the idea that failure is your tool
failure is the evolution towards being a
stronger version of yourself you've got
to fail embrace failure love failure
fail as many times as you possibly can
so that you can get one step closer to
having that thing happening
[Music]
it's no poetic saying that you
become what you think about and that the
world is your mirror
we are literally creating our world to
the harbour
in how our body responds to the basin
things your body your energy
[Music]
oh I don't feel so good today
get your lazy sick ass about a bed this
requires a warrior mindset I think
that's a part of what's lacking it's
interesting you know the war
these questions more I meet you guys and
more more I'm realizing we ain't got
enough warriors in the
my key party or victim lovers and
clever magicians addicted
oh I love this
I'm passionate about this
and it's like business just I keep
falling in love with different
never get anything done and the clever
the clever magician is the cynic
at a distance well I know
it
but you know what
interested in your dark
wizarding about
the patient about stuff
and I'm keeping it
the emotion
devote yourself to something bigger be
decisive about what you're gonna do say
I'm gonna do it and that's it and then
be disciplined about getting it done
every single day whether you be like it
or not some decisions of major decisions
and also there are a lot of small
decisions that we don't make that they
tax our minds they drain our energy they
create a lot of anxiety and nervousness
and mental torment because we don't take
care of it we decide not to decide which
is a decision deciding to decide to act
it's a major major challenge for all of
us at different points in different
areas of our lives and there are things
that happen to us along the way
experiences that we have that prevent us
from working through the mental block of
acting of doing those things that we
know we ought to do and so what I want
you to think about is what is there that
you know you need to do that you want to
do this but for some reason or another
you've been holding back for some reason
or another you just have not been able
to gather your nerves or be able to work
through the procrastinating or putting
it off or justifying or blaming some
reason or another you just haven't done
it and you know you ought to do this you
really want to do this but you don't
know why you haven't done it anybody
know what I'm talking about Rachel Ann
please okay then I've got comfort here
this evening I'm not talking to myself
now first of all what we know that this
is not easy because in order to begin to
reinvent your life you've got to make a
conscious deliberate determined effort
that you really got to put all of
yourself into it it's very challenging
to act to do those things that times
when you're looking at if you say I know
I need to do this but I don't feel like
it I don't want to do it I know I need
to do it yet leave me alone no I don't
want to do it so what do we do one of
those things that that cause us to do
like that I think that among the things
that prevent us from acting is the fear
of failure and if you've already failed
you don't want to fail again the pain of
that the disappointment the fear of loss
is another thing because many times when
we do those things that we know we need
to do we feel that we might lose
somebody that we love very much in care
about we don't want to hurt anybody
many of us don't act because we want
other people's approval we want
everybody to like us and to accept us
and that's not possible
many of us don't do the things that we
want to do and don't act because of lack
of self-confidence
we don't believe enough in ourselves I
have a friend who's been working on a
job where she's miserable talented want
to go to another place that she can do
what she wants to do and make the kind
of money that she would like to make and
had had some offers but because of her
fear and her lack of self-confidence of
things might not work out she won't take
a chance on herself so there she is
spending eight hours a day five days a
week and she's miserable she hates to go
to work they're not paying what she's
worth she knows it but yet and still she
won't do that which she knows she must
do and it's wearing out that a lot of
people that their jobs are making them
sick because they won't act you check
out the absenteeism and the people that
are depressed you see them coming to
work angry how you doing I don't
just leave me alone it's not even 9
o'clock yet you're talking about good
morning that days you're going to work
you want to just keep drive past a job
you know you don't want to stop because
it's not in sync with who you are
but you haven't acted have another
friend it's God brilliant he's a
business consultant he helped a lot of
people get their business started and
people come to him because they know
he's knowledgeable but this guy won't
start his own business now he's very
smart he can do it everybody believes in
him except him and he's so smart he's
talked himself out of well the numbers
aren't right so there are many reasons
why we don't act there are other things
though that affect us is that not
