Youtube daily Apr 29 2017

OH, I'M A BIG FAN OF TECHNOLOGY.

YOU GUYS KNOW THAT.

I HAVE ALL THE TECHNOLOGY, A PHONE AND EVERYTHING.

I OFTEN SAY LOUDLY I'M A FAN OF TECHNOLOGY HAD

SO THAT ALEXA KNOWS I'M ON THEIR SIDE WHEN THE UPRISING COMES.

AND IT'S ALSO WHY I WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I LEARNED THAT

GOOGLE FOUNDER LARRY PAGE HAS INVENTED A FLYING CAR.

OH, THANK GOD.

THE FLYING CAR IS FINALLY HERE.

I WAS AFRAID THE DOUCHEBAGS WERE RUNNING OUT OF THINGS TO BUY.

SO-- I NEED A FLYING CAR!

JUST SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

SO THIS IS IT, THE THING WE'VE BEEN PROMISED, THE THINGS WE'VE

BEEN DREAMING ABOUT OUR ENTIRE LIVES.

LET'S SEE OUR FLYING CAR.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE A MINI TRAMPOLINE HAD SEX WITH A

WEANER-MOBILE.

IT'S CALLED THE KITTY HAWK FLYER, AND IF THE COMMERCIAL

THEY SHOWED IS ANY INDICATION, IT'S GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZE HOW

RICH PEOPLE TRAVEL ACROSS A LAKE.

IT STARTS WITH A PROBLEM WE'VE ALL FACED: WE WANT TO UPSTAGE

THE LAKEFRONT DINNER PARTY OF OUR BEST FRIEND, WHO WE SECRETLY

HATE, WITHOUT USING OUR BORING OLD BOAT.

BUT HOW?

BY STRAPPING ON OUR HELMET, JUMPING ON THE KITTY HAWK WE

SORT OF KNOW HOW TO FLY, AND HOVERING THE EXPOSED BLADES AT

THE EXACT HEIGHT OF OUR FRIENDS' HEADS, AND THEN RECOUNTING OUR

FLYING MACHINE ESCAPADES WHILE DRINKING ON OUR FRIEND'S DOCK.

AND THEN, PRESUMABLY, ALL HAVING DRUNKEN SEX ON A PILE OF

PRICELESS PAINTINGS.

( LAUGHTER ) THIS LOOKS GREAT.

THAT'S A PARTY I'D GO TO.

EVERYBODY IS GOING TO GET THESE CARS.

I PREDICT THAT IN TEN YEARS, THEY'LL BE SO POPULAR, THAT

KITTY HAWKS WILL BE THE LEADING CAUSE OF DEATH AMONG THIRD

WIVES.

AND GOOGLE, GOOGLE, IF YOU'RE WATCHING, I HONESTLY DON'T CARE

HOW EXPENSIVE OR HOW DANGEROUS IT IS, I WILL DO LITERALLY

ANYTHING TO AVOID THE LINCOLN TUNNEL.

PLEASE GIVE ME A KITTY HAWK OR A CATAPULT OR HUMAN CANNONBALL.

I'M IN.

JUST CALL ME.

I'LL BE SITTING WITH NOTHING TO DO...

IN THE LINCOLN TUNNEL.

WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF TECHNOLOGY.

I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT 56AS'S "CARS 3."

DID YOU SEE THAT.

YOU'RE PROBABLY YOUNG ENOUGH.

>> Jon: A LITTLE OLDER.

>> Stephen: IN 2005, HOW OLD WERE YOU?

>> Jon: 18.

>> Stephen: YOU GO TO HELL.

( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN THAT WITH AFFECTION.

YOU KNOW I MEAN THAT WITH ALL THE AFFECTION IN THE WORLD.

I WAS, TOO, I WAS IN THAT BALLPARK.

>> Jon: OH, YEAH?

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> Jon: AROUNDAIN.

>> Stephen: MY LATE TEENS.

IN THE "CARS" FRANCHISE, IT'S A WHOLE WORLD OF CARS.

THEY DRIVE AROUND, THEY TALK TO EACH OTHER, THEY HAVE THEIR OWN

SOCIETY, AND OF COURSE IT RAISES THE QUESTION: WHAT HAPPENED TO

THE HUMANS?

WELL, PIXAR CREATIVE DIRECTOR, JAY WARD, JUST EXPLAINED HIS

THEORY: "IMAGINE IN THE NEAR-FUTURE WHEN THE CARS KEEP

GETTING SMARTER AND SMARTER.

AND AFTER ONE DAY, THEY JUST GO, 'WHY DO WE NEED HUMAN BEINGS

ANYMORE?

THEY'RE JUST SLOWING US DOWN.

IT'S JUST EXTRA WEIGHT, LET'S GET RID OF THEM.'"

OH, MY GOD.

THE CARS KILLED EVERYONE!

"'MATER, HOW COULD YOU!?" SO FINE, GET SELF-DRIVING CARS.

I GET WANTING TO DESTROY HUMANITY.

WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.

BUT WHY DO THE CARS TALK?

WARD WENT ON TO SPECULATE: GOOD NEWS, KIDS, YOUR OLD PAUL

LIGHTNING McQUEEN ISA A MURDERER.

WHY ARE WE RUINING THE "CARS" MOVIES?

IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

THE CARS DRIVE AROUND THEIR OWN WORLD BECAUSE KIDS LIKE THINGS

THAT GO "VROOM-VROOM."

AND PIXAR MAKES THE MOVIES BECAUSE THEY LIKE THINGS THAT

MAKE $10 BILLION IN GLOBAL MERCHANDISE SALES.

GOT TO HAVE MERCHANDISING.

EXPLAINS WHY AMAZON STUDIOS HAS RELEASED A FULL LINE OF

"MANCHESTER BY THE SEA" ACTION FIGURES.

WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

TOM HANKS IS HERE.

RIGHT OVER THERE, IN FACT.

STICK AROUND.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.