So this is a little bittersweet, but welcome
to the season finale of The Girl Tribe.
More power to all the girls out there,
a part of Miss Malini's Girl Tribe.
Is it true that the women still get
paid a lot less in the industry?
Not me.
You get paid the right amount?
Ya!
I get paid at par, if not more.
But then, that's also because I've not done a film with
Salman Khan or Shahrukh Khan.These actors
who've had... who we've seen since childhood,
who have an empire. So, I honestly feel like
because I've not faced this.
And I know for a fact on several projects the male stars,
if the female's been bigger, have been paid less.
I know of a couple of those instances too.
I personally feel like box office respects,
Bollywood respects Box Office.
If you can put bums in the seat,
if you have credibility to give a market,
you know some kind of return on investement,
then you're good.
I think that's what decides your pay.
Now that you've gotten to this point
of evolution in your life, and your relationships
and your career.
Looking back, if you could tell
that Sonali who was about to quit,
to have a baby.
What's the one thing you would tell her,
and I'm sure there's a lot of women,
who need that advice.
So you know, I'm really hoping that I didn't
totally, totally quit it.
Yeah.
In the sense, I was an actor,
I was in a certain brain space,
and I did certain kind of roles.
I think I've just evolved to doing different things.
I started doing television,
and in which I could manage my child
and I could manage the home and I could do it.
And I still continue.
I think, bookclub and everything
is also an extension of that.
It's yeah, absolutely.
Because you know, somewhere you are in public life,
you're a celebrity.
How do you use it in a certain way, because your brain
has been used to working for so long.
You need to use it.
So... that's how these various things
and different, different things come up.
And I think from there, I'll always keep finding new parts.
And I'm sure I haven't still found exactly
what it is that I want to do.
So, I think there's a lot's more,
lot's more that I have to learn.
And lot's more that I'm gonna find.
Yeah.
So I was scrolling through your Instagram,
Yeah.
and I love it.
And you know, I actually went and saw that song
with the green little alien.
Dame Tu Cosita
Which is amazing and then
I saw this character, this Komal and her boyfriend.
Komal is really nice.
So wait. So Komal, is amazing
she always tells her best friend
about Shashi who's her boyfriend,
who's also a drug dealer.
Hmmm..yeah, hmmm...
So you're talking about the fact that he's a drug dealer.
You're talking about the fact that they hook up.
Were you scared or did you get any backlash for that?
No, not at all.
I generally always put out what I know
or what I've experienced.
Now, I may not be like the character,
but the character... atleast the one's I create myself
they don't have those kind of barriers.
Ki main yeh nahi kar sakti, woh nahi kar sakti.
Because the fact is that,
most people have a rocking sex life.
Whether or not they talk about it.
Sure.
Urban life has it's own manifestation
I mean look at the population...
I like how we pretend nobody has sex.
Everyone is doing it.
Yeah.
So... And this is such a normal part of your life.
And yeh bhi ek stereotype hota hai na
ki Komal jaisi ladki ka boyfriend nahi hoga.
Kyun nahi hoga boyfriend?
Hoga.
Komal toh bohot hi kameeni hai.
How do you know?
Is it because, It's like a secretion...
that's something that's exiting your body.
Like what is the reason?
I think, people are uncomfortable with the
behind the scenes
of a women's sexuality.
Like I think they are very comfortable with
like put on the hot clothes and go seduce people.
But then, they're not okay with what goes on inside.
Yeah...
They don't want to deal with it.
What is actually reverse for men is...
their erections are super chill.
Yeah.
Erections are like part and parcel of culture.
Where as Lipstick Under My Burkha, a women
just fantasizing is like this is...
We need to censor this.
What can you do to, just let them know
that women are people.
That's all the battle is.
So what happens within the industry?
Did you feel there was support for you?
Uhh... Not really.
Because unfortunately when I went underground,
uh, I had lot of friends I used to party with, hang with...
Yeah
And nobody really... I fell of the wagon.
So they stopped you know,
they didn't really call.
But that is the way, that's the game.
If I get back in and I start you know
wearing the right clothes.
Then suddenly everybody will be...
And I start getting seen or someone post's
a picture of me and is like...
I'll be invited right back in and
it's all a sham and it's all a click.
And it's all this little, you know like a tribe.
Yeah.
And everybody...
Not the same kind of tribe.
Yeah.
No, but it's like this mutual admiration society.
And unfortunately everybody wants to aspire to be it.
So everybody wants to be in it.
And then...
You don't wanna rock the boat by doing anything.
So it's just... But it's what works.
So why is it wrong?
Are people like always like worried to like
take up an argument with you?
No, because I...you know it's interesting
especially when my team and I sit together,
bcause we're all lawyers
and then we'll be like but what did this sentence mean.
And I really take into account, the things
that come out of my mouth.
Yeah.
So I hold myself to account for everything that I say.
And very often, if I falter,
if I say something wrong,
I'm okay being called out on that as well.
Because I know that there's a lot unlearning
even I have to do.
I am very okay with unlearning,
being called out where I falter
because I still have a lot to learn.
