- Hey, everybody.
What's up?
It's Chase.
Welcome to another episode of the Chase Jarvis Live Show
here on Creative Live.
You all know this show.
This is where I sit down with amazing people
and I do everything I can to unpack their brains
with the goal of helping you live your dreams
whether that's in career, in hobby or in life.
My guest today is a father, a husband.
You probably also know him from The Bachelorette Season 4
and the Bachelor Season 13.
My guest is the Jason Mesnick.
(instrumental rock music)
(applause)
- They love you.
- Oh thanks, man.
I don't know how that makes me amazing but whatever.
I'll take it.
That's a key word, amazing on Bachelor world.
- Oh yeah?
- People play drinking games.
- Amazing?
- Yeah, how many times a person says,
you drink every time
the Bachelor or Bachelorette says amazing
which is a lot during a show.
- I'm not in the Bachelor,
what is it called, Bachelor Nation?
- Yeah, me neither.
- Yeah, that's weird.
- Yeah.
- It's cool
but I know nothing about it
and I just, I know your personally.
- Right.
- Separate from the show.
We'll try and get into how we know one another
'cause I don't actually remember the first time we met
but maybe it was at a former filming
of one of these things.
I wanted to have you on the show for two reasons.
One, because I think you're wildly good looking (laughs).
Don't we have a,
your appearance is so much better than mine is.
- Definitely darker, I've got some Jewish in me.
- Ish. - Ish.
- Rosh Hashana, happy Rosh Hashana.
- Thank you.
- No there's two sides of a similar coin
that I want to explore
and we can go on it wherever we want to go, of course.
We're gonna cover 1,000 miles as we do in these interviews.
And you can ask me whatever you want to ask me you ask me.
- Before we started Jason was like,
I want to ask you some questions and I'm like,
alright, whatever.
- I want the mic.
- You got it, you got the mic whenever you want.
You grab it.
I think from folks at home
we got creatives, entrepreneurs,
people who are finding their way in the world
and as I said in the intro,
pursuing their passion whether that's career,
hobby or life.
And I think that folks at home
will look at someone who has celebrity,
I'll say relative celebrity
because they've been on television,
widely-known, you're recognized.
I've been out with you before,
and I think that's interesting, it's curious.
People are curious about that.
How did you get into it?
Why, what motivated you?
All that stuff, we're gonna cover that.
And then I also I think of what's fascinating
is that a couple times you have gone out for food
or coffee or beers or whatever
and what I find interesting
is that you are just like all of us.
We're all trying to build a community of people
around our passions, our hobbies,
things that are interesting to us,
in your case professional around real estate and family.
And so kind of we're all in this together.
So those are two sides to a similar coin.
And how does your celebrity affect that
positively or negatively.
And all your viewers should know,
I bugged you to sit down with you
to pick your brain about this stuff, I do, all the time.
- Man, I enjoy our time together.
I wish, we're both busy people so
I wish we had a little bit more time
but that's why this is gonna be like a giant group hug.
It's gonna be good.
And you can, you can hijack anything you want.
But I do want to start where I said we would start which is.
I'm not in the Bachelor Nation.
My wife's fanatical about it and just reality TV in general
for me as someone who's made television programs
and been on both sides of the camera
and then I know just enough about it to be dangerous
but not enough about it to talk about it
in a way that you can.
And so I, and I'm also trying to come into this
not, I did as little research
on how you got into the Bachelor as possible.
- Okay.
- And I know you and your family and your kids
and stuff like that
but how in the hell did you end up in the reality TV world?
- Just dumb really.
So I was gonna say, I was not even gonna say dumb luck,
just dumb.
(laughter)
So gosh so I went through a divorce before my son was one.
- Tye.
- Tye, before my, Tye's 13 now.
So I was flipping through the channels
and it just happened, I didn't watch the Bachelor
but I was flipping through, came on the Bachelor
and somebody that I knew, it was the last episode,
on the last episode the guy
proposes to one and rejects the other one.
He was rejecting a friend of mine.
- Oh, wow.
- And I didn't know that.
I didn't know she was on the show.
She had been moved down to San Francisco years before
and I literally right away go,
like how the hell did you end up on a reality show?
I texted her right away.
She's like, I'm in the middle of everything.
I can't tell you anything.
So I went online, literally submitted
to the Bachelor and Survivor.
I really wanted to do Survivor.
- So hey, Bachelor Nation, you were second choice (laughs).
- I mean, more than anything I wanted to be like
the next version of Rick Steves.
My goal was to be the travel guy.
- Awesome, Rick is amazing, absolutely.
- Have you talked to him?
- Yeah, oh yeah, he's a friend.
- So that was my goal,
to be the next generation of Rick Steves.
Survivor never called me back
and a full year later,
all I did was send in two sentences
and a picture of my son and I.
A full year later I get a call back
and it was before really cell phones.
I had a voicemail at home.
And it was somebody from the casting production team
and just said hey like we like your story.
Can you send us a two minute video?
And then it just took off from there.
I think the story really was about me and my son.
It was like superdad.
My son and I were in like Michael Jordan jerseys
playing dunk hoops in the backyard
and then they invited me to do initially the Bachelorette.
- Mm hmm.
- And after that, it's about a two month shoot,
and after that I got rejected on the last day
like my friend did, and they asked me.
- There's a lot of full circles here, isn't there (laughs)?
- My gosh, yeah.
Got rejected on the last day
and then literally I remember I got rejected,
I was in the limo
and (laughs) I remember sitting in the limo and I was like,
I knew she wasn't gonna pick me.
She was never gonna pick me.
I threw the ring and I was like, this is kind of dumb,
and the girl goes.
Well hold on, can we do the ring throw again?
We've gotta get that in real time, we missed.
I said, why?
They said, well they want you to be the next Bachelor
or they're thinking about you being the next Bachelor.
So they've already kind of like show-wise
they're already thinking through that kind of stuff.
They're like, we need him to get rejected, be upset
so we can send him off and be the guy.
- And then bring him back, the Prodigal Son.
- And then bring him back, yeah.
So that was, that's basically the story.
It's lasted a long time
because the following year my wife and I got married on ABC
so it was just three years of a lot of
Bachelor world, Bachelor Nation.
- Yeah so, but how in the beginning?
So you literally had no acting experience no,
and this, again, this is part of
whether you want to be on the Bachelor
or you want to be a venture-backed entrepreneur
or you want to start your own haircut business,
doesn't matter.
What I'm curious about, and I'd like you to explain is
how did you decide to go from zero to one?
You were literally sitting
on the couch flipping through channels
and then something in you was like, I want to do this.
And you said before you were passionate about travel
and maybe you wanted to be the next.
Did you think this was like a gateway drug
to the next big thing?
- No I think it really for me was out of college
I picked up my backpack,
did one of those travel around Europe by yourself trips.
- Yeah.
