♪ They fly so high.. ♪
- Hello, my name is Jeff Goldblum.
And here you see me sitting in our beautiful home.
Uh, austensibly,
my home,
it's, uh,
to be honest,
not my home.
But it could be my home.
This is going to be the most exciting day of my life ever.
What we're doing today is focusing on
food.
F-food.
I'm going to get some lessons in
and have an experience with maybe the finest
thinker about food in the world.
And then we eat.
Yeah, oh yeah, I haven't cooked.
I know nothing about, I don't know much
about cooking at all.
Anyway, we'll cook.
(jazz music)
Ahhhh.
Oh my gosh.
It's like coming into a football stadium or
something like that.
It's the same feeling of wonder and spectacle.
So, here we are.
When getting groceries, you've gotta,
you can't carry them out like this, you have to
have a container to put them in.
Now, so you're faced with choice at a moment
like this.
Do you want a big cart or do you want a basket?
Even if you think, I'll pick up one or two things,
this is the way to go.
I'm not a germophobe.
In any case, let's touch it.
And here we go.
Let's go.
We're at the pasta aisle.
Ahhhh! Rigitoni, of course, is the tubes.
Mmmmmmm. I love a nice tube.
Ohhhh, that's it! A Cavatappi.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Ahhh.
I feel like Magellan.
Much of the explored world
happened because
people were looking for spices.
You'd risk the lives of
generations of sailors
because our food is too bland.
Is that what happened?
Maybe I'm foggy about history, but, I could be.
I could be.
Look at that, look at that.
It's the Turkish Bay Leaf.
Woodsy and fragrant.
That's the name of my two sons.
True or False?
There's Woodsy?
Fragrant?
Yeah, time for dinner.
Woodsy,
quit hitting Fragrant.
True or false?
No, it's false.
- (Chris) Hope you enjoy that.
Hey, how you doing today?
- How are you?
- Hi, my name is Chris.
- Chris, Jeff
- How you doing?
- Goldblum, how are you?
- Good.
- Now, you're the cheese monger.
- The cheese master, actually.
- Cheese what?
- Master.
- Master? - Yes.
- What's the difference between a cheese master
and a cheese monger?
- I run the department here.
- Oh, so you worked your way up.
You started as a cheese monger, as a monger alone.
And what is a cheese monger?
My ear hears monger like, hey, he's a gossip monger.
Right?
Which means a purveyor of something...
- Well, in general, I'm a purveyor of cheese, so..,
- Purveyor of cheese, so, cheese monger, yeah.
But, anyway, you've graduated from monger
and now you're the master.
I'm in that movie "Thor" right now,
do you know what the name of my character is?
- I do not actually.
I haven't seen it yet.
- Grand Master.
- Oh.
- By the way, is that hat,
only the master wears the hat?
- No, Murray's encourages individuality.
Much like each cheese has
it's own kind of personality.
Each cheese monger and cheese master
has their own personality.
- If I were a cheese, what would I be?
What do you think?
- Um, I'd probably say, a nice Swiss.
- Really?
I'd be a Swiss?
Why?
- Nice and bold with a lot of lingering flavor to it.
- So, that's what your impression is of me?
Bold with lingering flavor.
- Mm-hmm
- Sounds like it could be good, or could be bad,
depending on the flavor.
What kind of cheese would you be?
- A nice American cheese.
Sort of mild
and a bit gooey on the inside.
- Really?
- Because you're romantical and sensitive.
But American and mild.
- That's so sweet, that's so sweet.
For today's recipe, I see that I need a parmesan cheese.
- This is Parmigiano-Reggiano.
This is the king of cheese.
- This has been the most fun conversation I've ever had
in my whole life.
It's so lovely to meet you. - Thank you.
- Can I give you a hug? - Sure!
- Really?
- Can I give you a stronger hug?
Thank you. You are gooey on the inside after all.
Look at that.
So nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- I'm putting this in my cart.
And I'll think of you while we cook with this
and eat it tonight.
(jazz music)
- We're done, we've got to check out now.
We got it, we got it.
(jazz music)
Without further adieu, the main course of this
little harlequinade, is our mystery guest.
And I can reveal to you know that he is
the one and the only, Jonathan Gold.
Jonathan, can you please join me?
- So nice to see you.
- So nice to see you.
Should we start?
I want to introduce our lovely audience to you, too.
So, I'm going to use my phone, if that's not too gauche.
But, look at this.
I'm sure you've seen this.
Jonathan Gold currently writes for the Los Angeles Times.
I love the Los Angeles Times.
It says here on my Wikipedia, Jonathan Gold often
chooses a small ethnic restaurants for his reviews.
Although he covers all types of cuisine.
And if you haven't seen the documentary, City of Gold,
I just adore it.
