everything on earth has a purpose and
you do to that purpose provides an inner
drive that once you tap into it can give
your life immense fulfillment it'll also
give you certainty because you know
right now what a world that's changing
so rapidly that virtually every time you
turn around you hear about something
else that's changing and I personally
get to deal with hundreds of thousands
of people per year I see about 250 to
300 thousand people a year in my live
programs and I hear so much excitement
I also hears so much fear about the pace
of change I mean we've all talked about
changes happening so rapidly now in
paradigm shifts all that stuff has
become so overused at this point that
we've become numb to it but it's true
never in the history of the world of
things change so rapidly so you need to
find something that's eternal inside of
yourself that no matter what changes on
the surface this part of you does not
change it's the part you come back to
the part that guides you the part that
really makes you fulfilled and match
your purpose because all of a sudden
when you find out a friend's got cancer
or you turn around and you see that
35,000 people IBM got laid off or an
entire industry disappeared overnight
because a new one was created it'll give
you a way to find some good and
virtually anything your purpose is
available to you at any moment of your
life but you got to know what it is
before we get into it let me back up a
little bit here okay I have a good
friend is one of the most successful
financial people in the country he works
in all these financial markets he's an
incredibly successful businessman and I
know he's working very hard right now on
a goal and I went to visit him recently
and boy he's working hard he's gonna
achieve that goal but you know when the
goal is finally there then he's gonna be
happy and I thought no no no no you know
each moment we've got to be able to find
some sense of meaning for our life
something that a significant something
is useful and we all know this is not a
new conversation but as your coach and
as your friend in these tapes I'd like
to draw your attention to some things
that maybe you already know but haven't
thought about for a while
maybe gets you to put some of your focus
into the most important area life which
is enhancing meaning see all of us in
life have to have a reason to be here if
all you're doing out there is going out
and trying to achieve goals and then you
achieve them and I'm sure you've run
into that trip up wire that says okay
I've achieved the goal now what right we
achieve the goal and your brain says is
this all there is see the purpose of the
goal is I've shared with you so many
turns is not to achieve the goal the
purpose of the goal is what it makes of
us as people who we become ultimately
with though we have to have a sense that
who we even have become as some kind of
meaning without that there's not a
reason to live there's not a reason to
get up there's not a reason to go out
there and make it happen what's really
controlling this man's life is fear when
people say they're cynical or they're
pessimistic what they're really
screaming out to you is I'm scared out
of my mind I'm afraid to dream again I'm
afraid to think about what's possible
I'm afraid to really put myself on the
line it's I'm gonna go for something I'm
gonna stand for something I'm gonna put
myself in line in a relationship or my
business or my vision to make a
difference in the world because you know
what maybe at one time this person did
that maybe they've tried it several
times and it didn't work and they got
pain and pain and pain but he said they
didn't want the pain so they stopped
dreaming he stopped and visioning he
stopped coming up with meaning instead
they trying to keep themself away from
the pain by saying well there's no
meaning at all anyway but unfortunately
that gives you the ultimate pain because
it gives you a life without meaning and
no one can live a life that's fulfilled
without a sense of meaning see we've
been put here for a reason
question is why but the answer I think
is different for every one of us is
different for me than it is for you and
yet it's the same every one of us has
been put here every one of us is unique
and different and special and I believe
our Creator if I use the word God if I'm
a God has put you here for a reason
questions what is it God does not create
things without a purpose everything on
earth serves a purpose why are you here
what are you here to do what are you
here to become to create and to give
these are some of the most significant
questions that you can answer in your
life and even when you answer them
that as your life expands you'll come up
with better answers as you get more
experienced and you get closer and touch
with your own innermost being and maybe
you're closer in touch with your Creator
as well so Tony where are you going with
this I'm really going to the essence of
giving your life what you deserve which
is knowing that there are no mistakes
knowing that every little thing you do
has a consequence it can be a positive
consequences if you choose it the most
powerful thing that has consequence in
your life though is the thing we talk
about so often but I gotta say it again
and that is what's really ultimately
shaping our lives or our decisions the
first decision is the decision about
what to focus on where your focus goes
gonna determine how you think how you
feel what you do ultimately what your
life turns out like what you're able to
contribute the bottom line is we must
find an empowering focus out of any
situation the second decision that
shapes our life and the meaning of our
lives are the decisions that we make
about what something needs meaning as
ultimately something we determine that's
the exciting part about it and that's
the scary part about it and the third
decision of course is what are you going
to do when something happens see so much
of the fear that we see in life comes
from the fact that most of us don't feel
like we're in control we're running
around trying to control all the events
of our lives and every single one of us
is going to experience multiple
situations in our life that no matter
how skillful we are well we cannot
control the event well it's just not
something that we can control because we
didn't initiate it anytime you're
dealing with other people this is gonna
happen anytime you're dealing with
Mother Nature this is gonna happen
most of us in life are so afraid
something's gonna happen that we can't
control therefore we're gonna get pain
that we try to avoid those things we
can't control we're trying to shape our
lives where we spend our time who we
spend our time with what we do
environments that we feel really
comfortable in when we feel like we're
really controlling them what that does
is it limits the shape and quality of
our lives we've got to do want to put
ourselves out there to discover what
we're really capable everywhere put
environments when we don't know what to
do we don't know what things mean when
we're not sure it's in those
environments that we grow the most it's
in those environments that we discover
more of our true purpose as human beings
it's there that our character is shaped
you know so many times we set goals or
we have dreams or we have plans and we
work our tail off and it doesn't come
out the way we want and a lot of people
come out of those situations
disillusioned or angry or resentful or
frustrated they look for someone to
blame but you know sometimes I really
truly believe that not getting your goal
as part of the design it's part of the
game plan causing you to dig inside and
discover more of yourself to really
begin to use your real capacity as human
being those traits that are within you
that only expand when they're challenged
when demands are made upon them
you know I truly believe that God is not
so much interested in our convenience as
he isn't our character you know and I
also believe that because something
hasn't happened right away when you
wanted it and designed it didn't work
out doesn't mean it's not gonna happen
it's really a test of how committed are
you it's really a test designed to make
you become more gods delays are not
God's denials unless you give up of
course if you don't do your part then of
course whatever you've envisioned will
never come to be but we have to be
willing to continue to put ourselves
forth and know that events will show up
that we can't control so let me ask you
a question you go okay I understand all
this Tony but how do you ever have a
sense of certainty in a world that's
changing all the time where you set
goals you do all the right things and
still doesn't always turn out right how
do you live in a world or suddenly
something can happen it can take away
your whole business or you know storm
could come and take away your home or or
some calamity could happen to your
personal family or a disease could hit
or or someone could die
how do you deal with all that and the
answer is you have to know the one thing
you can control is not events where you
control is what things mean to you
and therein comes the secret to life