- And I remember thinking
that was the most free I've ever felt in my life.
So you fast forward to like, now I'm a single dad.
I can't do that anymore.
So the only thing I could think of was
something for my adrenaline rush was trying something new.
And it wasn't about being on TV really it was like,
okay, this is cool.
I'll go down to LA for a little while,
it could be a day, it could be two months.
I'll travel around, meet some cool people,
see how they make a reality show
and have some fun.
- Experience, yeah.
- It was never about meeting a girl.
I mean, like I said, I really wanted to do Survivor.
- (Laughs) That's amazing.
- Yeah, more than anything, or Amazing Race
or something like that.
- Right.
- Yeah.
- We have had Les Stroud, Survivor man,
I don't know if you know Les.
He's basically, there's Bear Grylls and Les Stroud.
Bear is more TV, Les is more like less is more.
(laughter)
Les is more hardcore like films all his own stuff.
- Yeah.
- And then there's Rick Steves who was just traveling guy.
Travel and pot guy, right?
- Yes, oh yeah.
- Pot advocate.
Anyway so, if I'm gonna replay what I heard
it was really about a sense of adventure
and trying something new.
Were you in a rut?
Were you stuck?
Was it?
Were you trying to find a way out of your current situation?
- I think part of it.
I mean, my ex-wife left me so I was like okay hold on,
how do I get myself back?
She left for a reason.
We didn't, I didn't have the future that I was imagining.
So now it's time to do something for myself.
And like one, my kids are my world
so I can't go for that long.
So how long could I go for?
Could I go for two months?
Maybe, but I'll have to see him at some point
and take care of him.
So realistically it was really just
you know, I've never lived for money by any means
and when you go on the show
they pay you a little bit but nothing more
than just your bills really
and it's really just like,
how do I become me again?
I'm going through this half your viewers
or half the people go through a divorce.
I got to get back to me.
- That's fascinating.
- And have a lot of fun.
- Yeah, that's fascinating.
And I think it's also there's just a beautiful,
I didn't know that about you
and I think that's a,
there's something beautiful about just
okay, let's throw my hat in the ring
and do something different that I otherwise wouldn't have.
Did you see yourself as a reality television star at all?
- No, I can't believe they even called me back.
- Any acting experience, any?
- I was in a play when I was eight, you know.
(laughter)
- But that's, I love that because that is
the same hurdle and maybe a different context
that so many people
who are watching this thing right now have.
You don't have to be the expert
in order to have some fun.
- You know it's funny, I'm thinking about this.
Literally I was in one play when I was eight years old
and my brothers were teasing me.
Why would you want to be in a play?
And the day before this play the other guys quit
so it was me and like 30 girls in this play.
So fast forward the Bachelor is about.
(laughter)
- Wow.
- Me.
- Again, everything is full circle.
- Full circle.
But yeah, for me I'm the type of person still,
my wife would tease me about this,
if I walk into the grocery store
and I see something new that I've never tried,
a bag of chips, a flavor, a type of cheese,
I'll buy that.
Why, cause I've never tried it before.
So no matter what it is.
Even if I'm marketing for, I'm in real estate,
if somebody else, if everybody's marketing the same way
I won't do that.
I've got to do something different.
Right or wrong, I feel like I wanna,
the excitement of trying something new
and I think you're a lot like that, too.
- Yeah, for sure.
I've been espousing the concept as creators
and as individuals, be different.
Not one or 10 or eight percent better.
The world isn't really decided on better,
it's decided on different.
That's where people put their attention
and especially as a creator.
Sure, there are, there is a quality bar
but once you're over a certain quality
it's about do you connect emotionally
and by and large that's an emotional resonance
and how do you be you?
Like you said, getting back to you.
Well let's go, this is,
I think as I said earlier,
I know just enough to be dangerous, not enough to be you
about how television is made.
I've personally made shows and
been on them
but nothing that has to do with reality.
That is not in my universe whatsoever.
And I think the folks at home
might just have a couple of questions.
And this is maybe a little bit,
I don't want to be too superficial
'cause I take this show very seriously
and I want to add real value
but I know that there's folks at home
and I would get kicked in the shins if I didn't ask,
what's it like?
Is it?
- Well first of all, it's weird.
So I will say that the first day you start filming,
so there's typically depending on the season,
there's 25 let's just say guys.
Okay, let's go, on my season there were 25 girls.
- Okay.
- They fly in 28 people to go on the show.
Three of them don't make it.
- Got it.
- Like this is, they thought they were gonna get on the show
the whole entire time
and the day of filming they're like,
you're not gonna get in the limo.
- And what if three don't show up?
- Well it's because realistically it's because
they weren't good enough for camera.
So they have gone through, when you go through this
getting on the show you go through
like a FBI private investigator background check.
You do blood testing, you do drug testing,
you do STD testing, you do psychological bubble testing.
You meet with a therapist.
So they know more about you than you know about yourself.
- Wow.
- So they may say, okay, listen, Chase, you're the guy.
As soon as the cameras turn on, we know everything about you
and then the cameras turn on and you just freeze up.
So I remember,
hopefully this is appropriate for your audience,
so this is before my first camera test, right,
and I don't know anything about.
I walk in and I sit down and I'm like,
there's a camera right in front of me.
- You know eighth grade play is what you know.
- I know eighth grade play, right?
But right before I walked out there for that first time
I'm sitting there and I'm with the casting producers.
The casting producers are like, so you're ready?
This is gonna be your camera test.
I'm like, I think so.
What am I supposed to say?
And so they said, let's loosen you up.
We'll give you a couple shots of tequila, right?
And I'm like, I get it, I know the Bachelor world, right?
That makes sense.
So they give me a couple shots of tequila
and we're sitting back and they say,
so, do you know what a fluffer is?
And I was like, no.
I didn't know what it was.
So they explain, do you know what it is?
- I do.
- So your audience, it's the person who in adult films,
in adult films the prep the man, right,
for his debut in the show.
And I didn't know that, right,
so they explain this whole thing and I'm taking shots,
my second shot I'm like.
- You're confused.
- I'm like, why are we talking about this?
- Why are you telling me this?
- And so as soon as I walk out and they sit down,
they mic me up for the first time and they said,
so hey, what were you guys talking about back there?
And I was like, oh.
So they just want to see if I'll open up.
- Got it.
- So I have to go back on camera now
and I don't know what they're doing with it
but I have to talk about a fluffer for the first time
or only time.
And so you kind of go through this whole thing.
I'm explaining what a fluffer is
and then I walk out that room
and there's literally a room of 30 production,
the owner of the show, everybody walking
watching me going, glad you explained what that was.
So they just liked the idea that you would open up.
- Yeah.
- And there are some people that might say,
I'm not gonna talk about that.
- Got it.
- And so those are, going forward,
those are the three people
that maybe they thought would be on the show
but eventually don't make it on the show.
