-Happy Friday, everybody.
Guys, the midterm elections are coming up.
And I saw that by election day,
President Trump will have spoken at over 30 rallies in 5 weeks.
The media says that's a lot of time
to spend away from the White House,
or as White House staffers put it, "Shut up."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Let him -- Let him play."
Yeah, I read that Trump is planning
to hold 10 more rallies before November 6th.
If he gets tired, they're just going to put a wig
on an air horn and hope nobody notices.
[ Imitating air horn ]
[ Air horn blows ] Thank you.
I saw that Trump actually scheduled a rally
in Florida on Halloween.
He's giving out tickets by saying it's a live performance
of "The Great Pumpkin."
[ Laughter and applause ]
But the midterms are just 11 days away.
Yeah, 11 days, or as Trump calls that, just one Scaramucci.
[ Laughter and applause ]
I read that Democrats are hoping
that their support for legal weed
will help them at the polls.
I don't know how confident you can feel
when your strategy relies on stoners remembering to vote.
It's like, "Is that -- Is that tomorrow?
November 29th, man, I'm there."
[ Laughter ]
"Isn't that Christmas?"
I heard that Utah might legalize marijuana.
So, a state lawmaker went to Nevada to research weed.
[ Light laughter ]
When asked what he learned,
his staff said, "That was four days ago.
He hasn't come back."
He's like, "I'll be right there November 29th."
As I mentioned, the midterms are coming up,
and Americans are more divided than ever about who to vote for.
So we thought, what if we can combine candidates
to create one candidate that everyone can agree on?
I'll show you what I mean.
For example, if you combine Missouri Republican Noga Sachs
with Tennessee Republican Jody Ball,
they become Ball Sachs.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Next up, if you combine
California Green Party candidate Barry Hermanson
with Michigan Democrat Debbie Dingell,
they become Dingell Barry.
[ Laughter ]
Everyone can relate to these.
If you combine --
[ Laughter ]
If you combine Illinois Republican Jaye DeBates
and Pennsylvania Republican Kurt Masser,
they become Masser DeBates.
-Thank you.
♪♪
-DeBates.
-If you --
[ Laughter ]
Now you're all playing along. Here we go right now.
Finally, if you combine Colorado Republican Peter Yu...
-Okay.
-...and Maryland Democrat Bill Frick,
they become Frick Yu.
I'm just saying, these are all candidates we can all agree on.
We can all vote for and come together.
Listen to this.
Did you guys hear that the Vatican
just launched a new game for kids
that's like "Pokémon GO" where you actually collect saints.
-Oh.
-When asked if it's as fun as "Pokémon GO,"
kids were like, "No."
[ Laughter ]
But it turns out that's not the only video game
that the Vatican made.
They also released a special Pope edition of Super Mario.
Check this thing out. [ Video game music plays ]
Uh-oh.
Oh. Wait.
What?
There's the smoke.
We got a new pope. There it is.
Fantastic game.
Once can see the smoke, that means you cleared the level.
-You have a new pope.
-This is going viral, guys.
Someone took a video of two corgis
working out on a treadmill.
Did you see this?
Two corgi dogs are working out at a gym.
But I'm not sure they were both
putting in the same amount of effort.
Watch this.
[ Laughter ]
That dude like...
As long as the Fitbit's on that paw, it totally counts.
Counts as a step.
For more infomation >> President Trump's Midterm Rally Tour - Duration: 4:11.-------------------------------------------
Tonight Show Superlatives: 2018 NFL Season - Vikings and Saints - Duration: 1:34.
-First up, for the Vikings, is Tyler Conklin.
He was voted "Most Likely to Ask His Barber for
'The Genie from 'Aladdin.''"
[ Laughter ]
Next up, for the Vikings, we have Brandon Zylstra.
He was voted "Most Likely to Have an Adam's Grapefruit."
[ Laughter ]
Next up is Saints quarterback Drew Brees.