If you say something that's sexist or inappropriate,
I will call you out, I will keep calling you out.
If you refuse to listen, I will excuse myself
from said situation.
But, like I said in every situation and in every space,
I hold myself to accountability.
I will demand for better from people around me.
If demanding for better makes you uncomfortable,
and you don't want to be around me?
That's okay, I'll survive, I'll live.
I want to know, aap ke life main koi change aaya hai,
in finding love and aap ko kya lagta hai?
Finally, I'm going to say this today.
So, I disclosed my identity in 2005.
Since 2005, I have a boyfriend.
Wow.
Still...I... Still we're together.
Yeah... That's so nice. Aur woh aap ko chatein hain
ki aap sex change karayein...
But they're okay, he's okay?
Even if I want to do and then also, if he's okay.
The matter is money, the sex change operation is
like too costly.
Whenever I have got money then I will do.
Definitely I will do.
Yeah?
Does it make you want to have children,
not wanna have children?
Or does it not affect that decision?
It doesn't affect that decision at all.
I've always been very maternal.
Like right from my childhood,
I don't know whether it's because
of the experiences that I had.
But I've always been very protective, very maternal.
Would I want to have children?
I think, that's a question that I'm asking myself.
From 21 till about 32,
Malini, I think physically I was... I craved children.
I remember holding other people's children
and crying because I wanted a baby so badly.
Right?
But I didn't have a child then.
But once I've... and I think and it's more a biological thing.
Also, because you kind of go through that
your body is like releasing these hormones
and you're going crazy.
Also, I felt that physical need deeply.
But, in the recent past, I find that
I desire kids but I don't believe I need to procreate
or may have one of my own.
I'm more open to the idea of adopting a child.
Because I think that there's just too many human beings
on this planet.
There's so many.
I don't know whether this is the kind of world,
I mean while the world is as magical as it is,
I don't know whether the environment
that we are in right now is, is generally conducive
to bringing a new child, a new life.
And it really bothers me that so many people
and even women themselves think that
okay now, the clock is ticking.
You know,
I've got a career and everything but that's not enough.
You know I have to have kids and it like drives me crazy
because people come up to me and say...
So, when are you going to settle down?
And I was like what do you mean?
When are you going to have kids?
And I was like well my buisness is my baby.
And they're kinda like, okay, you're crazy.
So you know and....all this pressure to do that.
And even women themselves feel this way.
So I don't know how to change that or why that is.
It's entrenched in our culture, somewhat.
And whether you agree with it or not,
there's also a kind of momentum
that just goes along with that,
also as the norm, as completely acceptable.
The only way you can possibly change it is
in your individual story.
Yeah.
And hope that has a positive impact
on others, you know.
First we thought, you know,
that okay, how do you spread this information
that it's not okay.
And you must teach children
at a certain age about violence and not...
Because you have to teach the boys, I don't know...
Absolutely.
At what age they turn into
people who are sexist?
It's so gradual, right?
I mean I have a son, he's going to be 8.
You know this little son that's gonna
probably become this very masculine man,
that we are having to deal with today.
And he's going to also be conditioned
by those pressures that you have to not cry,
you have to be the bread winner,
you have to be this macho guy you know.
All of those things that men also suffer.
And already there are people around him,
who sometimes say, "Don't cry like a girl."
What does that even mean?
And we have these long conversations
about what does it mean. What can girls do.
What can boys do.
"Mamma, I don't want anything pink."
You go enter a toy store,
they'll first tell you boy or a girl.
I'm like how does it matter?
Give me gender neutral toys.
You know...so I have a doll,
we have a kitchen set,
we do gardening , we do pottery, we do...
whatever is seen as a little softer things.
But we've got to make our boys more sensitive.
And you know, they need to appreciate
and understand the world
needs to be a more equal place.
So I think it's just as difficult or as challenging.
I'm gonna ask you before you go,
to please put a pledge up, on my wall of fame.
So I'm inspired everyday when I see it.
I want to keep finding ways to tell our stories.
I love that.
To be an uncensored women.
Hashtag, no filter.
Reduce, reuse and recycle.
To remove this term female comedian
from the online dictionary.
I just want equality for everyone.
To unapologetically speak up and demand for better for
the women and children of our country.
Be...open...
to life.
Let's all live a real, unfiltered life.
To raise my boy...
to look at the world...
with compassion...
and...
empathy.
Being my best self.
Going for the goals and coming through,
without worrying about intimidating anybody.
Please pin this up on my wall of fame.
Thank you.
And that's a wrap for season 1 of The Girl Tribe.
It's been such a wonderful journey so far.
What started as just a Facebook group,
just a small space for women to talk freely,
has turned into something so close to my heart.
I've been blessed to have this platform,
this show as an opportunity to make a real change.
And I hope you've enjoyed immersing
yourself, in real conversations,
as much as I did.
Don't forget to show your love by joining me
on Facebook at Malini's Girl Tribe.
Share your thoughts with women all over the country,
so that we can learn and make a
difference for the generations to come.
I'll see you very soon,
till then, remember, let your vibe attract your tribe.
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