because no matter what happens in your
life the meaning of what has happened is
yours you get to determine it as long as
you're conscious and you don't allow the
people around you to teach you what to
think and as long as you don't just go
on an automatic pilot and allow your
nervous system to make up connections
that are false let me give an example of
what happens to people certainly by now
you realize that what you do is human
being is primarily driven by your need
to avoid pain your desire for pleasure
right let's see all of us have learned
through life that certain things mean
more pain than others and so some people
are driven by their fear right to
experience the emotion of fear is the
most incredible painful thing they could
ever imagine so they'll do anything to
avoid being in a fearful situation other
people are driven by their desire to
feel a sense of adventure
obviously they make decisions
differently they focus on different
things in life they can walk in the same
room as someone who lives in fear and
they're gonna notice different things
they're gonna want to sit in a different
place they're gonna want to try a
different kind of vacation than someone
who's trying to focus on how to be
secure what drives you are you driven by
guilt are you driven by your past when
we would use the word driven the word
Drive it really means to guide to
control or to direct something so what's
guiding you what's controlling you
what's directing your behavior what's
directing your focus what's directing
the meaning you're pulling from your
life what is it is it your parents is it
the competition you have with somebody
else is it wanted to prove somebody
wrong is it your desire to contribute is
it your desire for joy or happiness or
is it a sense of purpose that's driving
a sense there's something out there for
you to do something you're designed to
evolve into to become to share to give
to create you don't even know what it is
but you're willing to trust that each
day more that's gonna come out see
whatever drives you that's what's
shaping your life and the challenge is
that most of us never consciously decide
what we're gonna have drive our life see
we're not stimulus-response
animals but we can be then these are
sponsored animals our nervous systems
are designed to help us they're designed
to be a source of decision-making
they're designed to help us very quickly
when you have an experience figure out
what is the source of that pain so we
can avoid it in the future what is that
source of that pleasure so we can have
more of it in the future but when we
don't think things through when we don't
think things through in an empowering
way we don't have faith that there's a
higher meaning we tend to settle like
animals for the lowest meaning that we
can find well this is happening because
I'm a bad person
this is happening because there's
something wrong with me this is
happening because I'm just destined to
fail or worse very often in life we
don't even consciously think things
through our nervous system just makes
quick decisions hey every moment you're
alive whatever you have a significant
amount of pain your brain says hey what
is the source of this pain and it uses
three criteria I'm sure you remember to
determine what the source of your pain
is it looks for something that is
happening about the same time you're
having a pain that is unique because
after all you weren't feeling pain a
moment ago you got pain now what's
unique about this situation it looks for
something that is recent something's
happening about the same time you have
the pain and it also looks for something
that has consist of something that
whenever you have had pain in the past
this has also been a factor in that
situation let me tell you how these
three criteria can help you you go out
one day when you're a child and you
touch a hot stove you feel some pain you
pull it back your brain says okay what
was unique to that moment that gave me
the pain he looks around us inside this
burner right and says what was happening
about the same time I felt the pain I
was touching this bird
and what's consistent about it well
maybe nothing until you do it again
after doing it two or three times or
maybe one time does it hurt enough maybe
one time is consistent it's like when
somebody says to you always do that you
know I don't always do that yes you do
you always do it I've done it one time
yeah but well that's always what human
beings can make one time consistent if
it's painful enough so the bottom line
is what do you learn your nervous system
learns you don't grab burners now you
just don't do that and so in the future
when you're trying to make a decision
about what to focus on what things mean
what to do and you're going by a burner
one of the options is not to go grab
that baby just for fun so as basic as
this lesson is we feel to realize that
this simple system that assists us so
much and making decisions because it
helps us discover what is the source of
our pain or our pleasure so we can avoid
the pain gain the pleasure in the future
this simple system can be misguided or
misinterpret information see here's how
it works so given example I was doing a
date with us made only a couple weekends
ago um several people having major
challenges in their life and one lady
just couldn't get herself to really have
any meaning in her life and it's like a
digging digging digging the real problem
that she had is he felt lonely because
she felt disconnected because she wanted
to have someone she could share her life
with but she couldn't get herself to do
that why would you guess someone
couldn't get themself to be able to
share their life not hard to figure out
is it pain person obviously as I guessed
had a painful relationship in the past
which she had was so painful that she
linked up in her head that marriage she
had a previous one that was painful
equals death remember kind of keep you
away from getting into closer
relationship right and I don't her brain
do that well she said she was in this
relationship but was so great but after
they got married this man became
physically abusive verbally abusive he
basically did everything he could to
control every aspect of her life and the
worst thing of all when she finally got
developed the courage to divorce this
man he threatened dolly her life but he
also threatened their own
Suns life now when that happens she got
linked up marriage equals death to not
only need a potential loss of the life
of my child that's even more than the
loss of her own life for her well it's
not too hard to figure out that if your
brain says why am I feeling his ultimate
pain it looks for something unique and
says well coz I'm married and then it
looks around and says what was happening
about the same time I felt the pain
marriage and you say what was consistent
during the painting old marriage pretty
soon you can avoid marriage but it
doesn't stop there her brain also linked
up that the cause of her pain was
something else two men cuz after all
what was unique I have this man around I
was married to a man right and then
secondly what else was going on well
about the same time I was feel the pain
I was with this man and sure enough what
was recent this man right all the time I
had the pain he was there every time so
sure enough all the Sun she's avoiding
all men but didn't stop there she also
linked up that the reason she thought
this pain was because she trusted so as
a result her brain linked up
unconsciously if you trust then you will
die now I would say to you the opposite
is true if you don't trust if you don't
have faith then you instantly die
internally you may not die physically
but you die emotionally because anything
that's worth living in life requires
faith it requires trusting it requires
knowing that you can get out of the
chair and walk on this floor and when
you step out on the floor you don't stop
and have to analyze can I do this and
you don't weigh everything and think
about your weight and the structure of
the floor what's underneath that you
just trust otherwise you'd be
immobilized you have to trust the drive
a car you have to have faith to enter a
relationship get faith to start a
business you have to faith when all of a
sudden somebody this company says these
35,000 people are gone into faith and if
you're one of those 35,000 that there is
a better plan for you and that you will
now act on that faith and take action
and find that better plan
better solution for your life you must
have that you lose trust you lose
meaning when you lose meaning you lose
your life again maybe not physically but
certainly emotionally and when you lose
it emotionally the physical loss of life
often is not that far behind medical
researchers are now proving the
mind-body connection is not some psycho
babble but a physical reality that the
way we think in the way we feel about
our lives affects us physically in fact
dr. Chopra recently shared with me that
there is a new study that was done in
the state of Massachusetts where they
began to study what causes someone to
die of their first heart attack before
the age of 50 where they never get
