-You're one of the busiest people out there now.
You have "America's Got Talent." -I do.
"America's Got Talent: Champions."
-"Champions." -Monday nights.
-You're doing that, but then on top of that,
you're doing "Deal or No Deal."
It's back. -Back.
-"Deal or No Deal."
-On CNBC. -CNBC.
-Wednesday nights. All brand-new episodes.
Bigger and better than ever.
New twists. You know? Now we have a female banker.
And we have an option
where the contestant can actually negotiate.
You have an opportunity to negotiate.
So if I say, "The banker's
offering you $150,000 right now for your case,"
you can go, "You know what?
For $225,000, I'll go home right now."
-Really?
-Well, I'm just making something up.
But you probably can, not for $225,000.
-That probably could happen.
-Yeah, so it's bigger and better than ever.
I'm doing that. And now I did a comedy special.
-I'm so excited about the comedy special,
because I haven't seen you do a special in a while.
-Well, you know, people know me
from "America's Got Talent" and "Deal or No Deal."
And people have forgotten that stand-up is my roots.
That's where I -- Not like you guys, but --
-No, that's a different Roots. -Your Roots are music.
But my roots are stand-up comedy.
And I continue to do --
I'm in Vail, Colorado, and Sarasota this week.
I'm always doing it.
But I decided to put it in Atlantic City.
The lovely people at the Hard Rock
opened the Howie Mandel Comedy Club.
-Are you kidding me? How does that make you feel?
Like, doesn't that make you feel great?
Starting as a comic, now you have your own club?
-I have my own club.
So, they said, "Would you like to come to the opening?"
I said, "Not only will I come to the opening,
I'll bring cameras, and I'll tape it."
And then I thought, "I have to write material."
-[ Laughs ] Yeah. "Oops." -I did.
Writing material has been a little bit -- I'll tell you.
Like, now that this is coming out, I'm writing new material.
Do you write -- You have a staff of writers.
-We have writers that help me, yeah.
-You know what I did the other week?
I was trying to write new material.
This is absolutely a true story.
I went to Bloomingdale's,
and I said to the guy, "Where's the men's underpants?"
I wanted to buy men's --
Well, of course I wanted to buy men's underpants, but I --
Not for men, for myself.
I don't buy underpants for others.
And the guy said to me -- Without me asking,
the guy says to me, "Oh, these are great.
These are moisture wicking."
I'd never heard that before. -Yeah.
-I don't know what moisture wicking is.
-That's a good thing. -Why is that a good thing?
What is moisture wicking? -I have no idea.
But it is a thing that's happening right now.
-But not in underpants. You don't want --
If you should be unlucky enough to moisten your underpants,
you don't want them wicked.
You want them off!
I don't want them --
"What's happening? I just wet myself. It's okay.
They're wicking as we speak."
-You'll be wicked clean.
-So, I thought of that in the middle of the night.
And I thought, "This will be a routine."
I swear to you.
So I wrote down, "I want my wet underpants off.
I don't want them wicked."
And I used to, years ago, in comedy,
I used to have a little notepad by my bed and write it down.
But now you text, right? -Sure.
So I had my iPad,
and for whatever reason, my text wasn't working.
So I said, "I'll e-mail it to myself."
-Sure. I've done that. -Right.
So I e-mail, "I don't want wet underpants.
I don't want my underpants to be wet.
I don't want them to be wicked. I want them off."
And I e-mailed it to myself.
The next day, I didn't see it.
So what I'm saying is...
if anybody out there has gotten an e-mail from me...
[ Laughter ]
I'm serious. -No context.
-That says "I don't want any wet underpants.
I don't want them wicked."
It was just material. I wasn't trying to...
-It's just material. -...do something inappropriate.
I was not doing anything. I would never.
-Please. -Right.
-The name of the special is fantastic, by the way.
It's perfectly -- I want to show everyone a clip.
And I'll tell you, the name of the special is,
"Howie Mandel Presents:
Howie Mandel at the Howie Mandel Comedy Club."
Let's take a look at a clip from the special.
-As a white heterosexual male comedian,
at this point with political correctness,
if I see an African-American man on the beach that I don't know,
as a white male heterosexual comedian,
I'm not allowed to tickle his tummy with my lips.
[ Laughter ]
Anymore.
[ Laughter ]
Sorry, buddy. I'm not allowed to.
That's just the way it was.
You look disappointed. Are you disappointed?
Are you disappointed? No, I'm not allowed to.
It's not the '80s. It's not the '90s.
It's a whole new world. Blblblblblb!
-Howie Mandel, everybody!




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