-Today, I'm going to link up with my friend Bohan Phoenix, a Chinese rapper who lives in New York City.
-Aye, aye! What's good? -What's good, baby?
-Nice to see you, man.
-Bohan is always touring in China and knows tons about Chinese food and ingredients.
He's talked up Flushing forever , as the place to go for authentic Chinese food.
Next we head to a dungeon of spiciness, where Bohan shows me his favorite dish,
spicy beef noodles. He orders that shit jadala.
-Jala means "extra spicy." -Ahh, man my butthole is going to be hurting, bro
-So, beef noodles. -Yeah, I want the jala beef noodles, know what I'm saying
-So , this is appetizers : they're all cold, and when you're eating that spicy noodles , this here will balance out that flavor.
Look at him with the fork right here. That's doing it wrong already . What's going on ? There we go .
Yeah, so me and the homies, we took like a nine city tour, all through China.
It was beautiful, man, and one of the things that really stuck with me, again, was the food.
-Oh my God. There is an outrageous amount of chili on this sh*t. Let's get it.
-See, like, for me, someone who's really from Tintu and I need that jala, we 'bout to be high off spice.
-My mouth is getting assaulted, bro -Exactly.
No joke.
-Yeah, like when the spice is starting to take over, and you can't talk no more, you start sounding like a little dumbass.
You start eating some of that, nah mean, and you cool right there.
-We were holding on: it got a little hard to talk, but we made it.
It was f*cking delicious, too. So we walk into this bao factory; all of a sudden,
I'm helping the lady make her bao.
So, I'm trying to learn how to pinch it around properly,
because the ones that they do have this beautiful little ring on top.
-Oh, that's not bad! That's not bad for a beginner.
-That was way better than what I was expecting.
-That's like a 10 right there, that's like a 4.5.
-Ask her what she thinks.
-I won't even touch that. -Ask her what she thinks.
-Oh, she said 8, baby
So, buns and noodles, that's from the north.
That's where it's colder and you can't really grow much vegetables.
That's why the diet is flour based, feel me? I got to take you overseas one day and do it for real, for real.
-We're going.
-Flushing is, like, for Chinese people who left China and they wanted to,
like, resume their life flawlessly, without any interruptions.
See, most Chinese people don't even know what weed smell like, that's why they not trippin', you know what I mean.
They like, "Damn, that's a funky cigarette that kid smokin.'"
-Next, Bohan takes me to a place famous for its stinky tofu —
a dish that tastes great, but smells like an unwashed butthole.
-So, are there spots in China that serve stinky Tofu, that it's just, like, the restaurant?
Yeah. Like, you could smell it, like, half a mile away, just sh*t.
-My stomach is seriously churning.
It really smells like butthole, but it's good. It's funky, it's like eating a stinky cheese.
-The stink is overwhelming, bro. I really think I'm done, to be honest.
Next we hit an amazing supermarket around the corner,
not like something you usually see in Manhattan.
Buckets of soft-shelled crabs, live frogs packed to the brim.
-Oh, damn, this is creeping the sh*t out of me, bro.
-It's all good, he ain't gone get you. Ow, f*ck, that shit had a f*cking hurt.
It actually kinda cut me.
-Number 1, garlic scapes: you can't get these at a farmers market right now.
I don't know where the f*ck these are coming from.
That's why I'm hype about being at this market —
— I mean, you can't get a lot of this stuff, period. It's a total surprise.
-For sure. -A dollar for a bag of fresh noodles, just like we've been eating.
-Let's get two. -Let's get two. Different kinds.
I think I want to get some fresh clams, seafood, and I want to find a sauce that I can
integrate into this in a cool way.
-If you need that real good jala, that extra spicy,
you see this can with the mom on it, that's it right there.
-I picked up a bunch of shit and it was like 16 bucks.
I'm stuffed, but I'm ready to hit the kitchen and cook this stuff up.
So, I'm really psyched.
I'm going to steam the clams with some garlic scape and white wine,
and make a sort of sauce that I'm going to put on top of the noodles
noodles that I'm going to dress with a little bit of this jala spicy sauce
sauce that Bohan picked out for me from the market. I'm psyched.
Put one of these clams right onto my fork — actually, why stop at one?
I need two.
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