It was good you guys called us.
Marcus would've been here but he's working on a case in LA.
A client with big bucks.
We've gotta keep that money rolling in so we can pay for our big, beautiful house,
- huh, Nelson? - Yeah, whatever.
What are you doing to help us?
Well, I'm talking to a buddy of mine in the Palm Springs Police Department
and they're looking into your case.
But I wouldn't rely on them to catch your stalker.
They don't have a lot of manpower here.
You were right to bring us in.
Well, I just hope you can find out who this psycho stalker is.
He came to my book signing.
Book signing? What about me? I almost got killed in the steam room.
- And we got shot at at the Air Museum. - Oh, big whoop.
I'm the most famous. It would be more tragic if I died.
And you can thank me for hiring Detective Winters here.
- I called him too. - To help with the case.
No, to try to get in his pants while he's away from Marcus.
It's Bear Week and I'm horny. Hey.
That is never gonna happen again, Wood.
♪Where the bears are We wanna be♪
SEASON 7: EPISODE 7 WILD KINGDOM BEARS
Door was open.
Hey, fellas.
What the hell are they doing here?
Oh, I called them, right here.
Why would you do that, Todd? I thought I was working on this case.
Yeah, that's what I was afraid of.
I don't trust you to solve this case, queen.
If we want a roller-skating go-go bear, we call you.
If we want competent detective work, we call them.
And you guys are bad enough as a duo.
I can't imagine how you're gonna handle this on your own.
You and your husband couldn't find your asses
with both hands in your back pockets.
Okay, I'm offended by that. We have solved many cases.
Oh, please!
Well, how do you think we bought our house?
(overlapping shouting)
- How many cases have you guys solved? - Hey! Hey! Hey!
(whistles)
Now listen up. There's a crazed stalker out there that wants the four of you dead.
Now, there's no reason that the three of us can't team up
and nab this culprit together, am I right?
- (sighs) Yeah yeah yeah. - Good.
That's good. It's all settled then. We'll work together.
Mickey and I will go look at the security footage from the bookstore.
Chad, why don't you check out the footage from the CCBC.
- All right. - Everybody agree? - Yeah.
- Let's go. - Wait wait, what about us?
I volunteer to go to CCBC with Detective Winters.
Y'all just go about your business. Be careful but keep your eyes open.
Eye-eye, Captain.
Oh God.
PALM SPRINGS ZOO
BEARS GORILLA ADVENTURE
Ah! I am so happy we're finally doing some sightseeing
in glorious Palm Springs.
I'm enjoying it here at the zoo,
but that Gorilla Adventure was kind of creepy.
- Oh, yeah. - Right? I mean, that ape was like rapey.
He was all masturbating on the other side of the cage
and when he shot, I think he got some on my foot!
This place is getting my creative juices flowing.
Why don't we base our next porn extravaganza in a zoo?
(gasps) I love that. Right?
I could play the hot zookeeper
and then I could just, you know, hump a bunch of cubs
in an animal enclosure.
Oh, yeah, yeah! And we could call it, like, "Animal Instinct"
or "Caged Heat".
- Yes! - Or better yet,
"Hippo-Bottom-Us".
- Oh, that's brilliant! - Genius! Oh, my God!
- It's so good. - Whatever we're doing here is working.
- All right, we need to keep doing this. - It's... we are seriously a good team.
CAUTION! GORILLA ADVENTURE!
All right, um, I think we've seen everything but the alligators.
Oh, could we skip that?
I don't like anything with a mouth so wide it can swallow me whole.
I cast the star of my last movie for that very reason.
(man screams)
- Oh, look! Wood? - What?
Just stay still. Don't... Don't look behind you.
- What is it? - Don't move.
- Can I look? Can I look? - Don't move. No, don't breathe.
- Oh, I can feel something on my arm. - Play dead.
- What is it? What is it? - Play dead.
Play dead.
- Okay. - Play dead.
- Oh my God! It's got me! - Okay, that didn't work.
- Go get the zookeeper! - Wood!
Oh my God! It's the rapey ape!
- Be tough! Be tough! - It's the rapey ape!
It's rape...! It's... Oh my God! It's going to...!
Just submit! Just submit, honey!
Oh my God, it's gonna kill me!
- Oh! - Oh my God!
- It's not that bad, actually? - Sebastian, are you getting this?
Some of it's not horrible!
♪Where the bears are We wanna be♪
♪Where the bears are Where the bears are♪
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