It's very easy to blame an industry and say,
"Oh, you know, these fallen people,
ye gire huye log"
"You sleep with me and I'll make you a star"
But is that how it works?
It's just not enough to create something beautiful.
I want people to know what beautiful tastes like.
No sex, no drugs, no alcohol.
One, father is to come for interview
In my case, I would say, behind every successful
woman, is a tribe of other successful women,
who have her back.
Historically, we've not been kind to whistleblowers.
Hey guys, I'm Malini, and I'm really excited to share
another episode of #TheGirlTribe with you.
More power to all the girls out there, who are
a part of MissMalini's Girl Tribe.
Hello, my tribe! And I'm super excited today because
I have been wanting this supernova to be on this show
forever. Richa, you know I love you so much.
I've been wanting to talk to people about this but
I'm always afraid to talk to women in the industry,
that there is this dark underbelly in the Bollywood
industry. I want to know from you,
what is it from what you know and what you've heard
or maybe experienced that people are expecting the
actresses to do?
The first thing we should understand because this is
kind of a heavy discussion is that
the industry is not insulated from society
The roles, the problems that we have in society
are the same ones that we face in the industry,
whether it's classism or elitism or sexism.
Imagine that in a slightly more refined or not scenario
inside the film industry, and which is why...
I think the right word to use would be impunity
because they think that they can get away with it.
But why are they getting away with it?
Because this is, see... Forget that I'm a star
and I'm an actor, I have this privilege of being in the
industry and having my voice heard.
If we remove all that for a second and think of me
as a normal girl, living in India...
The things that one has to deal with
whether you're taking public transport or
whether you're up for a promotion,
the scenario is very similar.
And when you open the newspaper and you realise that
okay, it's very strange but in one part of the country that
some people took out a procession in favour of
protecting a rapist or you know, you turn over the next
page and say, "Oh wow, this MLA was accused of rape",
or you turn over the page again and
"Oh, this cop was accused of rape!"
And then, you turn another page and you read that
a rape victim wasn't allowed into a restaurant,
you know, in Kolkatta.
So, these things being reported from various parts
of the country, make such a strong impact of the mind
of somebody who has been a victim, that they will not
dare to come out and say, speak their truth.
Because historically, we've not been
kind to whistleblowers.
That's true
You know, they're the ones that die or get maligned,
get photoshopped and say, "Oh she's a prostitute",
whatever, whatever.
And then her life is over basically.
Her life is over.
And, everybody would ask me about this.
Why is Bollywood silent, why is Bollywood silent?
I said, "Arrey!"
First of all, it's not like it's only happening in the film
industry. This is something that is a problem in
hospitality, in medicine, in education, in bureaucracy.
It's very easy to blame and industry and say,
"Oh, these fallen people. Ye gire huye log,
ye bazaaroo".
They, you know, you realise this when you're trying to
rent an apartment in Bombay.
Really?
Yeah.
Try renting an apartment in Bombay as a single woman,
they'll be like, "no sex, no drugs, no alcohol,
father has to come for interview."
You know, that kind of thing and it's just...
So then you see the whole societal system is,
what do we call rape in Hindi?
We call it "izzat lootna".
So, as long as we have that baggage of the woman
That's so interesting!
I never thought about it that way, like you're taking away
so her, she's lost something as opposed to
you've done something to her.
As opposed to the man who lost control or
acted like an animal or we should deal with them
and they should be the one who should be defamed.
I think one of the things you said was really interesting
when I was telling you earlier.
Tell me if I'm wrong, that it happens so much,
it's almost like it's part of the process
like an interview process.
You sleep with me and I'll make you a star.
But is that how it works?
Like these promises, do they actually...
So, this is something that women out there or men,
young men, who want to get into the
business must know.
I have only got work basis auditions
or then, if somebody's seen a film of mine,
I've been cast again.
It is like taking the stairs as opposed to
taking the elevator.
But, but it's possible.
Have you, have you come across that and then
like someone's been, have they very blatantly
said, "Okay, sleep with me".
Oh yeah, a couple of times and I felt like they were really
low-rung idiotic morons.
Although, I was just starting out and it would've
made my life a lot easier.
That's not the path that I will ever choose because
I feel like it's...
This is an art form.
So, there has to be some amount of purity in it.
I mean, if you speak to any of my original
my first few directors that I worked with,
they'll tell you that I had like, I was constantly like
a deer in headlights, I didn't know what the
hell was happening.
And it's happened to me on several occasions
that somebody even propositioned to me
and I didn't get it.
They were "Oh, why don't you come for dinner?"