another chance I was what was the number
one risk factor they wanted to know and
they assumed that what would cause
someone to die from just their very
first heart attack never another chance
would be a person just had so much
cholesterol in their body the body
wasn't able to recover they found out
that was not the number one risk factor
and I thought well maybe that diabetes
maybe was more of a genetic factor they
had once again disproved that theory
with the Department of Health Education
and Welfare for the state of
Massachusetts states in their article
clearly is the most important risk
factor determine that you will die of
your first heart attack and not get a
second chance is what they call job
dissatisfaction you've got to have a
deeper meaning for your life and now I'm
on that grindstone again I'm on that
treadmill no wonder most people life's
turn to alcohol or drugs or television
and even then they can't find something
entertaining themselves even then they
don't sense any fulfillment this
distraction does not create a life of
significance distraction does not create
joy distraction will not give you what
you're seeking drugs will not change
your life for the better
right what they'll do is hurt you
they'll create pain and there are all
kinds of drugs anything that doesn't
expand you as a human being or allow you
to share more love and joy with others
and
natural way that enhances your
physiology and your mind your emotions
and your spirit is something you
probably don't need you gotta grow
you gotta expand you got to contribute
you've got to know that you're here for
a purpose there are no mistakes there is
a meaning even if you haven't found it
yet you must discover it you know what
for most people they don't discovered
the meaning of their life until their
life is over
what a sad place to be or until they
have a life-threatening illness
we're until somebody very close to them
that they love is about to leave them
you don't have to wait for the pain to
discover the meaning oh I know why I
found the purpose of my life you decide
what it is you discover it and you
decide this is it from maybe later on
I'll refine it I probably will but for
right now this is why I'm playing the
game of life this is what it's about
everyday if I'm just being this way if
I'm just doing these kinds of simple
things with other people with myself
then I know I'm on track I know there's
a reason for my existence we all have
that I know you know a story of Viktor
Frankl right the manner up man's search
for meaning here's a man who's in a Nazi
concentration camp with pain everywhere
around him knowing any moment he could
be gassed or may be spared and a
disparity to have the unique privilege
of going out and taking the dead bodies
out of those gas chambers putting them
in the big ovens talk about intense and
yet somehow in the midst of that pain
he's found a deeper meaning the meaning
was that even though he was in pain in
the moment somehow someday he would
survive this and he would come to share
the story so that this would never
happen to other people in the future he
couldn't find a meaning in the moment he
found a meaning in the future and for
most of us the meaning that we want for
our lives is here today and it's
preparing us for an even greater meaning
in the future if we'll just use all of
our life's experience the pain and the
pleasure to become more
to prepare ourselves for whatever it is
that our Creator has brought us here for
to prepare ourselves so that at the
moment of truth where we are needed we
will deliver my real belief is we're
going to be delivering all along the way
it isn't something that some day you're
gonna do it's something new every day
are doing you know my former spouse
Becky just recently lost her father
and it's been a tough time for her
because in a very short period of time
here she's lost both her mom and her dad
and that's an event you cannot control
and God knows we tried you know three
years ago when they told us that father
had cancer they told us that he would
die within a period of anywhere from
three to six months and we just did not
allow them to tell him that for the
obvious reasons you know how I believe
from all the people we've learned from
from everyone from dr. Bernie Siegel to
Norman Cousins to dr. Deepak Chopra we
understand the mind-body connection if
someone decides that because they have
some dis-ease in their body what it
means is they're gonna die then of
course they will unfortunately he never
found out that diagnosis and what we did
is we kept making sure he had a
compelling future he had a sense of
meaning a variety of things that he was
needed for it was amazing how he
physically responded when we had trips
scheduled for him to go to Fiji on which
he went on and talked about how we
needed his help with our resort there
and helping some of the genes in the
garden because the garden for him
created so much meaning in his life
about supporting about nurturing about
helping life along a little bit and so
he that he was excited about things we
wanted to do with his grandkids and so
we kept giving him compelling futures
and sure enough three months went by he
was healthy six months went by he was
healthy a year went by and through a
variety of interventions pretty soon he
seemed to be better and tells us
recently when we started getting phone
calls from his neighbors he lived up in
a place called Ram Colorado a little
town with 14 people in it and he's been
a major part of for years and years and
they started cause to tell us but they
didn't think he could take care of
himself anymore so we flew out and
brought him back here the first few days
he was in phenomenal shape it was like
he was completely restored being around
the grandkids and then being in the
environment he was all excited to share
about things that are happening his
little town of RAM that he helped to
create there about all about the calves
that he helped to deliver and about the
planting season and how they helped
people through the winter and some of
the stories they've been telling and he
was just totally alive and we took him
the doctors for a series of tests they
said they wanted to keep him overnight
the next day we called my spoke to his
main doctor and he said it looks like he
just has a foreign meningitis so he said
that'll be really easily treatable and
he should be okay and he said oh don't
worry
he said we're just gonna do a series of
more tests because he's a bit dehydrated
he lives in an altitude of about 11,500
feet and he's not drinking enough water
he said so you know we're gonna run a
couple more tests he said next day he
said but I think he'll be fine he said I
have to go out of town he said my you
know partner doctor will be working with
him so said I've passed on all the
information you can check in with him
tomorrow well the next day Becky went to
go see her dad and I was out doing a
seminar and I got a phone call on the
phone call was that they've done
additional tests and that they found out
that the cancer had spread throughout
his spine and into his brain and while
it wasn't treatable before when they
told us three years ago it's certainly
not treatable now and that they thought
he would die within weeks the worst part
was though that they also told this to
him before they told it to Becky
so he had no one there to support him
through the process or to give him other
options when I found this out I became
so angry with the doctors just I focused
on how he'd violated what we asked them
to do and how the other doctor should
have told his partner doctor not to tell
him yet to allow us to talk to him to
prepare him for the situation that was
so harsh it was so unfair and the
meaning of it was that it was going to
really harm him that it all said he
would give up hope and what I wanted to
do was lash out and fortunately I didn't
lash out instead I started focused on
what's happening to see so what can I do
so but to go see him and talk to him and
it was unbelievable he looked like he
just aged ten years in a day because
what happened is he had no future there
was no purpose in fighting the pain or
trying to make things happen or you know
trying to tell stories or do anything
because after all you're gonna die
anyway soon
that was kind of the way he was
interpreting it sure enough no matter
what we said he just didn't seem to
respond he's just seemed to go into a
total stupor and for the next day and a
half or so he just sat in the corner he
really didn't say very much or
communicate very much she just said not
to bother with him that he was fine he
didn't open up emotionally when I just
sat down with him tonight I cried and
had told him how much I loved him and
much Becky loved him and how you needed
to share with us what he was really
feeling because then holding that back
wasn't keep protecting us from pain was
just felt separate from him then we knew
that he could choose how what this was
gonna mean for his life that he the
doctors had told us three years ago that
he was gonna die with a matter of months
then here he was three years later I
said what if you would have just sat
around for three years in this little
corner doing nothing because you thought
you're gonna die any day or any week and
said that'd be pretty crazy on he
started laughs but I said look at this I
said you can't just sit off in this
corner hey you might die tomorrow you
might die in six weeks you might die in
six months in my dad in six years
you might die in ten or twenty years and
really screw these people's brains up I
said it doesn't matter how long you're
gonna live let's come at us how are you
gonna live while you're here I said
you've lived an incredible life and he
in World War two you were a pilot you
know you're a businessman now you're
this guy who's touching this little town
up in Colorado everybody knows you and
cares about you loves you because you
love them I said you've praised these
incredible kids I said you know if
you're gonna go go out and style go out
because you decided to go out in an
energy that you want to where you really
enjoy your life don't just shut down
because somebody told you life's over
cuz you buy into it don't do it and he
said well you know Tony said the truth
is I'm not afraid to die he said
everything he said is true he said you
know my life has been so rich he says I
feel like you know I've lived my purpose
now
I look around and I see my kids and I
see what they're like is people and I
see what I've done and and I think maybe
it's time for me to go now
I said listen if you're deciding to do
that because you really want to go as
that then you know I love you I'm he
said oh you know I I'm gonna cry and
environment I and keep you here and not
others because we love you I said but at
the same time don't leave cuz somebody
tells you it's time to go he said well
no I said well it's time to go you'll no
I said you can go consciously you can
decide one of the time you don't have to
wait til the pain is so intense you
can't stand it but the same time don't
go any quicker then your meaning is done
I think right now you're teaching your
family a lot of new lessons he said yeah
that's probably true I said so what do
you want to do how do you want to do
things I see let's get your Fanny and
out of here let's get about we have this
great conversation and talk about all
kinds of things it will bore you the
details but I love Marilyn never ever
worry about his daughter and she'd
become the kind of person he could
always be proud of
it was amazing cuz the next before five
days he came to life all of a sudden
there was a purpose and things again all
of a sudden he was alive he'd go out by
the pool and tell stories and so forth
and he went over to the Polo Grounds and
did all kinds of just really great
things and then I went away for a
seminar and it came back two days later
and it was like he was gone
he's having difficult time holding
himself up you have round-the-clock care
for him pretty soon he wasn't able to
carry on a conversation he would start
talking gibberish start seeing things
that were invisible and point to them we
did how the end was coming and as the
end started to come there was more and
more pain the tears and we felt it all
and also at the same time reminded
ourselves hey we're making this thing
but it's lost because if our short-term
thinking about this man in his body in
his presence but his life will live on
beyond his physical presence here and
for him what it probably means his
freedom finally be free of the painful
bodies been in for so many years for him
it's a chance to be with his wife
Becky's mom she has to be whether the
loved ones
there was another meeting that could
give you joy at the same time you're
feeling pain and so we try to focus on
those and one night I got home and I was
sudden I was called by the nurse
she told me that Becky's dad just passed
away
and share with back we grind my talked
at the same time she felt incredible
sets a piece for him
it's amazing how instantly how we felt
could change just by changing what we
focused on more lost his game
- the feeling of joy for him to be free
we couldn't control the event but we
could certainly direct our own minds
that thinking beyond ourselves to
something deeper it would be per meeting
in life
I got back yesterday from calling Becky
up to this little town and ran Colorado
well Don I've never been to before Becky
had been there many times I got a chance
to see where Cecil lived and the impact
he had you didn't really want a funeral
he never liked people quote put on airs
for anything it's a simple man with
simple values and a simple mission when
I got there I looked around and he never
explicitly said what the mission of his
life was a purpose of his life but in a
town of 14 people on we went out to this
gravesite to put his body into the
ground and suddenly person after person
started showing up we knew all 14 people
be there because we nearly touched them
all they all loved him he was the
storyteller it's the man who took an old
car years ago and painted it black and
white but a star on the side but a dump
in the inside of glasses made it look
like a police car so the people came
running through this little town which
consisted about seven or eight buildings
that they might slow down his house was
called the rand Yacht Club because he
invited everybody up for coffee every
single morning at least 300 days a year
figured I could tell him a story and
cheer him up he's surrounded a
restaurant they were called the wires
layer the reason was because he had
people he'd tell people stories and he
tell the wildest tales and get people to
believe them sure enough after about 10
or 15 years I began to realize that some
of these things were stories and they
all laughed as they told me stories
about this incredible man and touch
their lives when we got to the gravesite
not only did 14 people show up but this
town it's four hours outside of Denver
people came from all over people came
from my own meat people came from Denver
every said there were a hundred people
at a gray site where there's not
supposed to be a service the honor of
man had touched their lives so we said
you know you don't have any formal
service cuz that's not what he wanted
but before we put his body in the ground
as I am I'd like to say anything and we
all talked about how he touched them
their life was greater because he was
such a loving small and his smile a
texture that his stories a touch them
that just his manner that he was lover
of people in animals
because he'd been in this town their
lives would never be the same people who
come through the town just for a day
just there's a little kindness he was a
man who said if you can't say something
nice about something don't say anything
at all he never said negative word about
anybody in fact one man probably the
most telling tale of this man's life
he said cecil's a kind of guy so they
sat down one day with him and said what
are you doing about all those rodents
that keep stealing our animals are you
poison to the moon shooting him you're
trapping him are you killing what are
you doing because they're taking all my
stuff and Cecil said and I said I just
plant twice as much I thought what a
life what a man his life was his mission
his mission was real simple love people
while the animals loved beings make the
world a little bit better by just being
nice
he lived a life of significance one that
had mean
you didn't go out and change everything
on earth you didn't make a billion
dollars
he doesn't have people writing him up
everywhere but he changed people's lives
and he died in his sleep out of pain the
day he decided to go
and he created in his family a greater
sense of courage to look at life in a
new way and a greater sense of
dedication to give him more
he added to our drive he had at our
commitment to be givers in life as he
was to any soul who had the privilege of
coming across his path
[Music]
I hope it also makes you think about
what's most important in your life I
remember an interview with Michael
Hendon in Life magazine when he knew he
was gonna go he said quote somebody
should tell us right at the start of our
lives that were dying and we might live
life to the limit every minute of every
day do what I say whatever you want to
do do it now there are only so many
tomorrow's if you and I are gonna live
our lives fully then maybe sometimes we
can take the experiences of those around
us and learn from them we can learn that
when all of our lives were either
warnings or examples ceaseless mindful
is an incredible example he didn't think
anything in life was insignificant not a
rodent not a flower and not an animal
not a stranger passing through
we live by a philosophy that they also
live in Fiji by the way Fiji was his
favorite place the last things he told
me was that happiest time his life
lasted years were the trips he took to
Fiji I think it's because he felt like
there everybody understood what he
understood the wife is meant to be a
happy to be a joy to appreciate the
little things as opposed the big things
appreciate one another to be givers to
be lovers of life I say to you that if
you're driven by anything other than
your love then your spirit and your
desire to contribute your desire to grow
