( 24 Reasons Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark & The Mummy Are The Same Movie )
(audio) Long ago in Egypt, a pharaoh left behind a powerful artifact hidden deep somewhere
in a secret chamber.
Fast forward to present day and we discover the artifact's been missing for nearly 3000
years (audio).
No one has come close to finding the object, but there's this one researcher who's
an expert in Egyptology that may be able to connect the dots.
The researcher's faith in history outweighs his or her faith in magic.
This is a disadvantage for the good guys because this character doesn't believe in the supernatural
(audio).
The researcher finds an artifact and gives it to this one guy who works at the museum
(audio).
After this, the main characters set out for an action packed exploration.
It's dangerous to travel alone so the researcher recruits a teammate.
The new teammate owns this metal circle thing.
They're not sure exactly what it does, but it's pretty obvious they won't be able
to access the missing artifact without it.
What was supposed to be a business trip ends up being for pleasure.
Both of the main characters start falling in love and you can't blame the hero because
on a scale from 1-10, the girl is easily an even number.
Some of her most noticeable qualities include the fact that she looks good in the 1930s
lingerie she wears and if she wasn't an alcoholic, he would've probably proposed
by now (audio).
These men dressed in all black are after the girl.
Their stone cold killers and show no compassion.
The only reason the hero isn't scared of them though is because they constantly bring
knives to gun fights.
One night, the woman is minding her own business and a man in black breaks into her room asking
for the metal circle thingy.
She acts dumb like she doesn't know what's he's talking about.
The men threaten to kill her, but the hero barges in the room and starts shooting up
the place.
The bad news is the gun fight starts a fire and the whole place burns down, but the good news
is only the bad guys get hurt. One of the bad guys gets ahold of the metal circle and for
a second, it look likes he's going to get away, but as soon as he gets set on fire,
he drops it like it's hot.
The irony.
The good guys travel to a city in Egypt.
When they get there, the race is on to find the long lost artifact.
The good guys and the other guys are on a journey to find the same thing and whoever
gets it first, wins basically.
The hidden destination is pretty tricky.
You have to be at the right place at the right time to find it.
When the sun rises to a certain point and you're in a certain location, the sunlight
points you in the right direction.
It's cool, but it's stuff like this that makes you thank God for creating Google Maps.
Both of the teams arrive to their destination and the good guys start digging.
If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the other team finding the artifact first
because the other team hired diggers for a low price so the odds are definitely in their
favor.
Yes, there's strength in numbers, but just like Jim Carrey, numbers lie.
Same thing happens here when the good guys realize the diggers are digging in the wrong
spot (audio).
At the base of the site, they find this hidden capsule.
When they pop the top, a whole bunch of dirty smoke comes out.
They were better off leaving it closed because now the world is heading for a disaster of
biblical proportions like the first Ghostbuster movie (audio).
Things take a turn for the worst when the bad guy gets what he wants.
That's when everyone starts dying for no reason.
There's a wild car chase and instead of solving their differences amongst themselves,
the main character forces the driver's foot on the gas and the car speeds up and runs
over bystanders who have nothing to do with situation.
The team gets attacked by some mad men in the public square.
They try to fight everyone off, but they're outnumbered and the girl gets kidnapped and
there's nothing the hero could do about it.
The prisoner is bought to the site they found the artifact.
The hero uses explosives to break through a wall to save her.
On the other side of the wall, the girl is surrounded by dead people and it's scarier
than the Thriller video.
Evil is about to win until one of the characters opens the golden artifact and all hell breaks
loose.
Spirits come out of nowhere and swoosh take the bad guy's soul away.
The lovebirds live and every kiss begins with K, but usually ends with a baby nine months
later, which is why the next film in the franchise starring both parents reveal she had a baby.
Those are 24 reasons these movies are the same.
You agree?
Yes, no, maybe so?
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