Today is watchtower memorial day 2017. There are a lot of videos about the way former JW are treated by JW.
But today, we want to talk about something different, namely the so-called "day after"
the first day of you not being a JW anymore, the first day after leaving the community of the JW.
I personally wouldn't call it "the day after" as it's too depressing. I would call it "the first day of a new life"
How did you quit the Jehovah Witnesses?
I quit with a letter, personally
I left on my own accord, although an elder convened a committee.
Whether it was expulsion or not doesn't matter - the outcome is still the same.
I left by self-exclusion.
That means I have written a letter to Selters and the at that time committee.
And as an answer I just got a message on my phone from the coordinator saying that I have been expelled.
I quit the JW by writing an withdrawal letter.
For me, it was a slow process.
I withdrew step by step from them,
until I someday mentally completely broke up with them.
I quit as an interested. It was a very slow process, but after a conversation with my uncle realized that I want to leave the organization. And I told my mother.
Are you still in contact with friends or family that's still part of JW?
Unfortunately, there is no contact whatsoever to friends or family that still belong to JW. It's a pity, but it can't be changed.
I'm still very close to my mother, we see each other regularly and call each other from time to time.
Apart from that, I have a cousin whom I writing letters too.
But with her sister and parents I'm not interacting anymore – for a couple of years already.
Unfortunately not. Not with my former mother and father in law – the father in law was an elder –
and also my ex-wife, which I find sad. But that are their rules and I can't do anything about it.
Unfortunately, I'm not in contact with my family. My family broke off contact with me –
siblings, parents....well, that's how it is, unfortunately.
I do still communicate with my parents, although very superficial.
Talking about religion is pretty much impossible. Only slowly did they realize that I'm no longer attending meeting and that I criticize JW.
That's the same with my relatives on my mother's side and on my father's side I hardly interact with them any more.
Yes, of course I'm still in contact with my mother, we're quite close actually. Unfortunately, that's different with my aunt, uncle and their oldest daughter. With the little one I built a good relationship – which I'm very happy about.
Do you still believe in God?
Yes, I still believe in God and I still like the thought that he will eventually intervene and turn earth into paradise.
But I think that the criteria for getting there are different from the ones we were taught.
I think it's mainly about people practising charity, not about some self-imposed regulations. Therefore I'm optimistic. Yes, I do still believe in God.
I believe in God again. But my faith is definitely different from the one of the JW.
Yes, I do. I believe there is a creator and I'm living my faith the way it's best and most meaningful for myself.
Whether I still believe in God? I don't know. I don't know what's up there.
I do believe that there is something that created the world and that's taking care of us.
But I don't know if that's God or angels. I have no clue.
Yes, but that's a whole new story. Anyway, I don't believe in this old, angry, punishing man any more.
No, not God as a person. But if he really exists and Jesus, then I'm definitely thankful for his sacrifice. But my tendency is towards a higher power, but not a person.
What was the first thing you felt/thought/did that day?
Nothing special. I don't know.
It was strange, because your whole life changed and you're moving towards an uncertain future, but that day....
don't know. Maybe drank a beer? Don't know.
Well, I wasn't present at the disclosure, but on the day I talked to the elder, I felt relieved, I felt freed.
I phoned my that time girlfriend and I think I even opened up a beer.
My feelings were rather mixed. On one hand I was glad and relieved to have left the community.
On the other hand I also knew the consequences regarding my ex-wife, whether our marriage could last.
Unfortunately, it didn't because of her believe.
I felt happy and I was glad to have finally left the JW.
Even though I was a little sad because I also lost contact with my family.
As my leaving happened step by step and very slowly, I can't really pinpoint my final withdrawal.
But I think it was when I was forced to move out of the shared apartment of me and my wife and I was looking for a new apartment in a different town.
In the months before that, I dealt a lot with the teachings of the JW. So moving had a liberating effect.
The next day, I though to myself that my body is mine from now on and I can have sex with whom where and however I want to.
Though I still believed in God, but not in a God of the Bible and especially not in the God of the Watch Tower Society.
And as the Bible says that God is a happy God and we want to copy him, I took him at his word
and celebrated my informal withdrawal that evening my way.
For the first time, I had the feeling of real freedom, of this being the right decision.
Do you miss anything?
Yes, I do. Mum, Dad, my two sisters and one or two friends.
That's something you miss quite a lot. Because a life without parents or sisters -
although you know that they live just a few km from your house - is quite terrible.
I don't miss anything about the teaching of the JW.
I miss my friends, my relatives, because it has been a good time. But I rebuild my life without them, because I had to and because I was able to do so.
But I rebuild my life without them, because I had to and because I was able to do so.