He was voted "Most Likely to be Your Dad's Old College Friend
Who's About to Crash With You Guys for Eight Months."
[ Laughter ]
"I remember when you were just the size of a beer can.
Now, get me a beer can."
Next, for New Orleans, we have Tre'Quan Smith.
He was voted "Most Likely to End Every Staring Contest
With a Soft Kiss."
[ Laughter ]
Next, for Minnesota, we have Kevin McDermott.
He was voted "Most Likely to Raise His Hand
Right Before the Bell Rings to Remind the Teacher
They Forgot to Assign Homework."
[ Laughter ]
"You also said something about a pop quiz."
Next up, for New Orleans, is Max Unger.
He was voted "Most Likely to Lean Into a River
and Catch a Salmon Using Only His Mouth."
Wow.
[ Chomps ]
[ Makes growling noise ]
Next up, from the Saints, we have Ken Crawley.
He was voted "Most Likely to Have Just Found Out
His Airbnb is Haunted."
[ Laughter ]
And Finally, for the Vikings, is David Morgan.
He was voted "Pre-Malone."
There you go, guys. Those are your NFL superlatives.
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20 Most Controversial Love Affairs of Bigg Boss House 🔥🔥🔥 - Duration: 8:13.
20 Most Controversial Love Affairs of Bigg Boss House
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Cute Baby Feeding Food For Daddy - Funny Cute Video - Duration: 3:09.
Do that to me, that's me. I'm more puppy
Thank you
The cameras are
Oh
Okay, take a bite Mellie
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"Shakti Kapoor" Per Gande Aarop Lagane Ke Baad Kaise Palti "Poonam Pandey" | MeToo Effect - Duration: 3:10.
"Shakti Kapoor" Pr Gande Aarop Lagane Ke Baad Palti "Poonam Pandey" | #MeToo Effect
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How to make Sand Screening Machine - Duration: 5:47.
How to make Sand Screening Machine from Cardboard
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Tom Tom | Drums Song | Kids Songs & Nursery Rhymes - Duration: 2:03.
Oh Tom Tom he likes the beat
so listen to the rhythm in your feet
so now let's feel the rhythm in your toes
and now let's feel the rhythm in your nose
when Tom Tom he plays the beat
the people listening dance in the street
so now let's feel the rhythm in your thumbs
and now let's feel the rhythm in your bums
Tom Tom banging cymbals and drums
oh Tom Tom we're gonna have some fun
hey Tom Tom banging cymbals and drums
oh doo bop dee do bop bop
oh Tom Tom he likes the beat
so listen to the rhythm in your feet
so now let's feel the rhythm in your toes
and now let's feel the rhythm in your nose
when Tom Tom he plays the beat
the people listening dance in the street
so now let's feel the rhythm in your thumbs
and now let's feel the rhythm in your bums
Tom Tom banging cymbals and drums
oh Tom Tom we're gonna have some fun
hey Tom Tom banging cymbals and drums
oh Tom Tom we're gonna have some fun
hey Tom Tom banging cymbals and drums
oh doo bop dee doop bop dop
hi everyone, I hope you enjoyed our video
and for more Lah-Lah musical fun
don't forget to click on the next video
and don't forget to subscribe
see you soon
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Cute Sweet Baby And Pit Bull Dog Compilation - Funny Dogs Video - Duration: 3:59.
Okay
Yeah
But do my region my fault let's also do a video
Because if I
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Breakup status video - Very sad whatsapp status video - Duration: 2:25.
New sad whatsapp status
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Funny Pug Dog Moments Compilation #3 - Cute Dog Video - Duration: 10:41.
Give me mr. Free
Lucy you can do it
Oh
Don't give up Lucy
Come on Lu
You've done it before come on you can do it
There you go. Oh good
Cornette dick on it
Yeah, yeah munchies
I saw that
For you
Abba-abba-abba, Hey. Good morning. Are you awake?
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Self Defense Techniques In Car and Safety Hacks for Women - Simple Girls DIY! - Duration: 3:21.