I was like "Oh, thank you so much sir. I just ate.
It was a brilliant meal. I had paneer and chapathi, and,
you know?
You have to do that.
Yeah. And you're naïve and...
When you're twenty one and twenty two,
and you're confused.
But... so this is courage that I've had to work on slowly
because I feel like even if it's a front, I don't care if I'm
intimidating someone for a little while as long as
I'm safe.
I will tell you of bunches of women who've had
to sleep or have chosen to sleep with their producer
or director to get ahead, and then landed up with
no work, no money, no fame, and only shit tons of
guilt and a feeling of being used.
Whoever is even thinking of it, it's not sustainable.
And there's no end to it.
And I guess after a point, if that's what
your career is based on,
let's be honest, at some point, somebody is going to say
"Well, now I don't really want to sleep with her anymore".
Yeah, and...
She has nothing on merit, so...
Exactly. She has nothing on merit and also,
to think the other way, if somebody is really going
to cast you just because you're ready to
sleep with them, what kind of film are
are they going to put you in?
That's true.
It's not going to be like a very empowering movie.
Not empowering, not respectful to you.
And you see it, it's just a wasted life.
I don't know if you've seen, there's this like
movie that's terrible.
It's called 'The Room', which is like iconically known for
being the worst movie ever.
The...
And now, they've got the 'Disaster Artists' that
they've made on it.
Internationally, they have this closed set, you know,
that no one's going to be there when you're
doing a scene like that, and...
Have you been in a situation?
I know in 'Masaan' you had sort of a...
Yeah. It's always a closed set.
Is it a closed set? Is it uncomfortable?
Are there people staring or?
It's not fun.
Yeah
Sex scenes are really not fun.
Anybody who thinks they'll be fun, they've
probably become actors to get action,
which also happens.
Happens? Really?
Yeah, which is weird.
It's not fun ya, but it's also very technical.
It's like, "Oh, if you kiss him to this side or we don't
see your lip.
Oh, there's a shadow on your left eye, can you move?"
So, you're like...
And then there's a daada holding a reflector below
and he's looking away. He's like...
"Ho gaya? Theek hai. Idhar se cut, BB daal".
So, you know, it's just so technical and as a matter
of fact, at that point of time, it stops being
anything but...
Just work
Just work
Yeah
But wherever I have worked, I've seen that
it has been a closed set.
Oh, that's... I'm glad to know.
And the directors always appreciate that
Yeah, I think so
And the other thing that always, you know,
I hear very often and...
I've seen behind the scenes also like for instance,
I've gone to IIFA and I've seen behind the scenes
and you know, the actors are working together
and they're getting along and they're being friends
but there's this whole thing and I guess it's true
some times that...
All actresses who are peers hate each other.
I've had some bitchy, backstabbing scenarios
Like, what happened?
Lack of security in your own craft that
"Oh, she'll get the good reviews",
or you know what I'm saying?
So, I've had that on occasion but I think it's just the
culture that has perpetuated that
we use terms like shelf life for an actress
Yeah
So, that's what becomes a problem
They never say that about actors somehow, right?
You don't say that and then people come and come up
with like reasons for this.
They say, "Oh, you know, there's a product life cycle,
there's a shelf life.
I'm like, yeah, but I'm not ketchup, you know?
And they restrict your options significantly.
That's the thing.
That's what I feel that psychologically,
it's even engrained in us, which is why
we're like "Oh"...
Every time I meet a woman, she's like
"Oh, I'm getting so old", whether she's
turning twenty five or forty five.
Yeah
You know, she's like "Oh, I'm getting so old"
and what's wrong with getting old?
I'm like, I'm forty one and I feel my most self today
I feel like who I was meant to be,
I'm less insecure about myself.
See, this is the thing.
When a woman's worth is tied into her
reproductive cycle, that's the problem.
You were telling me earlier as well...
What is March Madness? You had started something
and people were posting
You have to tell me what that was about
I feel like people just have this
'holier than thou' attitude when it comes to
actors and celebrities,
whether it's about expressing your political opinion...
If you do that, they're like,
"Oh, just shut up. Put a selfie"
or "Send me nude photo".
So, I would write something like,
"Oh, you know, why don't you smile?
Is it because your teeth are crooked and yellow?
"Why do you crop your photos at the forehead?
Is it because you have a receding hairline?
or "Oh, $#@*, so much belly fat
or you know...
It's just because...
To people who've said something
nasty to me or sometimes even to my friends like,
I had a friend. She's a singer. She was on a holiday,
took a picture in a bikini and they said,
"Oh, hide that cellulite".
Just such negative, nasty photos...