- Is your point with this
that they're tricking you,
that it's a little bit ruthless?
Again, I'm.
- Yeah yeah.
I think it's a little bit ruthless.
There's especially
I think things may be changing now is the alcohol
I can't speak to other shows.
- Yeah. - Right.
- But the alcohol, alcohol adds a lot.
So you might be sitting down and
for dinner at a certain night and this if off camera.
They might say, okay, what do you guys want for dinner
and don't forget to put
we'll get any alcohol you guys want.
They'll bring teriyaki chicken
and they'll bring like four fifths of vodka, right?
'Cause they want you to open up
and relax and be cool
so I think there's that piece of.
- It's unknown for sure,
they're not seeing that that's.
- Yeah, and they want people to be lose and relaxed
so there's that piece.
And then there's the piece of like.
- It's kind of weird.
- Right. - Is that weird?
- Oh yeah (laughs).
- Okay, I guess you start off by saying, it's really weird.
- Then there's the other piece of like,
if we're sitting here talking about photography,
I'm interested in photography.
I just bought my first camera, I'm going on safari.
A producer would come in and say, no no no no.
Keith, Jason
you need to sit down and talk about
how many kids you want to have.
We don't care about photography.
Our audience doesn't care, sorry.
Our audience doesn't care about photography.
Our audience cares about how many kids you want to have,
where you want to live.
I remember sitting there talking about Michael Jackson,
I was a big Michael Jackson fan, still am,
and the producers come and go, no, this is dumb.
We've got to talk about kids and future
and that kind of stuff.
So you can talk about what you want.
They'll interrupt you or cut it out.
- Wow. - Yeah.
It's all about getting married, having kids, making babies.
- Programming you to align with the interest of the show.
I think that's fascinating.
So is it really, do you have a problem
with the concept of it being called reality?
Do you think it's changing since then?
- Um, I think one, yes, I think it's changing.
I remember the first person that I met
when I walked on set the very first day
was somebody from a story department.
I was like, hmm.
He's like hey, my name's Ryan, I'm in the story department.
I'm like, you're what?
Who's story are you telling?
Some of it makes sense
because they have a show arc that they have to explain
and I guess that makes sense
but realistically they know exactly what they want to tell.
- Yeah.
- They know that like Jason you're the single dad.
We want to learn a lot about you.
We want you to get hurt at some point.
You know, we want, maybe there's romance.
I don't know if we care about that.
But we want you for the next guy.
So they already see that kind of show arc
and ever single person has their own story
that they.
- Got brought in or whatever.
- Yeah, and the Bachelor or Bachelorette,
the guy or the girl, is just there to host really.
They want somebody who can have a decent conversation
with 25 different people.
- Got it.
It's amazing how manufactured it is
and I think that's part of whether,
that's why I was asking about reality
as the title of that genre.
I think well now it's unscripted of course.
It's unscripted television.
- Yeah yeah.
I really have trouble watching it now
because you know so much.
People will want to talk about it with me
and of course they do
but if they ask me if they watch it I'm like,
I just, I know too much.
- Totally.
I struggle to watch, to watch even films.
They've got to be great films 'cause I'm like,
okay, the boom's right there.
Like I can't, I'm not, I can't unproduce it
in real time
and I don't even know what's happening.
- But can you enjoy watching films though?
- If it's a great film. - Okay.
- 'Cause if I can get lost in the story.
- Is that what makes it a great film then?
- For me it is, yeah.
Story, yeah story and emotion.
Sometimes I can lose myself in an amazing character
but I think the concept of just knowing
a little bit too much
about how the sausage is made (laughs).
- I think the one question people always would ask
is when you have a bachelor
do they make you keep the crazy girls around?
And you're like, well of course.
Their theory is like, you walk into a bar
and there's 25 guys or girls or whatever your preference is
and you're gonna be attracted,
you might like two or three of 'em, right?
And so their theory is
as long as you keep your final two or three
let us play with the rest.
I remember there was one girl early on
I really wanted to keep around
and they said to me, are you gonna
are you gonna keep her long term?
And I'm like,
are you gonna marry her?
And I said well no but she's really cool.
They're like, she's not good for TV.
- Wow.
Fascinating.
Alright, so there's for all the folks.
- There's the Bachelor stuff.
- There's the superficial stuff
that I think is interesting.
Now, what I think is
what I would like to explore more deeply is
how has, again, this goes back to
what people want in life.
Whether the folks are listening or watching
I want to have my career as a
an author or I want to be a screenwriter
or I want to do whatever.
And I think sometimes it's different
than what it looks like from where you're standing today.
- Mm hmm.
- As soon as you get there you're like
I didn't know this was what I wanted.
I wonder if it is what I want and what I didn't.
And there's also I believe
a okay, once you have a certain amount of status,
be that financial status, social status,
celebrity, our culture is clearly obsessed with celebrity,
that everything just opens up.
I've talked to people that say,
oh yeah, well if I just could make a million dollars
or get my first big campaign or whatever
that everything's gonna open up.
So, I believe knowing what I know
just a little bit about you
that you had some experience of that
but I also believe that there's probably some ways
that it hasn't.
So you tell me
along the lines of what I was just,
that thread that I was just pulling on
how has it changed?
Did your world open up?
Or you said earlier, they just covered your expenses.
Of course you had other opportunities so just.
- Mm hmm.
- And I think again the goal isn't about the Bachelor here.
It's about, 'cause people at home are gonna go,
oh wow, I can apply that
even that's the Bachelor television series.
When I get there it might not be all it's cracked up to be.
So tell me about your experience with celebrity.
Did it help, hurt?
What were the upsides, the downsides
and how has it really changed you?
- Gosh, one yes it helps for sure.
And what I mean by that is
in my line of work in real estate
it's all about meeting new people.
And some people in my line of work buy people,
buy leads.
For me I can literally go into a coffee shop
and meet people
without having to work as hard
because people want to meet me.
And I think that's really cool.
That was tougher before.
Before I always put myself out there
because I always said,
you never know, I remember I had an old boss
I used to sell life insurance
and he would always say to me,
you shouldn't sit down with that person
'cause they're a bad prospect.
And I said, maybe they don't have a lot of money
and I said, I just don't ever, like who do they know?
And one, maybe they'll become a good friend.
I was always willing to sit down with anybody
who was willing to have a cup of coffee with me
and just be curious and open and.
- Yeah.
- And I still am.
I get people all the time just through LinkedIn that say,
hey, you want to grab a cup of coffee?
I'm trying to network in Seattle.
Sure.
Let's just schedule it and we'll go do it.
- Yeah, that's cool.
- So that has changed
one, kind of the business part of my life.
We do get a lot of freebies.
I mean, we still get to travel and do that kind of stuff.
- You were just on GMA last week.
- I was just on GMA last week.
But that's Good Morning America
for those of you who are international audience.