For more infomation >> Self Defense Techniques In Car and Safety Hacks for Women - Simple Girls DIY! - Duration: 3:21. -------------------------------------------
Str8 Jacket Memories (Official Music Video) - Duration: 4:23.
I REMEMBER NOW
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA
PARANOIA TURNS OFF
MY SCHIZOPHRENIA KICKS IN
NARCISSISM TO START HALUCINATING THE END
THE TERROR TAKES HOLD
THE CRAWLING UNDER MY SKIN
THE MAN IN THE MIRROR IS MY ENEMY
I'M JUST A HEARTBEAT
FROM SNAPPING AGAIN
I'M COUNTING DOWN TIL THE CHAOS BEGINS
WHEN THE DUST CLEARS AWAY
I START TO THINK THAT I'M ME AGAIN
ME AGAIN
THEY SAY IT'S JUST NOT SO
NEUROTIC UNDERTOW
SOME DUDE THAT I DON'T KNOW
STICKS THE NEEDLE IN
NOW I'M FLYIN HIGH
CAN'T FIGHT MY WAY BACK DOWN
CAUGHT UP IN ANOTHER PSYCHO MEMORY
BAA BA BEE DAHBEE DAH BEE DAAAH BEE DABBA
DEEP IN MY HEART THERE'S A SPARK IN THE DARK
WHERE IT GLOWS IT TURNS
BLACK!!!
SEEING CHOKE WITH MY HANDS 'ROUND YOUR THROAT AS YOU LIFELESS GO...
BLACK!!!
MENTAL
LOCO
ANTISOCIAL
VIOLENT? OH SO!
BAD ASS MOFO
CIRCUS FREAKSHOW
PLEASE LET ME GO
BOMB UP! TIME BLOW!
WHHOOOAAA!
WHEN THE DUST CLEARS AWAY I START TO THINK THAT I'M FREE AGAIN, FREE AGAIN
THEY SAY IT'S JUST NOT SO
A TICK IN MY BLOODFLOW
SOME CHICK THAT I DON'T KNOW
STICKS THE NEEDLE IN
NOW I'M FLYIN HIGH
CAN'T FIGHT MY WAY BACK DOWN
CAUGHT UP IN ANOTHER PSYCHO MEMORY
OH! I CAN FEEL THE RIDE
COURSIN THROUGH MY BURNIN VEINS
CAUGHT UP IN ANOTHER PSYCHO MEMORY
wooooooobbleeeeeedoooooooo
booobeeeleeebloooobeeedeeeebooobleeebeeleleelelbeeeeevbleoobeooobellelemememembleleleeoooo
wwaaaaaaahhhhhh
PARANOIA TURNS OFF MY SCHIZOPHRENIA KICKS IN
NARCISSISM TO START HALLUCINATING THE END
THE TERROR TAKES HOLD
THE CRAWLING UNDER MY
SKIN....MY....SKIN....MY
I'M JUST A HEARTBEAT FROM SNAPPING AGAIN
I'M COUNTIN DOWN TIL THE CHAOS BEGINS
MENTAL
LOCO
PSYCHOSOCIAL
BOMB UP TIME BLOW
WHOOOOAAAAAA
STR8 JACKET MEMORIES BOUNCING OFF OF THE WALLS INSIDE OF MY MIND
STR8 JACKET MEMORIES BOUNCING....HEY...wait...IS HE REPEATING THIS AGAIN?
(yes....he repeats the same thing over and over again!)
UGH!!!! REALLY?
(I think he is about to pop a blood vessel in his brain!)
(clearly he couldn't think of anything else to write here)
(BORING!!!! I wonder what's on TV right now?)
STR8 JACKET MEMORIES BOUNCING OFF
THE WALLS
SWEET DREAMS.....YOU BASTARD
I REMEMBER NOW
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Bike Stunt Racer - New Best Android iOS Game HQ - Duration: 2:49.
Bike Stunt Racer - New Best Android iOS Game HQ
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