(eerie music plays)
- Hey!
What in God's holy graces has happened here?
Ethan, what's going on out there?
Everyone seems more dying-y than usual.
Ahh!
- Hello Todd.
- How do you do that?
- Todd, it's the last day of the festival
and your tweens still aren't using
the hashtag Spurge Explosion.
- It's hard to use the hashtag if you're passing out
from drinking Spurge.
What I really gotta do is get them to drink more water.
- Oh, well there is no more water anymore at Tween Fest.
We are the exclusive liquid of this festival,
so I had my team go ahead and remove all your water.
- But people need water to live.
- Ain't that the truth.
We're also handing out our new product,
Spurge BodyJacked.
- I don't think they need more energy drinks.
- Oh, it's more than just an energy drink.
It's an energy drink slash body spray.
And before you ask,
no, we're not just dumping it here
because it was rejected by the FDA.
- Wait, what is the FDA part?
I have to write this down.
I gotta start covering my ass.
- That's the spirit.
Bye Todd.
- What the.
(upbeat synthesizer)
- Dehydrated teens dropping like flies in the desert heat.
An anonymous rogue named Maddisyn creating chaos
somewhere in the outskirts.
Festival goers are only left with one lingering hope,
the chance to see Tween Fest's headlining act,
Ariana Grande smiling and waving for six seconds.
Otherwise, Tween Fest can only be described
as a complete disaster.
- Heh, heh.
- Bah!
Don't be so glum, Zigbee.
Check this out.
Spurge BodyJacked.
Ha, ha.
Look, I'm sprayin' his bum!
(laughter)
I'm sprayin' his bum 'cause it stinks, mate!
Ha, ha, ha.
- No one sprays me bum!
(can clanks, explodes)
(onlookers laugh, gasp)
- These cans will take our horsin' around to the next level!
- We'll spray the mountain lion with the Spurge,
get him jacked up,
and then sic him on Ariana Grande.
Then, when the kiddies are scared,
we'll throw the exploding cans at 'em.
Fuckin' boom!
(group laughs)
- That's fuckin' brilliant.
It's fuckin' brilliant.
(onlookers laugh)
But listen.
The big prank is gonna be the perfect end to our
MTV Two pilot!
(lion snarls, growls)
- Get out.
- Ahhh! - No!
- Ha, ha, ha. - Yeah!
- No!
- What's his fuckin' problem?
- Mr. Crawford, something horrible's
about to happen at Tween Fest!
- Now what?
- The Prankaninnies are gonna set loose a mountain lion,
and also they have a bunch of exploding cans of Spurge.
With an ending like this,
their MTV Two pilot is for sure
gonna get picked up over mine!
- Oh, my god!
- I know, right!?
MTV Two is never gonna pick up two prank-based
TV shows in one cycle!
I'm screwed!
- No!
Oh, my god!
To the first thing,
we have warn everybody!
Tell your followers!
- I can't!
I deleted all my Zayden profiles.
I'm Zigbee Bolloway now.
- You're Zigbee what the fuck?
- I'm an Australian prankster now.
- All right, who has as many followers
as you used to have before you changed your name?
- I guess we count our regular followers
and her in follower followers.
- Maddisyn.
Ahh, that's not gonna work.
She's not gonna take my phone call.
- She might not take your call,
but she might take a call
from one of my masterfully created characters.
- Uh, sorry, I don't really know
some random ass blind guy.
- She fell for it.
It's all yours.
- Thank you.
Honey, it's your dad.
Don't hang up.
Don't hang up, sweetheart.
Please.
Tween Fest is in danger.
- Good.
- No, no, no.
Real danger.
Mountain lions.
Exploding soda cans.
Disrespectful Australians.
But, honey, if you reactivate your accounts
and warn everybody,
you could be saving literally thousands of lives.
Most importantly, Ariana Grande's.
(dramatic didgeridoo plays)
(lion snarls)
(mumbles)
- Shhh, shhh, shhh.
Time to boney up.
(laughter)
Come on.
(laughter)
Rough!
- [Announcer] Tween Fest,
you are just one minute away from six seconds
of Ariana Grande.
- Look, Maddisyn Crawford's back on line.
(dramatic synthesizer plays)
- Oh god!
We get outta here!
- [Announcer] Give it up for Ariana Grande!
- Wait, no.
I'll take my chances.
I don't wanna miss the smiling or the waving.
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic music plays)
- Time to let him loose.
(dramatic music plays, crowd cheers)
(lion snarls)
- Back!
- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
(lion snarls)
(crowd screams)
(lion growls)
(can explodes, victim screams)
- That was only five seconds!
This is bull shit!
(crowd screams)
(cans explode)
- Where do you think you're goin' little buggers?
Whew!!
(can explodes)
- Comin' through!
Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!
- All right, all right.
I'll stop the Prankaninnies.
You get that mountain lion.
- Right!
- Wait a minute.
What?
- Whew!
(crowd screams, cans explode)
- Riley!
What the hell are you doing, man?
This isn't a prank.
This is terrorism!
- Pranks and terrorism are the same word in Australia.
In our country,
jackass and ISIS are both considered lovable scamps!
Hey, I've got a surprise for ya, Zigbee.
- Ha, ha, ha, ha!
- Zayden!
- Lexii!
- Ay, ay, ay.
Be careful there, Zayden.
One false move and Izzy and your little Sheila
over here go kaboomy boomy.
- Yeah!
I'm willing to kill myself if it's for a quality chortle!
(laughter)
- Zayden!
- Ah!
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no!
(can explodes)
Ahhhh!
- Come on!
- Ahhhh!