- And we had this awesome free trip to
Turks and Caicos last, like we get some of that stuff, too,
which is, we're really fortunate for that.
But I think overall,
overall it's a really good thing.
I mean, I think there are times
I remember in my business now
I was working with
a client who was looking for a house,
we were looking for about six months
and all of the sudden he stopped responding to me
over a weekend
'cause he was gonna think about a house.
And I called him up on Monday and I said,
hey, you know, what were you guys thinking about
over the weekend?
And he said, so we're gonna buy it with somebody else.
I said, well gosh, we spent a lot of time working together.
Why?
He said, I just thought you were too famous.
And I didn't know what that meant.
He said, you know, I see your face
and I see the things that you do.
And I said, I'm here 99.9% of the time.
So that happens very rarely
but I take the bad obviously with the good.
So if that's gonna happen to me once a year
or every other year, that's fine,
but it's also a learning experience for me of like,
I got to make sure that people that I know or care about
or I work with don't feel that way.
- Yeah, that's important.
So is there
this is, I want to keep pushing on this just a little bit
I think.
How about the concept of sort of making it?
And again, making it whether that's
you are on primetime television for 20 weeks
or however many it is.
Did you have a sense of like,
alright, cool I can stick a cherry on top
or I can stick the flag in the thing
or is it never over?
I think that's.
- Yeah, I know what you mean.
I don't think, for me I don't think it's ever gonna be over.
- Yeah.
- I love building and creating things.
I don't feel like I'm a creative person, maybe you are.
- What do you mean?
Yeah, you got it.
- But that's why I always ask you,
what kind of content should I do?
What's the content that I'm trying to present to people?
But I think I know,
I mean, so going from the first thought I had
coming back from the reality TV experience was,
all these people that work in the TV world
really smile a lot more than people
that are in the insurance world.
People like what they're doing.
They may not want to be,
I did learn most people that are producing
and directing reality TV don't want to be doing that.
They want to be just doing something
that they're more passionate about.
- Yeah.
They're doing this as a stepping stone
to feature films or something.
- Something like that, yeah,
but I do remember thinking people really enjoy what they do.
So I came back going,
okay now what do I love?
I didn't love selling life insurance, I knew that.
So what is it?
So I spent, gosh, a good five years
trying to build my own thing.
- Mm hmm.
- Right, and one of the things was
it was a startup in the single parent space.
That didn't work out
because it was much more of a non-profit.
And then I started a kids' footwear and apparel company
which was really cool
but I learned a lot about myself
that I was really controlling in my first business
and it was hard for my partners
and they were down in the Bay Area
and luckily it's flourishing down there now
but I'm up here with my family.
- Yeah.
- So I, and real estate was something
I was always passionate about
and it works well with my lifestyle.
My wife is, she's in morning radio.
- I think she's here on KISS, right?
- Yeah, she's here on local KISS.
She leaves every morning at 4
so I've got to be Mr. Mom every morning.
- That's amazing.
- Which I love.
I wouldn't change anything about that.
- I've seen you with your kids, you're so good.
It's fun.
- My kids are my world.
Daddy donut daughter day.
- Yeah, right?
- Donuts with daddy every Friday.
- Every Friday.
- Yeah yeah, donuts with Daddy every Friday.
So I take my daughter and sometimes her friends and whatnot.
We do donuts before school on Fridays.
- I love donuts.
- Yeah oh, who doesn't love donuts?
Oh gosh.
- So sorry to take you off track
but you feel like you were able to build your own thing.
- And I think I'll always,
like even now sitting here now
I love what I do and helping people buy and sell homes
but my mind goes,
how are people gonna do that in the future?
People know of Zillow and Redfin,
like, that's fine, but nobody's figured it out yet.
So the way my mind works now is like,
how do I
I think for example real estate lacks transparency.
I intensely dislike that.
- Yeah.
- So how do I?
So my mind right away goes,
how do I fix this world of real estate?
I don't know yet.
I want to figure it out.
I hope I do.
But I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it yet.
So that's where I'm at.
There's always gonna be something for me.
- Yeah, I think there's also,
and I'm trying to dispel a myth I think
and you're helping me just through simple stories
that it's like there isn't like
okay cool, once I do this I'm on the Bachelor
or the Bachelorette
or once I hit a million followers
or once I get that first funding check
from the venture capital
that I will have made it.
I just don't know, that's just not true.
I think that's fundamentally a myth
that popular culture at large believes.
Oh, dude, that guy's got it made
or she's figured it out.
The reality is we're all trying
to figure it out all the time.
- Yeah.
I think everybody is.
You know, you know some really interesting people
and you would know that first hand.
- For sure.
- I've got a good friend of mine
that is one of the most brilliant people that I know,
started a company called Seattle Genetics, cancer,
fights cancer.
He's got a 12 billion dollar market cap.
He's got more, his team and his money
do more than I could ever imagine.
He's just trying to build more and more.
- Yeah.
- Like he's never gonna stop.
- I think that there's two sides to the same coin.
It's like, A, there's something to learn from that
like pace yourself and.
- Yeah yeah.
- How do you continue to?
That's what I liked when you opened the show
it was just like, I love doing new things.
It's really healthy
and provides sort of a bedrock for personal growth
and development.
There's also, we got to try and nip this in the bud.
I think it creates a lot of suffering culturally.
If I could just get fill in the blank
then I will be happy.
I think what is, what I'm hearing from your story
and what I want to emphasize is,
gratitude and joy with what you have creates happiness.
Happiness is not a thing that you get
and then you're happy.
- No, I think that's a very interesting point.
There's a couple people in my work world right now
that are going through some health stuff.
- Yeah.
- And even today something came up
and he responded to me, he said, just love your family.
And he's very successful in his work world.
So you can have all of this stuff
in your work world
but just remember what truly makes you happy.
I always wondered,
fast forward to when you're on your death bed, right?
What are you going to think about it?
What is it?
My guess is it's not gonna be
a house or a car or something like that.
It's gonna be your loved ones.
- Mm hmm.
- Right?
Or maybe the impact you had in the world,
something like that.
- For sure.
- And I don't, I think they've actually done
a lot of studies that say,
what do you care about in your final moments?
And I don't think anyone ever said,
I really wish I worked a lot more.
- Uh huh.
- I don't think.
- That Ferrari was sweet.
(laughter)
- Yeah, so let's go back to a point we talked about earlier
about being different, not just better.
Again, I'm using the lens of the show
which is a lens that very few people,
.00001% of the population gets,
but that's part of the reason I think it's fascinating
but I'm inspired by people who go against the grain,
who do things a little bit differently.
- Mm hmm.
- Again, I know this second hand
and I remember the fervor when it happened
but you did something that had never been done
on the Bachelor before, right?
You were gonna marry somebody
and then you basically rescinded the offer (laughs).
- Yeah, that's a nice way to say it (laughs).
