Dear Evan Hansen, I have lots of thoughts on it. Alana Beck owns my heart, I love her
so much, she's such an, um, an underrated character. I have this headcanon that she's
super sarcastic but she's just too anxious to show it. After she starts therapy and antidepressants
I feel like she'd be like super sarcastic and, yeah. I love her. So much. Also, Alana's
trans, like I consider trans!Alana to be canon. That's just how it is. I don't make the
rules- yes I do, I do make the rules. Actually. Um, I love her so much. We need to stop forgetting
that she's just as anxious as Evan, like, just 'cause she doesn't stutter through
every word, doesn't mean that she's not just as anxious. Like, um, she had a cut line
in the first Dear Evan Hansen performance that was like "what did I do wrong this
time?" and it just shows how anxious she is about messing up. And I, um, ….same.
She's like an anxious first year Hermione Granger and I love her. And she loves Zoe
Murphy. Okay, Zoe Murphy. I love her SO much, and
I can't talk about her without going into my Connor rant- [pause] [sigh] I'll go on
the Connor rant later. Okay so, y'all are always hating on her for hating Connor but
like, she had a reason to, because he was abusive! I, I love her because like, she's
she's not scared to love Evan, even though he's "friends" with Connor, and like,
if I was in that situation? I w-wouldn't be friends with him in the first place, I
definitely wouldn't be dating him, like. I was just gonna give an example and then
I remembered that my brother doesn't have friends. Um. If my brother had a friend and
that friend wanted to be friends with me, I wouldn't. Maybe I'm just a dick, but
I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I would be Zoe Murphy's therapist, let's
be real. Like, if I met her I'd just be like "hey girl, we're talking, come sit
down in my office, eat all my candy, steal… everything I own, I love you. You're valid."
[laughs] I love her so much. I wanna therapize Zoe Murphy. Because I, I just want her to
get better. The way she feels about Connor is valid, and it's reasonable, and understandable,
and she's such an underrated character, I'm so sorry, I love her so much, uh. I've
never once seen a character who didn't mourn someone who died, especially a sibling or
someone who died of suicide, especially not both. Like, I've never seen someone who
didn't mourn. And there's no sibling abuse representation in the media, and if there
is any abuse it's always romantic or parental. I've never seen abusive siblings or friends.
It makes me happy that there's representation for it, because it's a thing that happens
to people. And I. Love her? I love Zoe Murphy because
like. I guess what I'm trying to say is like, even though she's bitter and hurt,
she doesn't hurt other people - she doesn't lash out? [whispering] At Connor Murphy.
And then there's Connor. I really, really, really don't like Connor. Because he was
abusive to Zoe, and Zoe's my wife, and am I supposed to like someone who hurt my wife?
Like, that's my wife we're talking about here.
Evan's version of Connor, like, his OC? He wasn't real. He [clap] was [clap] not
[clap] real [clap] !! And that's something that as a fandom we
just don't - talk about? It's like, I see y'all treebros shippers listening to
for forever as loud as you can and ignoring the fact that it was a - a whole made up lie
by a desperately lonely teenager. Um- It never happened. Tree bros has no foundation
in reality. It could never have happened. Evan would not have had a crush on someone
who abused Zoe. The real Connor - I hate him with a passion,
'cause like, okay. A lot of the things he did WERE symptoms of his mental illness. A
lot of it had to do with drugs and his withdrawl symptoms. But it was abusive. You can't
erase that just so you can ship Evan with his OC.
Like, if you read a newspaper article that's like, "psychotic woman comes home drunk
and beats her three children," like… mental illness does NOT excuse abuse, no matter what
kind of abuse it is. It does not excuse abuse. Being traumatized by something - someone who
has a mental illness is okay! Because like, they still hurt you.
Um, anyway- Connor was a bad person, I'm not gonna, like, go completely into my rant,
because like, I get really really really angry- The point here is I hate Connor Murphy.
