-Thanks to newly developed technology,
we here at "Late Night" now have the ability to record
the tiny voice that is inside Donald Trump's head.
And you might be surprised to know that,
like everyone's inner voice -- and we all have them --
Donald Trump's is filled with paralyzing fear and self-doubt.
So here it is, the tiny voice
in the back of Donald Trump's head.
♪♪
-Hey, Donald. It's the tiny voice in the back of your head.
And I'm letting you know that your greatest fear is true --
no one likes or respects you.
The two world leaders you're standing between
are embarrassed to be on stage with you right now.
As soon as this is over,
they're going to go to dinner and talk about you.
They're going to talk about how weird it is
that a 70-year-old man can't stand still
and always has to swing his body around
like a first-grader who has to pee.
And then they'll probably talk about a bunch of stuff
you don't understand, like politics
and countries and sanity.
And they're not going to invite you to dinner.
You know what you're going to do for dinner?
You're going to eat a cheeseburger in bed.
Sad!
-In my capacity as...
-Hey, Donald.
It's me, the tiny voice in the back of your head.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Because I'm thinking that Mike Pence
looks a lot more like a president than you do.
I mean, look at him.
He's killing it right now, speaking in complete sentences,
turning the page each time he finishes a page,
not making insane gestures.
He looks like a real president.
And look at you.
You look like a guy who won a contest
to stand next to a president.
I mean, he's a complete freak and all,
but at least he can fake being normal.
How does it feel to be weirder than Mike Pence?
-Kind Father in heaven --
-Hey, Donald.
It's the tiny voice in the back of your head,
and I'm going to say the prayer you wish you could say
right now.
Dear Lord, please let me handle this elaborate charade
that I'm trapped in.
Please let me open my eyes and be transported
back to when I was running casinos and making cameos
in "Home Alone,"
back to a time when I was disliked but still sort of
a beloved kind of a freak.
But if that can't happen, Lord, can you please at least
transform this glass of water in front of me into
a 30-liter bottle of Diet Coke and a bucket of chicken nuggets?
Because, honestly, Lord, that is all I really want right now.
Please, Lord, make everyone disappear
and put chicken nuggets in front of me.
I'm going to open my eyes, Lord.
I'm going to open my eyes, and please let that be the case.
Oh, God damn it.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
-It's an amazing -- It's an amazing technology.
For more infomation >> Chicago Fire - Here with You (Episode Highlight) - Duration: 2:27. 
For more infomation >> Byron Morton's Friday Weather Forecast - Duration: 0:57. 
For more infomation >> Shakira - Trap (Official Video) ft. Maluma - Duration: 3:22. 
For more infomation >> 2 suspected mumps cases at Iowa school district - Duration: 0:30. 
For more infomation >> 인후염을 위한 천연 치료법|HYA TV - Duration: 9:47. 
For more infomation >> Racist chants rain down on Iowa high school basketball team - Duration: 0:28. 
For more infomation >> El público abuchea a Donald Trump en Davos (SUBTITULADO) - Duration: 0:36. 
For more infomation >> Top 10 Worst Premier League January Transfers Ever! - Duration: 10:47. 
For more infomation >> THREE WAYS TO CREATE AN EMPOWERING OUTFIT | How to style bright colours | Editorial by Zalando - Duration: 0:42. 
For more infomation >> JUST GO-BEFORE 14: Packing & The Matching Game - Duration: 5:50. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét