Hey, I'm not wearing any makeup in this video!
Hey everyone, I'm Dana and you're watching Wanted Adventure Living Abroad!
Throughout my life I have had many different relationships with makeup.
There was a time in my life before makeup, when I didn't wear makeup.
There was a time when I was just starting to apply makeup on a somewhat regular basis
and everything about it was so new to me.
There were times in my life when I wore makeup for myself.
There were times in my life when I wore makeup to try to impress others. And there have been
many, many times in my life when I haven't really been so sure if I'm putting on makeup
for myself or for others.
There was even a time in middle school when I bought a really cheap powder compact from
the grocery store because all the cool girls at the bus stop had one and they all pulled
it out and dabbed the powder thing on their face in the morning while waiting for the
bus, and they used the mirror to help them apply their tinted lip balm.
And I wasn't actually really planning on using the powder.
I had no idea about makeup at that point. I just wanted to feel like I fit in.
So I grabbed the cheapest powder that I saw at the store. And it served its purpose.
It didn't matter that I had bought this, like, totally bright orange color.
I wasn't using it anyway. Maybe it was a bronzer, I don't even know. Didn't really matter.
Until one of my best friends at school who did wear makeup tried to touch up her face
with my powder and ended up with this huge orange streak across her face and lots of
questions for me about why I carried around a face powder that was totally, totally not
my color at all. I can't remember now what I said to her.
I don't think I admitted that I'd bought it just to fit in with the girls at the bus stop. I don't know.
I think I just, like, grabbed it and was like give me that. Doesn't matter. You know, put it away.
I can remember my first makeover. It was kind of like in the movies.
I went over to a friend's house at the beginning of high school when I wore very, very little makeup if any.
And she gave me a makeover complete with new clothes and my hair styled and everything.
She even played the song "Pretty Woman" as she gave me the big reveal.
And when I walked out and I saw myself for the first time I teared up.
I teared up because...because I suddenly saw myself...okay in that moment I felt like
I went from a little girl...not to a woman, but not a little girl anymore.
Before the makeover I think I felt like a little girl.
I thought of myself as a little girl.
And suddenly seeing myself like that I didn't look like a little girl to myself anymore.
And I knew that I did not want to go back.
It was like once I had crossed that line I needed to continue to see myself as not
a little girl the next day and the next day and the next day.
But so suddenly there was this panic inside of me because I didn't know how to do that
without the makeup and the skirt and the new shirt and the hair. You know?
And I didn't know how to recreate those things myself.
At the end of the day I had to give my friend back her skirt and her shirt, and that night
when I washed off the makeup and I shampooed my hair, all traces of that look were gone
and I didn't know how to do it again.
I felt like I immediately needed and wanted to throw away all my old, you know,
little girl clothes and get new ones.
And I immediately wanted all the makeup, but I didn't have a clue what to do with it.
And so began many, many afternoons of me wandering up and down and up and down the makeup aisle
in the grocery store trying to figure out what did what, and what I should get,
and then rushing home to see what I could do with it.
Slowly but surely I figured it out.
For a while after that I needed makeup to feel like not a little girl to myself.
And afterwards for another little while I still needed makeup to feel like not a little girl to other people.
And then at some point in college I can recall not always wearing makeup.
Same with when I moved to Europe.
Sometimes I wore some, sometimes I wore a lot, and sometimes I wore none.
In the year or so before launching the Wanted Adventure Living Abroad series I can
look back now and see that I was feeling pretty insecure at that time and I think I began
using makeup once more to help me feel confident in the world.
And then I started the Wanted Adventure Living Abroad series wearing makeup in my videos,
and it just kind of became a thing that I did.
But what started out as what felt to me like a choice, slowly I think morphed into something
that felt less and less like a choice anymore, but rather it was like I needed to put on
makeup before filming because I was scared not to.
The makeup had become some kind of safety shield between me and the world.
And it was a protection that I was not ready to take off until now.
I dipped my toes in the water first on Instagram, filming Instagram stories sometimes
wearing makeup, but also sometimes when I wasn't wearing makeup, just basically filming
whenever I wanted to regardless of if I was wearing makeup or not, and it felt so great!
It just felt so freeing and liberating to be able to turn on my phone and film,
not really concerning myself with having to put on makeup if I didn't feel like it.
And I'd say that's the key phrase here: if I didn't feel like it.
Because sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.
So I would say kind of like with the bra video that I did recently, basically my overall
goal with this here is not to feel like I need to choose between always wearing makeup
and never wearing makeup, but rather I'd like to come to a place in my life where I'm
making a choice to do it.
Where it really feels like a choice for me, not something that I feel pressured into one way of the other.
And I thought that making a whole video here on the Wanted Adventure YouTube channel without
any makeup on might be another good step in the direction of that goal.
So my question for you is: what's your relationship with makeup like?
Please let me know in the comments below.
Thanks so much for watching. Until next time, auf Wiedersehen!
Want to watch another video? Here are two.
And a really, really, really big thank you so much to our patrons on Patreon who help
make these videos possible. Thank you so much for your support.

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