- So was that,
and again, this is, again we're using the show
to think about a larger concept but
was that like,
was this your move to be different not better?
Or was it you were following
what everybody else wanted
because this is a really popular theme
for people on the show,
doing what everybody else wanted you to do
and then at the end you listened to what was truly
in your heart and you did something different?
Give me your view of your decision process in that moment.
- So if I went back to
that experience I knew at that moment
I thought I was picking the right person, alright?
- Oh you did, okay, yeah.
- But I'd never wanted to propose.
So the show ends in here's the ring
and we're gonna get engaged
when you really don't know the person very well.
So I remember a couple days before the end
I said to everybody, I'm not proposing.
It's just not, I've got a son,
we've got to get to know each other.
Let's take this to the real world real quick.
And I remember the owner of the show comes down to me
and he said,
we've tried that before and that's not how it works.
And I was like, oh.
Show-wise or real world?
He just was not gonna allow
me to end his show the way I wanted it to
right meaning, hey, we're gonna date outside the show.
- Yeah.
- Fast forward a couple months I was right, for me,
that the relationship wasn't what I was hoping
and her and I both,
she had somebody back home and I wanted to see
if the other girl, Molly, now my wife,
was gonna be a good fit for me.
Kind of just going through that step
I knew, this is one of my biggest learning lessons,
I knew I shouldn't have done it.
Could they have stopped me?
I probably could have done it.
They didn't let me think I could do it.
The manipulation part was, we don't allow that,
but how are they gonna stop me if I said,
I'm not gonna propose.
So I go to my gut was right, right?
When I don't listen to,
and I think we all have those internal.
- This is beautiful, I love this.
- Listen, and I didn't listen to myself.
So that was the biggest thing.
And so then I fast forward to
there were two, from this experience
there were two of the most meaningful lessons
for me to learn.
So that was the first.
The second was, okay, so
you want to talk to Molly, now my wife,
you can't do that unless you do it on screen, right,
and ask her out.
I was like, well what do you mean?
Well, you've signed a contract that says,
if you talk to somebody we don't allow it's a five million,
there's five million dollars over your head.
I don't have five million dollars.
What's gonna happen?
So they said, we've already asked her to be the next girl,
the Bachelorette, so if you want to do it
you've got to do it on our terms
and we're gonna create a whole special show around it.
So my gut said, this is wrong, right?
I can't go on TV and,
it's gonna look bad for me,
it's gonna look bad for this girl,
let's just, we'll do this later.
But I listened to them again,
and luckily it worked out because I got married
but it was a really thing for a lot of us involved.
It was just very negative.
It was great for the show, right?
But it was me again for the second time saying
okay, this is not right.
This doesn't feel good for me.
Let's do, it should have been done
away from cameras and what not.
So I think the biggest lessons for me
from that whole show TV thing was,
I know the difference from right and wrong.
- Yeah.
- I did the show so I think part of what
the reason that I would say I went and did,
went through with it with Molly in the second place
was I'm not gonna let anybody stand in my way.
I've got to do, I've got to do what I've got to do.
I wish it wasn't on TV
but if you're gonna tell me, I can't go after somebody
that I'm interested in because I met her on the show
and that's not the way things go,
that's not okay.
- And five million dollars and yeah yeah.
- Yeah, but at the end of the day
the reason I went on the show
was because, you know,
I kind of go at my own drummer, right?
The reason why I backpacked,
there are people that backpack around Europe
but I think most people are the same way.
They're like, I'm gonna meet people
when I want to meet people.
I'm gonna go to a youth hostel and meet interesting people
and for me that's why I went on the show
and that's why in turn
it didn't work out with the other girl Melissa
and that's why I asked Molly out
because I'm just gonna do it.
You've got one life.
- Yeah.
- The worst somebody's gonna say is no.
- Yeah.
- And people have said that a lot to me in my life
so I'm okay with that.
- Right, you get used to it.
So I'm gonna reference a conversation
I had with someone else who has been on the show,
one of the most famous designers in the world,
a guy called Stefan Stagmeister.
He tells a great story of
he was just building his design business
yet he was burning out and he decided
that he needed to take a year off
and pursue personal projects and passion projects.
And he was wickedly afraid
that he was gonna lose all his clients,
like I just built this, I got this studio
and I got all these clients
and everything's going great
but I know inside if I don't take this year off
it's gonna be really bad.
And I need to find a way to rejuvenate
otherwise I'm not gonna have any clients anyway.
So he describes feeling that this thing
was gonna destroy his career
and what he did is just leaned into 'em and said,
he look, this is who I am
and I decided every seven years
I'm gonna take a year off
and this is my seventh year so, see ya, everybody.
I'll see ya when I get back.
And what it did is he actually became known
as that crazy ass designer
who every seven years just says,
I don't care what I'm working on right now.
I'm just gonna like,
and so the thing that he was most afraid of
or that was hardest
or the thing where he was the most different
and everybody told him that this was gonna be
disastrous for him
was actually the thing that made him well-known
and when he came back
everybody wanted to make sure they got to work with him.
- Interesting.
- When he was available.
In a weird way I'm drawing a parallel
between Sagmeister and you
'cause there's a lot of
Bachelors out there
and Bachelor number four is a lot like like six
is a lot like nine and 13
but you're the dude who broke the whole system.
- Yeah.
I just wouldn't be afraid.
I know there is fear of rejection,
like fear of rejection, I'm not just talking relationships.
It's at work life.
For me, fear of rejection in work sucks
'cause that means they don't like me or they don't trust me
or something along those lines.
But don't be afraid.
That's the biggest thing I think that I've learned
through my life is like,
if it's not life or death, which I hope it's not,
that's something different.
- Yeah.
- Go for it.
I was almost having this exact same conversation,
my daughter started kindergarten three days ago.
- Oh, congratulations.
- And she was just like super nervous.
She's like, I don't know, I'm nervous.
I'm like you know what, everybody's nervous
but just smile, be the girl that waves and smiles.
She goes okay okay.
- I can do that.
- And that's the same mindset I have,
if people remember me as like the hi smiley, that's cool.
- Yeah.
- That's not the worst thing in the world.
But having that same thought of like,
everybody gets nervous, everybody.
- I'd say Riley just have two shots of tequila.
- Yeah yeah (laughs) yeah right.
And talk about cotton candy (laughs).
- So how did you, you just said,
it's very helpful advice I think
especially going through what you've gone through
with the show and lots of career success since then,
what is the tactics that you use
to just not be afraid?
'Cause right now there's someone
sitting in their underwear in Ohio
listening to the show.
- I'm from Ohio.
- There you go.
- What what.
- But they're saying like, yeah but dude,
saying just don't be afraid that's like saying
always be happy.
- Yeah.
- What have you, deconstruct your own habits.
What have you done to
to manage fear?
- Oh gosh.
