New Zealand author Let's welcome out our next case
with a quote by American businessman Warren Buffett...
<i> "Investment risk</i> <i> comes from not knowing</i>
<i> what you're investing in."</i>
Please bring out the litigants.
It's not fair to spend money on something
only to have someone else enjoy the benefits.
Patience is the key to success.
-Good afternoon and welcome. -Good afternoon, ma'am.
Julio, you're the plaintiff. You're suing Mary.
Tell me who she is, why you're suing her,
and what you're requesting to settle this case.
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Mary's my wife, if you can call her that.
I want a divorce and the $50,000 I spent on her vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds.
I hope not.
How long have you been married?
Two and a half years.
-Any children? -No.
No children.
Tell me what brought you here.
We've been married for little over two years.
She was the love of my life. My everything.
We share the same hobbies. I love speed and motorcycles.
We'd always go out together.
We never had children, but I always wanted to.
She finally got pregnant. We had a baby.
Unfortunately, some lady ran a stop sign
and we got into an accident.
She lost the baby.
She was riding with you while pregnant.
Yes.
Even though you knew how dangerous it was.
We were young.
She lost the baby and suffered from vaginal dystrophy.
It destroyed us.
We were severely depressed, but life had to go on.
She got the worst of it, since she was pregnant.
She had surgery, but it was useless.
She went in for a second surgery
in which her uterus was reconstructed
and recommended her several exercises
to help her tighten her uterus.
At first, it was once a week, but it helped her get better.
It was expensive, ma'am. She wasn't working.
I worked while she took care of house chores.
I opened a line of credit to help me pay for everything.
Surgery, therapies, and all that?
Exactly.
Your insurance wouldn't pay for it, I imagine.
No.
I was the only one working.
I worked day in and day out.
I have a beautiful wife.
I was dying to f--- her again.
We hadn't been together in over a year.
My hands are practically callused!
Such lovely details.
That was so unnecessary.
What happened then?
She'd always have an excuse.
"This hurts. I can't..."
"Stop it..."
"My therapy. I'm tired from the gym."
I was fed up.
I noticed her therapies went from once a week to two,
to three, to the point where she wanted to go every day.
-To therapy? -Yeah.
What kind of therapy was it?
I'm Puerto Rican. I have a filthy mind.
You know how it is.
Thing is, a friend of mine told me she was cheating on me.
I was like, "How? That thing's new."
I paid $50,000 for it.
I paid $50,000 cash
to have her looking like a 15-year-old again.
To have someone else enjoy it?
She had vaginal reconstruction surgery?
Yeah.
So? What did you find out?
To make it short...
She was having sex with some dude!
Her so-called "therapist."
-And you walked in on them... -While they were doing it!
-I ripped him a new one. -The guy?
Who else?
She was practically like new!
I paid good money to have first dibs.
You buy a new car, you want that new car smell.
My hands were tired after one and a half years of waiting.
So you broke the therapist's face.
What's that on your podium?
Evidence. Everything I invested on her.
"Investment."
He keeps calling his wife's vaginal reconstruction
an "investment."
Let's see.
Oh! You had bladder problems.
I see.
They told you to do some Kegel exercises
to help strengthen and tighten your pelvic floor muscles.
You were supposed to do them at home, as instructed by your...
That, and vaginal rejuve... Got it.
Okay. Anything else?
She has no shame! Therapy my foot.
I loved her, but this was the last straw.
Okay. Let's take a short break.
When we come back, you'll respond to the
He has no right to demand that money back.
As a married couple, he invested in me.
In something new. New!
It's new!
Her vagina's got more miles on it than I-95.
He already f----- you. Don't you get it?
Look, ma'am.
Let me explain. He's dumb.
He doesn't get it. He's that jealous.
We...
After the accident, my vagina prolapsed.
I went in for reconstructive surgery.
We decided to have sex some time after the surgery,
but my doctor advised me to do these exercises.
I did them, and when we finally had sex,
I wouldn't stop bleeding.
The pain was unbearable. Horrible.
Did we or didn't we have to rush to the ER more than once?
-We did. -So...
The doctor...
His "friend," as he was saying,
told me about her "toy collection."
She said I could use them to stimulate myself
since I have to exercise my vagina.
They didn't work out for me, though.
It wasn't my thing.
I tried glass ones, plastic ones,
everything I could get my hands on.
The doctor told me I was allergic to them.
-All of them? -All of them.
He told me it was normal,
especially for someone in my condition.
He said my surgery could be ruined.
"I'll give you some advice.
Find a therapist to help you out."
Fine.
I was at the gym one day, you know, exercising,
when a therapist told me
he was an expert on these type of things.
"Bingo," I said. "I found my guy."
-Your personal trainer? -Yes.
-He was a Kegel expert? -I explained my case to him...
And what an expert he was.
-This is all your fault! -My fault?
-You don't trust me. -How is it my fault?
-Because you won't trust me. -Are you kidding me?
Okay, ma'am.
One day, my personal trainer's car broke down.
He asked me for a ride and I said okay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
So I took him home.
When we got there,
he asked me inside to show me how the therapy works.
The ones my doctor recommended, remember?
He told me he needed to give me a massage,
that I needed to connect my mind with my vagina.
You know, my privates.
He massaged me to the point
where I was able to take him in.
-He was very professional. -He broke my piggy bank.
He was very professional, ma'am.
$50,000 down the toilet.
It's true, we slept together.
I thought my marriage had been saved.
I went home to him, and... nothing.
What happened?
I got home, slipped into my sexiest lingerie,
had sex with him, and started bleeding again because...