So, the next day of course, she is being herself
and took another glorious picture in a bikini doing a
pirouette or something.
She was like, "Oh, this makes you angry?
Here
So, what was the response to when you posted this?
Did they say something back?
Some times, they're like "So sorry, ma'am.
We respect you. You are like sister to me.
I'm so sorry".
I was like, ye rishta mat banaiye please.
I always try to say, "Okay, don't respond,
have thick skin or be above the haters".
But now when I'm listening to you talk,
I'm like maybe there is something that needs to be said.
Yeah, and usually, if I don't have the time,
I mostly block and get on with life because it's
very time consuming.
I'm not the girl that you say,
you know, some funny things like,
"Richa Chadha chaddi utaar rahi hai".
This Chadha-chaddi joke has been happening
since I was in class three.
Like, get a, at least the humour should have worked.
Yeah, be a little funnier.
So, there. I would make an example out of those people
some times.
That's awesome.
It has been amazing talking to you as
it always is and I know that
and now you know that, which is why
I'm so excited.
I'm going to make you do one thing for me
You're going to write a pledge
Okay
Something for my Girl Tribe and then put it
on my wall of fame.
Here you go.
Does that make sense?
Read it, read it, hold it up for us.
Okay
Yeah
Reading it
Being my best self, going for the goals
and coming through without worrying
about intimidating anybody.
That's awesome.
Please pin this up on my wall of fame.
Thank you!
Lovely photo!
It is.
Ya. It's an unused photo too.
Really?
Yeah, pretty cool.
Wow, nice, good job team!
There's some pins on the wall
Thank you, guys. It was really lovely being here.
Thank you so much. You're amazing and
I know that so much of this extra footage that you
may not see on this episode is going to be
on Malini's Girl Tribe.
So make sure you go and join the group.
You have been amazing as always!
Now, it's over to you.
There are so many of you out there who are kicking ass
and I want to highlight your hustle.
And hopefully show a whole new generation of
girls that they can go out there and
achieve everything they want to.
So check out this week's girl boss, who works
so hard to make life sweeter for everyone.
Hi, I'm Vahishtha and I'm the founder of
Tier Nom Patisserie.
So I've always had an eye for art and intricate details.
I remember my grandma used to stir up the best
caramel custard in the kitchen.
Watching her work her way through it
so effortlessly really did fascinate me.
And sort of steered me into the world of the culinary
arts. I decided to study pastry science by
attending culinary school in London.
Once I returned to India,
I started a home-based cake business.
My own brand of exclusive and customizable cakes.
Thus was born Tier Nom Patisserie.
One thing I learned in this phase was that
setting up a business isn't a cakewalk.
Pun intended.
After having studied pastry science
in a typical French fashion,
adapting recipes and styles to the Indian palette
kinda was challenging.
And not only the palette, we're looking at Indian weather,
availability of ingredients.
All of what I had to learn had to be reassessed.
Once things came on track, I laid out the
marketing and social media plan for my brand
where I used Instagram as an integral medium
to showcase my pieces of work.
It's a slow but fun process.
It's very interactive, it starts off
with what my client wants.
Some pieces of artwork, material, colors
anything that's personal and special to my client.
It usually takes depending on how detailed it is
anywhere from a couple of hours to a couple of days
to put together a showpiece.
They say behind every successful man is a woman.
In my case, I would say,
behind every successful woman is a
tribe of other successful women, who have her back.
I've been incredibly fortunate to have my mum,
my aunts, be so supportive and encouraging
of the business, they've help me set it up,
and it is where it is today, because of them.
To everybody in Malini's Girl Tribe,
I just want to say that take the leap,
you never know how life will surprise you.
Being a woman is your superpower.
Use you inherent strength and subtleties
to bring your magic to the table.
Hi, I'm Vahishtha and I'm proud to be
a part of the Girl Tribe.
Vahishtha, you're the sweetest girl boss
I have ever met,
which is why you're going on
my Girl Tribe wall of fame right up here.
And that's all for today's episode of Girl Tribe.
I'm so glad to be sharing this show with all of you
And I love waking up every morning
and seeing what you're all talking about
on the Facebook group.
And I won't lie,
I love when you reply to my comments.
Dopamine.
Keeping the conversation going is so important.
So I'm gonna ask you a question.
All the mothers out there,
have you faced mom shaming?
Why is that people are always telling mothers
what they should do or shouldn't do?
So I'm starting a thread on Malini's Girl Tribe
on facebook. So go check it out.
And tell me your thoughts.
And of course, I'll see you next week
for an other episode.
Lots of love from my tribe to yours.
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