Now let me talk about Jared Kleinman because I love him so much, he's the light of my
life, and I have never related to a character as much as I relate to Jared Kleinman, like,
he kins me? I, I love him so much. I would give up my
life for him a thousand times because he is the best human being on this earth and I love
him so much- He's insecure, and he's anxious, just
as insecure and anxious as E-Evan and Alana, but no one talks about it under the guise
of being a jerk, whereas Alana hides it under being "a nerd" and Evan just doesn't
hide it, because he can't- And, I mean, what Jared did to Evan, lying
about being his friend, that wasn't okay, but like -
[Hamilton soundtrack plays] Forgiveness, can you imagine…
…I am a Hamilton fan- Yeah. What I'm saying here is, forgive Jared.
Like, if you can give a canon abuser a redemption arc, but not Jared, there's a problem there.
I, I really love Jared, okay? Give him a break. Like, write him in your fanfics - Write kleinsen
- If you tag Sincerely Three as Kleinsen -
That's my bIGGEST pet peeve, like - I search just "Jared Kleinman/Evan Hansen" and
minus the relationship Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, I can't remember the numbers…
but I searched that, and I went through 80 results, and they were ALL sincerely three.
I am BEgging you. From the bottom of my heart. Tag your stuff. This is unrelated to my Jared
rant, it's just kinda - [pause] Me as a person? It's -
Tag your background relatinoships too, while I'm at it. Because like, I was reading Galaxy
Gals fanfic - that's Zoe x Alana, for those of you who don't know - and, um, all of
them had untagged tree bros. I went through the entire tag, downloaded everything that
didn't have treebros tagged, and almost all of them had tree bros mentioned.
And - I can't handle seeing tree bros! You might have picked up on this. But. I get either
really upset and - [pause] panic-attack-y - when I see it? Or, I just get really angry
and go off on thirty minute vents to my laptop at eleven twenty seven AM.
From the bottom of my cold, dark heart, I am begging you,
And then Evan.I know y'all love to baby him and make him into his anxiety and nothing
more, into a stuttering little baby, but he was a lot more than his anxiety. Like, I don't
know why he did what he did, I don't know why he lied, I don't know why he said the
things that he said, but it wasn't okay. And it doesn't matter if he has anxiety or not,
he should take responsibility for his actions. Which, although they were nowhere near as
bad as someone's - CONNOR'S - they were still unkind. Like. Lying to Zoe, telling her that
her abuser was a good person? Leaving Jared the second he found something better? Like,
it wasn't okay. Like, he did it, and it wasn't okay. He left his best friend after years
because he found something better, and it wasn't even real.What he found wasn't even
real. Yeah, most of what Evan did wasn't okay. Quickly, my thoughts on the parents. Cynthia,
uh, she messed up, but like at least she tried. Larry messed up, but he - he didn't accept
that his son was hurting, um. He wanted to do the right thing, even though he tried it
again and again and it didn't help. And Heidi, okay. She's the best mom in the world. She
is practically my mom. I love Heidi Hansen so much. Heidi Hansen is my mom. Anyway, I
just really love Dear Evan Hansen a lot. Um, really quickly, like. Stop erasing the
fact that Evan was just as depressed as Connor. If it's SO realistic for Connor to have scars
up his arms, it's realistic for Evan too. Let's be real.Zoe too, she probably had a
plethora of mental illnesses after Connor. I'm willing to bet she had CPTSD, probably
depression. Alana canonically has anxiety. Evan also has anxiety and depression. He tried
to kill himself, that's like, a depression thing.
[Badly timed laughter even though it's not funny]
I'm sorry I don't know why I'm laughing. Go listen to Dear Evan Hansen if you haven't.
Ignore my terrible pronunciation of everything, and the rocking, and the lack of eye contact?
We don't need to talk about that. Um, goodbye, I love Dear Evan Hansen.
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