- Thank you so much.
- You should.
Look how the mustard turned out.
- I like to think that he spilled a little on his shirt,
he or she, was at a summer barbecue.
- Listen you know what I like about the mustard
situation there?
It's fabulous.
- Thank you so much.
- [Louie] It's fabulous and you don't know it's mustard.
You think it's just, you know what it looks like?
Kind of a silk tie you've put on him.
- That's a great point and I was inspired by you
and your bravery quite frankly.
To explore new mediums.
- I love this painting and I hate it at the same time.
- I think a painting that evokes conflicting emotions
like that is a sign of a good painting.
- Yes, a runny nose.
I got a runny nose.
- If a painting makes your nose run
then you know you might be doing something right.
- I think it's the turpentine is really pungent, pungent.
Hey pungent, have you seen pungent lately?
- I haven't seen pungent.
Pungent's an old friend of ours that we used to paint with.
- Pungent, I'm not sure where pungent is from
he never would say.
I'm not sure Pungent was a guy.
- I don't know what pungent was
as that never bothered either of us.
- We could care less.
Pungy.
- Old Pungy we'd say.
- Pungy. - Pungy where you been?
We could smell you from a mile away.
He did smell.
That's I guess where he got his name.
- It was a disorder.
- Alright so I'm gonna add one little touch here.
My friend has been a real fun loving person.
But I think I'm gonna have my friend have a career too.
And I'm just gonna give this person a little press pass,
in the hat up here just like old times.
- [Louie] Pumpkin press pass!
- Press is so important.
- Isn't it though?
- It really is and I think it's not important
as painting, I will say that.
Not even close.
- I love a couple of pockets in the front of an apron.
- It's great you can store almost anything in there.
- You could fill these with anything, I just love that.
Plus look, it's like a rest stop for my hands.
- Exactly, pockets are like a rest stop
for your hands, we're gonna have to call up
the t-shirt factory because we're coining a lot.
- I got a rest stop for my hands.
Just slide in.
Hey what are you doing down there hands?
I'm just resting.
- Just resting.
- I rest stop for my hands.
- Okay so I ran out of room for the.
- Press pass?
- It's got P R E in there.
- People know what that is.
- Well just because there's no reason not to
I'm going to go ahead and add the S's
in the friends eyes.
- S is in your eyes, that means you're a financial planner.
I love all the early batmans you know?
- I do too.
- Adam West, I love the Adam West one.
With the kapow.
You should have like a thing
where you're over here it's just like a kapow.
- I think that's good, maybe if it says like pallet knife.
Or kersplat.
- Kersplat is it, Kersplat!
- I think we found it, we'll get the graphics team.
- Adam Ward.
- Oh yeah of course.
- He used to come to the comedy store all the time.
He's Robin.
- Yeah, the original Robin.
Alright well I think my friend is coming along here
really nicely and I think the last thing I'm gonna do here
is just its pretty clear that my friend is positive
but just to drive it home I'm gonna have my friend
giving a thumbs up.
- You know why I think you're successful at this?
- Why's that.
- Well you didn't get distracted.
I got distracted, I saw condiments.
I painted with them, but I took them to make a sandwich.
Even though if I do invent painting with food
and condiments, I think you're a purist.
There are not a lot of purists around
I want you to know that.
- Well I appreciate that.
And I will say in your defense.
There's a fine line between distraction and inspiration.
Sometimes you need to go outside take walk,
get a sandwich, splatter some mustard.
- I would like to not get either of those words
in a spelling bee, distraction or inspiration.
I would not be sure of both of those.
- I can spell the word paint brush canvas
and on a good day my own name.
- What about ketchup?
- That's a touch one.
- Don't you love people who insist
on ketchup.
- I know, they make it complicated
they have to have multiple spellings.
Which it's hard enough to spell as it is.
- Do you know that kids today are going to live
possibly to the year like a thousand years old?
Because technology is gonna catch up.
- To me that's good news because more time for painting.
- Well there you go.
- Okay so I think I have my main painting done.
So you're all done, I'm all done.
I think we did a good job on our main course.
Why not have some desert.
Let's go ahead and crack into these bad boys here.
- Oh yeah are they fixed?
- They're fixed on there so they're not going anywhere.
This one works pretty well.
- I might burn mine open.
- Hold it down for you?
- Yes.
- You really just beat the devil out of it.
- Well I really feel like Johnny Carson.
- Okay I'm gonna read mine and you read yours.
Mine says you will find inspiration
from old friends and new, and I think that couldn't have
been more true today.
- You better get on a diet soon.
That seems cruel.
- That's not a very nice one.
Usually they're nicer than that.
- Oh I got it upside down.
You are a riot!
- And I think that's true.
And I want to thank my guest Louie Anderson
so much for joining me today.
I want to thank you all for watching,
I encourage you all to take off your shirts
paint along with me and us next time.
And pungent if you're still out there
please get in touch.
- Pungy, done be a stranger.
- Come back to us Pungy.
(piano music)
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