So people for some reason have been saying meat man has no lore, when meat
-man clearly has lore. There's a lot of lore. You're just not looking. So I-
guess I gotta spell it out for the stupid weak-minded heads who can't see-
-what's in front of them, even though I have the best lore. I have the best, my lore-
-is the greatest, meatman has the greatest lore. So let me spell it out for you. So,
Meatman came from space. But it was called, meatmen. The men, the men was
singular though cuz it's one mass. And it was floating through space cuz you know,
-all meat comes from space. Everyone knows that. That's how it works. But then you-
know that that one movies I forgot who's in it it's like an alien just gonna come
back to me there's like an alien and it has like its brain cells are also it's
like body cells and he keeps growing and the scientists are scared it was found
on like a cold planet that's why it died or base like basically died because you
know cells don't grow in cold temperatures anyways so that's basically
with the meat man is but but in real life well meat man was just floating
around in space one day when stupid idiots at a spaceship came up and they
said oh look it's an alien idiots I missed the meat man I'm no alien but
then they took me to their world and all this was um covered in my first ten
videos look look here if you watch the playlist you'll know what I'm talking
about but then when we got to this world earth that's for this column this guy
came over and he said hey I'm gonna do this thing and all the meat men's were
in this in this containment for you this giant a metal ball it was pretty scary
but he kept us in line but the meat man is like you know a forever growing
entity it starts small you know like this the size of an atom and then you
know you wait a few millennia it becomes you know slowly it becomes the size of a
cell wait wait a few more years hey it becomes a bigger slight mass maybe the
size of like an ant and then bigger and bigger becomes the size of a normal you
know dog and then you know person and then you know tree and then he keeps
getting bigger and bigger soon it'll be a big old size of the world
except that well you know it's cold in space so that's why my meat men don't
get big it's the cellular thing again you don't
grow big in space everything is frozen that's why it's there's no life in space
so so that that's why it's like you know my meat men don't get big it's only
because it's only because he's cold stop laughing it is it isn't small its
average size so in this perfect environment the meat man gets big
even in this containment field though it's like they try and contain the meat
with the cold air but it ain't space cold that's a different type of cold I
mean you got normal cold and you got space cold it's like you know the space
gots the space particles that's why it's it's special cold you just don't get it
it's different so it's the-- mr. meat men
so we're trapped in the middle of earth space but we keep growing and growing
where else are the meatman you know now is it's very smart and it's getting
smarter because it's all it's all cells brain cells body cells fiber cells diet
fire bristles everything is compacted together into one it's that movie what's
it called I can't remember it's gonna come at the top of my head and I'm gonna
scream and shout it life it's the same thing it's essentially a giant brain
that can move and talk dull meat men don't talk much honestly so cuz he's
smart he could also use his psychic powers and make the soldier man do his
bidding but that's the thing the humans are smart too so they make a gravitonium
transform him anti psychic powers thingy inside the metal and then the meat can't
use the psychic powers but was still throwing and eventually meat is just
filling up the anti psychic metal so the humans are like well fuck we got to do
something he keeps growing but we can't move them out cuz then the meat men just
mind-control everybody so then they're thinking so I guess we'll just make
another circle of metal out of the already circled matter
is gonna be tough and expensive so this is where your tax dollars go ladies and
gentlemen so the humans start construction but during construction you
know not everything is on a missus somebody falls off a ladder
you know there's trouble of paperwork and safety unions come in the HR has to
deal with it typical you know typical things also a
little bit of meat meniscus there's no big deal no big deal it's just a little
tiny piece I mean the meatman has become so big by now within the metal that it
has become physically improbable to hold it all even in a metal container so it's
growing and it's pushing out and that's why when nobody's looking them yeah tiny
tiny piece a little tiny tiny little piece of space meets so slips out of the
cracks in the welded metal don't don't think about it don't don't think about
it's just it happens all right it happens and that tiny piece that's me
that's mr. meet me i slither away crawling and slowly growing I sneak unto
a Hummer a military vehicle from 1973 yeah that's when they came out look it
up it's a fun car factory and then from there I leave the secret base and head
towards another but it's it's a business one with with like the businessmen so
they leave the bus and he sneaked into one guy's bed and that guy works from
9:00 to 5:00 he's exhausted after a hard day at the office I'm I feel bad for the
guy he goes in his nice-looking car and he drives home I'm in the back I put my
seat belt on I know the traffic rules come on but but they put it on quietly
so he doesn't hear and then we goes home he lives in a nice big old apartment
with his wife you know two kids wife cooks the dinner kids rowdy and excited
little young roll of things and then I go inside cuz I'm smelling something
good they're having meat for dinner and then um I go in the house and I eat them
they tasted pretty good all right you know you know not too
a little tender a little you know crunchy on the sides not the kids the
kids tasted like trash they barely had any fat to them really what's the point
of eating when it's so small I think sometimes I take a massive shit and
flush and then I go to a another apartment do the same thing eat them and
then I keep doing that to a bunch of different apartments there's lots of
stuff people they eat meat you know and then I do that till I'm fault and I go
to one last apartment a lady opens up I say hey dude cuz that's the only words I
know at the time in English the lady screams and also she's old so she dies I
wear her skin it's hot sexually and then I looked up on the internet and I look
up the data and the research and I look up a few movies like transformers
Jurassic Park space buddies I'm at the shaggy-dog also some good movies like
whiplash Nightcrawler that heat wait I didn't see the heat and also five nights
at freddys less place, and I realized, something wait a mingergsdbrgefgefsf_
Chapter 5: Break-in.
Anchor 1: "If you're just tuning in to us here at Channel C News, breaking news shows that a large group of police officers have surrounded the vicinity of a local apartment."
Anchor 2: "We pass the floor to Bret Filletofish, who is live on the scene."
Reporter: "... Thanks Jane. Jane, we do not know what's going on, but it appears that a large amount of officers are outside, prepared to bust in, it seems. We don't know what's going on, they won't tell me. "
Please_Wait_for_Further_Details_
Anchor 2: "Any news there Brett?" Reporter: "No, not really anything Jane. The officers won't say anything."
Reporter: "Perhaps it's a drug raid. Perhaps it's a terrorist. Maybe someone just didn't pay their alimony check, who knows. We don't know what the officers are doing, but it-op."
Reporter: "Oh, it appears the officers have broken in. They are now going up, into the building."
Reporter: "Wait-! Something's happening..." Reporter: "It... it appears, some of the officers are being thrown out the building..."
Reporter: "Oh.. oh God. There... there's blood. There's blood. Officers are down. This is Channel C, Bret Filletofish on the scene! Officers are down. I am reporting this."
Reporter: "It's, it... wha... what the... what the f***! What the f*** is that!!?" ???: (Sound of Loud roaring).
Reporter: "What the, oh god, oh god, nononono-)." (Tape stops).
Anchor 1: Bret? Anchor 2: Bret? (Slightly louder than Anchor 1). Anchor 2: ...Bret. Anchor 2: Oh dear...
Anchor 1: Oh dear is right Jane, because up next, we get a look at a mall Santa, who uses real Reindeer. Right after these messages.
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