the strongest force in the human
personality is the need to remain
consistent with how we define ourselves
I'm gonna say that again the strongest
force in the human personality is the
need to remain consistent with how we
define ourselves what does that mean we
live in a world of so much uncertainty
now because change happens how often
constantly men's roles women's roles
jobs environments businesses bam bam bam
it's all changing so we have a need as
human beings for certainty we're not
certain about relationships businesses
time we're not certain that a lot but
one thing at least were certain about us
I know who I am if you don't know that
you freak out you have what's called an
identity crisis we can't make any
decisions you're freaking out so we all
define ourselves subconsciously so some
people see themselves as being
extraordinary conservative how they're
gonna do something crazy they're gonna
know hey hey I'm not that kind of person
what kind of person I don't know but I'm
not that kind of person then they're
true if you think you're outrageous you
move differently you talk to me you do
things differently there's no one right
or wrong but most of us have trapped
ourselves in an old identity we've never
updated who we are today and so you go
learn something a skill a talent or
ability but your identity is this is Who
I am and so you'd never far surpass it
many years ago I was asked a very
interesting question somebody asked me a
question they raised their hand the
seminar said Tony can you change people
that don't want to change of course you
can change people don't want to change
all you need is the right kind of if you
have an up leverage where change becomes
an absolute now for some people leverage
is not even the threat of their own life
some people rather die than have you
tell them what to do and so that's not
the leverage the leverage for them might
be something for their children leverage
of them might be spiritual growth all of
us have a leverage point if you find the
leverage not the leverage you make
someone do it the leverage that will
make them make themself do it
we all have someplace that will get us
to fall through now if you get enough
leverage and if you interrupt the
pattern enough how many of you ever had
a pattern when you're a kid and you had
like some obnoxious uncle or something
and you were trying to be upset and they
come like rub your knee on the head or
some ish make you crazy and you couldn't
stay upset because they kept doing this
to you how many other selves and say ah
if you have enough leverage and you
break someone's pattern enough times a
new pattern will show up if you're
conscious you can create the new pattern
so the answer is yes now then the
question would be Tony if all it takes
is leverage then why don't most people
change and I had a lot of answers for
that but that night I'm a night person
that night I'm wired up after a seminar
it's like two o'clock in the morning it
was December and so I flip on the
television in the back for some white
noise looking for CNN and I come across
the old Christmas classic this couch
Christmas Carol right a Dickens classic
and I see it in black and white and I
start watching the movie and remembering
her for being a kid and as I'm watching
this thing I see this man named Scrooge
who clearly doesn't want to change in
fact he's certain he doesn't need to
change because what's happened is his
life went through a lot of pain and when
he got pain he looked for the source of
that pain and he said it was being close
to people so we decided his people
equals pain remember the red squares we
talked about so now he wants to avoid
people and
mean to people now he's also very
wealthy financially he makes up this
belief because I mean and tough with
people I'm rich the truth is he's
financially rich if you watch the movie
you read the story when everyone else is
gone who's still working he is he's
hard-working he's thrifty smart he's
intelligent but he thinks he's rich cuz
he's mean so he doesn't want to live as
being rich he doesn't want to lose not
being hurt so he has a belief be mean to
people and everything works out even
though he's miserable can we have
beliefs that make no sense and yet still
believe him yes or no sure if we just
get wired so I'm watching this guy now
the only way people change is if they
associate either enough what pain so
they have to change or they associate
changing will equal enough what and
ideally if you get both you'll change if
you get every moment I do this the pains
getting more and more tense there's a
point where you must change and if you
get if I change again on this pleasure
you're gonna want to change how many
follow but what equals pain and what
equals pleasure is what you associate in
your nervous system so what happens is
the only way you create change is
changing what you link pain and what you
link pleasure to in your nervous system
not just in your head and your duck
that's what controls you lots of times
in your head you know what you should do
but your gut takes over your fear or
your greed or your desire or you comfort
or whatever who knows what I'm talking
about here say i watch this how many of
you used to have a favorite dessert or a
food or a form of alcohol that you
