-Is everyone enjoying the holiday season in New York City?
Nothing like seeing Santa with a bell in one hand
and a vape pen in the other.
"Put some money in the pot.
I got to be Elmo in Times Square in 10 minutes."
[ Laughter ]
This year, I read that some people are hiring professionals
to put up their holiday decorations for them.
I don't know.
I like the old-fashioned way where dad hangs on to the gutter
while screaming, "Hold the ladder, damn it!"
[ Laughter ]
Now, this is fun.
A new poll found that America's favorite Christmas movie
is "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer."
Yeah, while America's least favorite is still
"Frosty Deals With the Harsh Reality of Climate Change."
[ Laughter ]
Still not -- Least favorite.
Let's get to some news here.
Last night Robert Mueller made a big announcement
about Trump's former national security adviser, Michael Flynn.
-Special Counsel Robert Mueller
recommending former Trump national security adviser
Michael Flynn get no jail time
after giving what Mueller called substantial assistance
in the Russia probe.
-Now, I'm not saying Flynn flipped on Trump,
but today he and Mueller bought matching Christmas pajamas.
[ Laughter ] Yeah, for the card.
-Oh, that's cute.
-Last week, we heard about Michael Cohen flipping on Trump.
Now it's Michael Flynn.
Today Trump was like, "That's it.
Deport everyone named Michael.
[ Laughter ]
Everyone."
People were hoping to learn a lot
from the Russia investigation from Mueller's court filing,
but most of what he wrote was redacted.
Take a look at this page.
[ Laughter ]
Trump was like, "Did he try to highlight using a Sharpie?
'Cause I do that all the time.
Doesn't work."
Trump actually tried scratching off the black parts
with a nickel.
He's like, Come on, big money.
Come on, big money!"
And this is big -- Trump's former adviser Roger Stone
was asked to speak to the Senate
about their Russia investigation,
but he's pleading the Fifth.
Can we see Roger Stone?
[ Laughter ]
Forget Russia, I think he was colluding with Harry Potter
and Orville Redenbacher.
[ Applause ]
Yeah, rather than speak to investigators,
Roger Stone is pleading the Fifth.
But while Stone himself won't talk about 2016,
his fashion choices actually do a lot of the talking.
I'll show you what I mean.
For instance this outfit says,
"I saw a lot of things in 2016, and they all looked gigantic
because I'm wearing magnifying glasses over my eyes."
[ Applause ]
Next up, this outfit says,
"I was not involved with any Russian mobsters.
I only associate with Brooklyn mobsters from the 1920s."
"Now, look, see.
Here's the way we're going to do this, now."
-Now.
-Next up, this outfit says,
"I didn't have time to collude with Putin.
I was too busy playing a real-life game of Jumanji."
-Wow. [ Applause ]
-And finally, this outfit says,
"Even on the weekends, I'm a weird dude."
[ Laughter, applause ]
The outfits say it all.
Some celebrity news -- It was just announced
that our good friend Kevin Hart
is going to host the 91st Academy Awards.
-Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Great.
-The best part about Kevin hosting
is that we know that he's going to keep things short.
-Yeah. -Hey.
-Hey, guys, I heard that --
-Hey.
Hey.
-Guys, a recent study found that today's students
think they learn more from YouTube
than they do from textbooks.
[ Applause ]
No, no, no.
Don't clap for that.
No.
[ Laughter ]
You should read your textbooks. Yeah, no.
It does sound odd, but you can actually learn a lot
from the same lessons you'd find in a textbook on YouTube.
I'll show you what I mean.
For instance, if you're studying physics,
a textbook will tell you that uncontrolled chain reactions
are usually man-made,
but YouTube will just show you this.
[ Laughter ]
Oh, my God.
Oh.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Wow.
-Next, if you're studying international relations,
a textbook will tell you that Canada is a proud country
that values public displays of patriotism.
YouTube will just show you this.
-♪ Oh, Canada ♪
♪ Our home and native land ♪
[ Laughter ]
-Next, if you're studying pharmacology,
a textbook will tell you, do not operate heavy machinery
after taking prescription painkillers,
but YouTube will just show you this.
[ Engine revving ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Applause ]
-What?!
-And finally, if you're studying science,
a textbook will tell you that a tropical storm
is an intense low-pressure system
that forms over the ocean,
but YouTube will just show you this.
-This is a tropical storm.
And you say, "Dan, why are you showing me this?"
Because John's going to divert.
The moisture from John left over will spin.
The storm itself will turn into a depression.
-Okay, alright, that's very helpful, very helpful.
-Tropical Storm Johnson.
[ Laughter ]
-And finally, guys, a family in California
is looking for their son's teddy bear
after it floated away in a cluster of balloons.
Then Pixar said, "Sold!"
We have a great show tonight. Give it up for the Roots.
For more infomation >> Teaser: Beatrice Egli und Isabel Varell nass gemacht | Verstehen Sie Spaß? - Duration: 1:32. 
For more infomation >> Đạt Võ & Kim Ryna - Tình Người Ngoại Đạo (Phượng Linh) Nhạc Giáng Sinh Hay Nhất 2019 - Duration: 4:34. 
For more infomation >> Exciter 150 2019 PAN ASEAN Xanh Đồng ánh hồng: Cận cảnh màu lạ! - Duration: 12:06. 
For more infomation >> [Official Audio] 척(Chuck) - 별땅 - Duration: 3:46. 
For more infomation >> [Official Audio] 코요태(KYT) - 미련(Still Attached) - Duration: 3:46. 
For more infomation >> Trường Mầm Non, Con Cò Bé Bé - Nhạc Thiếu Nhi Remix Vui Nhộn Sôi Động - Duration: 3:17. 
For more infomation >> [Official Audio] 듀스(DEUX) - 나를 돌아봐 - Duration: 3:48. 
For more infomation >> [Official Audio] 조덕배(Jo duck bai) - 그대 내맘에 들어오면은 - Duration: 3:27. 
For more infomation >> [Official Audio] 이상우(Lee Sang Woo) - 그녀를 만나는 곳 100m 전 - Duration: 4:19. 
For more infomation >> I miei giochi per Nintendo Switch del 2018 ⋆ Cosa acquistare nel 2019? ⊷ #gon_Switch - Duration: 23:21. 
For more infomation >> Camion de pompier, Pompier dessin anime francais, Sam le Pompier en français - Duration: 11:01. 
For more infomation >> Kleingeld weg, Android Smartphone her – Die Kiosküberraschung / Mobiles Bezahlen - Duration: 1:31. 
Không có nhận xét nào:
Đăng nhận xét