-Thank you. Thank you so much.
I feel like Michelle Obama at the Grammys.
Please.
Please sit down.
-We're a hot crowd.
-You are a hot, hot crowd. Thank you, sir.
-Yikes.
-I love having my dad at the show. It's great.
Well, the 61st Grammy Awards were last night.
And Michelle Obama made a surprise appearance.
Only -- [ Cheers and applause ]
It was great.
The only bigger surprise would be
if President Trump appeared at the Latin Grammys.
That would be -- -Wow.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I also saw that Nancy Pelosi got a standing ovation
at a Grammy party this weekend.
Which was great until she realized
they were all clapping like this.
[ Laughter and applause ]
But I want to say congrats to Cardi B,
who won the Grammy for Best Rap Album.
We love Cardi B.
[ Cheers and applause ]
After she won, Cardi went onstage
and talked about how nervous she was.
Check out what she said.
-Ooh, the nerves are so bad.
Maybe I need to start smoking weed.
[ Laughter ]
-Then everyone in the crowd was like, "You're at the Grammys.
Just take a really deep breath."
[ Cheers and applause ]
You get it?
Let's get to some news.
I read that Congress is offering Trump
$2 billion for his border wall
instead of the $5.7 billion that he asked for.
Which means a lot of immigrants
will just bang their shins on the wall while they hop over.
Tiny.
[ Cheers and applause ]
But Trump was examined by 11 specialists for four hours,
and they said that he's in very good health.
[ Scattered applause ]
Nothing says very good health
like having to be examined by 11 specialists over four hours.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Even E.T. only had five specialists.
[ Light laughter ]
Some more political news.
This weekend, Minnesota senator Amy Klobuchar
announced that she's running for president
in an outdoor rally in the middle of a blizzard.
And this is real. Just take a look.
This is her at the beginning of the rally.
-Now, we don't let a little snow stop us.
-Yeah. Yeah.
And here she is at the end of the rally.
-A chorus of different faiths, races, creeds...
[ Laughter ]
-Wow.
-I think --
[ Cheers and applause ]
I think we have a shot of one of her supporters in the crowd.
Take a look. There, yeah.
-Wow.
-Well, after Klobuchar's event, the President tweeted about it.
And he said, "By the end of her speech,
she looked like a snowman(woman)."
[ Laughter ]
And he was like, "The difference between a snowman
and a snowwoman is where you stick the carrot."
[ Laughter and applause ]
What are you doing?
It's the nose. It's the nose.
Finally, Valentine's Day is this Thursday.
And I saw that if you go to Hooters -- if you go to Hooters,
you can shred a photo of your ex and get free wings.
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's fun until you realize that you got back at your ex
by eating alone at a Hooters on Valentine's Day.
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