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The 12th step in this process of resolving conflict is very simple.
It's be gentle. Yes! Be gentle.
Now we talked about speaking the truth in kindness
But I want you to think about being gentle.
And when I say gentle I want you to think of a nursing mother, who tenderly is caring for her child.
Get that image in your mind.
Think of that as gentleness. I also want you to think of the image of a wild stallion.
Whose will has been broken but whose spirit is very much alive.
That's really the concept of gentleness.
It's called in in the Greek language
It's translated as meekness; to be meek. Meekness isn't weakness.
Gentleness isn't weakness. Gentleness means strength under control.
And with a wild stallion, the only way a wild stallion's effective --
( As far as being a workhorse or a riding horse )
is when it's will is broken. NOT it's spirit. It's WILL.
And so you want to have an alive dynamic strong spirit.
You want to be a leader. You want to be courageous.
You want to be brave. You want to be powerful, you ought to be that.
But that's having an alive spirit but you want your will to be submitted
( in this case ) to these principles for resolving conflict.
You don't just lean into your muscle memory of this is a way I've done it before
This is the way it was done in my family. This is the way we normally do it at work.
No! Let the way you deal with conflict be principle-centered.
These 12 principles will give you guidelines that are tried and true.
They're used all around the world. I have taught this all around the world.
This is consistent with the best literature on resolving conflict overall
Including many faith-based pieces of literature starting with the Bible
For me these are basically consistent principles, absolute core skills you must master
To resolve conflict the right way.
To deal with difficult people appropriately.
And this one is - Be GENTLE!
So think of yourself as this wild stallion whose spirit is very much alive
but whose will is submitted to the absolutes of these principles.
And if you will, then respond in light of these principles instead of reacting emotionally.
Or simply out of bad habits you've learned over time.
You'll start to see relationships come together in greater intimacy and openness
and honesty and greater power over all.
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