MCO - Heart (Original Mix)
All I remember is that I was (in) third grade…
…we didn't know what was happening.
One day school teacher said,
"Don't come to school anymore. We'll notify you what to do next."
So we didn't go to school.
And we stayed home a few days.
And my home at that time was on (the) main street in that city,
so it was a major street. Whoever goes from South to North
like Seoul, Daejeon, all those big city people with their bags and things,
In (a) few days, or maybe a couple of weeks,
father arranged a truck - (small) semi-truck.
So all my sisters and brothers
with our lunch and some luggages,
we got on. Father sent us to the country-side relatives.
We stay there a couple months and hopefully parents join us,
but they couldn't come.
Because as (an) elder of church, my father
he couldn't leave. As a moral obligation, I would say.
But three of us girls, me and my two older sisters,
and that NakDong River - we tried to cross.
But that time the Red Army (communist party)
(were) among there already.
So the military, probably the U.S. Air Force,
destroyed the bridge so people couldn't pass through… along with the enemies.
And we had some money so we tried to get on the boat…
the row boat, on the river.
(The) third day-
-every day we went out. But…
who is going to give a seat to 8 year old, 11 year old girls?
Everybody was fighting for the boat.
Third day
miracle happened.
My father… we heard my father-
my father had a very strong voice.
We heard our father calling our names.
So among the hundreds of thousands of refugees
trying to cross the border, trying to cross the river,
we met our father there.
Because the bridge was destroyed, the water was really high
and very strong force (current) running.
He crossed the NakDong River in the dark
six times.
One girl, one bag, (and he) crossed, swimming.
So he started from here, but half-swimming half just floating
and get to the other side, (through the) river, (bringing the) bag and one girl.
And came back swimming.
So back and forth six times.
And many men with short height couldn't make it
so they just… drowned.
But father was big and very strong, physically very active… he was a very strong man.
Anyway, that's how we crossed the NakDong River.
Going back home that winter,
we left the house in July I think, with only a couple of clothes - summer clothes.
Coming back to October, winter is coming.
Oh boy, cold and hungry.
And the following three years, I remember I ate bo-ri-bap (barley rice).
You know, rice is white. Bo-ri-bap is dark.
Mixed is fine, but we couldn't afford white rice.
Bo-ri-bap everyday, three meals a day. Bo-ri-bap.
So after I came to U.S. now all of the good medical advice says,
"You've got to eat whole barley." Never, never will I eat it.
Even if it's all good and nutritious and whatever, I don't like bo-ri-bap.
Because that reminds me of the three years after I returned home.
And then… we never had a financial recovery.
It was down, down, down…
But my father's strong faith in God saved us, I think.
All the family got together and diligently worked and did school work.
All girls and including my brothers were very good in school.
That was my mother's pride.
(We were) that hungry, and that poor, but everybody went to school
One thing my mother wanted:
that all her daughters go to school. As much as we can afford.
Because her lifetime dream was going to school.
She never had the chance to go to school.
Grandparents, her parents could afford it.
Because the uncles, my mother's three brothers,
went overseas to study.
But my mother and her two sisters
never had a chance to go to school because grandpa was so rigid, traditional disciplinarian.
`Daughters shouldn't go outside of the house gate.'
So since she (my mother) had six daughters,
she wanted to achieve her childhood dream through us.
So not only did we go to school, basic (primary) school,
but colleges, graduate work, even in my case to study theology in grad school.
I came to the U.S. in 1973.
That was the year…
…Korea in general, was a very oppressive society.
(It happened) gradually, of course, with the police and politics, even though I wasn't much of a politically sensitive woman…
But the whole atmosphere… including the national referendum,
(the policy) to extend the law so the president could run the government in power forever
So that was one of the reasons I left the country.
And fortunately, my oldest sister emigrated to the U.S. 5 years before I came.
She put in a petition for me.
And also, my mother allowed- gave me her blessing,
"Okay. America is the country of freedom,"
and even though she didn't go to school, she has quite a good idea.
She was, I would say, a woman with wisdom.
Even though she didn't get a formal school education.
So she gave me her blessing to send me to the U.S.
That time, 1973, people couldn't even imagine coming to visit family back and forth.
So it could be our last separation.
But she said, "Go to the land of freedom, land of opportunity,
and open your heart to the full potential you have. God bless you."
So with one child, I came to the U.S.
Husband came along. Actually, he came ahead of me by a few months.
But he couldn't adjust to studying plus the American life…
So he gave up. He quit.
He wanted to go back, and I wanted to stay.
There we separated. Years after, he died in Korea.
Money was a big problem, of course. Anybody can imagine.
But I wanted to study.
So I went to seminary in the U.S. and all the jobs, like
seminary faculty members' home cleaning, on some occasions I even got a job in the Indiana Senate.
Coming to the U.S. was one big jump for me.
And also joining the Presbyterian Church of U.S.A.
That helped my ministry, my spiritual formation.
I thought I was choosing (making my own decisions).
But all the way, looking back now, it's God's providence.
And I could tell my daughter,
even though she's an architect- a completely different business (than me),
I could die a witness, seeing your grandfather, your grandmother's dream
and their hope, and their passion, loving God -
fulfilled through them, fulfilled through me, and I hope you carry on.
My name is Myung Ja Yue,
and this is my Korean American story.
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