-I'm very impressed that
you use your time off from your television job
to come do stage work. -Uh-huh. I do.
-Last time you were here, you were doing a one-man show,
"Fully Committed." -Yes. Yes.
-Now, this time, you're actually sharing the stage
with some other actors. -There's a few other actors.
The last one, I played 40 characters in a one-man show,
and, this time, I'm playing one character
in a play with six people. -Okay. So that's --
-That's more -- That's -- I like that more.
-You like that more. Yeah. -Yeah.
-I can imagine playing 40 characters
for however many nights you did it was pretty exhausting.
-It was great.
I mean, I lost like 15 pounds during the run.
If you want to lose weight, just do a one-man show.
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. -It's really...
-That's what they all say. -That's what they all say.
-This is an interesting play
about the different kind of people
that can start families... -Right.
-..and how they start families. -Yeah.
And it's sort of like about the breakdown
of the, you know, empathy
between subcultures of the LGBTQ community.
And I -- That sounds really dry and boring,
but it's actually a really funny play,
and there are a lot of moments where, like,
"I can't believe you just said that, but you did."
And you actually learn -- I'm learning a lot
about the transgender community.
And it's -- it's a really great play, very timely.
-Well, that's helpful, because, you know,
I do think there are things we could all --
all want to learn about different communities,
and sometimes we are afraid that,
if we ask, we'll seem ignorant.
-Yeah, I had friends who came,
and, like, we ask some of these questions in the play,
and my friends were like,
"Oh, we want to know the answer to that, too."
-[ Laughing ] Yeah. -Like, truly --
like, "I've always been scared to ask that question."
So it's -- it's great.
-You are introduced in the play
as a gay uncle who's in charge of babysitting.
You do some babysitting. -Yes.
-Yes. -Yes.
I used to babys-- that was like my bread and butter
before I became a successful actor.
[ Light laughter ] -Wow.
Were you good? Were you --
-I was an amazing babysitter. [ Cheers and applause ]
-You really were? Okay.
-I really was a great babysitter.
I babysat for a friend of mine who was an actor,
and I had just, you know, his daughter Nora,
and I would take her to, like, in the parks,
and I would meet other parents while I was at the parks.
And they would kind of be like, "Who's that guy?
Can -- Do you -- Do you have -- Do you do this a lot?
Do -- Do you have time, like, on Thursday?
Can you come by? Like, we're short a babysitter."
And so I started getting poached by other parents.
-Wow. -And then I started,
like, hedging them against one another.
It's like, "Well, Mrs. Morrison pays $12 an hour."
[ Laughter ] So, like, you know --
I was really -- I was quite a shark.
-Wow. -Yeah.
-That's very impressive. -Uh-huh. Yeah.
-And I'm also... -And not to say
I won't go back to it when "Modern Family" is done.
I mean... -Yeah.
-[ Chuckles ] If anyone wants me to...
[ Cheers and applause ] -But let's make it clear.
-Yeah, my rates have gone up.
-It's not 12 bucks anymore, yeah.
-Let's talk about inflation. Yeah.
-Do you like using your off time
from being in front of a TV camera
to come back and do theater? -I do. I love it.
I mean, with -- when you're on camera --
and you know this from doing TV --
like, you -- your --
your performance is edited in another room.
And, like, in theater, you know, you're in complete charge --
in control of your -- your performance.
I think it's so exciting. -And it's great.
And you can adjust based on the audience on any given night.
-Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Like, you're not laughing right now,
so, then, I would do, like, something wacky like this,
and then you'd start laughing. [ Laughter ]
So, you know, you can do things like that.
-You got them.
-And you can wave to Fred when you're feeling insecure.
[ Laughter ]
And he doesn't wave back, but that's fine.
That's fine. It's fine. It's like, don't worry about it.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-Fred. -[ Speaking indistinctly ]
[ Applause ]
-You -- You and your husband just traveled.
-Yeah. -You went to London.
You went to Paris. -And Berlin.
-Berlin. -Which I'd never been to before.
-How is Berlin? -It's great.
It's great for people who are willing
to, like, see the sunrise. -Yeah.
-Which -- I'm not one of those people.
