-Welcome back to the show! It's been too long.
It feels like home.
-Thanks for having us back, Jimmy.
-Please. You and the Beastie Boys.
Bodega Boys and the Beastie Boys.
-You know what I'm sayin'? -It's crazy.
-Have you ever met the Beastie Boys?
-Backstage. -Yeah.
-We tried to sell them our rap album, but they were like, "Nah."
-They were like, "Nah, chill." -They didn't like it at all.
Are you big Beastie Boys fans?
-You have to -- If you're from New York --
Like, the Beastie Boys
are, like, one of the founding elements of hip-hop.
Like, you'll get into a fight with a college student.
They'll be like, "The Beastie Boys are wack."
You'll be like, "You don't know hip-hop, bro!"
-[Bleep]...hip-hop!
-[ Laughs ] Oh, my God. Dude, you're not on Showtime yet.
You can't say... -It is tradition.
Every time we come here. -Every time you...
Please. You're not on Showtime yet.
-Sorry, guys. Is there any children here? I apologize.
-No, there aren't. Actually, it's a good segue.
Let's talk about the Showtime show.
-Let's talk about the Showtime show.
-Do you know when it starts yet?
Do you know what it is yet? Do you know what's happening?
-We can't tell you when it starts, but, I mean,
it's gonna be a great show.
We've got some great people coming up.
It's the first late-night show on Showtime,
and we actually have --
We signed a band to be on it named The Roots.
And I don't know if they told you they're coming over.
-Wait, wait, wait. The Roots are gonna be your band?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-No, no. Wait. No. Guys! -[Bleep]
-You got the new address, Quest?
-They're kidding. They're kidding.
-My guy. Nah. -They're making a joke.
-We're sending the van over on Monday.
-You don't know what --
What's it going to be like? Is it going to be like this?
-It's going to be fire. -Do you have any guests yet?
-You. -Give us some spoilers.
Yeah. I'll come on. -You got to -- Come on, Jimmy.
-I'll definitely come on. -Come on, Jimmy.
-I'm in. I'm definitely coming on.
-We got you, we got Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
and Tupac on the first episode.
-Oh, perfect. Oh, my God. A great show.
-We got a hologram.
-I felt like when you first came on our show,
you were very popular, but I think since then
you've taken it to the next level.
So congratulations because --
I saw a big collaboration you guys did with Nike.
-Yeah. -I mean, wait.
-Look how sexy. Look how sexy. Look at that.
-Look at that. -Whoo!
-That's all real. That's not CGI.
-That is totally airbrushed. -You can't see it right now,
but that's how my eye really -- -That is so airbrushed.
-No, no, that's just a lot of baby oil.
That is a lot of baby oil. That's all it is.
-How cool is that?
And now let's talk about November 11th.
You're playing Madison Square Garden.
-Yeah.
-Some people say the Hulu Theater.
-Don't say that. -Just say Madison Square Garden.
Yeah, we're playing the Garden. We're not saying Hulu Theater.
-But it is in the Hulu Theater.
-It's Garden-adjacent. -But it's the Garden.
It's still the Garden. -Garden-adjacent?
-It's still the Garden. -Like, we're definitely putting
Madison Square Garden on our résumé,
if you know what I'm saying. -You know what I mean?
-But what is -- How big is the Hulu Theater?
-It's enormous. It's like 50,000 seats.
-That's bigger than Madison Square Garden.
-We didn't fact-check that, but, yeah.
It's about 5,000 people, but it's a big deal.
It's the New York Comedy Festival.
We're gonna be out there. Hilarious.
We're throwing babies in the crowd. Come through, Jimmy.
-What are you talking about? He's not -- He's kidding.
-All kinds of babies. -No, no, no.
That's not the problem with that. Yeah.
-You got to catch them, though. If you drop them, you got to go.
-That's a big deal.
[ Laughter ] That is a big deal.
You're doing Hulu Theater November 11th.
Go catch these dudes live.
And then let's talk about -- It's Halloween here in New York.
Happy Halloween. -Yeah. Yeah.
-I appreciate you wearing a little orange and black.
I don't know if you planned it. -I had no idea it was Hallo--
I woke up like every New Yorker does like,
"Why do you all have costumes on? Why? What's going on?"
-Why is everybody wearing a "Scream" mask?
-But you didn't celebrate Halloween in the Bronx?
-I mean, every day in the Bronx is Halloween basically, so...
it's not a big deal. -But what do you do?
What do you do in Halloween in the Bronx?
-You're allowed to wear --
There's only two costumes you can wear in the Bronx.
There are "Dead Presidents" face paint
or a "Scream" mask that you get from a dollar store.
-And that's it. -My big thing is --
It's a big holiday for buying eggs, if you know what I'm saying.
-Yeah. -Oh, yeah.
-Also, do you guys have toilet paper here?
-Yes. No, I don't think so.
-I might need a couple rolls when I leave, 'cause, you know,
I got to do a little decorating, if you know what I mean.
-Heh heh heh. You know what I'm sayin'?
-But that's -- You do that -- Do you still do that now?
You don't do that.
-Get into a little mischief. You know what I'm sayin'?
-Well, he has four kids, so he has to --
He can't have his kids be soft, so he has to take them out
and teach them the ways of the street on Halloween.
-That's right. So I got --
The little ones go trick-or-treating.
I got four. 7, 5, 3, and 1.
-Free lotto numbers. -You know what I'm sayin'?
7 and 5, I'm taking to the Bronx
and we're going to throw frozen eggs at passerby.
-Frozen? Oh, my God.
-Maybe fill a Super Soaker with bleach or Nair.
-Oh, my God!
You got to teach the kids, right, while they're young.
-I love how he just admitted to several felonies.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Do not do any of that stuff
'cause I want to have you back on.
We love you guys. Congrats on the Showtime show.
Come back when that's on, and I'll be on that show, as well.
-Thanks for having us, Jimmy. -I love you guys.
Desus and Mero. Every time. Desus and Mero!
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