I'm blind!
Excuse me!
I'm blind now!
Excuse me!
Society!
Are you racist against blind people?
Why is nobody helping the blind man?
- Excuse me.
I will help you, Zayden Ostin Storm.
- You helped a blind man.
- Of course, I did.
Because I'm in love with him.
- Come here.
- Here kitty, kitty.
Hey, kitty.
I don't know how to make that noise.
Grrr.
Get in the bag.
(Prankaninnies laugh)
- Now wait, wait, wait!
We've each got one can left.
- I'll bet you a prime minister's dime
I can hit that stiff shirt before you do.
(laughter)
- [Todd] What the?!
(cans explode)
Uhhh.
Ohhhh.
Where am I?
- Dad, look out!
(lion growls)
- Ahhh!
Maddisyn!
- Wait, hang on! - Do something!
- Oh!
Hang on.
I'm gonna Google how to scare away a mountain lion!
- Google faster!
(lion growls)
Back boy!
Nice kitty.
- It says to scare away a mountain lion
make a loud and unpleasant noise.
- Maddisyn.
- What, what?
- A loud unpleasant noise!
- What?
Yeah!
Oh.
♫ It's Saturday night
♫ And I'm with my friends
♫ I hope the party never ends
(lion whimpers)
- Honey!
♫ Hangin' out
It's working.
Maddisyn, he hates your song, Honey!
I'm so proud of you!
(lion roars)
♫ Oh, Mr. Mountain Lion
♫ Please don't kill my dad
- He's leaving!
Maddisyn, I love you! - Yay!
- Gotta get outta here.
Gotta unpin myself.
Try.
Whoa.
Actually, this thing's really light.
Wish I had known that at the beginning.
(engine revs, Prankaninnies whoop and holler)
- Dammit!
The Prankaninnies are getting away.
- I'd love to give them a taste of their own medicine.
- Hey, throw this at them.
This Spurge thing.
- Yeah!
I'd never be able to hit 'em from this distance.
- But we can.
(big horns play)
Give me that Spurge can!
(big horns play)
Locked!
- And loaded!
(explosions)
- Yeah!!
- Boom.
Boosh!
Boosh!
- Well done, Dudes!
All right!
- Hey.
- A little too much huggin'.
That's all right.
(speedy music plays, phone rings)
Hold on, I gotta get this.
- Hel.
- Hey, Todd.
- Hey, Sophia.
- Had to hop a chopper.
Listen.
I don't know how you do this,
but hash tag Spurge Explosion is trending
all over Twitter and Instagram.
Listen to some of these postings here.
Pray for hash tag Spurge Explosion victims
And this one.
How can we prevent another hash tag Spurge Explosion?
Mission accomplished, my friend.
- You do know, though, that in this case,
explosion refers to actual explosions.
Spurge, your company, is complicit in several deaths.
- Trending is trending, Todd.
- Wow, you're a bad person.
- Sounds great.
Listen, I'm on my way to Spurge Taiwan.
We dumped a crate of expired Spurge
into the ocean,
and apparently it awakened some sort of sea beast.
You keep that on the DL.
Right, my friend?
- Okay, bye bye Sophia.
Thanks for not suing.
- [Sophia] For now.
- Sea beast?
(twangy guitar plays)
- Dad, let me give you a hand with that.
- Oh, great.
That would be a big help, honey.
Why don't you go pick up
those charred Spurge cans over there.
I'm gonna concentrate on these tufts of mountain lion fur.
And listen, if you run across one of those eggs
that the Dabble Dudes have been laying,
do not touch it.
- Whoa!
Dad, catch.
- Not that, stop that!
Honey, this is gross.
- Eww!
Don't touch it!
- No, no, no, no, not me!
I don't want it. - Ahh!
(laughter)
- Put it down.
That's disgusting.
You think you're gonna keep singing?
- You know what?
No.
I don't wanna be a singer.
It turns out that all my music is good for
is scaring away mountain lions.
- That and saving my life.
- Bravo, Mr. Crawford!
Bravo!
That was a excellent Tween Fest.
- I'm sorry.
You are?
- My name is Preston Stevens, Sr.
Stop The Preston's father.
I've been watching my son's live coverage
of Tween Fest,
and I see potential.
Before I rush Preston to the hospital
for severe heat exhaustion,
(groans)
I wanted to spitball an idea your way.
You see, I just became acting CEO
of King Majesty Royal Crown Cruises.
How would you like to take Tween Fest
out on the high seas?
(coughs)
- Fuck no.
(heavy beat synthesizer plays)
♫ Tween Fest
♫ Tween Fest
♫ Tween Fest
♫ Stick to your one thing
♫ Tween Fest
♫ Tween Fest
♫ Excuse me
♫ Excuse me
♫ Everyone
♫ Suck on my fuckin' tee shirt gun
♫ Spurge
♫ Oh, my skin is on fire
- Well, we're gonna go.
Lexii's gonna drive because I'm blind now.
(phone rings)
Hello.
MTV Two?
Yeah, yeah.
I'd love to be the world's first blind prank show host.
Yeah.
How's Blindiculousness for a title?
♫ Get out before Glendale burns
♫ That, that, that feeling wins
♫ You're being real mean
♫ That's the perfect day prank
♫ Walk faster
♫ Walk faster
(slow piano plays)
(sigh)
- I know he'd be proud of you.
- I love you, Juicetine.
- I love you, Dusty DelGrosso.
- Hi, Dusty.
I'm in Hell now.
Everyone who vapes goes to Hell.
Whaaa, he, he, he, he, he, he!
(vault door closes, metal squeaks)
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