Hi guys, okay, I've got a little I found another place where I was like
I've been kind of journaling a little bit since 2014 and what is that?
That's four years I had to figure it out on my fingers yeah four years
So, this is from 2014 November 16th of 2014 and I put I had a strange dream
My grandma will came to me that my grandma's name was Mabel will
She had a hole through the bridge of her nose
I
Kind of forgotten about this dream there was a slight
Boozing. She handed me a straight
piece of jewelry I
Take off the clasp and put the jewelry through her nose and then secure it
When she was alive my dad and grandpa would not let her get her ears pierced because she was diabetic
It was fun to see grandma with her piercing through grandma's piercing was through her nose. I
wondered
What the meaning was?
So looked up piercing dreams on the Internet the nose represents
Curiosity related to issues that may be going on. I just found that so interesting because my grandma was a teacher
Well, actually she was a special education teacher and it sounds like I think my dad had said she was the first or second in
the state of Iowa and
so she was very a very curious person and
Sometimes when I was a little kid and
She was talking about wanting to get her ears pierced
it was like it was kind of like my dad and my grandpa I
am sure they were trying to be as well intended as they could but they were
Like shaming her and bullying it was kind of like that piling on
related to the information when she kept saying she wanted to get her ears pierced and
My dad grandpa would tell her no and my grandma at that time was she was probably my age
she could have been a little younger but I'm gonna say she was my age and
they kept telling her no because that's the information that was out that anybody who
was diabetic
Piercings were nasty. That's what they were putting out. They were nasty. And anybody who was diabetic
could not have piercings and
but even at the time though - it was sort of
against
Church
You know
You know, they just put out this information that people with piercings were nasty and things like that, you know
and so even though I
did have my ears pierced and so did my sister, you know, so it was one of those things that
we did get to have our ears pierced and I
even took the initiative myself to put in second piercings myself when I was in probably in the
Eleventh grade or so?
I don't think that I don't know if you can still see him or not because I had him for a long time and
then I
Don't know if they're open or not anymore because I haven't put earrings in in such a long time
What but I
Don't know if you can see him or not
But anyway, I put the second one in myself because I wanted him double pierced
My mom told me no
So I went ahead and did it myself and then somehow oh my hair was long
So I hit him so she couldn't see I hit him and she I fell I hit him for like two years
Two years or more than that. Actually, I don't think she ever knew
So she didn't pay that close of attention to my ears, I guess
I mean because she's like no teeth one on each side is enough
And so I just took the second set of earrings myself because I wanted to have two
And I didn't see anything wrong with it
I didn't think people were nasty because like everybody in high school had peers sings and you know, and that was the same thing
I even thought with tattoos. I mean they've just disseminated this information for a long long time
About people who had body artwork or anything, you know, it's it's sad
It's just sad and to think that my grandma and I kind of remember her
You know watching and feeling sad for her because it's like my dad and my grandpa it's like the piling on you know
when I and when I say piling on it's like
It's like the football player who's at the bottom and then they just pile on and pile on and it's like no
You're gonna make yourself sick. You're gonna get sick and you're gonna get diseases from it if they use dirty
If they use dirty equipment, you're more susceptible because you're diabetic
you're more susceptible to all kinds of things and that's
That's what she was being told and sometimes it kind of looked like she was possibly crying
That's just kind of what it seemed like maybe she was crying a little bit
We're holding back the tears
that's what it kind of seemed like she was a strong woman and kind of put on a front her own self at times and
Yeah
But it's strange to think of the bridge of the nose. You know, when you hear people talk about sleeping under the bridge
What does it really mean?