really really really loved and then one
night you had an experience like never
before where something happens where
this food of this drink of this alcohol
that you love so much it went down but
it kept coming back up at a level of
intensity and with enough aroma and pain
an association
that to this day it takes little
willpower just to think of that alcohol
or think of the smell of that food or
look at it makes you appalled makes you
repelled who's good who's had an
experience like this in your life say I
tell me what that change was was that a
change in willpower no all that happened
is your brain changed what it used to
link pleasure to and now link pain to
when you link enough pain it takes the
willpower you're gonna void the problem
is so are you linking paying the things
you need like exercise right or pain
what you need like a relationship right
and it's the wrong Association but it's
going to control your life your job is
to change what you link pain and
pleasure to so that night what was
pleasure became pain and now takes in
the willpower you just avoid it so we
call that changing what you associate
the things in your nervous system or for
short a neural associative change in
other words changing in your neuro your
nervous system what you associate pain
and pleasure do so by the way in this
Christmas Carol story
does this man Scrooge change his life
yes or no he didn't want to change does
he change his life a little or
completely and by the way how fast
heartbeat one evening how does it happen
three your associative conditioning
specialist show up in his house right
three ghosts show up and what do they do
they give him the link a massive
unbearable amount of what to all the
things he did in the past around people
then they go to everything he has in the
present pain and everything in the
future pain to there's so much there was
no word escape here's the other reason
why people don't change because right
now my relationships in pain but it was
good in the past so you escape having a
change by remembering a good time or I
might be coughing and having these
problems with cigarettes right now but
you know what George Burns lived to be
102 he smoked cigars by the way and he's
1 out of 10 billion people that bought
that off
but let's not confuse ourselves with
ratios so you make up what the future is
if your present is painful you can
escape to the past and get out of the
pressure to change how many followers
say I or you can escape to a future
because no one knows what it is for sure
and you can make it up but if your brain
links it's been painful in the what past
in the S key even worse and uh they'll
change like that who here has ever
stayed in a relationship that you knew
was not right for you you it wasn't
right for you it wasn't right for them
who has ever stayed a relationship way
too long who's done this before raise
your hand say ah it wasn't good for you
wasn't good for them yet you stayed why
why because even though it's painful in
the present what you do you said it'll
get better over there in the future
why'd you finally changed who here
finally changed that say I how'd you do
it your brain wet it's painful now it
was painful in the past see me worse in
the future that's it that's what I call
a Dickens pattern when you lock in pain
in all those places there's no place to
escape so you change it's like if you
put a wall here awhile here the wall
here and we close them in on you
amazingly you'll move forward that's
what we're talking about giving yourself
leverage on yourself that way not having
someone else do to you you do it to
yourself that's when you got the power
again I'm gonna get it say ah
this could be the greatest time you ever
live if you control what you focus on if
you find a more empowering meaning and
if you decide to model the actions of
those who succeeded before you it can be
the best financial time the best
emotional time that a spiritual time of
your life but you better take control of
your state and if you think you're gonna
do it just by today you're wrong you're
gonna need to get yourself some rituals
right now every one of you this room is
controlled by your rituals I don't just
mean this one I mean every morning you
get up I know your body I can look at
your body right now and I can guess your
rituals some of you your rituals to work
out five times a week I can see it
clearly four to six times a week
it's obvious because you couldn't look
like that if you didn't do that some
form of workout I don't care it's
walking lifting whatever somebody it's
obviously lifting weights as far you can
see by the band's muscles I know I know
what his rituals are because your life
comes from your rituals but you don't
about the ritual you're kidding yourself
how many degrees me on this rage against
AI and there are rituals to put you in
state no rituals to take you out of
state you have rituals in your
relationship you have rituals with your
body you have rituals run your finances
and the rituals that worked in the
reaping time of fall in the markets and
in business and a real estate those
rituals won't work them if you do the
right thing at the wrong time you get
pain I'll say that again if you do the
right you go but okay I'm doing the