and expand if you're driven by their
need to please others if you're driven
by your fear if you're driven by your
past maybe it's time to free yourself
and the way to do it is decide decide
consciously what you want your life to
be about
decide consciously what's the purpose of
your life something simple something you
can live every single day
and I think that I look at people's
lives and I see the people who are
having so much difficulty I think the
number one reason why people fail to
experience joy and life experience life
as a win it's not because their life
isn't the wind because the wind can be
just reaching out and touching somebody
around you the wind can be just telling
somebody that you love them the wind
could be taking care of your body God's
temple the wind could be stopping and
feeling grateful the wind could be
anywhere you don't have to land on the
moon to have the win and you can enjoy
landing on the moon - how much better to
enjoy the process because we're going to
spend most of our life in process
towards the achievement of goals but I'm
not saying don't go do things and I'm
not saying don't have grand schemes and
dreams and you're not saying don't do
those because our lives are better
because people dream huge dreams they
need them happen but I'm saying don't do
it at the expense of not appreciating
what's true along the way and the
Cecil's reminder service all those
little things that are so so important
and we've always believed that important
I feel like we've always lived that
they're important but I just want to
redouble the effort it's part of my
commitment to him and I sell and his
honor I challenge you to do the same I
challenge you to hold yourself to a
higher standard I challenge you to
realize that you're here for a purpose
there's something for you to do and be
here for yourself and for others you
can't just do for others not do for
yourself or you won't be here so this is
really designed to get you to ask
yourself are you being efficient are you
being effective in your life there's a
big difference if you're being efficient
then what you're doing is you're doing
things right but if you're being
effective you're doing the right things
are you doing the things they're gonna
give you the most joy in your life why
are you doing what you're doing and
where is it taking you you know we all
need to have what I call a code of
conduct a set of standards we hold
ourselves to every day about how we're
gonna be is people the kinds of states
we're gonna live in cuz it's out of
those states that we affect everyone
around us just stop and think about
what's most important think about why
you're here what's the purpose your life
step out of the moment and into eternity
think about what's eternal when you're
feeling insecure start to realize there
is something inside of you that is
never-ending if there's something inside
of you that is unchangeable and that's
the part of you that knows what is right
let the do and why you're here so you
know how that may sound metaphysical and
may sound religious or spiritual call it
whatever you want but know that the
bottom line is that you are here for a
reason and that it's a special reason
that only you know and it may be that
you haven't found it that you're looking
for something huge and it may be that
you're living it right now you're just
not appreciating your purpose maybe what
you're doing right now is your life
purpose this thing that you detest most
or maybe what it is doing is giving you
the challenge to really discover
something within yourself that allow you
to give and be more because life is
about two things being and doing how are
you gonna be as a human being I mean
ultimately our destiny is who do we
become as people and what do you do what
do you contribute that's what it's about
that's what gives us the sense of
fulfillment and a life of significance
it's one of growth and contribute
it's one you decide what your life's
about simply are you what are you here
for here to live to learn to grow cheer
to love what are you here for I'm asking
these questions I hope in your thinking
not just listening to me
what is the special plan for you you've
got to discover the purpose feel like
there is a plan there's something here
for you that's different than anybody
else in the world that you've got to
discover what it is and the best way to
discover is just trust your instinct and
say what is it that was simple as clear
and I was living in today why am I here
cuz if you never discover your purpose
how can you ever win the game of life
how can you really enjoy it thoroughly
so I look around at people so often
they're so unhappy and I think the
reason is that they don't ever win the
game of life it's a game they feel like
they can't win like they're always
losing and the reason number one is I
think there's seven reasons I'll give
you seven I've jotted some down here I
think number one is I think most people
never win the game of life and never
feel fulfilled I never feel joy because
they don't know the purpose of the game
because if you don't know the purpose of
the game what's your chances of ever
winning I've ever get to ring the bell
feel that sense of fulfillment or joy or
passion or love or whatever it is that
you truly want at the deepest level see
if you have the purpose the game you
don't know the goal is pretty hard to
set up your game to win isn't it pretty
soon you start pursuing things that
don't give you some filming living
somebody else's wife other than your own
you gotta know what are you doing it all
for what do you really want and asked
most people this question what do you
want they give me answers like well I
know what I don't want I don't want to
live this way anymore I don't want to
feel like Alan emu whore that's not
gonna give you what you want what do you
really want oh I want to finally be
financially secure so I can retire great
you know statistics about retirement
actuaries his statistics from insurance
companies show the three years after a
man retires specifically I'm using men
guess what happens he dies to retire is
to die and for some people this is like
their major aim think about it her time
is gonna make you happy you gotta have a
purpose you gotta know what it is you've
got to decide what it is at least for
now know that that vision will continue
to expand second reason why most people
fail the game called life cuz even
though they don't know the purpose of
the game that got tons of rules about
how it must be played they don't even
know the goal they got all these rules
they gotta live by and only do they have
rules for themselves but they have rules
for everybody else around them rules for
how their spouse should be rules about
how their boss should be rules from
people they don't even know on the
street should be you know it's so often
I likely get upset with other people and
it's not about the other people it's
about our rules they're doing something
we know they shouldn't be doing or
they're not doing something we know they
should be doing right we need to just
relax a little bit you need to realize
that whatever people are doing they got
a reason may not be a very intelligent
reason by our perspective but who are we
to say and you know what and maybe it
isn't an intelligent reason by lots of
people's ideas but you know what is a
reason I mean it all comes down how do
we wire ourselves as human beings see
whenever you see somebody you think
they're doing something crazy have some
compassion
are there any stupid things you've never
done in your life
or crazy I would hallucinate based on my
own personal experience answer maybe you
betcha from the bottom line is we got
understand that things are going on that
we don't understand with people I'm at
one time I was talking to Stephen Covey
about times when we misinterpreted
people's behavior and he told me about
this time they got on the subway and
this man walked in and brought on a
bunch of his kids and they were just
running lamp screaming yelling making
noise creating havoc and you know
Stephens more of a mellow centered kind
of guy he doesn't like that kind of
environment even on the subway and the
bottom line is you know he didn't want
to say anybody fan stuff getting more
and more irritated the man scene he's
just ignoring the kids like didn't even
matter what they were doing so he found
himself on the point where he actually
spoke up so Stephen turned him and said
you know do you think you might want to
do something about these children and
the man looked at him and said oh you
know I guess I said huh he said we just
got back to the hospital their mother
just died he said I just don't think
they know how to deal with it
quite honestly neither do I
he's got like absolute garbage and he
said it made him from then on and
realize whatever's going on there may be
something else going on as well Nina
have compassion gave him fewer rules for
other people in his life not a bad idea
but we were talking about people that
don't succeed in life and I hope they
succeed one they don't know the purpose
of the game too they got tons of rules
even though the purpose how'd you like