It's so, you're so wonderful and it's well done.
Should I, this is short.
Any way..
- You don't have to keep going.
- Anyway, let's get to the Pulitzer Prize part.
You're the only writer about food whose ever won a
Pulitzer Prize, and the way you write, is so
beautiful.
- Thanks.
- In any case, I don't want to embarrass you.
Look at this, so you chose this thing we're going to make.
Tell us why you chose it and what it is.
- It's a French dish called, Soup Opus Stew.
It's pretty much the Southern French equivalent of
Minestone.
- Should we start doing something?
- Let's do something.
Do we have, oh our water's not boiling, but soon it will.
(jazz music)
So we're going to take the bouquet garni, which is some
thyme, bay leaf, leek leaf,
which is good, and then celery top.
Put it in there, it flavors the water.
So, should we peel potatoes?
- Oh boy, be careful.
Be careful.
Should I venture into this?
- If you want to.
- Well, sure, I don't want to feel
just like a bystander.
- When I fancied myself sort of a performance artist,
I would take potatoes and put stamps
and address labels on them.
Then I would mail them to people to
see if they would get there.
- Wow.
I may try that this afternoon.
(jazz music)
When I put my strawberries in the smoothie,
should I take off the green part?
- Uh, yes.
- I should?
I haven't been.
- How do they taste?
- Ah, fine.
(jazz music)
You write about food so beautifully,
You're a poet.
Do you write poetry, too?
- I used to write poems about food that were put up
on the bulletin board of my school.
- I'm glad I asked.
Do you remember any of them, by any chance?
- I do not remember any of them.
- Do you dream?
Do you dream about food, may I ask?
- I sometimes dream about food.
- Really?
- I don't remember faces, that's one of my problems,
but I can remember a soup that I had 25 years ago
and whether it used chervil or marjoram.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- You don't remember faces?
- No.
- You know this joke?
Two old Jewish guys are sitting around.
One says, hey, these days I'm getting quite old.
I don't remember faces.
I remember names, but I don't remember faces.
The next guy says, well I'm just the opposite,
I remember faces, and I can't remember names.
The third guy says, I'm as old as you guys, but
knock on wood I remember names, (knock, knock),
I remember faces, (knock, knock), come in.
That's the joke, you get it?
- Yeah.
- Did I do it poorly?
- No, that was perfect.
- It just wasn't funny.
- It was good.
- It was?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
And that's from a, you're a critic.
- Not a joke critic.
- Yeah, but one kind of criticism is adjacent to
another.
- Very good.
- Okay, thank you very much.
(jazz music)
I wanna pour these in here?
- Yeah.
- Haha! I'm cooking now!
I'm really cooking!
- Okay, can you stir it in?
- Ooh, I like to stir the pot.
(jazz music)
I love when you say in that documentary that cooking
separates us from the other species.
Nobody else cooks.
- Right!
- So we're centrally human when we cook.
But this is the joy of cooking because, while you're
cooking, they say you're relaxing or otherwise
connection making, right?
- Yeah.
- With yourself and with others.
- I mean, for me, there's nothing that's more important
or more of a joy than sitting down to a meal with my
family.
(jazz music)
- How's this pesto look?
- Magnificent.
You've done a good job.
- Look at me, I'm a chef.
I'm officially now the monger and you're the Master.
That's the name of our show.
- Monger and the Master.
I like it.
- Well, the Master and the Monger, I think.
You get top billing
So there we go.
So what does that leave now?
- Here's the ladel, let's have some.
Now, if you eat the soup like this, right now,
it's going to be bland.
- Bland.
But luckily, we have the pesto you've
been laboring on.
So, you put that into the soup.
- Yes.
- And we will be so happy.
- I'm happy already.
Okay.
- Should we go outside?
- Let's go outside!
Great!
I'll take my bowl and then I guess we'll, yeah, yeah.
Are you okay with that?
- I'm okay with that.
- Okay, great.
Let's go this way, I guess.
Okay.
Here we go!
Mmmm-
mmm-
mmmm
mmm
Well, Jonathan, if you'll come out with me.
This is my beautiful backyard.
- Nice yard.
- Do you want to take the head of the table, please?
- Well, thank you very much.
- Yeah, as befits a master of your stature.
There we go.
So, do you like it in fancy restaurants when the guys goes
like this and then he goes over your lap.
You know, he does the thing and he starts to slither it
over your lap.
I think it's a little...
- It's never my favorite moment.
- I like to do it to myself sometimes.
- There you go!
- Maybe too much.
Alright.
Oh, thank you.
And now, can we have this first bite together
and I'll remember this forever and ever.
Ready?
- Ready!
- Mmmm
- Mmmm-mmm-mmm.
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