To be honest, the only thing I miss are a couple of social contacts which broke up because of their rules.
Apart from that I am glad to have left and I'm trying to make the best of my free thinking and acting.
The only thing I miss is my family and not knowing how they are. Apart from that I don't miss anything at all.
A little bit I miss my friends from that time, the community and rituals that give you a sense of security.
Some years after I left, I could make a similar experience in another community.
Such experiences I can have anytime anywhere else as well.
I don't miss the teachings of the JW or the performance pressure, the unofficial.
Theocratic preachings, Preaching school etc tc. Of course there is something you miss.
Namely the social contacts you had in the community, of course you miss that.
Did you ever think of going back?
No, the though never occurred to me, because my life feels right the way it is right now and that's why I don't think about going back.
To be honest, no. Definitely not.
I returned once after my first expulsion. Then I regretted it.
But I think I needed it to know that it's wrong to be a part of the JW. And now, after my second expulsion,
I am determined never to go back again, because I am a lot happier this way.
Never really. For the first two or three years, I sometimes went to the meetings, out of curiosity,
but I knew that this wasn't a place for me and that I couldn't stand those empty words any more.
On one hand I'm longing for my old friends, but on the other hand I can do without those superficial friendships.
Even if I were to go back, it would never be the same again. I've seen it happen to other people,
who returned for a short period, but they couldn't rebuild their former friendships.
Yes, there really was a point in my life where I thought of it,
but then I always remembered the conversation I had with my uncle, who is a JW as well,
and that always made me choose freedom over JW.
What would you tell your friends and family if you could?
I would tell them that I miss them very much and that life without them isn't very nice,
that I felt horrible because of the loss of contact and that I think it isn't very pleasing to God to leave someone alone
is such a situation only to blackmail them to return to something that's just human made as well, it is a human organization,
there are seven humans as heads of this organization. That's not directly from God. That's something I would tell them, that their way isn't the right one.
I would tell them I miss them and that I'm still there for them,
but I also don't want to pretend that things are awesome between us again.
I'd be aggrieved because of what has happened. And that's why it's probably better
to go separate ways because we have drifted apart.
I didn't decide against you, but against this organization, because I realized it's not good for me
and in my opinion they don't speak the truth. I'd like to say that my doors are still wide open
for you and if you have any questions, you can always come and ask.
I would love to open their eyes, I'd like to show them that life without JW is so much more intense and beautiful.
I just want to tell them that I love them, even though they're not keeping in touch any more .
And if they would ever leave the organization, my arms are open.
To my family and all of my friends that are still with JW:
if you still miss me, it's not ME who is responsible for our separation,
but YOUR rules that YOU have decided on. It's you who are controlled by others.
I'd like to apologise to my cousin for the way I wrote something. I don't want to apologise for the content of the message, but for the situation.
I was quite upset. There's nothing I got to say to my uncle and aunt except that I don't feel like we are relatives
any more and that it is because of your doing. And that's OK, I can accept it, I can live without you.
Are you happy with your present life?
Yes, as I mentioned before, I'm happy, I'm content, my life turned out well,
it's as it's supposed to be, I'm leading a good life. It could hardly be better. It's nice.
I like my life, but I'm not satisfied, which means I can still improve, grow. And that's the beauty of it.
I am a lot happier with my new life. I can do whatever I want,
I made great friends and I will never go back. Yes, I'm very happy.
Yes, a self-determined life definitely makes me happy.
Yes, I am happy. I've got a family, a job and an excellent health. I am happy!
Would you go back?
No, as I mentioned before, I couldn't imagine going back and I never will.
Definitely no.
I would never go back. Never! I am so happy! Never!
Never.
Nop
I used to be a baptised JW and I am glad and happy to have left this organization.
I used to be JW and I am happy to have decided against this religious community.
Yes, I used to be a JW and I must say I'm happy that I decided against this organization.
I used to be a JW and I am glad to have left this organization.
I used to be JW and I am glad to have left this organization.
I used to be a interested of JW to have decided against this organization.
We give credit and pay our respect to all former Jehovas Witnesses worldwide who have managed to build a life outside the organization of Jehovah's Witnesses.
We should never forget what kind of clutches we were able to free ourselves from and never sweep our experiences under the carpet.
We should speak openly about the subject Jehovah's Witnesses, what we have experienced in this community and endured to this day.
Each of us has made his personal struggle with this religious group in which individual people do not count. Instead, daily performance, fear, and psychological terror reign.
Always keep in mind that we all are different but have one thing in common:
We were caught in this organization and actually managed to free ourselves from a cult, now having the chance to live our lives in peace.
Cast
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