to be in a game and you're trying to win
hey you don't know the goal and you got
a zillion rules you gotta live by I'd be
pretty frustrating wouldn't it why add
Steph Curry to it here's the third
reason people fail to win the game of
life and that is because their rules are
in conflict we've got all these
different special rules where we
contradict ourselves we're in one
situation you're supposed to be one way
and another situation is supposed to be
totally different in order to be
effective see if you got a bunch of
rules in conflict which most of us do
you're gonna have pain you're gonna have
frustration generalize here's the fourth
reason why most people won't win the
game of life because even when the
person plays by the rules they don't
always win neither would you do anything
right you don't always get rewarded you
give your all you put your heart and
soul on you do everything right and
still sometimes it rains on your parade
sometimes you know a storm comes down
and beat the death out of your crop all
the sudden you're in the Midwest and the
flood comes and destroys all you've
worked on you know that kind of messes
your brain a little bit you start saying
hey you know why even try there's no
meaning this everything I do is for
naught that's worthless not realizing
there's a deeper meaning there's a
meaning beyond the moment that what's
happening in this life right now this
event you can't control whether it's the
loss of a father as Becky has gone
through and the father laws I have or
there's loss of a business or anything
that seems to be a loss is a game if you
ask yourself how can I use this what
else could this mean if I can't use it
today how will I use this someday
how can I turn this into opportunity how
can I make myself more how can I use
this pain to sculpt my soul
what can I do right now to move myself
forward these are the kinds of questions
or support you instead of blows me why
me why this have to happen you'll never
get an answer to those those questions
are leave you in an endless loop here's
the fifth reason why most people fail
the game called life sometimes you break
the rules and you win oh my gosh you do
something you know is it right you do
something you know you shouldn't do
something that's against your own values
against your own way of doing things and
you get pleasure and your brain goes hey
for maybe there's some new rules out
here maybe I don't have to live by these
rules after all when I work my butt off
and did everything right and helped
myself to size standard I got paid I
break the rule I got pleasure maybe this
that's really wire maybe out of this
like take a look at life being this way
you know it does it takes you away from
your higher purpose it takes you away
from what's most important in your life
and while you might get pleasure in the
short term you give up that sense of
dignity within yourself that says you're
doing the right thing that's what causes
more people to fail life and I think
almost anything else cuz the ultimate
pleasure in life requires sometimes
short-term pain to get to it and that
ultimate pleasures will you become what
you contribute and the experience of
life that you have because of that
growth and contribution the sixth reason
when most people fail the game called
life it's because in order to win this
game you got to work with five and a
half billion other people all have the
wrong rules they don't know the purpose
of the game either and they are real
clear that there are certain rules you
must live by we all have different rules
because we've all learned different ways
of getting out of pain and into pleasure
in life you gotta learn from one another
and finally the seventh reason why most
people fail the game called life because
they think it's a life and death game
and you said well it is a life and death
game well I'm the first person to agree
that this is not a practice session this
is the real thing that's what I gotta
live it full-on but if you think
everything is life and death every
moment you put so much pressure on
yourself that you truly will not live
life you'll live in fear that's no life
at all how do you live life and win the
game well in spite of all this stuff
that sounds so terrible there are people
that seem to be winning seem to be
fulfilled
seem to be making different seem to have
a great deal of joy in their life
and they seem to have it consistently
and they're not doing it dude
or alcohol of distraction they're doing
it through living a life of significance
how they've done it they do what we do
in our date with destiny seminar we
accomplished seven things in that
seminar and I bring it up because I hope
you'll take the time and actually come
we'll get your purpose and your mission
statement and your values all in the
exact order you ideally need them to be
so you're being pulled adduction you
want sitting pulling multiple directions
but for right now here's what we do this
is what we're gonna start doing on this
tape it's the first thing these people
have to succeed or fulfilled as they've
decided what the purpose of the game is
at least for right now if you follow me
on this they said okay I don't know what
the purpose is ultimately but let me
just decide for right now the purpose of
my life as to what it's the love and be
loved us to grow it's to expand us to
make a difference do this is do that
they come up with a purpose which is
what I wants to do at the end of this
tape the start I know it's not the end
all and be all for one tape but I want
to get you started on a mission
statement of purpose statement for your
life you got to have it if you don't at
least have a target if you don't know
what the goal of the game is you don't
know what to decide to do we have all
these choices all these opportunities so
you'll have to choose between something
that's good and bad you have to choose
between something is good and something
that's great but if you don't know what
your purpose is you don't know you value
most of life you can't make an easy
decision all decision making is value
clarification if you don't know where
you're going then you can get there by
any Road you're not gonna know the
difference and everything looks like
great opportunity one of the biggest
challenges in life is choosing focusing
your life deciding what to spend your
time on what to spend your energy on
having a clear purpose that allows you
to do that the second thing you want to
do to make your life work and those who
succeed do this is they have fewer rules
war rules you have about how people have
to be in how life has to be for you to
be happy the last happy you're gonna be
see you know the happiest people those
people say you know every day above
ground is a great day
Happy's people that people find joy in a
smile joy an adventure joy in a simple
action if you find joy in that area then
all the big things are just a big bonus
for you in your life so when you find
yourself starting to react to something
that someone else has done and then you
might want to ask yourself how
significant is this really right is this
so bad is it okay for this person to
have a different opinion a different
view of different feeling than me in
this area in most cases you might say
yeah it is what would you have to
believe in order to be upset that
everybody has to live by your rules well
maybe in some areas that's real
important you may be some others it's
not a significant you just let go of it
have a lot less pain the third thing
that people win the game of life seem to
have in common is they've made the rules
consistent they found the conflicts in
their life when they find them they've
been honest themself and say this is a
total contradiction of what I normally
believe in other areas no more there's
now them to live my life for thing these
people do that make them succeed as they
give themself pleasure whenever they win
even when the world doesn't this is
really important you gotta realize that
sometimes you'll do everything right you
won't get acknowledged so what
acknowledged yourself you got to catch
yourself doing little things right and
give yourself the pleasure you deserve
after all if somebody else tells you hey
great job and that makes you feel good
it's nothing saying great job that makes
you feel good it's when they say great
job you stop and say oh that means I get
to feel good and you send a little
neurotransmitter it allows yourself to
feel the pleasure feeling in your body
why not just give it to yourself so that
you keep yourself on track so you're
always reinforcing good behaviors
excellent behaviors commitments to your
highest values
fifth thing these people have in common
is when they screw up when they don't do
things right when they violate their own
values they violate their own sense of
purpose and life they give themselves a
short burst of pain they say this is not
who I am I stand for more they don't
wait to the world I have to give them
pain that's why they're on track the
sixth thing with these people that win
have in common is that they know that
everybody life has different rules and
so when they get in a relationship with
people they know they've got to have
