[Applause]
see it as it is see it better than it is
make it the way you want it let me give
you five steps to really utilizing the
power of positive thinking even I always
said this is about negative thinking and
let me show you how to use negative
thinking in an assignment how to make
negative thinking something that's
useful for you so step number one decide
to develop the habit right now the habit
of focusing on what's right in your role
instead of what's wrong the habit of
focusing on what you do have and said
what you don't have in a situation and
then basic as that is and as well as you
know it you've got to make it a habit
because those habits form the chain of
your ultimate character will you become
and how you end up living your life
we've got to condition ourselves because
if we don't we'll go back to the
automatic state that most people live in
in today's society the way to develop
the habit is to go on a mental diet I
did this several years ago as positive
as I was I was going through
unbelievable pain at the time I'd have
some major disappointment some
frustrations I felt like I'd given it
all but turned me around and one day I
picked up this book called a seven-day
mental diet it was a little tiny little
booklet and all the booklet really did
was for about 12 of the 14 pages it
challenged me to really see if I could
really truly for seven days live my life
without one negative font and it kept
saying throughout the book now don't
just say yeah I can do it don't just say
I'm going to do it think for a while
before you commit to this don't actually
commit unless you're really going to do
it for seven straight days no matter
what it doesn't mean you don't have a
negative thought it just means that if
you have a negative thought you don't
speak it you set it aside you forget
about it or you replace it you say
something negative you go erase what I
really mean is this or you say that's
not what I mean here's what I mean is
this and you immediately focus on
something good not that nothing negative
ever comes out it's that you immediately
do not allow yourself to hold a negative
feeling a negative thought for seven
straight days day and night even when it
gets tough even with somebody disappoint
you even when you get frustrated even
when you give your all and still turns
up lousy listen if all he did was rant
rave on the state and you didn't listen
anything else I said but you took on the
seven day challenge you can't believe
what it'll do to your life now I got to
tell you when I first read the book I
thought wait a second being positive
isn't going to change my life I got to
be able to real problems are
those real challenges that are out there
I don't just be positive something says
how's it going to go I'm doing great and
I go why you know I don't know but I
just feel good I don't wanna be that way
I want to be real I want to be on top of
things but you know what I thought wait
a second I can be positive about
solutions
I can still notice that there's some
challenges out there without being
negative about it I can look at the
challenges and say okay here's what's
good about this here's how we can use
this here's how we can turn this thing
around and continue to focus on that so
I took on the challenge for seven days
changed my life
now by the way one of the keys is you
have to have seven straight days of
being absolutely positive not one
negative thought not one negative
expression that you hold on to gotta let
go of it immediately if you do not do
this if you're three days into it you do
well then you have a bunch of negativity
you got to start over and you know what
after you go about four five six days in
a row doing really well something major
negative is going to happen how's that
person positive programming but what it
is is the test is the out committed you
really are I say something after seven
days you feel like a different person
people around you respond to you like
you're different as well all you want to
do is establish the habit of noticing
what you do have instead of what you
don't have noticing what's great about a
situation versus what's not great
focusing on solution instead of problems
that's what changes your life
here's key number two instead of judging
yourself and others decide remember
these are decisions decide right now to
become curious instead of judgmental
remember when you find fault in other
people when you start noticing
constantly how they've wronged you how
this person is not good enough or
they're too egotistical they're too
proud if they don't really care about
people soon as you start judging other
people you just got to remember
something if you start judging other
people you can also start judging
yourself intensely if you're angry at
other people is a very good chance
you're angry at yourself as well maybe
proceed more in judge less maybe instead
of finding fault with other people
without really thinking about what
they've gone through to be where they
are this day maybe get really curious
about what's making this person be in
the state they're in or what's the
motivation behind this person's anger
for example lot of times I think
something's being negative or angry or
frustrated with them but we never
bothered to find out what's really going
on I know myself I was a party recently
I fell prey to this there was a woman
who came to the party everybody behind
her back them with how unbelievable
egotistical this woman how
she was you know when I sat next to her
at dinner time I got a chance to really
find out who she was I got curious about
her I'm gonna find about all the pain
she's been through in her life when I
realized was this woman was just barely
hanging on to her life she doesn't even
know that people care but she was so
afraid of being rejected that she put
out this ego because she didn't want
someone to reject her so she figured she
rejected them first and I got a chance
to really know and she was a wonderful