I'm trying to, you know what,
and I probably go back to
some of my lessons learned from going
going through my divorce, not even the Bachelor.
I remember thinking how bad that hurt.
I've been through something that hurt really bad
and I think we all have.
People have gone through, it doesn't have to be divorce,
whatever it is.
In whatever rejection that you're fearing,
this is my mindset, whatever rejection that you're fearing
is not as bad as that.
I can go through my worst, not physical pain,
emotional pain.
- Yeah.
- It's not gonna be as bad as that.
'Cause I've been through something that hurt so bad.
And whatever it is, if you're
if you're fearing,
to me it's rejection or not being trusted again.
- Yeah.
- It's not as bad as the other thing
you already, you've already gone through worse.
- Wow.
- That's how I think about it.
It's not gonna hurt as bad as that.
- Wow so
what about, let's talk about
let's start to flip that script
that we talked about at the beginning of the show.
Okay cool, there's the Bachelor side of you,
the lessons I think for what it's worth
just recapping the lesson of
well A, just trying new things and all that
I think that's incredible
but being attune to your gut.
- Yeah, that's a big one for me.
- That's huge, I think that's huge.
Everyone who's sat in this chair on this show
has basically said, the world was telling me this and that
and I got 50 ideas from everybody
who's supposed to be way smarter and way better and whatever
and I did the thing that was against them
and I'm totally happy I had this experience
and it just has blown me up every time.
- Yeah.
- So there's this thing, I think that's beautiful
so thank you for saying that.
Now let's flip that script to the other side
and when I opened the show
I said we were gonna talk about and now.
Jason, he's just like us.
You want to build a community
around the thing that you care about and
you don't have it all figured out, do you?
- No way.
That's why I'm here today.
(laughter)
- Yeah, when the cameras turn off
we're gonna do some social media coaching,
we're gonna, we're gonna record some PSAs
for him and his audience and no.
- And I, I go back to it,
I've got a fear of doing the wrong thing.
- Yeah.
- I haven't done
all the things that I want to do in
I would say more in the social, creative,
photo video world to tell the story.
So like I said, one of the the things
that frustrates me a lot about the business I'm in
with real estate is the lack of transparency.
- Yeah.
- And you and I have talked about that.
- Mm hmm.
- I want to tell that.
I want, I want to be,
I want people to look at me I trust you so much
because you're telling me how to.
Like, I'll tell you how to do it.
- Yeah.
- You want to sell a house on your own?
I'm gonna teach you how to do that.
I haven't done that.
Why haven't I
jumped forward?
- We've got three cameras here.
We can, we could film this.
We got three, we got it, we'll do that.
- But I mean, I haven't done it
and I ask myself a lot,
so part of it's time.
When I
my priorities in life always come to my kids first
so I will drop anything I'm doing for work, right,
for my kids.
So I could blame it on that but I still have more time.
And I
I put my clients right up the top with me,
so it's probably the kids and my wife
and my clients.
And so those take up most of my time.
I just don't make enough time to do that.
Why not?
It's important to me.
- Yeah.
- But I still haven't, so I haven't figured it out
and I still haven't done some of the stuff.
I've tried and I've failed a lot
on some of the video projects I've worked on.
I watch 'em going,
I'll rewatch some of my video projects that I do on my own
and wonder, who would ever watch this stuff?
It's so bad.
(laughter)
And they're so bad, like bad content, bad editing,
bad hair and makeup, bad everything.
- We're gonna fix this.
We're gonna fix it.
- Let's fix it now.
- And I'm sure there's someone out there who's listening
who maybe could reach out and give you a little help
if you wanted.
I'm always here for you, man.
But I think that just on the concept of
that you're, again someone of relative celebrity,
you're supposed to have it all figured out.
You're just like us trying to figure it out
and building something from scratch.
- Mm hmm.
- Basically from scratch
and you've got, you've been able to leverage a lot
like you said relationships
and people will come up to you
and if real estate's about meeting people
all of those are great things
but at the end of the day
there are still things equal work
that you're not doing to get it done
and so everyone at home you can just rest easy.
- Right.
- Jason's just like you.
- Yeah.
We're all trying to figure it out.
Like you, you've built this really cool company, right?
- Here I am.
Look at the dark circles under my eyes.
I'm just trying to figure it out.
- Yeah.
- I am, I'm just trying to figure out.
- And the last thing, that's one of the things
that I'm most passionate about the show is like
if anybody learns anything from this it's just like
we're all trying to figure out.
No one has this system.
Nothing is for sure.
Nothing is like,
whatever is on rails is only on rails temporarily.
There's no such thing as perfection.
Someone the other day was like,
this will resonate with you in the real estate world,
like oh, Seattle's getting too big and (grumbles).
Okay, how about Tuscaloosa?
Or Detroit or?
There's no such thing that's the perfect thing.
You're either growing or you're dying
and I'd rather be growing personally
so let's try and find a way to make Seattle work.
Same personally.
If you're pursuing something that you're passionate about
and you're growing,
and that's what I love about the second arc of your career,
I think you still do a good job of tying back
to the Bachelor.
Like you said, you were on Good Morning America last week.
- Mm hmm.
- You still have a toe in that world
which is, I don't know if it's fun or playful
or you don't get that much out of the obstacle course.
Did we talk about that?
Or was that before the cameras were rolling?
- The obstacle course, yeah.
Well I'll explain why I was in New York, right?
So they were introducing next year's new Bachelor.
He invited my wife and I and a few people saying,
hey, we're gonna do this,
we're gonna introduce the new guy
and we're gonna do an obstacle course.
I said oh, interesting.
- Sounds fun, I like obstacles.
- Yeah, I like New York, I like obstacles
and we'll go to New York and we'll have some fun.
Most of it, too, is like I get my friends
and my clients get a kick out of when I
'cause it was 10 years ago.
I was on the Bachelor before HD, before this.
It was really grainy.
So we get there and it's like,
okay, so here's the obstacle.
Molly, put a bat on the ground and spin around
until you get dizzy.
Put on a tutu, hand Jason a rose.
Jason hands somebody else a rose
and he's got to dig through the cake
to find a giant diamond ring.
And that was the obstacle course.
It was literally like 45 seconds.
And I had like
usually people are like, oh, I saw you,
you did this really cool thing.
And three people at the gym said to me,
I saw you, that was really dumb.
And I said, but I remember flying back
sitting next to my wife on the plane
'cause we were in New York for literally 13 hours
her saying, that was the dumbest thing I've ever done.
Thanks a lot for making me go.
- Now.
- But I do, and I would probably go again
so this goes back to the backpacking thing.
Whatever, I'm gonna make do,
I'm gonna waste some time.
I'll meet somebody who's interesting.
I met a couple interesting people there, you know?
- Yeah.
What I love about.
- But it was really dumb.
- I think you guys are, you've done such a nice job
with taking it playfully.