other people in my life to help succeed
in particular area they try to find out
their rules because if you know it's
most important to people you know what
their rules for life are what their
musts are in life it's a lot easier and
lastly people who succeed a life they've
learned that life has a purpose but they
also at the same time don't take life
too seriously
they don't take themselves too seriously
what's that old funny metaphor why do
angels fly because they take themselves
lately first the bottom line is we've
got to look at life in a different way
now with all this conversation we've had
here about purpose what are you and I
gonna do right now so that you have a
greater sense of meaning but one is I
don't need you just go out and create
this grandiose purpose and write pages
and pages and pages I think that the
simplest things can be the most powerful
things so if you can now close your eyes
and think about what you want to be when
you're gonna grow up go back to a time
when you're 5 6 7 8 9 10 years old but
you want to be back then what you want
to do who are your role models and why
did you want to be that
think about it just for a second your
head as I'm saying this it might be want
to write a few these things down in fact
pretty soon you're definitely gonna want
to write things down so that'd be good
to stop the tape right here and just
think about what your purpose is and
pull out a piece of paper and a pen or a
little computer and let's work together
on this for a second what were some of
the things you wanted to be when you
were growing up when you're a little kid
I remember one of the first things I
wanted to be was an archaeologist now
whatever you wanted to be here's the
question I want to ask you why did you
want to be that in other words what was
the feeling you were hoping to get from
that
what were the sensations what were you
wanting to be and do what were you want
to be get from that when I think back on
I think about what I really want to be
as an archaeologist is I wanted to
discover things and that was the biggest
thing I want to discover things that had
not been asked ever before something new
something unique something different and
I want to share that with people I don't
wanna be a person who we're not
discovered and then shared that
discovery with others they know it's
interesting I'm doing that today
I'm just not sticking my head in the
sand and doing it I'm doing it by
sticking my head in other people's
brains and find out what makes me tick
and what find out what makes me tick and
then sharing some of that but that that
feeling that same feeling that I wanted
then I found a way to do it today in a
new way it's like challenges think about
what was it you really wanted from that
didn't think of something else you
wanted to be when you're growing up I
wanted to also be a police artist later
on remember that you know those guys
that draw those pictures you know and
show people and catch the bad guys and
why did I want to do that what I want to
get from them oh gosh I thought about it
while uh I wanted to create I want to be
creative and and I wanted to help people
I wanted to help people do the right
things I want to tell me father payment
I wanted to catch the bad guys but most
importantly I wanted to create and help
people and guess what I found a way to
do that today different than I
originally thought but the same purpose
is there now maybe it's not the same
purpose for you for all things you want
to do maybe they have a common thread or
maybe they're different threads that are
important what else did you want to be
when you're growing up and why did you
want it what feelings did you hope it
would give you what did you what do you
hope would come from it think for a
second how do they be another one of
mine while you're thinking try and
trigger you know I want to do well I
wanted to definitely be a rock star I
wanted to be able to entertain people to
change their emotional states to use my
voice and my face and my body to give
people more passion in their lives and I
found another way to do that plus I get
to work with some of these people the
other day I got a chance to go to the
Aerosmith concert I kind of grew up
listening to those guys and I found out
the Steven Tyler and some of these guys
are fans of mine as well went backstage
and I met Tim Collins who's their
manager and he told me his phenomenal
story so that years ago in the early 80s
when Aerosmith was in really bad shape
the guys were hooked on heroin and they
were losing everything financially and
the group had broken up but he decided
he's gonna turn it around and he read
two books Think and Grow Rich and a
little book called unlimited power they
said that what he learned there gave him
the inspiration and some of the tools
and strategies that get himself off
heroin and coke and they need a group
intervention and help the other guys do
the same and these guys are now on a
mission they're totally clean they're
Evian water drinking guys that are out
there sharing their rock and roll on
their message and are doing healthfully
like a chance to meet Steven Tyler is
just in
a guy when these guys have been touring
for 23 years giving their all
passionately everyday feel like their
brothers and I was really interesting
cuz he said you know I watch it on TV
all the time I feel like we'll walk on
the same path you know and he said I
listened to your dates he said we'll
really have the same mission so you know
do you think you'd get together us and
do a gig for us so what do you mean he's
like you know the guys on the weekend
but you maybe like do your gig for us so
we can all participate on the weekend as
their a laugh and I pinch myself I sound
cool now I get to do a gig for Aerosmith
I'm not out there rock and rolling but
sort of I am I'm working with the rock
and rollers those funds my point is
maybe you're not doing what you
originally envisioned but maybe you'll
find a way to do it even better if you
have some faith maybe if you keep
developing yourself and you know at
least the emotion you want the
contribution you want to create you'll
find a better way most importantly
before you can find a way you got to
know the essence of what it is you
really want what is that purpose that's
what I'm really asking you about now
with your eyes closed again think about
a situation in your life when you felt
like you're really on a roll you know
the kind of situation I'm talking about
we you just felt incredibly good at
great feelings but things were just
flowing things were effortless when you
thought yourself wow I love this this is
what life's about I love this is it
this is this is what life is really
about can you remember time like that in
your life at any age yo we're all well
you really felt like you're in that flow
huh This Is It this is what life's about
think of a situation like that right now
remember that punch that back into your
mind back into your body like you were
there and look through your own eyes as
you were then when you felt like this is
what life's about and see what you saw
here what you heard what were you doing
what were you feeling
what were the state you're in what were
you experiencing yeah think about it and
tell me what is it and it was there
anything in common with this with some
of the other things you wanted to have
in your life the feelings you wanted to
have maybe you wanted to grow or create
or contributer discover or expand or
challenge what is it love what were the
feelings what were you doing then when
you get a sense of what that was then
think about this think of another
situation in life think of a second one
where you felt like you're on a roll at
some other point in your life when
things were flowing we thought this is
it this is what life's about I love this
think of another time like that to step
into that situation as well
step into it right now and she step in
that situation look around see what you
saw and hear it you're heard that's you
what you were feeling man what's
happening in that moment not just what
you were doing notice what you were
doing were you creating or writing or
speaking and communicating or or
manufacturing something or studying or
learning what were you doing but also
how are you feeling what would the state
you're in and what were you doing for
others if they were involved what other
people involved what was the process
what how are you being and what were you
doing feel in your body is there
anything that's similar between this and
last experience or anything about this
that's similar between this and the
feelings that you wanted for most things
you wanted to be when you're gonna grow
up that's it notice it and capture not
only the idea of this but feeling as
well now one more time think of
something else another time at any age
when you felt like you're on a major
role things are really flowing we felt
incredible you felt like I love this
this is what life's really about this is
it think of another situation like that
right now
and if you step into that situation
right now notice what were you doing
what were you creating what we have