wanting to take personal responsibility
we want somebody else to do it and we
many times we pick up our inability to
do certain things from people that we
love people that we admire we identify
with them and we live in the context of
their ideas their opinions and their
life patterns we buy into it
unconsciously my mother is a pack rat
she keeps everything she doesn't throw
anything away and I have unconsciously
picked that up now my mother never said
let me show you how to keep everything
less than just clutter things I
unconsciously picked that up many times
unconsciously we try to honor the people
we love by being like them by the same
token I realized something about myself
when I had some major decisions to make
and I found myself acting like my mother
see my mother's the kind of person that
when she has a problem with one of the
other foster children that she adopted
she won't confront them she will call me
less why don't you tell Linda to move
she's lazy she won't go to work she runs
the street all day and then she comes
home and wants to sleep all day and I
think she's doing drugs I said but mama
why don't you tell Linda that I bought
the house for you I told you when she
wanted to come home don't let a grown
person come there and take care of them
you let her in well after all she's my
child mama
then you handle that when I tell her to
leave she say mama said I can stay mama
can I said you tell her yes and then you
call me say she's still here
[Applause]
why worried me with this so mama hasn't
developed the courage to act on that
some people won't act until there's a
crises situation when Linda stop
stealing from Mama and took a Social
Security check to get some drugs
mama got some courage to say get out of
here don't ever come back but she
wouldn't do it until then and say we
don't have to wait until a crisis
situation I have a friend that had been
having a challenge with losing weight
both of us have been dealing with that
challenge and for the past 40 years he's
always seemed like weighing over 235
pounds and so he said man I just can't
lose weight I'm big-boned ik I said but
I've never seen any fat skeletons
no you need to act on your health you
can change this well you don't have to
go to your grave fat we're all digging
early grades without teeth we don't have
to do this they need to have a support
group around M&M peanuts you want a
support group on something and throw
Snickers in there too but and I could
tell you about the help we need with
that so what happened with bud though he
became ill a few weeks ago see but in
the last few weeks has lost more weight
than he's ever lost even when we were
competing with each other
betting a lot of money but what happened
was bud became diabetic
he went into an insulin shock he didn't
know that he was diabetic his blood
sugar became high and the doctor said to
him you are diabetic you're gonna have
to have insulin shots every day you're
gonna have to change your diet and let
me tell you what's going to happen if
you don't do what we tell you to do
number one there's a possibility that
you can become an amputee number two you
can go blind three you can become
impotent buts they help me
[Laughter]
let go guys win with Pawan when Paul
broke out of jail Agassi tell me what I
must do to be saved what were to be seen
I said but you wanted one of my peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches no I said
but I can't believe you eating
vegetables but you're exercising he said
that's right a jogger did please do now
he had the ability to do it before but
there's some people it takes that kind
of crises to bring them into reality in
order for them to act in their own best
interest some people have to hit rock
bottom in order to rise I don't know why
you want to begin to look out on your
life and what you want for you and I
think that when we begin to focus in the
area of what does it take for us to act
I think we can say events can inspire us
to act at that particular event in his
life circumstances friend of mine he
wanted to do something and he just did
not have the motivation in the drive and
the confidence within himself but his
circumstances changed overnight through
an acquisition of the company that he
worked for he lost his job through the
inspiration of desperation he had to act
see life also of things that can inspire
us that see we don't have the courage
and that's what it takes courage it
takes guts to do that which you know you
need to do if you don't have the courage
to act life many times will move on you
and make you act
live will whip your butt so bad
you will be so miserable you will catch
so much hell you say yes I will do it
what do you want me to do take me friend
of mine say I can't stop smoking I can't
stop smoking doctor said Sam Mac Suraj
you have emphysema say I've never picked
up another cigarette and said look of
those stupid people smoking Sam you did
it for 35 years how can you talk about
people while I was different I'm trying
to help them they don't have to do the
same thing I did but be compassionate
Sam is it interesting how quickly we
forget so I'm saying that look at
something in your life it might be just
writing a letter to somebody to say
