Insert your name, descendant of Erdrick lineage, legendary hero...
I've been waiting for your arrival...
I'm Facundo, but because there is a law in this kingdom about having names with four or five characters...
...and we don't want to repeat jokes about inserting names in RPG games, I think my name will be Facun.
Long time ago the Great Goddess gave to your sacred ancestor the Ball of Light.
Thanks to its power, our world was free of the threat which lay in waiting.
I don't follow the Goddess a lot, but ok...
However, years passed and there is a new danger:
Dragonlord...
I see, that's a big boss because he didn't follow that law about the five characters, didn't he?
I know that's the reason why monsters are chased...
With his astuteness, he stole the Ball of light, submerging our lands in the shadows one more time.
If we continue in this state, our kingdom will perish...
You know, I've come because of the royal guardian job...
...and you're relating me with an ancestor the one I don't have any idea, something about killing somebody I don't know, take a ball or something...
Defeat the evil Dragonlord and get back the Ball of light.
In those three chests you'll find useful items for your search.
Well, I think it's better than been locked in one of the castle's bedrooms like most of your subjects.
Let's see…
A torch...
...seriously?
I've been seeing soldiers everywhere perfectly armed, and you give me a stupid torch?
It's used for lighting caves.
I know that!
120 coins...
I've spent 120 coins in the wagon I used to arrive here and with that amount of money I can't buy neither the worst armor of the game…
But I know that this castle doesn't even have walls so I understand that you're poor...
You're right, instead of weapons, walls or other possessions...
... I spend all I get from villagers in trumpets for my soldiers.
You'll see what a great ending I've prepared!
Oh, a "magic key", with that name it must be useful.
Yeah, it's very cool.
When you entered here I asked the guards to lock the door.
Use it now.
Hey...
I'm older enough to know how to open a door...
What the fuck?
The key disintegrated…
You've learnt how to use magic keys, look for more!
Throw-away keys… Can somebody tell me what is the magic in this shit?
Get me out of here...!
I've been trapped here for about three years...!
...and I almost can't breath!
Everybody talk about Dragonlord's castle like if it was super far away and like if it was a great achievement…
…But as I'm seeing it is about four or five steps away from here.
That's right, that is Charlock castle, Dragonlord lives there.
Why not using a ship and cross that river?
Well, that's not a river...
...it looks more like a irrigation ditch...
Yeah, dude, but this is Dragon Quest, they have not invented ships...
...neither Spanish accents, French accents, gypsies accents, or whatever.
Let's build a bridge!
That's what you have to do.
but you need ancient artifacts that you'll get surrounding all the continents in order to make this game longer...
...and for not repeating jokes in which the end of a game is near the beginning.
Are you kidding me…
Anyway, did Lorik King mentioned about rescuing his daughter?
No.
He is the father of the year for sure...
And then, our hero started his Dragon Quest...
...he fought and showed all his bravery against several monsters...
¡From simple Chimaeras...
...to the violent Cosmic Chimaeras!
Or from the useless Drackys...
...¡to the evil Drackmages!
Because you know...
The pigmentation defines the strength...
And with cleverness and skills, our hero killed the dragon.
Oh, you saved me from that punky dragon.
That's right, young lady.
Take me to my home right now.
What the hell are you doing? Don't you see I have a lighted torch?
Uh, what a perv, I've lighted your torch...
...Shitballs...
Thus, our hero took the princess to her father, King Lorik.
Hi daddy! I'm here!
Oh, a hot chick... who are you?
Oh daddy, don't be silly, It's me, princess Lora, the apple of your eye.
...Lora... ...long time no see...
...how was the trip...?
She was kidnapped by a dragon!
...Ah, right, ah, well...
Continue with your adventure, oh great descendant of Erdrick.
C'mon I've rescued your daughter, at least give me some help!
I give you my...
...ah...
...daughter's hand!
...in marriage...
I'm super duper happy! yay!
That's what I needed, become the king of poorland…
Hey, at least she is hot.
She is a red-haired Bulma… in this world all women are Bulma...
Do not question the imagination of the great Akira Toriyama!
...When I kill that stupid Dragonlord and become king I will create the democracy...!
Well, tell me, my girl...
...when were you born?
He leveled up killing the evasive Metal Slimes...
...and he earnt a lot of money defeating the evil Gold Golem...
...in order to buy the best weapons and armors.
Because in medieval-themed videogames...
...the concept of barter never exists...
And evil capitalism already exists!
Until one day, a Golem blocked his path...
In this game a normal Golem is stronger than a gold one...
...even if in real life it wouldn't be like this...
But...
...The power of colours!
If you want to get to that city you'll have to destroy me!
Welcome to Cantlin, the most beautiful city of the entire kingdom.
Nobody is going to comment that this city was guarded by a giant Golem?
Was there a Golem? Man...
...now I understand why we haven't received letters or tourists for years.
Once he visited all the great but small Alefgard kingdom...
Our hero used the ancient artifacts which will help him in his final battle against Dragonlord.
Let's see, I'm level 20, I have all the artifacts and I can create the stupid rainbow bridge.
Oh c'mon it is like all the bridges of the game!
I've gone across the world for this? With four trunks I would have made this at the beginning…
Shut up!
I'm Dragonlord, the king of kings!
Are you the guy all people are afraid of? I was expecting more…
Don't make fun of me, you mortal.
If you are so evil… why have you never destroyed the other castle if it is right there?
Well, you know...
I've never thought about that!
My minions, devastate everything!
So tell me, do you want to join me?
Mm… this castle has got five plants, walls and powerful monsters but I can talk with them...
...and I don't know why humans are hostile with them…
Ok, I'm on it.
Why...?
I've accepted 15 times and it is never real...
Okay, I'll have to kill Dragonlord.
Finally, our hero kills Dragonlord.
Very good, it's the end, you saved the world!
Give me a good compensation!
Of course, as I said...
...I'll proclaim you the king of Alefgard "in nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti", and that's all...
Got hit it!
Wait, father!
We've decided me and…
...what was your name?
Facundo...
Facun, Facun, Facun!
That's better.
What I was saying…
...me and him want to go for adventures.
Eh… when did we decide that?
Seriously, when did we talk about something?
I mean, go around there killing cutie monsters and those cool things.
No way. Now I want to be the king, I don't want more trips...
Yes.
No!
Yes!
No!
Yes!
Dude, it is a closed loop of RPGs, you have to say "yes".
And why they did give you an option for declining!?
For paying attention to the conversation, I think.
If I were a videogame developer I would make it because of that...
...but I wouldn't be so asshole to play whole sequences like in some games.
Yes!
Okay, alright!
I'm so happy!
Perfect, great for me!
There are still monsters over there...
...my daughter leaves the castle again...
and I'm still the king!
...This is a shit of ending…
You are freaking out, right?
You're the worst fucking king in the world...
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