sharing what were you feeling feeling
these feelings think about the purpose
your life if you were gonna say it in a
simple phrase not even paragraphs in
paragraphs simple phrase or a sentence
or two and you're gonna write down the
purpose of my life is to what if you're
gonna do it you're gonna have a couple
simple criteria one it's got to be
stated positive not the personal life is
to stop all the horrible things in the
world no no something positive something
stated in the positive and if it's gonna
be something brief and it was gonna be
something emotionally charged in terms
of its words for you it has to have how
you're gonna be as a person and will be
gonna do and it's got to include not
just other people like I'm gonna change
other people's lives or I'm gonna make
the world better for other people it's
gotta you got to be in your own mission
statement you got to be your own purpose
statement you got to be in there too and
other people don't have a purpose - for
me to be happy coz we're all connected
so if it's you and others being and
doing we even sure what is the purpose
of your life what is it
right now what comes out of your head
not the right answer not the perfect
answer just the answer the purpose your
life is to be and do what for yourself
another just say it out loud just say it
don't even write down first
and you got a pen and paper then write
in that purpose my life just do what say
it again try something keep changing it
and if you write it down each time it'll
give you better saw it I prefer if
you're running down but just come up
with something the
Curtis my life for me Tony Robbins is to
serve God and my fellow man by being a
powerful loving passionate outrageous
courageous strong playful crazy example
of the unlimited possibilities that God
gives when you commit your life to
service when you really focused on
contribution that's my life's about I
know what I feel like I can change the
word slightly here there but I know the
essence of my life and you've got to
know what that is for you that is what
will help you make the decisions that
will give you the motivation to get up
early and stay up late that'll make you
connect with people the way you've never
connected before but you got to know
what it is and it's got to be more than
just you you and others gonna deep
breathe it's gotta be a muscles got to
be intense so go do it right now turn
out the tape and just start writing my
crazy what is the purpose of your life
and when you write something write
another thing cross it out write another
one to keep writing it better and better
to you got something you like them to
turn the tape back on go for it do it
now the purpose of your life is to what
you did turn this thing off didn't you
you're not just sitting there thinking
come on if you write it out it'll be
better with more precision turn off if
you're on your way back then just ignore
the last sentence welcome back daddy you
got something you really like
I hope so I know it's not the end-all
be-all it better not be perfect or I'm
gonna come through this tape and grab
you your job is not to be perfect it's
to be excellent perfection can never
really be achieved in any way if you're
truly a perfectionist then it's never
perfect but it's getting better all the
time so what is the purpose of your life
and how does it feel when you think
about this is the purpose of my life let
me give you one other criteria did you
write it so you can only achieve it once
you die if so change it because we don't
want you have to die to achieve your
purpose which is what some people have
it should be something you can
experience every day know whatever you
do whether you're just sitting at the
lunch counter walking through a grocery
store you're going and conducting your
business I don't care what it is it
should be something you can feel and you
got to find what that is for you and add
a language that at least for now see and
know the goal of the game with that your
life takes on a whole nother dimension
so I should go out over the next month
try something take this purpose
statement and keep it in front of you
put it in the system you use for
managing your time and keeping your
to-do list put it up on the wall nearby
and as you look at it each day don't
just write it and forget about it think
about each day how can I live my purpose
more when you go to make a decision
about doing something and you're not
sure why you're doing it you can always
go back to your purpose you can do it
going into a meeting and already going
to meeting I'm going to me I'm gonna be
powerful loving passion outrageous
playful I'm gonna inspire people to see
what's possible if we really serve all
the people around us that's not how to
figure out you have a guiding principle
no matter what happens
principles don't change the essence of
who you are will not change the
environment they change the vehicles may
change but what's inside of you won't
let me say one final thing to you before
it sends you off they have you take some
more time to work on your mission
statement one is that if you want to
send me your mission statement the
Robbins research I'd love to receive it
I'd love to see how you've lang
the purpose of your life so if you feel
like doing that please do and address it
to me personally the other thing is this
I want you to realize that very often
not getting your dream gives you your
destiny what I mean by that is this so
often as I said when we started this
tape people set up a goal or a demon
they don't get it and then they feel so
disappointed so frustrated sometimes
resentful towards others or to their
Creator or towards themselves are not
accomplishing or achieving it but the
truth of the matter is whatever
something happens you must find an
empowering meaning you must ask yourself
how can I use this if this was to serve
a higher purpose in my life
how would I use it to serve a higher
purpose if this was gonna make me in
somebody more how would I use it to make
me more and very often in life if you
really look back on your life the worst
situations in your life have been the
best if you were willing to trust that
it happened for a reason that somehow
even though this is painful you never
wanted to happen again somehow this is
gonna serve you maybe you were hurt by
someone or some situation but because of
that your kids will never be hurt the
same way you did when you were a child
or maybe you went through some tough
time but because of that you helped
somebody else so they won't have to go
through the same pain you did maybe the
pain made you make a new decision to
send you a brand new direction that
brought you to this destiny I really
truly believe in my heart of hearts that
if we're willing to trust and have faith
and look for answers and actively pursue
them that every human experience
supports us even those that are painful
and I believe we can probably do them
without the pain bullet to pain to
strike or something happens outside your
control which it will
instead of living in fear that that'll
happen someday you want to live for the
sense of certainty that says no matter
what happens I will benefit from it coz
I will look for benefits and therefore I
will find them that simple now I'll give
you a good metaphor you know there's a
great movie I'm sure you recall was
called the Field of Dreams in it they
said if you build it they will come
in the movie Kevin Costner seeks out an
old ban on the name of Doc Graham he's
played by Burt Lancaster and when he
first meets this man he's going to see
him to tell him about a field of dreams
that Kevin has developed a place where
these old men could come back and play
again to be young again to live their
dream Ellie meets doctor and he starts
to talk to him he says I understand that
you only were able to play one inning in
your life because I Graham said well
yeah my whole life's dream was always to
play baseball to be a professional he
said every single day I gave my all I
lived this passion he said you know I
took ground balls and batting practice
and I pushed myself and he said finally
I made it I made it to the big leagues
and the whole season went by without my
being able to play and finally at the
end of the season in the eighth inning
the coach looked over at me and said kid
I want you in right field he said I was
so happy I couldn't believe it I ran out
on the field and he said I stood out
there and right-field waiting for
somebody hit it to me waiting for my
chance and nothing happened then when we
came back in he said my turn to bat
never came and the next year they
without giving me another chance or even
giving me a chance they sent me back to
the minor leagues and he said I couldn't
I just couldn't take it
I couldn't take going through
again so I quit Kevin Costner said oh my
god that's unbelievable what incredible
pain what devastation that must have
destroyed you I mean for any man to be
that close to his dream and have your
dream pass you by as if it doesn't even
know it's you he said that that must
have been the most destructive painful
thing that that that's a total disaster
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