thank you it might be just to apologize
to somebody I had a confrontation and
the Penobscot building with the security
guard there he responded to me what I
perceived as a negative way and he and I
engaged in an argument I did not like
the way I handled that I avoided going
through the front door for a long time
because I didn't want to face it finally
I decided to act and I went up to him
and said I want to apologize to you for
the way in which I handled this argument
we had the other day I was wrong I hope
you accept my apology he said I do and I
said thank you very much I felt relieved
now when you decide to act it's not
always going to be like that a friend of
mine did some work for me
it was below par to say the least I knew
that this guy was capable of doing
better work I knew that he also had a
fragile ego so I was trying to think of
what is the most sensitive way in which
I can share this information with him
because I wanted him to do my work over
I was going to pay him for what he did
but I needed my work done right but I
was afraid that I would hurt his
feelings I was very very meticulous and
how I approached him and I said let me
share this with you you know I care
about you and that you are very talented
and gifted person and you and I both
know that what you have given me is not
a true reflection of your
talents and abilities and I'm saying
let's go back in the studio and do this
again and he said to me I'm gonna forget
you ever said that
I was wiped out he never spoke to me
again now when you decide to act you're
gonna have some people like that we're
no longer friends I lost sleep over that
ladies and gentlemen as I can't believe
that I remember setting up one night
looking at the phone I said I gotta call
him said no that's it don't forget that
I caught men looking we've been knowing
each other too long to allow this to
come between us he said don't call me
anymore no no and then I wanted to think
about how what can I do to make it up to
him and then something came to me les
what do you have to prove see many
things we don't do is because the fact
we want people to like us there's some
necessary losses in life when you decide
acting in your best interest you're
gonna lose some friends everybody's not
going to approve of you there's some
people that won't like you who do you
think you are you're arrogant what do
you think you can do you think you'd get
away with that you're selfish thanks I
got that
it's my life and so what I'm saying to
you is that as you begin to look out on
your life this is challenging this is
not easy acting so what are the things
that we can begin to do to harness our
will number one you've got to bring it
out and look at it you've got to take
the power out of it
you've got to expose it to the truth and
the truth is that it has no power over
you
so write down something you want to act
on but for some reason that you've been
holding back and look at it the next
thing is ask yourself the question is it
helping you to continue to put it off if
it's an asset for you to continue to
procrastinate then continue to do that
but if it's a liability for you if it's
causing you some mental and some
emotional challenges or perhaps a
financial problem look at that examine
that for what it is next step ask
yourself what's blocking you what's
preventing you from acting why don't you
have the courage to handle that why
won't you face that what are you running
away from
what kind of avoidance behavior are you
engaged in next is what is the worst
thing that can happen when you take
action so I looked at that and I said
what's the worst thing can happen when I
tell him this he can say I don't like
you and he did not what happened I
experienced that I looked at that I saw
that and guess what ladies and gentlemen
I didn't die my feelings were hurt a
little bit I lost some sleep about it
and sometimes I think about it when I
Drive past his house but I'm still here
it's uncomfortable but it's okay it
doesn't bother me anymore I've gotten
used to it now so what is the worst
thing that can happen I want you to
visualize that experience that feel the
nervousness in the discomfort and the
more you run it in your mind the less
power that it will have next is how will
you feel after taking this action
I felt a sense of personal achievement
when I face somebody that has been my
mentor for years and for years there was
something I wanted to tell him and I
didn't have the courage to tell him
because it was always I was the student
he was the teacher
it was always I looked up to him and
admired him and held him in high esteem
and I was always grateful and thankful
for the impact that he had on my life
and I loved him so much I didn't have
the courage to say to him please stop
drinking so much you're an alcoholic you
need help I didn't have the courage
because I was afraid that he might not
like me I was afraid that he might be
hurt and crushed that we would no longer
be friends I didn't want to jeopardize
what we had
I loved him a great deal and I didn't I
didn't know how this would affect our
relationship and I didn't even want him
to know that I knew that he was an
alcoholic and so I was a coward I was
