I've been seated at a lot of boors in my life.
Who hasn't?
And I just suck it up and go forth.
Who hasn't?
I've been boring at parties before.
I'm probably boring right now, but you know,
get over it.
(upbeat music)
Our background and etiquette is simply growing up
in the Mississippi Delta as our environment,
and our experiences growing up with our mothers.
Gayden and I always say that in the South,
no child ever takes a bite of food in peace,
because mother is too busy trying to make sure
she takes it properly.
So mothers, that's the key to etiquette.
You know Charlotte, when we grew up,
we had Amy Vanderbilt, and we had Emily Post,
and later on there as Judith Martin, Miss Manners.
We had lots of references, and I think we're missing
that right now.
Oh, I totally agree.
I think the thing I think that a lot of people
would like to know, you can absolutely find references.
And I would say maybe go with an older reference book.
Does a day go by that we don't make a faux pas?
Not major faux pas.
Well, Gayden's speaking for herself,
and I've made some faux pas that still keep me
awake at night.
I was handing off a job, this gossip columnist,
to somebody else.
And the person who had it before me had a dinner,
and I was supposed to toast both of them, they toasted,
and I couldn't think of anything to say.
And the thing I learned is always be prepared
to say a few nice things.
You don't have to prepare a toast,
but always go to a party with a few nice things to say.
It's hard sometimes.
And remember Gayden, what your mother said
about being invited to parties?
That's right, my mother always taught us
when we were growing up, she said,
as we were walking out the door,
you are not invited to this party
because they think you're hungry or that you're thirsty.
You're invited to add something to the party.
Amen, brother.
It is your obligation to make conversation.
Don't be a bump on a log.
I think that every invitation deserves a response,
whether it's a negative or a positive.
So, I just think you say I would love to come,
but I have plans.
But if you say I would love to come, but I have plans,
be careful where you go that night.
I think you're better off with an invitation,
they all don't have to be formal.
They can definitely be a handwritten note,
but please put RSVP or please respond.
I called Gayden from the airport and I said,
I just talked to this wonderful young banker from Birmingham
and she says you don't have to wear stockings
to go where you're going in Birmingham.
And Gayden said, she must be very young.
It's fine to go without stockings
unless you're going to the Court of St. James.
When in Rome, do as the Romans.
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