You got what you got out of it.
You found each other, I think that's an amazing story
that the country clearly connected with,
but you also look on your social profiles
you guys are sort of tongue in cheek about it.
- Yeah.
- But what season was that again?
'Cause I don't know we came back and.
You're just playful around it so I like that.
Let's go back to what you're building now.
You're trying to figure it out, right?
- Mm hmm.
- So you liked the fact that
or you acknowledge that real estate sucks
and so you're trying to
because of the transparency, lack of transparency
and so that's a thing that you feel like.
- I think it's such,
like real estate is such an important thing for,
not for everybody, but for so many people
it's a dream of owning something and
- It's the most valuable asset in most anyone's life.
- And it could build wealth, too.
But I think the buying and selling process
is so covered up by so many people
and some people maybe you feel like you're paying too much
for what you're getting
or maybe you're
you're overpaying for a house
that you could have paid less for, right?
And there's such a lack of
walking people through the process.
And let's just say hey, I don't want to pay for this shit.
Will you teach me how to do it?
Sure.
If you really want to do it on your own
what's, what's the one thing I could offer to you?
I would do that for people.
There are people that don't have time to do that
or the knowledge or
I've got clients that have three kids
and both parents work and
how do you get your house ready
when you're doing all this stuff?
Of course, that's where I can add a ton of value
but if I can add a ton of value
for those people who need me
but I can also add value for people
that are sitting behind the camera like
that really want to do it themselves
and save a few thousand bucks, I'll do that, too.
But then it goes to like
the whole buying and selling process.
Why can't I do it by myself?
Or can't somebody just help me a little bit
and coach me along the way?
I'm happy to do that.
- I think that's a great,
we've said this and now we're getting
into our last coffee.
- I'm sorry.
- No it's great, it's our last coffee date.
You were like, what story?
I got to, I don't have any stories.
To me this is the best story.
You're telling it right now.
Why don't you say, here's the 10 things
to do to sell a.
Let's help you right now.
We're coaching, now I'm coaching Jason Mesnick on
how to story tell on social media world in 2018.
- And I'm not good at social media.
- Yes you are.
- Daddy daughter donut day.
- Yeah, I can take a picture and.
- Hey (click).
Man, my wife likes it.
She could sit back and do social media.
She could flip between Facebook, Instagram,
whatever it is, Snapchat, all day long.
And I sit back and go, you know what,
I've been on my phone all day long.
I don't want to do that.
- It's not for everybody.
- Yeah.
But I need to do more of it.
I think that's my thing.
- Well that's part of why I'm sort of sticking
on this thing.
I think it's, that there are things
that we're all striving for
and trying to get better at
and we want to tell better stories.
How important is it gonna be
to the next chapter of success for you?
- Be hugely important.
It's number
is it, it's I think it's number one for me, right?
My business is fine, right?
I could support my family in the way I want to
with what I'm doing now
but if I want to build something really cool
that nobody else has done before I got to do that.
- And that is you have to tell stories.
- I have to tell stories and go with my gut,
so going with my gut and telling the right stories.
- And you know this.
- I know this.
I know it (laughs) yeah.
- You know this but.
- So I'm sitting behind the camera in my underwear
in Ohio.
- From Ohio.
- From Ohio, not in Ohio.
(laughter)
I love it.
Well, alright let's just play
just a this is I like to play a little thing
I call speed round.
- Okay.
- Just random, I don't want to put too much pressure.
It's like, you don't have to actually answer quickly.
- Okay.
- You can think.
But it's it's just things that you like.
- Okay.
- And there's no wrong answer.
I hate when I'm asked like,
what's the best book you've ever read.
I instantly freeze, like best?
Like literally the best?
I've read 1,000 books.
How am I gonna find the best?
The best when I was 18 or the?
Whatever, you get it.
So feel no pressure, but I think this is to me
just a fun way of revealing some things about my guests.
Morning routine.
Super short, don't overthink it.
What does it look like?
- Wake up early before my kids get up,
try to work out.
If they wake up while I'm trying to work out, can that.
Hang out with them, get 'em off to school
then go work out.
- Then go work out.
- Yeah, and I do work in between that.
In real estate I'm always kind of in between
by checking email and all that kind of stuff, too.
- Got it.
Night routine.
- Um, gosh,
hang out with my kids, get some work done,
try to spend some time with my wife.
- Do you guys always eat in 'cause you got kids?
- Uh yeah we always do.
We eat early, too.
So most people eat at 7, we eat at like 5:45.
- Wow.
Well you've got some younger kids, right?
- Yeah, the little ones have to eat,
especially now with her in school and what not
she's got to be up getting ready for bed 7:30.
- Clearly stay fit.
You mentioned working out twice.
What's your workout?
- Depends, if I'm at home it's
I've got a treadmill and some light weights
and then I'll have an app that I just follow.
If I can get to the gym.
- What app?
- It's the beach body whatever.
They've got a million workouts.
- P90X.
- Well I don't do that, I've done that before
but it's the same company who does that.
- Oh okay.
- So you can just pick a tamed down version of that.
- Got it.
- I do in the last couple months
have been going to Orangetheory a lot.
- Interesting.
- So I've been, it literally it just changed
this week because my daughter's going to school now
it's not.
Now it's like I can't go to Orangetheory as much.
- Got it.
- So now it's much more at home.
- Any mindfulness, meditation, prayer, visualization?
What's your mental game?
- No prayer for me but I do have a Headspace app.
- Yeah.
- And I take 10 minutes every morning.
Sorry, forgot that part.
- Yean no it's cool.
- Take 10 minutes and just like
sometimes I sit up, sometimes I lay down.
- Before the kids are up?
- Yes.
I try to get up hour, hour and a half
before the kids get up.
- So what is that?
What time is that?
- Depending on, 5, 5:30.
- Okay. - Yeah.
I try to give myself if I can,
I usually think the kids are up by 6:30,
sometimes they're up earlier,
hour, hour and a half on my own.
- Great.
- Just to be me.
- When you say just to be me does that?
- Yeah it's just like,
I've got, I have my Kindle out.
So I don't always read.
I think I will read but sometimes in the morning
I don't want to read.
- Yeah.
- But it's mindfulness app, reading if I can,
working out if I can
and getting some work done before the kids get up.
- And then night routine you talked about.
Do you have any sleep aids that you use
or are you a good sleeper, not a good sleeper.
- I'm a fine sleeper now but I went,
when I went through my divorce
I took like sleeping aids for two or three years.
- Wow.
- Whatever it was, over the counter stuff.
- Yeah.
- So I cut all that out and now it's just
sleep when I can.
- And let's talk about
your relationships so your relationship with Molly.
You have two kids,
one from a previous marriage.
Riley is the one you share together,
new member of the family.
Tye still lives at home?
- He's with us half the time.
- Half the time? - Yep.
- Got it.