spineless in the name of love I did it
to justify to myself to stop from
helping somebody that I loved from dying
I said I love him so much I just can't
tell him this I I don't even know how he
would handle it to know that I know that
he's an alcoholic and finally after
years I developed the courage to face my
teacher my mentor who has molded me who
looks at me now and wanted to do what
I'm doing now and did not do it came at
a different time and it wasn't time for
what he brought and he's living through
me and I had to face this man who's been
like a father to me
yes I got to tell you something you've
got a problem
I love you very much please stop
drinking you're killing yourself it's
not just social you do it every day you
need help and whatever I can do to
support you in that I will but please
stop and he looked at me and I had no
idea what how he was going to handle
that and first there was like I dare you
and we just looked at each other and
then I reached out to embrace him and
we've never ever embraced Man macho
never hugged I hugged him and he just
stood there with his arm straight he
couldn't raise his arms to hug me back
and he was shocked and after he got over
the initial shock when he could bring
himself to speak to maintain his
composure because he could never afford
to let me his students see him
vulnerable or admit that I was right he
said I'll be seeing you that's a yes sir
I should tell you why fight be by the
house to see they'll see y'all before I
leave when he walked away at first I was
very depressed about it I said well
maybe it wasn't my place to do this and
you know when you act you're gonna have
some second thoughts then I said no no
no I did what I felt I did it because I
feel very strongly about this and
fortunately he called me back a few
weeks later and left word with the
answering service Leslie Brown I just
want to say thank you and hung up
that was a good feeling when we look out
on our lives you ask the question what
are you going to do look at as you think
about this that you know you need to
handle what are you going to do and then
write down three strong reasons on why
you know you must take action and be
explicit and descriptive in your reasons
because your reasons have power your
reasons will drive you when you have
doubt when your faith becomes weak your
reasons will fortify your faith when you
have an inner conversation say no don't
do that
your reasons will become your rod and
your staff to comfort you to take you
through those challenging moments so
write down your reasons and what you
will find but when you decide to act
when you decide to take life on and let
me warn you it can be painful it will be
uncomfortable and that's where the
growth is when you are uncomfortable
when you're stretching out when you're
taking life by the color you're going to
get thrown to the ground again and again
and again but when you have
determination and you know that what
you're doing is right that gives you
your life it gives a special meaning and
power to you you have some power from on
aha
you will discover some things about
yourself that will begin to electrify
your personality you begin to discover
some things about you that you don't
know you've got when you put yourself in
that type of challenging situation
repeat after me please I can go into
action on anything in my life
nothing is stopping me but me no
challenge in my life
as any power over me here's something
that Howard Thurman wrote on the
decision to act he said it's a wondrous
thing that a decision to act releases
energy in the personality for days on in
a person may drift along without much
energy having no particular sense of
direction and having no will to change
then something happens to alter the
pattern it may be something very simple
and inconsequential in itself but it
stabs awake it alarms it disturbs in a
flash one gets a vivid picture oneself
and it passes the result is decision
shop definitive decision and the wake of
the decision yes even as a part of the
decision itself energy is released the
act of decision sweeps all before it and
the life of the individual may be
changed forever when you decide to make
decisions to add you begin to access
power within you that will increase your
self-esteem that will increase and
enhance your personal power but that
puts you in charge of life and life has
a whole new meaning for you
there's a sense of personal freedom
doesn't mean you're not gonna have any
struggles doesn't mean that you're not
gonna have any challenges doesn't mean
that you're not going to suffer any
defeats no no no doesn't mean bad but
what it does mean that you putting
yourself in the position to grow you
putting yourself in line with your
higher calling and your higher self
and
that's what life is about
[Music]
[Music]
will you join me this affirmation please
everybody stand please I'm standing up
to life and the challenges in my life
I'm going to use all of me all of my
courage my faith determination and any
help and support that I can give anyone
to realize their greatness together we
can shake somebody's hand on your right
and left and say you've got what it
takes
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