person I play something else we got to
be careful of that ties in with this are
far being judgmental out of our fear of
having heroes in our society today
we seem to try and consume them and
destroy them as quick as we can we try
to find something that's wrong with our
heroes because boy we don't want another
Jim Jones another Jim Baker remember we
got a judge less perceive more we got to
get curious instead of living in a
society where we're so afraid so afraid
to believe in anything or anyone that we
believe in nothing at all and we lose
our power our power of positive thinking
we try to protect ourselves and things
we maybe not even need to protect
ourselves from or we live in a society
where we try and destroy our heroes
where we take something like Barbara
Walters incredible broadcaster a woman
of incredible integrity who gets nailed
by one person in the book and it's in
every newspaper across the land how she
probably stomped on people to get where
she was that's absurd
our Martin Luther King after he's passed
on somebody comes back and stomps all
over his career his reputation is that
the society want to live in any person
who takes Glee and watching another
person's pain will experience plenty of
pain themselves remember the quote he
was without sin let him cast the first
stone the bottom line is if you go
looking for brown you're going to find
it anywhere you look for in others or
yourself free yourself from the disease
of making others wrong and you'll free
yourself from the disease and making
yourself wrong you have a lot more
energy to create solution instead of
problems it's part of the power of
positive thinking instead of falling for
the destructive power of negative
thinking if you want to get curious just
ask yourself what do I like about this
person wonder what's going on with this
person that would make them feel this
way how could I help this person as you
guys these kinds of questions you may
learn something about how human being is
operate about their motivations maybe
even some things about how to support
yourself as you try to support others
remember get curious instead of
judgmental here is key number three if
you really want to develop the power
our thinking as a habit as a lifestyle
or the strategy for success then decide
right now to find something to
appreciate from any seemingly negative
person or situation and develop the
habit of giving compliments see if you
really want to have some more positive
feelings in your life you gotta keep
focusing on what's right you got to get
curious and most importantly you got to
find something to appreciate even in the
tough times because in reality is we've
talked about so often before the
toughest times in your life sometimes
provide you with the real resources to
change your life so what we've got to do
is find something to appreciate not some
day when things work out we gotta
appreciate where we are right now and
this is something I talk to my daughter
Jolie about today because she's in an
experience today where I thought well
gosh she's not being very positive I'm
going to talk about positive thinking
cuz she came in to see me and she's
feeling really sad she's feeling really
damn feeling really frustrated and her
problem is
her problem is she tried out and won the
right to be amongst three girls who
dance in the electric light parade at
Disneyland that was about three or four
months ago she has been going there
after school every day driving from San
Diego up to Anaheim burning herself into
the ground getting up and going to
school to be a straight-a student still
I'm trying to visit with her family and
her boyfriend and she found herself
maxing out nothing about her problem a
problem is that she gets to be at
Disneyland and fulfill a childhood
fantasy a problem is that she had loves
her family and wants to be with them as
well her problem is she loves to be at
school and really do that her problem is
she has so much abundance that she has
to figure out how to get on one day and
she can't do it she's physically burning
out that's her problem you know what she
says gosh I want to be home I want to be
with you guys and all these things I
want I don't want to miss out on all
this great time we have together I want
to be with you guys I said behind look
what you're doing she goes yeah well I
don't want to miss out on Disneyland
either I don't want to miss out on my
career and what I'm doing what's going
on what's the problem the problem is
she's finding out what's negative in
both situations she's focusing on what
she doesn't have instead of what she
does have now I could be negative about
that and say gosh be more positive but
you know what reality I realized being
negative in this situation may not be
bad what do I mean I don't mean being
negative I mean being intelligent
I mean being critical in your thinking
seeing what you don't have is sometimes
useful to this is what I promised you
and
the power of negative thinking here's
how negative things can be useful I sat
down with her and I said honey I said
let's look at the advantages and
disadvantages of bulb let's not just be
positive let's get it the whole thing is
positive let's know that no matter what
you choose you've won
you have what most people dream about
but for a moment let's be a little bit
critical what do you love about
Disneyland what's great about it what is
it giving you and let's ask the question
that maybe we don't ask three times
we're just being purely positive what
isn't it giving you what are you afraid
about what are you missing by being
there what's great about being at home
or what's great about those things
what's not great about that be honest if
you were there what might happen that's
not good what might you miss out on and
you know what by getting her to use both
positive and negative thinking or to be
more accurate positive thinking and some
critical thinking looking at what isn't