And how do you guys, do you guys get some time alone?
Do you guys?
- That's probably the hardest thing.
And I do, I remember Molly said that
when we first met before Riley was born
it was like, you put everything into your kids.
And I'm like no I just can't,
I don't know how not to.
- Yeah.
- But Molly and I probably could,
I would say probably could do more for ourselves.
We don't go out on dates as much as we should.
Probably go out once a month on a date.
We do a ton of stuff with friends.
Molly loves hosting so we always have neighbors over,
it's mostly the kids parents of,
we've become that Molly loves to host everything.
- Got it.
- So we always have friends over
so that's probably more of what we do.
- Travel?
- Not as much as I'd like.
I could travel somewhere,
I could go, if I could fit in Rick Steve's backpack
I would go still.
- I should introduce you guys.
- Oh God I would.
- He's great.
- I would, that was my dream.
I said, you know he's cool for a certain demographic.
I even did some of the backdoor stuff
when I would travel.
But could I be the next generation?
- You should, that's there for you.
He's great, I'll just tell you a small side story.
So I'm on a shoot
shooting for this, this sounds,
whatever, this yacht company,
and we chartered, this is in Iceland
and chartered this gargantuan yacht
and we're, I don't know it's probably 90 feet long
or something like this
and just flying around in helicopter
shooting this thing,
come back into this harbor here in Reykjavik
and I'd landed, got on the, got on the boat
for this last scene when we're right by the dock
and I'm taking a picture and I hear,
is that Chase Jarvis?
And I turn around and the dock's 20 feet from us
and it's him and his, I think then girlfriend or wife
and his producer and they had just come from
shooting a segment in Reykjavik
and they had chartered this for the last scene of
the last scene of the show.
So I turn around,
wow, I haven't seen you guys in a long time.
So we had a nice little visit in Iceland not so long ago.
- Does he travel with a big group?
What's his?
- It seemed like it was three people, four people?
- I figured it's light, yeah.
- Light and fast.
I think that's part of his deal
is he wants to sort of fit in, you know?
- Yeah.
- Okay, that was travel.
How about
like next thing that you're not doing
besides the social stuff, the storytelling.
What are you not doing that you think you should be
or you want to?
- Gosh, what am I not doing?
I think it's travel.
- Yeah.
- You know, it's not things for me.
I don't care about, my house is fine and
car, all that stuff, all the things are fine
but I would love to help my kids see the world more.
So my son went, it was his idea,
a school trip to Ecuador last year
and he's like, I really want to do that?
I was like really, I was like why?
I don't know, sounds cool.
And so he's starting to think that way
but for me I would love to,
it doesn't have to be super educational,
it's just more cultural I think
start showing my kids
and letting them experience different cultures in the world
and that type of thing.
That's what I think I'd love for my family.
- Something, well you're a very public person.
You've had your life basically unpacked on television.
What's something about you that people would be surprised
to find out?
- Surprised?
- Like I know that you love donuts, for example.
- Yeah (Laughs).
- I know that you love donuts but
I mean, maybe there's something else
that's a little more substantial than donuts.
- Oh gosh, would people surprised.
- Be like, I have no idea.
- Gosh, I don't even think it's anything that I do.
- It doesn't have to be.
- But it's more of like
when I, I go back, there's a photo I think about
that when I was little I had a lazy eye.
- Okay.
- So the eye crossed in and I had a patch to correct it.
And so I think about that
and I think about little kids that are wearing glasses now
but that picture, there was one picture of me taken,
I had this lazy eye
with this patch on, I was four years old
and I had this superman, remember underoos?
- Oh of course.
- My superman underoos and preschool picture
and every time I would get, if I was dating somebody
I was growing up or a girl that I liked would come over
my brothers would tack it up all around the house.
But I was just like, when I think about
people think of me as like this Bachelor guy
that was able to date, do all these things.
I was, wore these giant glasses, had braces,
big space in my teeth.
Just be.
- It doesn't matter..
- It doesn't matter.
- None of that matters.
- Awesome, it's kind of a weird place to end.
- Yeah I don't know if that,
that doesn't really like.
I don't, I am who I am.
I don't feel like I.
I can't think of anything that people really don't grasp
of who I am.
I feel like I'm very transparent.
- I'll go with a friend Tim Ferriss.
- He's got a great podcast.
- He was just on this show
on Creative Live on Monday.
- What day is today, Tuesday?
- Yeah, was that yesterday?
Dang, that was yesterday.
That feels like a long time ago.
And he's got a question he loves to ask on his show
and I'll just ask it right now because it's appropriate.
So if you could put something on a billboard
to make sure that everybody saw
what would be on that billboard?
- About more or about anything?
- Anything.
- Carpe diem.
Like I'd never, I don't have a tattoo
and the only tattoo I could imagine myself getting
is something about my kids or that.
You got one life.
Don't be afraid.
- I love the stuff on fear, man.
I think that's so powerful.
It's so
we find that we live in this sort of prison
of our own making.
- Yeah,
it's just in our head.
- Yeah, it's all, 99% of it's in our head.
It's all a mindset.
- Yeah.
- Do you have any besides Headspace,
do you have any like mindset
visualization stuff that you're.
- I mean, I've done, I've read about
read about that kind of stuff, too,
and sometimes I'll start projects
that will get me working on affirmations
and that kind of stuff.
- It's hard to get it to stick.
- It's hard to make it stick.
Like I even remember some of my mom
had some of that stuff up,
like yellow stickies on her mirror and stuff
when I was a kid
so maybe I learned some of it from her.
But I don't.
It's really just wake up and just.
Especially as you have kids
and as I'm coming across people in life that are ill,
it's like, you got your life, live it.
Don't stop.
It can be scary but we've all lived through something
that's probably scarier.
- That's also really prescient advice.
Nine out of 10 things you're gonna do
that are scaring your right now
are not nearly as scary
as the thing that you've already done.
- Yeah.
Awesome.
Alright man, now we're gonna end this episode
and we're gonna go give Jason some storytelling keys
for his business.
(laughter)
Thanks so much for being on the show.
- Thanks, man. - Really appreciate it.
And for those of you,
what's the best way for them to follow you on the internet?
Are you just @jasonmesnick?
- Yeah, @jasonmesnick.
Websites and all of, Twitter's @jason_mesnick.
The rest are @jasonmesnick.
I've got a website, too.
You can pop by jasonmesnick.com.
- Is that more work or more personal life?
- It's both.
I do a little bit of both.
My work world, that's the thing about
my work world and my personal world just collide.
- Awesome.
- Which I like.
- Same here.
Alright everybody, signing off for another episode.
Super glad to have you on the show, man.
- Thanks, man.
- Thanks, man for being out here.
And for everybody at home,
I'll see you again hopefully.
Actually see you and here ya
or you can meet again hopefully tomorrow.
Thanks, everybody.
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