- Great, this part is about Michonne
and we know it because of this super necessary title card,
A card that says, "Zombie who gets
"his damn face melted off," would've
been a much better sales pitch.
Thank heavens Carl used fireproof hand paint, then coated
the entire house with fireproof paint just to be safe.
Guys, sorry to interrupt your MENSA meeting,
but Carl sat on lots of roofs.
Who cares?
Now is not the time to play Backdraft.
What you need to do is extinguish your love
for a kid who sucked but now is dead.
And a lot of good that did!
Great job, team, strong work all around.
Rick is positively stumped, trying to figure out
what Carl meant when he clearly said
they should stop fighting with the Saviors.
And when it seems like Michonne might have a lead on things,
referring to Carl's letters that would clarify
exactly what he meant, Rick is like, "Not now.
"I need to talk to the trash lady.
"I own her."
Michonne seems less than thrilled about sharing a car
with this self-proclaimed white slave-owner.
The Trash People use Kevin McCallister technology,
and the only blue paint that apparently exists
in the zombie apocalypse, also these weird zooms.
They are very weird and also bad.
Cool, this part is about Negan now.
Thank you, title card, good to know.
And in case you missed the title card, Negan just said,
"Balls deep, nooks, crannies, and holes, people,"
so that should clear up any confusion
on whether or not this is a Negan portion.
Also, did Negan get a fresh cut?
I'm a free man in a non-zombie world
and I can't get a haircut that fresh.
Simon simply does not pick up what Negan is throwing down.
People are a resource!
And saving them is super hard,
especially when you kill them all the time with your bat.
It makes the whole thing very tricky.
Guys, this part is about Enid and I know
thanks to the Enid card we just saw that said Enid.
And there would be no other way to deduce such a fact
other than by watching this part
of the episode and seeing it's about Enid.
Enid's excuse is not great.
She's going with, "That old lady made me kill her,"
which is the oldest excuse in the book
of excuses for killing an old lady.
Enid rolls the dice and talks shit
to the person who could kill her.
And when she doesn't get killed, she continues talking shit.
Take yes for an answer, you mopey asshole.
Aaron asks where Enid's car is with the genuine authenticity
of anyone who has ever been somewhere,
wanted to get the fuck out of there, and been like,
"Seriously, man, where the shit is your vehicle."
Wow, it's almost like nobody can promise they'll be okay
in a world where everyone is constantly not okay.
That's crazy.
Got it.
So while other sections have not
been about Simon, this one is.
Thank fucking God we have this necessary information.
Simon needs an apology, Jadis, for that haircut.
It's a fucking disgrace.
Well, golly gee whiz, Negan told Simon
not to kill everyone and Simon killed everyone.
I wonder if there will be repercussions for Simon
doing exactly the thing Negan told him not to do.
This part is about Jadis now.
Who cares?
Jadis can finally talk and Jesus Christ.
Let's go back to the way it was before, please.
I don't like this at all.
Talking about paint and canvases, hard pass.
I'd rather be annoyed by brevity
than pissed off by substance any day of the week.
Rick's plan to bend some crap and run is rock-solid.
There's no way anything can go wrong here.
Love that when Jadis tries to tag along,
Rick is just like, "Nah."
Pop, Rickie G, out.
Oh my God, Jadis is making zombie hamburger meat
out of her trash friends and this shit
is nasty, absolutely disgusting,
some of the grossest stuff we've
seen in a while, that's for sure.
It's enough to make a grown woman tired,
then suck down a giant can of applesauce.
Rick finally takes Michonne's advice
to read what his son had to write for him
by reading a completely different letter
addressed to another man entirely.
Rick takes Carl's message to heart
and tells Negan about Carl's last wishes, then says
none of that matters because he's going to kill Negan.
And when Negan tries to pump the brakes
and say something nice about Carl,
Rick doubles down on that murder shit.
And when Negan tries to talk some much needed sense
into Rick, about his actions that have resulted in death,
specifically his son that just died,
Rick triples the fuck down down and says
he's going to stab Negan in the throat with his balls.
Tune in next week!
Will Enid ever find her car?
She thinks it's somewhere in section B6, but she can
never remember and she never takes a picture when she parks.
What happened to Jadis?
Who cares?
Nobody cares.
Will Negan and Rick face off?
Not next week, or the week after that,
or the week after that, but maybe the week
after the week after that, maybe.
Who cares?
None of this and more next time on The Walking Dead.
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