there for the moment what she is missing
out on and allowing that pain and
motivator she was able to clarify what's
most important in her life and what's
the best way to do that and she came up
with a plan that totally empowered her
after a couple hours of conversation and
fun she looks better than she has in
about six months because she's finally
resolved with most important and
sometimes just being positive keeping a
stiff upper lip isn't enough sometimes
you got to stop and say I am positive
and on approaches from a positive way
I'm going to stay in a positive state
but I ask some questions some people may
think of as negative which is what isn't
working because if you're not willing
look at what isn't working you can get
yourself in trouble so when I say number
three is develop the habit of noticing
something you can appreciate out of the
situation even something that seems to
be negative what I mean by that is find
out what's working but also appreciate
what isn't working
appreciated enough that maybe it creates
enough pain for you don't want to make a
change hey being purely positive all the
time is not the ultimate solution being
clearly positive ninety-eight percent of
the time to me is the solution
remember our steps number one you're
going to focus on how it really is and
that's what we did today Joe and I sat
down and said what Fiat really is not to
not just be positive let's stop for a
second how is it really what's good what
isn't good
what's great what isn't great in this
context everything is great but
comparatively what's great what's not
both situations now how do you really
want it and you decide to actually want
it now what are we going
to make that happen you gotta take
actions have changed their life
probably will affect the direction of
her life maybe even her career and she
feels joyous and excited because she
went through the steps that's the
balance between positive negative
thinking but one thing you got to
remember you can spend most of your time
being positive once you see how it is
that's it
decide what you want and make it happen
don't keep going back and saying oh yeah
but it's not working
see balance doesn't mean you spend 50%
of your time positive 50% is down
negative remember balance on a human
scale is a little different negative
experiences are dense and it doesn't
take a lot of those focuses of negative
to weigh a lot in your life make sure
your focus is primarily positive but at
times at special times that you
designate you're going to say hey what
isn't working and allow that pain to
drive you to do something that's very
positive that'll change your life
here's key number 4 decide not to be
perfect say what I said decide not to be
perfect one way to make sure you're
negative is always trying to be perfect
you know what you're always going to
notice you're not because you're this
thing called a human being when I talk
to my daughter Joanne this girl works so
hard to be perfect everybody seems the
lever Jesus straight-a students you want
to be the very best at schools you want
to be the very best at homes you want to
be the very best Disney chose to be the
best at everything and I'm trying to be
the best constantly in the past she
always noticed what wasn't perfect and
that created pain so you can't do that
you're gonna screw up you're gonna be
negative things are going to happen
where you don't follow through on what
you know you're going to make poor
decisions you're going to say things you
shouldn't say do things you shouldn't do
mess up like you shouldn't mess up but
you know what when that happens instead
of being negative and beating yourself
up in sand boy here's another example
means sabotaging myself decide what you
do want and say you know I'm not perfect
but I am good and what makes me good
what makes me great what can make me
excellent as soon as I notice I'm not on
track I correct it and I get better your
goal each day is to get better not to be
perfect and that's all anyone can ask of
you if every day you really try and
contribute more be more and do more than
you were slightly the day before that
all anybody can ask and if you know
you're going to screw up and you don't
make it a catastrophe it's easier to
bounce right back up see the only way
you fail is if you quit but if you learn
something and you expand from it and you
make some new decision
enhance your life and the people you
care about then there is no failure
don't try to be perfect because you'll
never is the green there's a vinyl one
tee number five decide to develop the
habit of using the f-word space make
sure that you're in the position of
utilizing the tool that really positive
thinking is about positive thinking I've
said it over and over again really is
just a power to believe and as you
believe those are done unto you as you
believe so it's created you need to make
certain that you create that certainty
inside yourself and you know what you
and I both know there going to be times
when it looks grim and the only power
you really have is that power to have
faith to step forth and say I'm going to
put myself on the line I'm gonna have
the courage to overcome my fears and to
take action even though it may not work
out even though I may put out my love
and it may not be reciprocated I'm still
gonna put myself on the line because if
I don't that's the only way I can fail
see without faith nothing exists and
remember one more thing no matter how
bad it seems this dual pass that you've
made it this far you've been through
tough times times you didn't think you
could pull it off and you've made it if
you've made it through all the
challenges of your past and your life
still works you still seem to be
somewhat happy you're still standing as
they say and gosh darn it you're
successful and you can make it through
this too it's the thing that will pull
you through faith is still the power
it's your ultimate power
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