I mean, this is none of your business, but he's... big.
I thought so.
He's big. I loved it.
I love him, ma'am.
-You don't want a divorce, then. -Of course not.
I've tried to talk some sense into him.
I love you. I'm doing this for us.
Get out of here!
Wait.
So you went back to your personal trainer?
I did. We had sex.
I was relaxed.
I thought, "Thank God, I did it!"
After we had sex, I started bleeding again,
so I waited a couple of days before doing it all over again.
My trainer told me it'd take some time,
that we had to do it constantly to, you know...
-Expand? -I need to exercise my vagina.
It's therapeutic.
In fact, the doctor recommended me this therapist, a woman,
who'd use toys to help me get dilated.
That's different, though.
No, it's not. It's the same thing.
I'm having sex with someone else.
She's allergic to toys, though. Didn't you hear her?
I can't. I've tried everything.
-Do you have witnesses? -Yes.
Please bring them out.
-He's a professional. -He sure is.
-Good afternoon. -Good afternoon, ma'am.
Ma'am, I never turned in my evidence.
Let's me see it. What'd you bring?
Records documenting my the prolapsed vagina...
Oh, it's your medical history.
Where are my $50,000?
Right here!
Look at me, ma'am!
We haven't even -----!
I'm dying to get a taste of that, but we can't...
Claudia is the plaintiff's witness.
What are you here to say?
Ma'am, Julio and I have been friends since we were kids.
I met her after they got married.
We get along well.
I'd recommended some toys.
I agreed to give her a new set of vibrators.
They were all different sizes
so she could use them accordingly.
It's worked for me.
I underwent vaginal reconstruction surgery too.
I did it a while ago.
I haven't slept with any guys.
I'm doing quite well.
Depending on my mood,
I go for a bigger or smaller size.
You're not allergic, though. She is!
Yes, but she said she wanted to be train...
She wanted... a man.
Someone real.
My doctor suggested it, ma'am.
I'm real!
The doctor suggested it!
I followed his orders so I could...
How could he ask you to sleep with another man?
You're married!
-No... -That's what I said.
That makes zero sense.
It's not like he told me to find another man.
My husband is a freak in the sheets.
He's very horny. He loses all control.
I know you want our sex life...
Bring out the defendant's witness
along with Mr. Williams Lucena and Dr. Carolyn Maldonado.
There's the shameless bastard.
He's enjoying the $50,000!
Calm down. Your name?
Raul.
You're a personal trainer, right?
Yes.
You work at a gym.
-How long has it been? -Four years.
How'd you get started in the sexual therapy field?
You're a sex surrogate.
I can explain.
My program starts by working out the muscles.
Once we trust each other more, we move on to massages
and then we move on to penetration.
You're both shameless.
It's not what you think, though.
Don't you think that a personal trainer
has no qualifications to be doing this?
I worked on this in Spain.
It worked out well.
He helps me connect both my mind and vagina.
He's been prostituting...
Did she pay you for your services?
Of course.
Prostitution is running rampant.
I just need you to help him understand...
No, I won't do that.
He can make his own conclusions.
Make him understand? Seriously?
I'll be ready to sleep with him in just two months!
You've been -------...
Two more months of training to sleep with her husband.
Dr. Maldonado, let's talk about her case
because it could happen to any woman.
Yes. It's very commonplace.
People don't know how often this happens
because it's not openly discussed,
even though women are very open with each other.
It's the result of a multitude of factors.
Multiple births, trauma, etc.
The pelvic floor weakens
and gravity causes the bladder to prolapse.
It can cause incontinence,
pain during sex or during penetration, discomfort, etc.
Tell me about this kind of therapy.
Different sized vaginal dilators are used.
If she's allergic, then her allergy can be treated first.
She didn't need to look for a human dilator.
Her allergy can be treated.
What if her husband is very well endowed?
She'd keep working with the dilators
until she reaches one that matches his size.
Can she do something so his penis won't...
Where there's a will, there's a way, Doctor!
I've heard stories about yesteryear.
There are different positions.
Some don't allow the penis to fully enter the vagina...
He's huge!
Are you deaf?
Why are you still bringing that up?
I think you like your trainer.
He's a professional.
He's not! Oh, please!
He's a personal trainer who works at a gym!
You were cheating on your husband.
You were unfaithful because you liked the trainer.
Don't give me that nonsense.
You keep asking me for help...
He's a cute Spaniard!
You liked him! Plain and simple.
Not at all.
What do you think? What's going on here?
She's trying to hide the fact that she's attracted to him.
She can undergo therapy as an educational experience
in which both are taught how to have sex.
Her husband has to be present.
There is such a thing as a sex surrogate,
but the individual's partner has to be present
so they both benefit from the therapy
and so it's not considered cheating.
-Right. -Or an infidelity.
Okay.
Julio, listen to what I'm about to say.
You want $50,000 and a divorce,
but I can tell you're still attracted to her.
She's hot!
You like her...
You're just bitter because she cheated on you.
I'm going to ask you point blank.
Do you honestly and earnestly want to divorce her?
You like her a lot.
Or given everything you've heard from the experts,
would you like to give your relationship a second chance?
I love her.
You do.
Would you be willing to stop going
to your extramarital therapies with this gymnast?
Of course, ma'am.
Okay.
Since both parties have reconciled...
You may kiss.
I declare you husband and wife time and time again.
Your claim is denied!
The case is dismissed because they changed their minds.
It's final! Case closed!
Be kind, be careful, get educated,
give respect to get respect and may God help us!
See you next time!
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