Well, we have a bridge of our nose. We all of us sleep under the bridge if you think about it
We sleep under the bridge, you know
there's people they say who sleep under the bridge of a bridge a bridge bridge we drive over and
You know and so I went out there there was other bridge oh the bridge on his ship
People sleep under the bridge of a ship
there's all kinds of
critical thinking
What defines what type of bridge we sleep under
you know you and you just say a bridge we all assume a bridge you drive over and
that's kind of why I thought it was funny like with the Adam bridges and
If you take and slow his name down
a dam
Bridges, so if you build a levee you can build a dam which becomes a bridge as well
so
Yeah, it's just kind of a play on words a word play on words
And so this was from November 16th 2014. I
Don't always remember my dreams
But when I do, I write them down a lot of times what I have more of this is like just profound
Thoughts more than anything maybe they are dreams, but I wake up and
Hear them coming into my head, I don't know
maybe they would be dreams, but I tend to wake up and then I want to write them down or
I'm a little bit lazy. Sometimes I might lay in bed and
Not go write them down and then I forget what I was thinking about so
Yeah
But what but a lot of times I do a lot of times write things down
You know and a lot of times I do remember later, you know
So even if I didn't remember it earlier that day, I will remember a little bit later. So I don't know what it is
It's almost it's kind of like a waterfall of
has been let open and
Oh, there was an email talking talking about that that I received earlier about
People talking because when it's about women who are afraid to talk or speak out
kind of become pioneers for others and
I mean that and that was for me. It's been hard
it's been four years that this has been going on and I mean
I was just plugging along with my crochet crochet videos. I did not want to talk to anybody
You know, I mean, but well I shouldn't. Yeah, that's probably how it is. I would have generic conversations with people
I did not want to talk on camera
I didn't want to share any of my thoughts with anybody because I was so afraid
So afraid of what everybody was going to say
Mostly my family. Those are the ones they're the who have been the most judgmental and critical
On me my family the people who are closest to me have been the most judgmental and critical not all of them
But the ones who are closest to me have been
But I'll say my sister has been really really good and my daughter has been really really good neither one of them have judged me
Yeah, but they're the very few
Not judged me in all of this and I think I might have at least one cousin who hasn't judged me at least one
And she and she's been I don't even think she probably knows mostly. What's at what it was when she probably doesn't care but
She had told me what she had told me was
she said she dealt with the stuff earlier and I did have some conversations with her on Facebook when I had my facebook and
She said she had to deal with the things earlier. And so some of these these terms that have been coming up
she said she didn't know what the words would be called or at but
She shared with me about things that had happened to her as well
By the same family members, but she was strong and she was able to
work through it and not listen to them because
They would do this thing this gaslighting. I mean that there are our whole family
I think that's why I mean, I don't know how that happens but our whole
family has been exposed to gas lighting and that's basically what it is is it's
Piling on and the gas lighting someone it is so heavy. I mean, I don't I
Mean when you hear people talk about religion and you talk about NP and they say they're good Christian people
That I mean that that's fine to say that
But when you privately shame and blame and then Gaslight your family
There that is an illness itself. That's but I mean I can put that back on
The men in our family and a lot of the men
And I'm not saying all of them did it because they didn't but you know immediately the ones that I think of as my dad
and my mom both did it they did it to other people in our family and they did it to me and
Then they try to get like my husband to do it too, you know or just say, oh well something's wrong with her
Something's wrong with her and and that even goes into
Some of those chapters in the Bible, too
You know when you have people
Experiencing certain things and then and then they say, oh, it's the demons they're possessed. It's the demons
But but the thing I think about like right now we're experiencing that 2000 year event or whatever when they talk about
the plant planetary alignment that the Bible is a calendar kind of similar to the Mayan calendar and that
Sounds that sounds reasonable to me. That sounds that sounds really reasonable that the Bible is a calendar
And so if that's true, and there's some magnetic forces at play here
then some people are more sensitive to things than others, you know, either it's either it's magnetic forces of the planetary alignments or
There's something else going on and it's man-made and my thinking is the electromagnetic frequencies, you know
Whether whether they're man-made or whether they're planetary alignment magnetic frequencies
something's been going on for the past four years that
you know that that just
Really?
It does stuff to your brain and it makes it hurt. You know, it makes your body hurt
it it it just does stuff that is really painful and
You know, that's why I think it's funny when people talk of that. So that's another topic though
yeah, I'll just kind of stick with this one as as it is, so I don't know what I'm going to name this video, but
Yeah, maybe I'll call it under the bridge. That might be a good name under the bridge
What is the meaning of under the bridge?
Yeah, what is the meaning of under the bridge that might be a good title this video. So, okay. I'll see you guys soon and
Yeah, I
Have a lot to say now. I do I have a lot to say it's kind of like the dam has been opened
So I have a lot to say
Under the bridge from under the bridge. Yeah from under the bridge. That's where we are from under the bridge. We all have a bridge
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