- [Narrator] Morgan is doing great.
And you can tell because he's yelling at
and attacking a dead guy who isn't there,
a signature move from people who are doing great.
Everyone is hitting their warning honks
and Daryl is really out here laying on
that airhorn like he's aiming for third place
in a middle school reggaeton DJ competition.
Siddiq, this show's latest fake doctor,
is getting cursed out by a veteran fake doctor
for his lack of fake doctor knowledge.
He doesn't even know how to hold
people down and murder them.
That's day one fake doctor stuff.
Go back to zombie med school, asshole.
Oh, snap, Jerry with the tennis elbow signal.
This is it, don't get scared now.
Maggie tries to negotiate with Savior hostages,
but Simon says he likes soldiers better
who don't get captured.
And hungry poor people with problems
need to figure their own shit out.
Spoken like a dude who really wants to be president.
Dwight cautions Simon that Negan would
be super pissed if he found out about this
and he might still find out about this.
Simon says it's better to beg
forgiveness than ask permission,
which works if you're talking about
your roommate's last Choco Taco,
but substantially less applicable when it comes
to killing people your boss said specifically don't kill.
Daryl commences fightin' time by shooting
at people from his moving bike in the dark.
And yee haw, partner, it is officially fightin' time.
Everybody shooting at everyone.
Even some Robin Hood bow and arrow shit.
Very cool.
Massive death all over the place,
from people we've never seen once before.
Oh, no, they got Tobin?
You're gonna be fine, dude.
Carol's here and she's gonna bake
some fresh cookies and put them right on that wound.
And Dwight saves Tara by shooting her.
How thoughtful.
Simon is ready for some proper slaughtering time.
But the Hilltop had some proper
slaughtering to do of their own.
Who knew whistling in the dark at a building full
of your armed enemies was a strategic misstep?
Rick The Wetter The Better Grimes shows up, wet as hell,
and that's how you know he's here to work.
And he almost kills one of the last doctors on Earth.
Great job, Rick.
Morgan is still doing fantastic.
No problems here,
certainly not talking to ghosts.
Rick tells Michonne the gripping yarn
about the time he tried to kill Negan, but didn't.
But he tried, but did not kill him.
Which sums up every episode of this
show for the last two years.
Wait, wasn't Daryl just saying the exact
same thing to Tara a week ago?
And now their positions have completely flipped,
each one unable to see the other's perspective
they themselves had one week ago.
If these two could just have a meeting
and figure out how they want to feel about Dwight
then stick to it, that would be great.
Sorry, Michonne, but Rick doesn't want your nasty turnips.
Nobody wants turnips, not even in the zombie apocalypse.
Michonne wants to help heal Rick's wound,
but he can't right now.
He's way too busy removing wood
from these windows with an ax.
Really time sensitive project.
Maggie's makes a peace offering:
Get outside the gate, with guards,
so you can shave whatever the fuck you think
you're growing on the bottom part of your face.
Bleh!
Who amongst us has not been here?
Rehashing a relationship with your ex while you're
stabbed in the tummy and she's wearing BMX armor.
It's almost too relatable.
And if this show thinks I'm gonna stick around
to see if these two bang again?
The answer is yeah, sure, I guess, why not.
I don't have anything better to do on a Sunday.
This right here is peak Grimes.
Rick, interrupted during his gun loading thoughts hour,
was finally ready to accept some
much needed medical treatment
until Siddiq said word one about prayers,
and Rick was like,
"Nah. Rather get infected to death, thanks."
Damn, Tobin, RIP.
And the will Carol and Tobin bang again story arc
comes to its gripping conclusion.
Oh, no, blood all over one of
the last pairs of white tennies ever.
This episode should've come with
a disclaimer for graphic content.
How is nobody waking up right now?
That dude just somersaulted down the stairs
and six more walkers just came
in the front door all
(gargling).
Come on with this shit.
Gregory is attempting to start a one child march
for ending easily preventable assault rifle Gregory deaths.
And while Gregory is the worst, as always,
Face Pubes over there makes some good points
about feeling good and how murder
might not make you feel so good.
But I'd rather feel bad and be a murderer
than feel good and have face pubes.
This Jesus kick with Michonne assist was awesome.
Please, a spinoff series that's just Jesus kicking zombies,
then Michonne stabbing them in the brain with a sword.
I don't know why I have to think of everything.
Oh, my god!
New Carl!
Goddamnit, New Carl, you are so dumb.
You have an assault rifle.
That fence is not bullet proof.
If you want to shoot at people behind the fence, just shoot!
You don't need to unlock the door because,
yep, yeah, they escaped.
God dammit, New Carl!
You are so New Carl!
And Henry is gone.
And now it's time to look for him.
Oh, goody another missing kid storyline involving Carol,
because all the fans loved it so much
the first time they did it.
Tune in next week.
Will Tara and Daryl ever decide how they feel about Dwight?
Turns out Daryl likes him and Tara likes him,
but Daryl likes him, likes him,
and he's waiting to find out how Dwight
feels about him from a friend.
Will the converted prisoners be loyal to Maggie?
Sure, lots of healthy, long lasting relationships
have come from Stockholm Syndrome.
Is the whole Morgan talking to a bloody ghost thing
extremely similar to Pet Sematary?
Yes, it is.
Pet Sematary is a really good movie,
much better than this show,
and if this show wants to rip off
Pet Sematary all the time, I'm all for it.
None of this and more,
next time on The Walking Dead.
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