- Hello, friends! I'm Mike Kelton,
and this is the Week's Receipts.
This week was literally insane.
Roseanne tweeted her career away,
Snoop Dogg broke a world record,
and you guys, it's National Parent Day.
And while I have no human kids,
here's a pic of my dog-child, Curtis.
I love him very much, and I'm really proud
'cause he just made his MTV debut.
I'm so proud of you, baby, you do your thing,
mama loves you, let's start the show.
(drum music)
Alright, this next story gives me anxiety.
This week, Taylor Swift was interviewed by a reporter
from BBC one radio, backstage after a music festival
in Wales, which is new for her.
She doesn't usually do interviews.
Anyway, at the end of the interview, the reporter said.
- I think you need to have a shower now.
- Yes, he insinuated that she smelled, and she does smell.
She smells like 10 Grammys,
not grannies,
Grammys.
This week, Roseanne Barr tweeted some pretty racist remarks
about a former Obama official.
The tweet sparked lots of outrage and ABC
quickly responded to the statement and canceled her show.
And I don't have any jokes for this story
but I do think it's a nice reminder to not be a racist.
Okay, I can't confirm if they're really dating,
but I will say, I am here for this relationship.
They're both such fast rappers,
I feel like they could squash relationship beef
like really quickly through a fun rap.
Something like this:
♪ Yo, Nicki, where are my keys ♪
♪ Em, I don't have ya' keys, I never saw 'em, never will ♪
♪ Well I thought you had my keys ♪
♪ Listen, listen boy, I don't have ya' keys ♪
♪ And if I did have your keys, I'd need ya to say please ♪
♪ Well, Nicki, please, shut up ♪
♪ Here are ya' keys, love ya baby, bye ♪
(laughs)
Don't know if you caught the premiere of The Bachelorette
this week, but I bet your Aunt Lisa in Pittsburgh did,
and me, I did.
Well if you missed it, lemme recap real quick.
Becca, who you might remember from last season,
when Arie revoked his engagement to her,
is back and ready for TV love.
She met a bunch of suitors, one who wore a chicken suit,
and my personal favorite,
Joe, the grocery store owner from Chicago.
He's sweet, handsome, used to be a trader,
and he owns a grocery store.
So America,
meet Trader Joe.
I smell a spinoff,
and groceries.
Okay this week, Snoop Dogg broke a world record by making
the largest gin 'n juice ever made.
The final cocktail measured more than 132 gallons,
which was for sure the largest gin 'n juice
he's ever sipped on.
And hopefully next summer he'll try
and break the world record
for dropping it like it's the hottest.
And if you figure out what that actually looks like,
let me know in the comments, or post a pic.
I'll be over here tryin'.
♪ Like it's hot, drop it like it's hot ♪
♪ Drop it like it, drop it like it, drop it like it's hot ♪
And finally, this week in 2009, Miley Cyrus started working
with now-boyfriend Liam Hemsworth on the film
The Last Song.
- He just so respectful and he just got such a good energy
and that's I think mainly why he did the role so well,
is he very much is like Will Blakelee,
just of what a good heart he has.
I think it was the first day, we both just knew that
it was gonna be a great summer,
and not to mention I think when you just vie with someone,
and your energies connect, I think it's pretty obvious,
and I think it happens usually, right in the beginning.
- She also went on to say, quote, "I got a hot boy."
And you know what, Miley, so do I.
I also got a hot boy.
He's my boyfriend, and he's 31,
and currently our air conditioner is broken.
Super hot.
Babe, that was the receipts, and I feel like we're dating,
because I called you babe.
I hope you think this relationship is going well,
because I'm lovin' it.
Let me know in the comments how you think we'll break up,
and I'll see you guys next week.
And finally, for National Parents' Day,
I think you guys need to see another pic of my baby, Curt.
He's adorable, and me and my boyfriend rescued him,
so now you know we're amazing people who rescue animals.
And you are probably sick of me now, because I'm annoying,
or at least my boyfriend thinks I am.
Okay, bye.
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