right thing but I'm not being rewarded
if you do the right thing at the wrong
time you don't get rewarded you get paid
so you better do the right thing at the
right time and to do that you better
know what season you're in to do that
you better learn how to change your
state how to take control of your own
conditioning that's what I live for
does this make sense to you yes or no
come on guys yes or no so now it's time
to train yourself to do that I'll show
you how fast it can change try this just
for a second I want to show you what you
can do with just focus try this for a
moment I'm gonna give you a test sit up
in your chair with some energy
make sure buddy next using strong state
if we're otherwise adjust their state
come on change your physiology what am I
gonna do see if they're ticklish that
might help now do this I want to look
around this room right now and find
everything in this room that you can
find this brown as fast again with the
violet ceramic for brown look around
look around you look for Brown look for
brown look for brown okay close your
eyes I'm gonna give you a test with your
eyes closed now
shout out loud everything you saw that
was red if you see a lot more Brown
right now than red say yes open your
eyes look for red now I want you to
really look for red look for red look
for red look for red anything you'd find
it's red look for red all around you
look for red raise your hand if you feel
it more at this time and say aye
why did you find more red this time cuz
seek and you shall that's right whatever
you focus on you're gonna find it in
fact let me tell you something you'll
even find it when it's not there how
many saw burgundy called it red just so
you can have more things you count it
raise your hand say aye
come on see whatever you're looking for
you're gonna find so if you want to
change your life my friends you've got
to change your physiology and you gotta
change your focus by the way how fast
can you change that stuff how fast my
for us how fast how fast come on and a
heart beat once you reach Ange you're
conditioning that's all you got to do
ain't gonna fast you can do it a
question or two try this right now
answer this question in your mind and be
honest what in your life today if you
wanted to be could you feel proud about
right now if you wanted to feel proud if
you do like I shouldn't be proud if you
want to feel proud
what could you be proud of in your life
today your children your health your
body is there a problem you faced and
instead of running from it you finally
stepped up and handled it could you feel
proud of in your life too that if you
wanted to feel proud how many could pick
us up
and when you think about this thing
you're proud of what about that makes
you feel proud what do you focus on that
makes you feel proud how do you breathe
when you really start to feel proud
that's what kind of look on your faces
starts to happen when you let yourself
feel proud yeah how's it feel
think of another area life think of any
of your life that you're grateful for or
I'm not grateful if you wanted to be
grateful what's an area you could feel
grateful for me I think you feel
grateful for if you really wanted to
feel great
I'm a can think of something you can
feel grateful for misters your hands and
what about bad are you grateful for what
do you focus on that makes you feel
grateful how does it feel when you're
really truly feeling filled with
gratitude here's one if you wanted to be
excited about your life right now and
you're willing to be excited you want a
buck everybody else's trend what could
you feel excited about in your life if
you wanted to feel excited what could
you get excited about if you really
focused on it and you really took it in
and you weren't in a negative place what
could you get excited about if you
wanted to be excited in your life what
could you get excited about
I believe you can think of something you
feel excited about right now right yeah
miss use your head ci when you're really
excited about it what about that excites
you or when you're really excited how do
you feel how do you speak what's your
life like by the way when you're excited
does it tend to touch other people yes
or no
absolutely by the way do people have a
tendency but who feels different right
now they're just even a couple moments
ago raise your hands say aye
why because focus is controlled by
questions if you ask a different
question continuously that once
continuously you will get a different
answer if you ask a lousy question you
get a lousy a certain a lousy state
somebody said why does this always
happen to me it doesn't always happen to
you but the brains like a computer
asking a question you don't have to come
up with an answer because you deserve it
you idiot someone will say how come I
can never lose weight you can't lose
weight but if you keep saying how come I
can ever lose weight that means gotta
come an answer goes you're a pig lousy
questions create what lousy answers ask
a better question get a better answer
now here's what I want you to get I want
you to get that you can change your
stain how fast guys how fast how fast
and if you get the habit of doing it you
have a different life
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