-Well, you guys, it's day 27 of the government shut down
and I read that President Trump is starting to lose support
from key members of his base.
When he heard that, Trump was like, "Oh, no.
The Russians don't like me anymore?"
Not that ba-- the other base.
And get this -- due to the shut down, yesterday,
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi sent Trump a letter,
telling him to postpone the State of the Union.
And today, Trump sent Pelosi a latter,
canceling her trip to Afghanistan.
[ Laughter ]
I don't know what's worse, that our leaders are fighting
or that they're still writing letters.
Yo, just open the letter and --
ah, can't you just e-mail me or call me?
That's right, Trump got back at Pelosi
by canceling her flight on a government jet,
then he got snippy in his letter and said, "Obviously,
if you would like to make the journey by flying commercial,
that would certainly be your prerogative.
[ Laughter ]
And Pelosi said, "Yeah, I would, but thanks to your shut down,
no one can fly commercial, so..."
[ Cheering, applause ]
And I read that Pelosi was supposed to leave today,
and Trump only gave Pelosi 30-minutes notice
that her flight was canceled.
Even Southwest Airlines was like, "That's messed up, bro."
[ Laughter, applause ]
The whole thing is crazy.
Pelosi uninvited Trump to the State of the Union,
then Trump canceled her trip.
If this were a sitcom, everyone would be like,
"When are these two just gonna do it?"
[ Laughter ]
Oh, and this was going viral last night.
Cardi B posted an Instagram video
of herself talking about the government shutdown.
And well, just take a look at the clip.
-Trump...is now ordering [indistinct]
federal government workers to go back to work
without getting paid.
Now, I don't want to hear y'all [bleep] talking about,
"Oh, but Obama shut down the government for 17 days."
Yeah, bitch! For healthcare!
-Yeah.
[ Laughter, cheering, applause ]
Well, of course, her post got a bunch of comments,
and even some well-known people chimed in.
I'll show you what I mean. For example,
Joe Biden wrote, "I think I just found my running mate in 2020."
[ Laughter ]
Nicki Minaj wrote, "Wow, you throw shade
almost as hard as you throw shoes."
[ Laughter ]
-Oh-ho! Ohh...
-And finally, Mitch McConnell wrote,
"Stay in your lane, Cardi. Oh, [trills tongue]."
[ Laughter ]
He did. He said that.
-Wow.
-Here's another big story.
Last night, Rudy Giuliani went on CNN
and said that collusion between Trump's campaign and Russia
might have happened.
I'm not saying the interview was bad,
but the Democrats who were standing by to give a rebuttal
were like, "Actually, we're good."
That's -- We're gonna go home.
Just leave it at that."
Did you see this? In the interview,
Giuliani changed his story about collusion
between the Trump campaign and Russia
and basically said it might've happened.
Listen to this. -I never said
there was no collusion between the campaign!
Or between people in the campaign.
-Yes, you have. -I have no idea if --
I have not, I said the President of the United States.
[ Laughter ]
-Trump was like, "Forget the border.
We need to secure Rudy's mouth.
[ Laughter ]
Put something over it."
But you guys, Giuliani's constantly giving
on-camera interviews, and one thing I've noticed
is that he's always making some pretty interesting
facial expressions, like this one from last night's interview.
[ Laughter ]
See what I mean? So we thought it'd be fun
to go into our audience and see how well you guys can match
some of Giuliani's expressions.
It's time for Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition.
♪ -Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition ♪
♪ Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition ♪
-All right, here's how this works.
First we're gonna show you a photo of Rudy Giuliani,
Then we'll see how well you match his expression.
Raise your hand if you want to play the game.
Anyb-- sure. Here you go, buddy. Thank you.
[ Laughs ] I didn't see hands at all for a second.
Stand up. Here, you can this.
What's your name? -David.
-David, where are you from? -New Jersey.
-Hey, New Jersey! Hey, welcome, pal.
All right, here, let's take a look at this first photo.
Take a look. Yeah.
I'm not exactly sure what's happening there.
Let's see how well you can match it.
Ah, that's pretty good, actually!
-Pretty good, right? -That's actually not bad.
-It's pretty good. -That's really good.
[ Applause ]
And just for participating,
you get either one of two prizes --
this framed photo of Giuliani's expression
or this delicious, freshly-unwrapped hamburger.
-The photo. -You'll take the photo?
-Yeah. -There you go, buddy.
No problem. It's unwrapped. Unwrapped.
[ Applause ]
Yeah, hey.
Stand up. -Hi.
-Hi. What's your name? -Sabrina.
-Sabrina, where are you from? -Chicago.
-Hey! Chicago!
[ Cheering ]
Thank you for coming to the show.
I appreciate it. -Thank you.
-Let's take a look at our next Giuliani expression.
I mean, that's interesting right there.
Let's see how well you can match it.
Give it a try. -Okay.
-Yeah! It's pretty good! I like it!
All right. Decision time.
Photo or unwrapped hamburger.
-I'll take the photo. -You'll take the photo?
Good, no one's going for the hamburger.
I understand. No problem. Hey.
Hey, this man went to Yale. Did you go to Yale?
-No, I didn't. -Okay, perfect.
[ Laughter ]
What is your name?
-My name's Matt. -Matt. Is it really?
-It really is -- -Okay, perfect.
I just didn't know, with the way you're playing.
-Yeah, yeah. -Matt, you ready for this?
This is our final Giuliani expression.
Take a look at this.
That's not bad. Ooh! Let's see if you can do it.
Go for it. Yep.
Ah, that's fantastic!
You get the photo and you get -- give him the whole basket.
There's a basket of unwrapped hamburgers.
-Oh, thank you. -Oh, you're wel-- please.
Good luck at going back to school, there, buddy.
[ Cheering ]
That was our Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition.
Thanks to all of our players.
Let's get back to some jokes. Come on!
♪ -Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition ♪
♪ Face-Off -- Giuliani Edition ♪
-Listen to this, guys. It just came out that in 2015,
Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, paid someone to rig polls
for Trump using a Walmart bag filled with cash.
Today, people are like, "Come on, be classy.
At least hand over in a Target bag.
[ Laughter, applause ]
Please, I'm not a fool."
-[ Laughing ] God, a Walmart bag.
[ Laughter ]
Why?! Why? -I guess that it came out
this week that back in 2017,
the FBI opened an investigation into whether President Trump
was secretly a Russian agent.
Turns out the FBI actually opened several investigations
into members of Trump's cabinet without them knowing it.
For example, they opened an investigation into Mike Pence
to see whether he's secretly the Quaker Oats guy.
[ Laughter ]
No one knew this. -No, no, no, yeah.
-They never released it. -Yeah.
-They opened an investigation into Jared Kushner
to see whether he's secretly two kids
stacked on top of each other... -Wow.
-...and pretending to be an adult.
"[ High-pitched ] I'd like to buy some beer, please."
They opened an investigation
into Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin
to see whether he's secretly Ross from "Friends".
-Wow. That's not true. It's insane.
-They opened an investigation into Eric Trump
to see whether he's secretly Draco Malfoy.
[ Laughter, applause ]
'Cause it never released. -Yeah. It's all redacted.
-Finally, they opened an investigation
into Acting Attorney General Matthew Whitaker
to see whether he's secretly working part-time
as that egg from Instagram.
They don't know.
It's all coming out. -Yeah, they don't know.
-And finally, I heard that Disneyland has a new brewery.
[ Audience ooh's ]
When asked if having a few beers at Disney
helps them deal with their kids, parents were like,
"Kids -- oh, crap! The kids! Completely forgot!"
We have a great show tonight!
Give it up for The Roots, everybody!
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