-Guys, last night, after months of build-up,
President Trump finally met with
North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un in Singapore.
It really seemed like they got along well.
Here they are meeting for the first time.
[ Camera shutters clicking ]
That is the historic moment when they realized
they both get their haircuts from the same Weedwackers.
Isn't that amazing? -Wow.
But it was a big deal.
They shook hands, they said "hello,"
and then they whispered, "I can't believe that IHOP
is now International House of Burgers."
IHOb?! What?!"
Yep, they seemed pretty comfortable with each other.
Kim placed his hand on Trump's back at one point.
Look at this.
Seems friendly, but I'm not sure that Kim was being very sincere.
Check out Trump's back a few seconds later.
Look at this.
Come on! Hey, that it not -- That is mean.
That's not nice. -That's rude.
-That is rude. -Why would you do that?
-Of course, some people are questioning the meeting.
One reporter asked, "How could you meet with
someone with such a bad human-rights record?"
And Trump was like, "Sorry. Is that question for me or Kim?"
And, later, one reporter asked Trump
how he could be so sure about Kim Jong-Un.
Take a look at Trump's response.
-How do you ensure that North Korea
is not all talk, no action?
-Well, I think, can you ensure anything?
Can I ensure that you're gonna be able to
sit down properly when you sit down?
I mean, you can't ensure anything.
-What?
How hard does the president think sitting down properly is?
But during that same press conference,
Trump was pretty vague about what went on in the meeting.
He kept referring to "things." Watch this.
-I just wrote down some of the things we got.
A lot of things included.
And then you have things that weren't included.
We're gonna be working with them on a lot of other things.
When you look at all of those things that we got...
A lot of things happened very fast.
I think he wants to do things.
A lot of great things can happen.
Things will change.
Things will be happening. A lot of things happened.
We have to do other things, and that's a very important thing.
-He's jet-lagged. He's jet-lagged. Yeah.
[ As Trump ] There's a lot of things.
A lot of things happened.
[ Normal voice ] He sounds like a student
doing a book report on a book he didn't read.
It's like, "A lot of things. People were using things.
There were a lot of things.
Then I turned the page, and more things happened."
Did anyone notice this?
While Trump and Kim stepped out of their limos
for their first meeting, I couldn't help but think
the whole thing seemed kind of like
an episode of "The Bachelorette."
Watch this.
-Coming up on "The Summit"...
Meet Kim, a 35-year-old dictator from Pyongyang.
Tonight, he's going on a one-on-one date with Donald,
a 71-year-old social-media influencer
and steak enthusiast from Washington.
Stay tuned to find out if this ends with friendship
or the end of the world.
-Yeah, it's very interesting. You never know.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Very interesting.
That's right -- last night was
another amazing episode of "The Bachelorette."
I love that show.
One of the best scenes was when David and Jordan
got into an argument during a group date.
If you missed it, don't worry, because here to re-enact
that scene with actual lines from the show
are The Roots' own Tariq and Questlove.
Guys. [ Cheers and applause ]
Whenever you're ready.
-Thanks, Jimmy.
Tonight, I'll be playing David,
a 25-year-old venture capitalist from Denver,
who's not having any of Jordan.
-And I'll be playing Jordan, a 26-year-old male model
from Florida, who is not having any of David.
-Perfect. Well, whenever you're ready.
[ Dramatic music plays ]
-I got a notification one day that said, "Congratulations.
You've reached 4,000 matches on Tinder in 2017."
-What do you think your matching percentage is?
-Well, I think if I swipe right on someone,
they'll swipe right on me.
-So you're 100%? -Mm...pretty close to it, yeah.
-Seems high.
You know Becca will be able to see through all that stuff.
-You are the skeleton of a man, David.
Hey, cheers to you being a bitch.
-Jordan, I think we came here and said --
-It's been a pleasure.
No matter what, it's been a pleasure.
David, you're living in a world of fiction
in your own little head, so I think you need
to chill out and stop talking to me.
-Uh, what's this look I'm getting from you right now?
What's that one called? The "Clint Eastwood"?
-[ Laughs ]
You think I'm a joke?!
I am a Wilhelmina Model.
And if you're trying to tear down my image
and my three-year contract with them [chuckles]
you're failing at it, because guess what.
Attached to me is professionality.
And if you're trying to wreck my image,
you'll never succeed, because you know why?
Because my image is me.
♪♪ -Wow!
[ Cheers and applause ] Oh, my goodness!
Oh! Give them the Emmy. Give them the Emmy right now.
Questlove and Tariq right there. Incredible!
♪♪
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
Thank you very much. Thanks. Good to see you. Yeah.
Also, I heard about a man here in New York
who dresses up like a sorcerer,
goes up to people on the subway, and then grants them wishes.
This is interesting.
It turns out people's number-one wish
is for him to leave them alone.
They go, "Just get away from me."
And, finally, guys, it's "Jurassic World Week"
here at the show.
Now, the "Jurassic Park" movies are great,
but, sometimes, the dinosaur roars
can be a little too intense.
So for those of you too scared to watch "Jurassic Park,"
here are some dinosaur roars
replaced with sounds we can all enjoy.
Watch this.
[ Woman screams ] -Hey!
-Hey!
-Wassup?! -Wassup?!
-Wassup?!
-Wassup?!
-Wassup?!
-[ Snorts ]
Ah-choo!
-Come on.
-Ow!
-There you go. We have a great show.
Give it up for The Roots!
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