I really like sleep. [ Laughter ]
-I went to Berlin once, and I think I went a little late.
Like, my party days were over, and I felt like an old man.
-Oh, yeah. Mine, too. Absolutely, I'm with you.
We should go to Berlin together. -Yeah. Great.
-But I -- We -- -Did you make an effort?
-We did make an effort.
One night, we definitely made it to like 8:00 a.m.
Yeah. -That's great.
[ Cheers and applause ] -And...
we were really proud of ourselves,
and then, we basically fell asleep for a whole day
and lost a day in Berlin. -Yeah.
-Yeah. -That's not great.
-So it wasn't fully worth it, to be honest.
-You did not go to the Tonys. -No.
No, I was doing -- I was onstage that night.
-Right, so, but you did go to Tonys after parties.
-I went to the after parties, which I think is probably
the way to do it now. -Yeah.
-Just, like, skip the ceremony, and go to the parties.
And, again, I was kind of trying to relive my Berlin days.
I was, like, staying out way too late.
-Oh, no. -Yeah, it was --
-But you just found out from Berlin
that you're not cut for that. -Mm-hmm.
-How did you forget so quickly? -I just forgot very quickly.
Enough liquor makes you forget things.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And I knew it was time to leave
when my friend Colin brought me back --
I had been drinking vodka sodas,
and he brought me back a drink that --
it was a tequila and water with no ice in a Martini glass,
and he's like, "This is all they have left."
[ Laughter ] I was like,
"Then we need to go home." -Yeah.
-Like, that's when you leave. -Right.
-"We can't be here anymore." -Yeah, you can stay --
you can keep drinking your first choice and your second choice.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-But when it's the last choice...
-And it's warm... -Yeah.
-...and in a Martini glass, and it doesn't belong in that,
it's just -- it's time to go home.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
-It's like, "I can give you a pint of rosé..." Unh-unh.
-Yeah, in, like, a sippy cup. You're like,
"I don't feel like this is what I should be doing right now."
-I didn't realize this -- which is an incredible pull --
Tony Kushner, the incredible playwright, married you guys.
-Yeah. Yeah, he was our officiant.
Yeah, he wrote "Angels in America"
and is a Pulitzer Prize winner for that.
-Yeah. [ Cheers and applause ]
-And...yeah. -And, of course...
he -- you know, he deservedly -- that show won a Tony this year.
-Yeah, they won tons of Tonys.
-Have you seen the revival?
-I have seen it. I loved it.
I was highly impressed with it.
Nathan Lane, of course, is in it.
And he's -- he plays Pepper on "Modern Family."
So I was there to see him, and it's so amazing seeing him
in a role that's completely different
from the role he plays on "Modern Family."
-Did you see it same day, back to back?
-I did two days. I needed --
I had to sleep in between. -Got you.
-Some people do this throughout one day,
and I was like, I feel --
I feel better going to bed between plays.
-Yeah, but you did do them back-to-back days?
You did have a -- -Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely, yeah. -That's really cool.
But, I mean, it was -- it was fantastic.
It's an amazing production
that people should definitely try and catch.
-It's amazing that you pulled Tony Kushner
as an officiant for your wedding.
-I just asked him, and he said, "Yes,"
which is -- I mean, I kind of knew him,
but not well enough to say, "Will you marry us?"
-Yeah. -And I was like,
"Well, I'm gonna just try." And he said, "Okay."
And, like, we basically had, like, a breakfast together
where he, like, asked us how we met.
I'm like, "This is just so weird."
[ Laughter ] "You're gonna marry us."
I'm just like, "Well, this is our origin story."
[ Laughter ] And...
But he wrote this ceremony that I was like,
"Well, you're gonna win a second Pulitzer for this
because it's amazing." [ Laughter ]
-That's fantastic. -So beautiful. Yeah.
-Well, that -- He still hasn't given me
the transcript of the ceremony yet, though.
-Oh, interesting. -So, if he's watching...
I'm sure he watches every night. -I'm sure he is, yes.
-...I need that. -Okay, great.
-Yeah, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-Thanks so much for being here. -Absolutely.
-It's always such a pleasure to see you.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ]
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